Re: BPDs keeping phone tallies

[Guest guest]

I remember reading that somewhere too; maybe it was in " Stop Walking On

Eggshells " : that those with bpd do better on regular schedules. Rather like

very small children, the predictability/constancy makes them feel more secure.

So if you as the KO control the schedule and initiate the calling, maybe that

will work better for you too. You'll know when your scheduled contact is,

rather than being " ambushed " by an unexpected call when you're not emotionally

prepared for it.

-Annie

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> My phone relationship with my nada has evolved into my calling her 99% of the

time. This shift happened when I started screening my calls more and she just

couldn't stand having to leave a message and waiting for me to call her back.

Sometimes I dislike it that the calling burden is all on me, but then I remember

that because *I* choose when we talk, I also have time to prepare for each call,

choose a time when I feel strong and don't feel ambushed. So there are

advantages to being the one to initiate calls.

>

> But about your situation, I'd say choose a calling schedule that feels

comfortable to you, often enough to check on her not so often you are left

thinking about the last conversation all the time and stick with it. I think

that BPD's are calmed by a predictable level of contact...how it works for you

is what matters though.

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