Re: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort Food

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thank you for posting and sharing. I think this is what IE is truly about: letting us learn to tolerate painful emotions (instead of attempting to drown them with eating... which doesn't work, anyway. I do believe that by letting yourself feel, you (the generic you, not you, per se) work through them and are released from their grip much more quickly.

it is not easy work to do! thank you for your honesty.best,abby

 

It's an hour later, and I didn't eat for solace but went for a walk instead, which actually felt somewhat healing. Now I am getting physically hungry, so I can get something to eat that will nourish my body, as well as being something I am hungry for.

In IntuitiveEating_Support , " sarab80753 " wrote:

>

> I'm sitting on my deck swing on a sunny, fall afternoon. The sun is showering golden sparkles across the river. I'm fighting to keep tears from sliding down my cheeks. On this beautiful river, which has been my place of peace and joy, my husband and I spent many sunny boating days with our kids through all the years they grew up. Then, he decided he'd be happier with someone else. Today my kids have gone up this same river to visit him on his boat. I have been told that no one but him could ever want me and he wouldn't want me if I was the last woman on earth. He is there where we have spent our lives together, but without me and with our kids and his wonderful new soulmate wife. It is killing me. I couldn't hurt more if I'd been hit by a Mac truck. As a former compulsive overeater, I have been fighting the urge to use food to shut down the pain. I just needed to say this. Thanks for listening.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thank you for posting and sharing. I think this is what IE is truly about: letting us learn to tolerate painful emotions (instead of attempting to drown them with eating... which doesn't work, anyway. I do believe that by letting yourself feel, you (the generic you, not you, per se) work through them and are released from their grip much more quickly.

it is not easy work to do! thank you for your honesty.best,abby

 

It's an hour later, and I didn't eat for solace but went for a walk instead, which actually felt somewhat healing. Now I am getting physically hungry, so I can get something to eat that will nourish my body, as well as being something I am hungry for.

In IntuitiveEating_Support , " sarab80753 " wrote:

>

> I'm sitting on my deck swing on a sunny, fall afternoon. The sun is showering golden sparkles across the river. I'm fighting to keep tears from sliding down my cheeks. On this beautiful river, which has been my place of peace and joy, my husband and I spent many sunny boating days with our kids through all the years they grew up. Then, he decided he'd be happier with someone else. Today my kids have gone up this same river to visit him on his boat. I have been told that no one but him could ever want me and he wouldn't want me if I was the last woman on earth. He is there where we have spent our lives together, but without me and with our kids and his wonderful new soulmate wife. It is killing me. I couldn't hurt more if I'd been hit by a Mac truck. As a former compulsive overeater, I have been fighting the urge to use food to shut down the pain. I just needed to say this. Thanks for listening.

>

[Guest guest]

Wow!  What a hurtle, to not eat through the pain.  I think that is one of my hardest things. I finally made the connection, after a long time, of why I eat uncontrollably after a good day with my friend or family.  It's because I am lonely(live alone).  All my life I have lived with someone: Parents, college roommates, husband, children.  Now in the evenings I can often feel lonely.  I do like some aspects of living alone though and don't think I could live with someone again. I've been too " spoiled " in my own ways for too long. I too have isolated myself however over the past few years, due to illnesses and circumstances.  I need to change that.  I am so glad you are writing in.  We support each other as best we can.   Sandy

 

I appreciate the replies to this post. In fact, it gives me strength to know that there are others out there who hear and offer support. Your words and suggestions mean a lot to me, especially since I tend to be a loner. Thank you. I survived the intensity of the emotional pain without eating to it.

>

> I'm sitting on my deck swing on a sunny, fall afternoon. The sun is showering golden sparkles across the river. I'm fighting to keep tears from sliding down my cheeks. On this beautiful river, which has been my place of peace and joy, my husband and I spent many sunny boating days with our kids through all the years they grew up. Then, he decided he'd be happier with someone else. Today my kids have gone up this same river to visit him on his boat. I have been told that no one but him could ever want me and he wouldn't want me if I was the last woman on earth. He is there where we have spent our lives together, but without me and with our kids and his wonderful new soulmate wife. It is killing me. I couldn't hurt more if I'd been hit by a Mac truck. As a former compulsive overeater, I have been fighting the urge to use food to shut down the pain. I just needed to say this. Thanks for listening.

>

[Guest guest]

Wow!  What a hurtle, to not eat through the pain.  I think that is one of my hardest things. I finally made the connection, after a long time, of why I eat uncontrollably after a good day with my friend or family.  It's because I am lonely(live alone).  All my life I have lived with someone: Parents, college roommates, husband, children.  Now in the evenings I can often feel lonely.  I do like some aspects of living alone though and don't think I could live with someone again. I've been too " spoiled " in my own ways for too long. I too have isolated myself however over the past few years, due to illnesses and circumstances.  I need to change that.  I am so glad you are writing in.  We support each other as best we can.   Sandy

 

I appreciate the replies to this post. In fact, it gives me strength to know that there are others out there who hear and offer support. Your words and suggestions mean a lot to me, especially since I tend to be a loner. Thank you. I survived the intensity of the emotional pain without eating to it.

>

> I'm sitting on my deck swing on a sunny, fall afternoon. The sun is showering golden sparkles across the river. I'm fighting to keep tears from sliding down my cheeks. On this beautiful river, which has been my place of peace and joy, my husband and I spent many sunny boating days with our kids through all the years they grew up. Then, he decided he'd be happier with someone else. Today my kids have gone up this same river to visit him on his boat. I have been told that no one but him could ever want me and he wouldn't want me if I was the last woman on earth. He is there where we have spent our lives together, but without me and with our kids and his wonderful new soulmate wife. It is killing me. I couldn't hurt more if I'd been hit by a Mac truck. As a former compulsive overeater, I have been fighting the urge to use food to shut down the pain. I just needed to say this. Thanks for listening.

>

[Guest guest]

Wow!  What a hurtle, to not eat through the pain.  I think that is one of my hardest things. I finally made the connection, after a long time, of why I eat uncontrollably after a good day with my friend or family.  It's because I am lonely(live alone).  All my life I have lived with someone: Parents, college roommates, husband, children.  Now in the evenings I can often feel lonely.  I do like some aspects of living alone though and don't think I could live with someone again. I've been too " spoiled " in my own ways for too long. I too have isolated myself however over the past few years, due to illnesses and circumstances.  I need to change that.  I am so glad you are writing in.  We support each other as best we can.   Sandy

 

I appreciate the replies to this post. In fact, it gives me strength to know that there are others out there who hear and offer support. Your words and suggestions mean a lot to me, especially since I tend to be a loner. Thank you. I survived the intensity of the emotional pain without eating to it.

>

> I'm sitting on my deck swing on a sunny, fall afternoon. The sun is showering golden sparkles across the river. I'm fighting to keep tears from sliding down my cheeks. On this beautiful river, which has been my place of peace and joy, my husband and I spent many sunny boating days with our kids through all the years they grew up. Then, he decided he'd be happier with someone else. Today my kids have gone up this same river to visit him on his boat. I have been told that no one but him could ever want me and he wouldn't want me if I was the last woman on earth. He is there where we have spent our lives together, but without me and with our kids and his wonderful new soulmate wife. It is killing me. I couldn't hurt more if I'd been hit by a Mac truck. As a former compulsive overeater, I have been fighting the urge to use food to shut down the pain. I just needed to say this. Thanks for listening.

>

[Guest guest]

I just wanted to comment on the former husband that said no one but him would want you. What a nasty horrible person to say that to you, if that is the statement you are basing your worth on forget that. We have all said things in the heat of the moment and don't really consider how the other person will feel long term. I am sure there is a part of you that may believe that but I hope a larger part of you believes that is not true. You are single now and if you want to change that you can at any time. I truly believe that when you are ready the right person will come along and love you for who ever you are. Believe me that whole soul mate thing is a crock love long term takes work. 10 years from now you don't wake up next

to that person and go wow he's so awesome everyday. No one is perfect and life can be hard so just cause he has moved on and you think someone else has your life they don't. You can move on too and have a better life without him.About 15 years ago my sons father married the woman of his dreams and I compared myself to her. She was thinner and prettier then me and of course had him. For years I tried to understand why we just could not make our relationship work, but in the end I did figure it out. A few years in to his marriage he got sick and was treated for cancer and then he seemed to be doing better. Well a couple of years later the cancer came back and he died. During that time his wife had gotten in huge fights with his family and threw them out of their home and was terrible to my son. My son told me that his father had been unhappy for awhile and if he

would have lived he probably would have gotten a divorce. I realized that I could not have loved him the way that I did and gone threw that illness and been a good mother to my son. I probably would have shut down and lost it. By being removed from the situation I could be there for my son and have some space to deal with the death of someone I had loved for 20 years. God did me a favor.This is the year 2011 you can be single, married or in a relationship if you want to, you don't have to. No matter what your status that does not define your worth.To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sunday, November 6, 2011 5:57 AMSubject: Re: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort Food

Wow! What a hurtle, to not eat through the pain. I think that is one of my hardest things. I finally made the connection, after a long time, of why I eat uncontrollably after a good day with my friend or family. It's because I am lonely(live alone). All my life I have lived with someone: Parents, college roommates, husband, children. Now in the evenings I can often feel lonely. I do like some aspects of living alone though and don't think I could live with someone again. I've been too "spoiled" in my own ways for too long. I too have isolated myself however over the past few years, due to illnesses and circumstances. I need to change that. I am so glad you are writing in. We support each other as best we can. Sandy

I appreciate the replies to this post. In fact, it gives me strength to know that there are others out there who hear and offer support. Your words and suggestions mean a lot to me, especially since I tend to be a loner. Thank you. I survived the intensity of the emotional pain without eating to it.

>

> I'm sitting on my deck swing on a sunny, fall afternoon. The sun is showering golden sparkles across the river. I'm fighting to keep tears from sliding down my cheeks. On this beautiful river, which has been my place of peace and joy, my husband and I spent many sunny boating days with our kids through all the years they grew up. Then, he decided he'd be happier with someone else. Today my kids have gone up this same river to visit him on his boat. I have been told that no one but him could ever want me and he wouldn't want me if I was the last woman on earth. He is there where we have spent our lives together, but without me and with our kids and his wonderful new soulmate wife. It is killing me. I couldn't hurt more if I'd been hit by a Mac truck. As a former compulsive overeater, I have been fighting the urge to use food to shut down the pain. I just needed to say this. Thanks for listening.

>

[Guest guest]

I just wanted to comment on the former husband that said no one but him would want you. What a nasty horrible person to say that to you, if that is the statement you are basing your worth on forget that. We have all said things in the heat of the moment and don't really consider how the other person will feel long term. I am sure there is a part of you that may believe that but I hope a larger part of you believes that is not true. You are single now and if you want to change that you can at any time. I truly believe that when you are ready the right person will come along and love you for who ever you are. Believe me that whole soul mate thing is a crock love long term takes work. 10 years from now you don't wake up next

to that person and go wow he's so awesome everyday. No one is perfect and life can be hard so just cause he has moved on and you think someone else has your life they don't. You can move on too and have a better life without him.About 15 years ago my sons father married the woman of his dreams and I compared myself to her. She was thinner and prettier then me and of course had him. For years I tried to understand why we just could not make our relationship work, but in the end I did figure it out. A few years in to his marriage he got sick and was treated for cancer and then he seemed to be doing better. Well a couple of years later the cancer came back and he died. During that time his wife had gotten in huge fights with his family and threw them out of their home and was terrible to my son. My son told me that his father had been unhappy for awhile and if he

would have lived he probably would have gotten a divorce. I realized that I could not have loved him the way that I did and gone threw that illness and been a good mother to my son. I probably would have shut down and lost it. By being removed from the situation I could be there for my son and have some space to deal with the death of someone I had loved for 20 years. God did me a favor.This is the year 2011 you can be single, married or in a relationship if you want to, you don't have to. No matter what your status that does not define your worth.To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sunday, November 6, 2011 5:57 AMSubject: Re: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort Food

Wow! What a hurtle, to not eat through the pain. I think that is one of my hardest things. I finally made the connection, after a long time, of why I eat uncontrollably after a good day with my friend or family. It's because I am lonely(live alone). All my life I have lived with someone: Parents, college roommates, husband, children. Now in the evenings I can often feel lonely. I do like some aspects of living alone though and don't think I could live with someone again. I've been too "spoiled" in my own ways for too long. I too have isolated myself however over the past few years, due to illnesses and circumstances. I need to change that. I am so glad you are writing in. We support each other as best we can. Sandy

I appreciate the replies to this post. In fact, it gives me strength to know that there are others out there who hear and offer support. Your words and suggestions mean a lot to me, especially since I tend to be a loner. Thank you. I survived the intensity of the emotional pain without eating to it.

>

> I'm sitting on my deck swing on a sunny, fall afternoon. The sun is showering golden sparkles across the river. I'm fighting to keep tears from sliding down my cheeks. On this beautiful river, which has been my place of peace and joy, my husband and I spent many sunny boating days with our kids through all the years they grew up. Then, he decided he'd be happier with someone else. Today my kids have gone up this same river to visit him on his boat. I have been told that no one but him could ever want me and he wouldn't want me if I was the last woman on earth. He is there where we have spent our lives together, but without me and with our kids and his wonderful new soulmate wife. It is killing me. I couldn't hurt more if I'd been hit by a Mac truck. As a former compulsive overeater, I have been fighting the urge to use food to shut down the pain. I just needed to say this. Thanks for listening.

>

[Guest guest]

I just wanted to comment on the former husband that said no one but him would want you. What a nasty horrible person to say that to you, if that is the statement you are basing your worth on forget that. We have all said things in the heat of the moment and don't really consider how the other person will feel long term. I am sure there is a part of you that may believe that but I hope a larger part of you believes that is not true. You are single now and if you want to change that you can at any time. I truly believe that when you are ready the right person will come along and love you for who ever you are. Believe me that whole soul mate thing is a crock love long term takes work. 10 years from now you don't wake up next

to that person and go wow he's so awesome everyday. No one is perfect and life can be hard so just cause he has moved on and you think someone else has your life they don't. You can move on too and have a better life without him.About 15 years ago my sons father married the woman of his dreams and I compared myself to her. She was thinner and prettier then me and of course had him. For years I tried to understand why we just could not make our relationship work, but in the end I did figure it out. A few years in to his marriage he got sick and was treated for cancer and then he seemed to be doing better. Well a couple of years later the cancer came back and he died. During that time his wife had gotten in huge fights with his family and threw them out of their home and was terrible to my son. My son told me that his father had been unhappy for awhile and if he

would have lived he probably would have gotten a divorce. I realized that I could not have loved him the way that I did and gone threw that illness and been a good mother to my son. I probably would have shut down and lost it. By being removed from the situation I could be there for my son and have some space to deal with the death of someone I had loved for 20 years. God did me a favor.This is the year 2011 you can be single, married or in a relationship if you want to, you don't have to. No matter what your status that does not define your worth.To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sunday, November 6, 2011 5:57 AMSubject: Re: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort Food

Wow! What a hurtle, to not eat through the pain. I think that is one of my hardest things. I finally made the connection, after a long time, of why I eat uncontrollably after a good day with my friend or family. It's because I am lonely(live alone). All my life I have lived with someone: Parents, college roommates, husband, children. Now in the evenings I can often feel lonely. I do like some aspects of living alone though and don't think I could live with someone again. I've been too "spoiled" in my own ways for too long. I too have isolated myself however over the past few years, due to illnesses and circumstances. I need to change that. I am so glad you are writing in. We support each other as best we can. Sandy

I appreciate the replies to this post. In fact, it gives me strength to know that there are others out there who hear and offer support. Your words and suggestions mean a lot to me, especially since I tend to be a loner. Thank you. I survived the intensity of the emotional pain without eating to it.

>

> I'm sitting on my deck swing on a sunny, fall afternoon. The sun is showering golden sparkles across the river. I'm fighting to keep tears from sliding down my cheeks. On this beautiful river, which has been my place of peace and joy, my husband and I spent many sunny boating days with our kids through all the years they grew up. Then, he decided he'd be happier with someone else. Today my kids have gone up this same river to visit him on his boat. I have been told that no one but him could ever want me and he wouldn't want me if I was the last woman on earth. He is there where we have spent our lives together, but without me and with our kids and his wonderful new soulmate wife. It is killing me. I couldn't hurt more if I'd been hit by a Mac truck. As a former compulsive overeater, I have been fighting the urge to use food to shut down the pain. I just needed to say this. Thanks for listening.

>

[Guest guest]

Your welcome Sandy your words just sparked something in me. I used to believe what other people thought and said about me must be true. I would then keep repeating all of the negative things in my mind so I would no longer have any self esteem. Opinions change and things are said in the heat of the moment and can't be taken back. I have just started this process and hope to be able to just feel my feelings and not eat. Remember how telling your story you inspired me. So thank you!To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sunday, November 6, 2011 10:08 AMSubject: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort Food

Thank you, .

> >>

> >> I'm sitting on my deck swing on a sunny, fall afternoon. The sun is showering golden sparkles across the river. I'm fighting to keep tears from sliding down my cheeks. On this beautiful river, which has been my place of peace and joy, my husband and I spent many sunny boating days with our kids through all the years they grew up. Then, he decided he'd be happier with someone else. Today my kids have gone up this same river to visit him on his boat. I have been told that no one but him could ever want me and he wouldn't want me if I was the last woman on earth. He is there where we have spent our lives together, but without me and with our kids and his wonderful new soulmate wife. It is killing me. I couldn't hurt more if I'd been hit by a Mac truck. As a former compulsive overeater, I have been fighting the urge to use food to shut down the pain. I just needed to say this. Thanks for listening.

> >>

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

That's amazing and a huge accomplishment. You should be very, very proud of your ability to care for yourself.

Mimi

Subject: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort FoodTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, November 6, 2011, 8:45 AM

I appreciate the replies to this post. In fact, it gives me strength to know that there are others out there who hear and offer support. Your words and suggestions mean a lot to me, especially since I tend to be a loner. Thank you. I survived the intensity of the emotional pain without eating to it.

[Guest guest]

That's amazing and a huge accomplishment. You should be very, very proud of your ability to care for yourself.

Mimi

Subject: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort FoodTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, November 6, 2011, 8:45 AM

I appreciate the replies to this post. In fact, it gives me strength to know that there are others out there who hear and offer support. Your words and suggestions mean a lot to me, especially since I tend to be a loner. Thank you. I survived the intensity of the emotional pain without eating to it.

[Guest guest]

Amen to that, !!

Subject: Re: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort FoodTo: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Sunday, November 6, 2011, 11:44 AM

I just wanted to comment on the former husband that said no one but him would want you. What a nasty horrible person to say that to you, if that is the statement you are basing your worth on forget that. We have all said things in the heat of the moment and don't really consider how the other person will feel long term. I am sure there is a part of you that may believe that but I hope a larger part of you believes that is not true. You are single now and if you want to change that you can at any time. I truly believe that when you are ready the right person will come along and love you for who ever you are. Believe me that whole soul mate thing is a crock love long term takes work. 10 years from now you don't wake up next to that person and go wow he's so awesome everyday. No one is perfect and life can be hard so just cause he has

moved on and you think someone else has your life they don't. You can move on too and have a better life without him.

About 15 years ago my sons father married the woman of his dreams and I compared myself to her. She was thinner and prettier then me and of course had him. For years I tried to understand why we just could not make our relationship work, but in the end I did figure it out. A few years in to his marriage he got sick and was treated for cancer and then he seemed to be doing better. Well a couple of years later the cancer came back and he died. During that time his wife had gotten in huge fights with his family and threw them out of their home and was terrible to my son. My son told me that his father had been unhappy for awhile and if he would have lived he probably would have gotten a divorce. I realized that I could not have loved him the way that I did and gone threw that illness and been a good mother to my son. I probably would have shut down and lost it. By being removed

from the situation I could be there for my son and have some space to deal with the death of someone I had loved for 20 years. God did me a favor.

This is the year 2011 you can be single, married or in a relationship if you want to, you don't have to. No matter what your status that does not define your worth.

[Guest guest]

Amen to that, !!

Subject: Re: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort FoodTo: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Sunday, November 6, 2011, 11:44 AM

I just wanted to comment on the former husband that said no one but him would want you. What a nasty horrible person to say that to you, if that is the statement you are basing your worth on forget that. We have all said things in the heat of the moment and don't really consider how the other person will feel long term. I am sure there is a part of you that may believe that but I hope a larger part of you believes that is not true. You are single now and if you want to change that you can at any time. I truly believe that when you are ready the right person will come along and love you for who ever you are. Believe me that whole soul mate thing is a crock love long term takes work. 10 years from now you don't wake up next to that person and go wow he's so awesome everyday. No one is perfect and life can be hard so just cause he has

moved on and you think someone else has your life they don't. You can move on too and have a better life without him.

About 15 years ago my sons father married the woman of his dreams and I compared myself to her. She was thinner and prettier then me and of course had him. For years I tried to understand why we just could not make our relationship work, but in the end I did figure it out. A few years in to his marriage he got sick and was treated for cancer and then he seemed to be doing better. Well a couple of years later the cancer came back and he died. During that time his wife had gotten in huge fights with his family and threw them out of their home and was terrible to my son. My son told me that his father had been unhappy for awhile and if he would have lived he probably would have gotten a divorce. I realized that I could not have loved him the way that I did and gone threw that illness and been a good mother to my son. I probably would have shut down and lost it. By being removed

from the situation I could be there for my son and have some space to deal with the death of someone I had loved for 20 years. God did me a favor.

This is the year 2011 you can be single, married or in a relationship if you want to, you don't have to. No matter what your status that does not define your worth.

[Guest guest]

Amen to that, !!

Subject: Re: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort FoodTo: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Sunday, November 6, 2011, 11:44 AM

I just wanted to comment on the former husband that said no one but him would want you. What a nasty horrible person to say that to you, if that is the statement you are basing your worth on forget that. We have all said things in the heat of the moment and don't really consider how the other person will feel long term. I am sure there is a part of you that may believe that but I hope a larger part of you believes that is not true. You are single now and if you want to change that you can at any time. I truly believe that when you are ready the right person will come along and love you for who ever you are. Believe me that whole soul mate thing is a crock love long term takes work. 10 years from now you don't wake up next to that person and go wow he's so awesome everyday. No one is perfect and life can be hard so just cause he has

moved on and you think someone else has your life they don't. You can move on too and have a better life without him.

About 15 years ago my sons father married the woman of his dreams and I compared myself to her. She was thinner and prettier then me and of course had him. For years I tried to understand why we just could not make our relationship work, but in the end I did figure it out. A few years in to his marriage he got sick and was treated for cancer and then he seemed to be doing better. Well a couple of years later the cancer came back and he died. During that time his wife had gotten in huge fights with his family and threw them out of their home and was terrible to my son. My son told me that his father had been unhappy for awhile and if he would have lived he probably would have gotten a divorce. I realized that I could not have loved him the way that I did and gone threw that illness and been a good mother to my son. I probably would have shut down and lost it. By being removed

from the situation I could be there for my son and have some space to deal with the death of someone I had loved for 20 years. God did me a favor.

This is the year 2011 you can be single, married or in a relationship if you want to, you don't have to. No matter what your status that does not define your worth.

[Guest guest]

You know I think what other people say about us can be so insidious and damaging. We can even forget that this is only their (usually very biased) opinion and internalize it until it becomes our own self-perception. I have always thought of myself as inconsistent. Why? One of my elementary school teachers commented so on a report card 30 years ago. And I have let that one statement define me. And guess what? When you think of yourself as eternally inconsistent, you begin acting like it, which only reinforces the image. It's a vicious cycle. A boyfriend I had in grad school told me that I was "intimidated" by his intelligence and sense of humor. I immediately believed him and thought that I must be far below him in intelligence and sense of humor. Now I find that thought ludicrous, but back then it really affected the way I thought of myself. I think part

of self care is to disentangle our self image from these sorts of incidents and begin to think kindly of ourselves again.

Mimi

Subject: Re: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort FoodTo: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Sunday, November 6, 2011, 7:28 PM

Your welcome Sandy your words just sparked something in me. I used to believe what other people thought and said about me must be true. I would then keep repeating all of the negative things in my mind so I would no longer have any self esteem. Opinions change and things are said in the heat of the moment and can't be taken back. I have just started this process and hope to be able to just feel my feelings and not eat. Remember how telling your story you inspired me. So thank you!

[Guest guest]

You know I think what other people say about us can be so insidious and damaging. We can even forget that this is only their (usually very biased) opinion and internalize it until it becomes our own self-perception. I have always thought of myself as inconsistent. Why? One of my elementary school teachers commented so on a report card 30 years ago. And I have let that one statement define me. And guess what? When you think of yourself as eternally inconsistent, you begin acting like it, which only reinforces the image. It's a vicious cycle. A boyfriend I had in grad school told me that I was "intimidated" by his intelligence and sense of humor. I immediately believed him and thought that I must be far below him in intelligence and sense of humor. Now I find that thought ludicrous, but back then it really affected the way I thought of myself. I think part

of self care is to disentangle our self image from these sorts of incidents and begin to think kindly of ourselves again.

Mimi

Subject: Re: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort FoodTo: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Sunday, November 6, 2011, 7:28 PM

Your welcome Sandy your words just sparked something in me. I used to believe what other people thought and said about me must be true. I would then keep repeating all of the negative things in my mind so I would no longer have any self esteem. Opinions change and things are said in the heat of the moment and can't be taken back. I have just started this process and hope to be able to just feel my feelings and not eat. Remember how telling your story you inspired me. So thank you!

[Guest guest]

You know I think what other people say about us can be so insidious and damaging. We can even forget that this is only their (usually very biased) opinion and internalize it until it becomes our own self-perception. I have always thought of myself as inconsistent. Why? One of my elementary school teachers commented so on a report card 30 years ago. And I have let that one statement define me. And guess what? When you think of yourself as eternally inconsistent, you begin acting like it, which only reinforces the image. It's a vicious cycle. A boyfriend I had in grad school told me that I was "intimidated" by his intelligence and sense of humor. I immediately believed him and thought that I must be far below him in intelligence and sense of humor. Now I find that thought ludicrous, but back then it really affected the way I thought of myself. I think part

of self care is to disentangle our self image from these sorts of incidents and begin to think kindly of ourselves again.

Mimi

Subject: Re: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort FoodTo: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Sunday, November 6, 2011, 7:28 PM

Your welcome Sandy your words just sparked something in me. I used to believe what other people thought and said about me must be true. I would then keep repeating all of the negative things in my mind so I would no longer have any self esteem. Opinions change and things are said in the heat of the moment and can't be taken back. I have just started this process and hope to be able to just feel my feelings and not eat. Remember how telling your story you inspired me. So thank you!

[Guest guest]

You are so right Mimi, it starts out one thing and can turn into a lifetime of negative thoughts. Someone told me once that someone else opinion wasn't my business. I never really thought about it like that, but when you say something to someone you may think that is all you did. When we struggle with our self esteem we just pick out the parts that reenforce who we think we are. I lost my mother at a young age and felt that I can't live up to others standards so if I didn't do what others thought I should I would feel guilty and that I was a bad person.I have come to realize that I can't live to the standards of others because I will always fall short. People's opinions change good and bad If I am my true self and you dislike me I am fine with that. Thoughts are also not facts and we can always change your mind. My goal is to be kinder to myself as well as others. Sent from my iPad

You are so right. I should read this and all the other insightful replies about a hundred times.

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> Subject: Re: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort Food

> To: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >

> Date: Sunday, November 6, 2011, 7:28 PM

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> Your welcome Sandy your words just sparked something in me. I used to believe what other people thought and said about me must be true. I would then keep repeating all of the negative things in my mind so I would no longer have any self esteem. Opinions change and things are said in the heat of the moment and can't be taken back. I have just started this process and hope to be able to just feel my feelings and not eat. Remember how telling your story you inspired me. So thank you!

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[Guest guest]

You are so right Mimi, it starts out one thing and can turn into a lifetime of negative thoughts. Someone told me once that someone else opinion wasn't my business. I never really thought about it like that, but when you say something to someone you may think that is all you did. When we struggle with our self esteem we just pick out the parts that reenforce who we think we are. I lost my mother at a young age and felt that I can't live up to others standards so if I didn't do what others thought I should I would feel guilty and that I was a bad person.I have come to realize that I can't live to the standards of others because I will always fall short. People's opinions change good and bad If I am my true self and you dislike me I am fine with that. Thoughts are also not facts and we can always change your mind. My goal is to be kinder to myself as well as others. Sent from my iPad

You are so right. I should read this and all the other insightful replies about a hundred times.

>

>

>

> Subject: Re: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort Food

> To: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >

> Date: Sunday, November 6, 2011, 7:28 PM

>

>

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>

>

>

>

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> Your welcome Sandy your words just sparked something in me. I used to believe what other people thought and said about me must be true. I would then keep repeating all of the negative things in my mind so I would no longer have any self esteem. Opinions change and things are said in the heat of the moment and can't be taken back. I have just started this process and hope to be able to just feel my feelings and not eat. Remember how telling your story you inspired me. So thank you!

>

>

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>

[Guest guest]

You are so right Mimi, it starts out one thing and can turn into a lifetime of negative thoughts. Someone told me once that someone else opinion wasn't my business. I never really thought about it like that, but when you say something to someone you may think that is all you did. When we struggle with our self esteem we just pick out the parts that reenforce who we think we are. I lost my mother at a young age and felt that I can't live up to others standards so if I didn't do what others thought I should I would feel guilty and that I was a bad person.I have come to realize that I can't live to the standards of others because I will always fall short. People's opinions change good and bad If I am my true self and you dislike me I am fine with that. Thoughts are also not facts and we can always change your mind. My goal is to be kinder to myself as well as others. Sent from my iPad

You are so right. I should read this and all the other insightful replies about a hundred times.

>

>

>

> Subject: Re: Re: Desperately Wanting Comfort Food

> To: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >

> Date: Sunday, November 6, 2011, 7:28 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Your welcome Sandy your words just sparked something in me. I used to believe what other people thought and said about me must be true. I would then keep repeating all of the negative things in my mind so I would no longer have any self esteem. Opinions change and things are said in the heat of the moment and can't be taken back. I have just started this process and hope to be able to just feel my feelings and not eat. Remember how telling your story you inspired me. So thank you!

>

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>

[Guest guest]

"People's opinions change good and bad If I am my true self and you dislike me I am fine with that."

And this mirrors some of the struggles we go through with IE. We have to be fine with the fact that when we are intuitive about our eating (being our true selves), some people might not like it. We are going against the grain that says we need a doctor, a chemist, a nutritionist, a trainer, and a life coach to tell us what we should eat. We are going against the prevalent idea that we are too stupid, impulsive, willful, or weak to decide when we are hungry and than to eat what we are hungry for. It's not easy to rebel against this idea when it has had a hold on us for so long.

Mimi

[Guest guest]

"People's opinions change good and bad If I am my true self and you dislike me I am fine with that."

And this mirrors some of the struggles we go through with IE. We have to be fine with the fact that when we are intuitive about our eating (being our true selves), some people might not like it. We are going against the grain that says we need a doctor, a chemist, a nutritionist, a trainer, and a life coach to tell us what we should eat. We are going against the prevalent idea that we are too stupid, impulsive, willful, or weak to decide when we are hungry and than to eat what we are hungry for. It's not easy to rebel against this idea when it has had a hold on us for so long.

Mimi

[Guest guest]

"People's opinions change good and bad If I am my true self and you dislike me I am fine with that."

And this mirrors some of the struggles we go through with IE. We have to be fine with the fact that when we are intuitive about our eating (being our true selves), some people might not like it. We are going against the grain that says we need a doctor, a chemist, a nutritionist, a trainer, and a life coach to tell us what we should eat. We are going against the prevalent idea that we are too stupid, impulsive, willful, or weak to decide when we are hungry and than to eat what we are hungry for. It's not easy to rebel against this idea when it has had a hold on us for so long.

Mimi