CONSTANTLY DEFENDING OURSELVES?

[Guest guest]

Anyone else find that with our BPD parents/relatives, you are continually

defending yourself? Over the holidays, I called fada to touch base on

what was going on for their 'holidays'........within seconds, I found myself

defending myself about 'whatever'.............. Finally, I said " dad,

every time I talk to you, suddenly I am defending myself about something or

other! Do you think we could have a conversation without placing judgement,

questions about what you think I should be doing or not doing.......just be

nice to each other???? I told him I hesitate even calling him, ever,

because I have grown to know how unpleasant the conversation will be "

Shock came next. He apologized, said " case closed " , and changed the

subject to something pleasant. Granted, I'll probably have to do this each

time

we speak, but it did turn the conversation around.

Laurie