Nada Has Learned to Text

[Guest guest]

Dear all, it's amazing how much discomfort, anxiety and fear just a few little

text messages can cause. But I have had an almost completely ruined Christmas,

and it's absolutely awful.

A few weeks ago my nada discovered I had been responding to my sister's text

messages, and so she got a new phone and learned how to text, herself. Though

for my own good I've made no formal declaration, I have not seen my nada in

person or spoken with her on the phone in about three years. My nada's abuse is

of the intimate and inisidious, yet pervasively extreme variety, and believe

me--three years is NOT enough distance, even yet.

I did some research, made some effort to discover how to block her new phone

number, but when I saw the only way to block texts and calls from a number

costed $5 month, I procrastinated the service. That was a BAD MOVE. I knew

better.

First there was a series of invasive texts from nada's new number, before I knew

it was her yet--and I STUPIDLY texted asking who it was (thinking it was a

cousin) and got 'this is your MOTHER'...and a serious of invasive, manipulative

messages about bodies and bodily functions etc. (Remember, my nada is a creepy

one with a compulsive need to harm by molestation any way she can pull it off.)

I did not respond to any of the texts, just deleted them, nor did I respond to

any emails. I do not have an ongoing relationship with nada; I do not engage in

two way communications with her of any kind; her emails are set to go to junk.

So it was extremely creepy of her to act like we were buddy buddies, as if we've

been in touch these few years. And of course it was invasive and traumatic and

painful to see the inappropriate comments. In fact it took me several hours of

tears and trauma purges, and I drank too much, too many times, and gained

weight.

Then there was a deluge of 'blocked' calls with no message left, right around

the family's scheduled Christmas events. I'm sure it was Nada; she saw that I

was texting my sister and so she thought this meant she could get me to talk to

her. She was also trying to have contact with me so she could attempt to

pressure me to come to Christmas. And, she had traction, for although she had

tricked me into it, she had GOT a response from my via text--and that was enough

for her. She went on a field day. She had something from my phone! She wasn't

giving up, now, and how. So yeah. Around 20 'blocked' calls.

I SHOULD HAVE bought the service. I tried just now but I can't make the changes

online, I have to wait until stupid business hours. I am desperate to have nada

OUT of phone access. I even had a terrible nightmare that a huge cockroach was

crawling on my phone, and I smashed it all over the keypad.

I am leading up here to Christmas, which was the worst. Around six or so junk

emails appeared--I deleted them without looking, but I'm sure they were from

nada. But, worse, MUCH worse, she went on a texting field day. She sent around

three or four texts. Most of them I was able to unfocus my eyes on and delete

without reading, but a couple of them I did see. They were typical nada

manipulations and invasions, and they were SO weird in that they acted again

like we have been in regular touch all this time, like nothing is wrong. Oh,

come get your presents! WTF? I have not been to Christmas in five years!

These texts, they felt particularly invasive and attacking to me. Nada is

giddy--she got CONTROL of communication. She uses the phrase 'get to him/her' a

lot--meaning she gets a rise when she really disturbs someone, she'll say,

giddily, 'I think I got to your father', for example, when she finds a real

zinger. I know she is giddily thinking she 'got' to me by finding a way to

force me to look at her communications.

Tomorrow she is SO getting blocked but I am freaked out I can't do it sooner. I

talked to a pillow as nada and told her she does NOT get to contact me whenever

she wants--but I'm still freaked. To be honest, it was terrifying. Nada won

that round. She took control of the communication for several weeks, and during

those weeks she got to try and impose ALL her reality on me--that she is

panicked and abandoned and I am a 'bad' and 'dirty' girl and a terrible cruel

person for 'leaving' her, and the whole family thinks so. I've had to lay

really low and not be in contact at ALL with the rest of the family this

Christmas, because nada is lurking and using them and is after me, triangulating

right now (several have approached me and tried to pressure me to come).

I'm sorry for the length here. It is extremely disturbing to me. I've got an

entire immediate AND extended family that completely denies my nada molested and

tortured me my whole life, and also completely denies that my ex-husband did

indeed get violent and threatening with me, and they refuse to take any active

steps to protect me from nada OR the ex. They have been this way my whole life.

The only happiness and peace and success I have ever known, is far, far away

from them. And yet they think they can pressure me to attend family events?

One weird uncle sent an email saying 'family is everything'. I beg to differ.

Physical safety, that's what's everything.

God. Monday cannot come soon enough!!!

--Charlie