Well Annie, you were right, and I need advice from as many people as possible

[Guest guest]

Well Annie, you were right, no matter what I did, my nada would shriek at me and

tell me that I had " ruined the holiday. "

I went home for thanksgiving, and when I woke up yesterday morning, I could

already hear her starting in my father. No matter what the poor man did, it was

not good enough. He did everything she ordered him to do to help her with the

turkey, but all she did was call him " stupid " and " an idiot " and my personal

(sarcasm) favorite " C*ck Sucker. " I tried my best to stay out of her way. I

did all the cleaning she asked me to do (cleaning that she NEVER does, because

she feels that it is our duty for us to wait on her) but that still wasnt

enough. I was in the laundry room, and the washing machine lid fell down and

made a huge slaming noise (it was an accident, it happens). She began to scream

at me and say things like " NICE!!! YOU MORON! " And I simply said back to her

" Mom, it was an accident. " She began to scream: " You never know how to take a

joke, you have NO sense of humor. Let's not have a duplicate of last year, were

you RUINED thanksgiving. " (Apparently, I ruined it last year too.)

So, as usual, my father and I spent all day walking on egg shells. Nothing we

did was right or good enough. Once all the work was over, we sat down to watch

a movie while we waited for the Turkey to cook. My father made everyone a

cocktail, and as my mother brought the glass to her lips, she said to me: " This

is the only way I can ever deal with you, is to get drunk. " Mind you, she has

never been drunk in front of me, so this was only said to hurt me. My fiance

came over and we had paused the movie. My nada, my fiance and I were sitting

and talking about the thanksgiving day parade while my father was in the

kitchen. We were talking about one of the floats that my fiance and I really

liked and she gave us the dirtiest look and said to us: " The two of you are so

f*cking lame. " She was NOT laughing. She said this to hurt us.

Now, I understand that what I did next was not the best way to handle the

situation. But, at that moment I was trying to keep the mood light because my

poor fiance's feelings were hurt (his parents dont talk to him like that). I

said back: " You're lame. " I was laughing and trying to keep the mood light. I

had three cocktails at this point (and I am not a lightweight drunk) and I was

not even buzzed, and she said to me: " You're a drunk. "

Now, before I tell this next part, I have to explain something to you. To my

mother, there is nothing funnier in the world then calling me a " Wh*re " a

" bi*ch " , etc. my mother has called me these things numerous times, claiming

they were a joke. She calls my FRIENDS these things to their faces, and has

even called my fiance these things. She also calls my father these things.

So, I jokingly said: : " Oh! You whore!. " As soon as it came out of my mouth, I

realized what I had done, I had given her a great excuse to start a fight. She

said: " Real nice, you drunk, happy thanksgiving. "

From there, I tried to apologize and she flew off at me. She said: " You should

not drink! You are an alcoholic! You have a problem! " Believe me, I am not an

alcoholic, I do not have a problem with alcohol in the least.

We had dinner, and she ignored me the whole time, only looking or talking to my

father or my fiance. My fiance left, and both of my parents were falling asleep

in front of the tv. Before I went up to bed, I asked: " What can I do to help

out in the kitchen? " My nada simply said " Nothing, you dont know how to do

anything. "

As I was walking up the stairs, my nada (at this point, it was 11 p.m., only an

hour left on thanksgiving) said to my father: " Not only does she refuse to help

me out in the kitchen, she calls me a whore in my own house on thanksgiving! "

Thats when it blew up. I said " You have called me those things on a daily

basis. " At first, she denied it, and my father said, " I have heard you say

those things to her!. " She said: " but not on a holiday. " Thats when my father

intervened and took my side. My nada told me that I was no good and that my

fiance would leave me soon (p.s. my fiance almost burst out laughing when I

called her that, bc he knows how she treats me), so I would be all on my own.

She accused me of thinking that since I was engaged, I felt like I could dump

her and my father. I have never thought that. My poor cat, who hates my nada

anyway, was hyperventalting and trying to crawl up my leg. She began to accuse

my father of cheating on her. My dad and I went upstairs and We talked. I

decided that it was time for me to leave and go back to my apartment. After

all, it just would have been the same old stuff. So, I packed my things and

left.

I said goodbye to my mother before i did leave, and at this point, she had

locked herself in the bathroom (one of her favorite moves). I pulled out of the

garage, and she came outside and stood out on the front poarch, screaming that i

give back the gifts she had given me if I was " really leaving. " I gave her back

the a paper advent calander and the bottle of soap she gave me. As I was

pulling out of the drive way, i heard her say to my father: " You couldnt just

stay out of it could you, you F*c ker. " I left, and as I pulled out, she told

me " Once agian, you ruined thanksgiving. " I told her: " I tried to make it right,

you wouldnt let me. " She said: " The ramifications of this will be felt for a

long time. " and my father was blamed for me leaving.

I am sorry for writing a book, but I need some advice, did i do the right thing?

I just couldnt be her punching bag anymore. Had I stayed, we would have been

fighting until 4 a.m. and we would have fought today too. If she had said to

me " Come back and lets work this out. " I would have. I didnt want to leave,

but I felt like I had no choice.