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Re: Neighbors, Vandals, KO Reaction

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Posted
Posted

Replying to my own post here:

More information to clarify a few things. DD is an adult who lives in our

guest house, DH and I are both work at home writers, very quiet by nature.

There is nobody in our life who would want to harass us by doing something

juvenile to our yard, which is why we're certain it's the psycho neighbors.

And as for my KO situation, NADA is a high-functioning bpd who is in a

nursing home with dementia. We couldn't bring her here for any holidays this

year, and on Christmas day when we visited she did not know that DD was her

granddaughter - she knew she knew her, but couldn't figure out exactly how,

which was depressing in and of itself.

In a message dated 1/2/2011 6:16:21 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

darkalleye@... writes:

Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief -

HA! -

we all say that, right? :-)

I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the

neighborhood

is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with

the

house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The

neighboring

house is also built to the edge so they are close.

The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one

close to

us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally

snapped

and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

to sleep.

Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear

of

course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

(um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that

she

starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

the

doors.

So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have

at

this time of year..

Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming

and

yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right

by

the mailbox.

So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we

figured

it would be the end of it.

Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

many complaints.

The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

" talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know

you

are good people, " etc.

Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez.

This

woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending

but we

are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

it is a must.

We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

she

had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

either.

So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I

feel

violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a

party for

a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint.

The cop

came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

(The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

)

The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

older

couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

and place.

I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and

trying

to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

Any insight will be appreciated.

Em

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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Posted
Posted

Replying to my own post here:

More information to clarify a few things. DD is an adult who lives in our

guest house, DH and I are both work at home writers, very quiet by nature.

There is nobody in our life who would want to harass us by doing something

juvenile to our yard, which is why we're certain it's the psycho neighbors.

And as for my KO situation, NADA is a high-functioning bpd who is in a

nursing home with dementia. We couldn't bring her here for any holidays this

year, and on Christmas day when we visited she did not know that DD was her

granddaughter - she knew she knew her, but couldn't figure out exactly how,

which was depressing in and of itself.

In a message dated 1/2/2011 6:16:21 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

darkalleye@... writes:

Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief -

HA! -

we all say that, right? :-)

I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the

neighborhood

is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with

the

house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The

neighboring

house is also built to the edge so they are close.

The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one

close to

us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally

snapped

and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

to sleep.

Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear

of

course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

(um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that

she

starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

the

doors.

So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have

at

this time of year..

Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming

and

yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right

by

the mailbox.

So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we

figured

it would be the end of it.

Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

many complaints.

The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

" talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know

you

are good people, " etc.

Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez.

This

woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending

but we

are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

it is a must.

We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

she

had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

either.

So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I

feel

violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a

party for

a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint.

The cop

came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

(The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

)

The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

older

couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

and place.

I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and

trying

to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

Any insight will be appreciated.

Em

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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Posted
Posted

I know you don't want to hear this (I am going through a similar situation with

a neighbor who gets drunk and blasts music), but call the police EVERY time they

make too much noise and start documenting each time and what you do, if you talk

to the landlord, the police, etc. Send them a certified letter explaining that

if they persist in this behavior, you will sue them under nuisance laws, which

means that every month they will have to pay you money for their nuisance

behavior that disturbs the peace.

You are not reacting as KO here. You are reacting as home owner and someone who

works very hard to build a peaceful, warm home. You are completely justified to

report them every time. It might be expensive, but installing a video

surveillance system might be worth it, if not just to prove in court that they

are behind this behavior. Next time they have a screaming fit, just audio record

it. If they are continually disturbing the peace, the landlord can begin a

procedure to evict them too. You can also report them to various City

departments for breaking noise ordinances. Visit the local police branch and ask

them to speak to your neighbors and have them labeled a nuisance or party house.

The police will come speak with them, then upon every subsequent report about

that house, they will be cited/ticketed for disturbing the peace. That's the

situation I'm in right now with some very rude and noisy neighbors.

Hope you have success resolving it!

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief - HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one close

to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez. This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending but

we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a party

for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint. The

cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

I know you don't want to hear this (I am going through a similar situation with

a neighbor who gets drunk and blasts music), but call the police EVERY time they

make too much noise and start documenting each time and what you do, if you talk

to the landlord, the police, etc. Send them a certified letter explaining that

if they persist in this behavior, you will sue them under nuisance laws, which

means that every month they will have to pay you money for their nuisance

behavior that disturbs the peace.

You are not reacting as KO here. You are reacting as home owner and someone who

works very hard to build a peaceful, warm home. You are completely justified to

report them every time. It might be expensive, but installing a video

surveillance system might be worth it, if not just to prove in court that they

are behind this behavior. Next time they have a screaming fit, just audio record

it. If they are continually disturbing the peace, the landlord can begin a

procedure to evict them too. You can also report them to various City

departments for breaking noise ordinances. Visit the local police branch and ask

them to speak to your neighbors and have them labeled a nuisance or party house.

The police will come speak with them, then upon every subsequent report about

that house, they will be cited/ticketed for disturbing the peace. That's the

situation I'm in right now with some very rude and noisy neighbors.

Hope you have success resolving it!

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief - HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one close

to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez. This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending but

we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a party

for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint. The

cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

I'm usually in here asking questions because I don't have many answers regarding

personality disorders. But I can relate to how you must feel about this. We've

been in our home for 26 years, we live on a corner lot in town two blocks from

the high school, which means we have teens passing by all the time and have had

our share of vandalism and petty theft and it leaves anyone feeling very

vulnerable and victimized, which is very unpleasant to most people but as a KO I

think I'm more unnerved by it than my husband.

Years ago we had a teenage girl down the block do some babysitting for us. I

needed to confront her on her behavior and afterwards we found the F Bomb spray

painted on my husband's truck which was always parked outside. Long story

short, teenage and twenty something females can be very vindictive when

confronted, and this generation is worse than any other for they seem to have a

heightened sense of entitlement about themselves.

Your situation sucks, there's no denying that. But while reading your story,

this phrase came to mind: " Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. " So

for whatever its worth, that's is my suggestion to you.

If you try to befriend these neighbors, they'll see you in a new light and be

more willing to cooperate. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Perhaps you could pay them a friendly visit, suggest you've all gotten off on

the wrong foot and would like to start over. Bring a token offering of baked

goods and tell them what a cute cat they have. The point is to remove yourself

as their adversary in a way that will make your life easier in the long run.

Kill them with kindness and see what results. What have you got to lose?

K

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief - HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one close

to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez. This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending but

we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a party

for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint. The

cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

I'm usually in here asking questions because I don't have many answers regarding

personality disorders. But I can relate to how you must feel about this. We've

been in our home for 26 years, we live on a corner lot in town two blocks from

the high school, which means we have teens passing by all the time and have had

our share of vandalism and petty theft and it leaves anyone feeling very

vulnerable and victimized, which is very unpleasant to most people but as a KO I

think I'm more unnerved by it than my husband.

Years ago we had a teenage girl down the block do some babysitting for us. I

needed to confront her on her behavior and afterwards we found the F Bomb spray

painted on my husband's truck which was always parked outside. Long story

short, teenage and twenty something females can be very vindictive when

confronted, and this generation is worse than any other for they seem to have a

heightened sense of entitlement about themselves.

Your situation sucks, there's no denying that. But while reading your story,

this phrase came to mind: " Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. " So

for whatever its worth, that's is my suggestion to you.

If you try to befriend these neighbors, they'll see you in a new light and be

more willing to cooperate. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Perhaps you could pay them a friendly visit, suggest you've all gotten off on

the wrong foot and would like to start over. Bring a token offering of baked

goods and tell them what a cute cat they have. The point is to remove yourself

as their adversary in a way that will make your life easier in the long run.

Kill them with kindness and see what results. What have you got to lose?

K

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief - HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one close

to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez. This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending but

we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a party

for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint. The

cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

I would be beside myself with frustration and anger if neighbors were pulling

that kind of crap with me. Good Lord.

No, I don't think you are over-reacting and I encourage you to take the steps

you need to take to collect hard evidence in the form of visual and audio

recordings of their trespassing on your property, their vandalism of your

property, their dumping their garbage on public streets/your private property,

their noise curfew violations, etc., so you can report them to the police, get

them fined or arrested, which will also help their landlord evict them.

Good riddance!

-Annie

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief - HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one close

to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez. This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending but

we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a party

for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint. The

cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

Thanks, Annie. It helps to feel that I'm not just overreacting to the

noise, etc. Right now as I type this at 1:27 a.m. we have just had to shut all

the windows on that side of the house due to the stereo bass boom boom boom

- it woke up my poor husband. He said L, the landlord-neighbor must hear

it. I said I suspect she's trying to ignore it.

For whatever reason I am extremely noise sensitive too, which doesn't help

matters. It's making me miserable. I just told hubby we shouldn't have to

live like this - it's making me really furious. I had a migraine this

morning and I feel certain that the trigger was stress from their screaming

episode last night as it got my adrenalin pumping so.

I've been mulling it over since my original post, and I believe that one

component of my upset is also L's reaction to the vandalism - she more or

less laughed at it, said it was real strange, etc., but didn't display the

kind of outrage I would have liked to see. Regardless of who did it, if

someone did that to her I would have been very angry on her behalf and she

would

have known it. She almost acted like it wasn't THAT big of a deal. Maybe I

am just supersensitive right now, maybe not.

I just put on Facebook that I hope someone will bail me out if I get

arrested for smashing the neighbor's stereo - ha ha. What a tempting thought

that is. But I won't do it. Can't really call the cops for booming bass,

either, I suppose.

What I may do is bring DD's digital recorder up to the house and start

recording the noise that isn't cop-call worthy.

Em

In a message dated 1/2/2011 7:13:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

anuria-67854@... writes:

I would be beside myself with frustration and anger if neighbors were

pulling that kind of crap with me. Good Lord.

No, I don't think you are over-reacting and I encourage you to take the

steps you need to take to collect hard evidence in the form of visual and

audio recordings of their trespassing on your property, their vandalism of

your property, their dumping their garbage on public streets/your private

property, their noise curfew violations, etc., so you can report them to the

police, get them fined or arrested, which will also help their landlord evict

them.

Good riddance!

-Annie

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief -

HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the

neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot,

with the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and

a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The

neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one

close to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they

moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally

snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were

trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage

drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear

of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the

other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear

it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much

that she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell.

Slam the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have

at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming

and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We

came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped

a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house,

right by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we

figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would

do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the

pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told

us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting

so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for

us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know

you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez.

This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me

a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be

spending but we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house

that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there

is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment

about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us,

but she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it

has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I

feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a

party for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove

it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise

complaint. The cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to

worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all

said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about

it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I

opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the

male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and

the older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but

despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is

due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and

trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

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Posted
Posted

Thanks, Annie. It helps to feel that I'm not just overreacting to the

noise, etc. Right now as I type this at 1:27 a.m. we have just had to shut all

the windows on that side of the house due to the stereo bass boom boom boom

- it woke up my poor husband. He said L, the landlord-neighbor must hear

it. I said I suspect she's trying to ignore it.

For whatever reason I am extremely noise sensitive too, which doesn't help

matters. It's making me miserable. I just told hubby we shouldn't have to

live like this - it's making me really furious. I had a migraine this

morning and I feel certain that the trigger was stress from their screaming

episode last night as it got my adrenalin pumping so.

I've been mulling it over since my original post, and I believe that one

component of my upset is also L's reaction to the vandalism - she more or

less laughed at it, said it was real strange, etc., but didn't display the

kind of outrage I would have liked to see. Regardless of who did it, if

someone did that to her I would have been very angry on her behalf and she

would

have known it. She almost acted like it wasn't THAT big of a deal. Maybe I

am just supersensitive right now, maybe not.

I just put on Facebook that I hope someone will bail me out if I get

arrested for smashing the neighbor's stereo - ha ha. What a tempting thought

that is. But I won't do it. Can't really call the cops for booming bass,

either, I suppose.

What I may do is bring DD's digital recorder up to the house and start

recording the noise that isn't cop-call worthy.

Em

In a message dated 1/2/2011 7:13:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

anuria-67854@... writes:

I would be beside myself with frustration and anger if neighbors were

pulling that kind of crap with me. Good Lord.

No, I don't think you are over-reacting and I encourage you to take the

steps you need to take to collect hard evidence in the form of visual and

audio recordings of their trespassing on your property, their vandalism of

your property, their dumping their garbage on public streets/your private

property, their noise curfew violations, etc., so you can report them to the

police, get them fined or arrested, which will also help their landlord evict

them.

Good riddance!

-Annie

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief -

HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the

neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot,

with the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and

a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The

neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one

close to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they

moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally

snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were

trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage

drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear

of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the

other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear

it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much

that she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell.

Slam the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have

at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming

and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We

came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped

a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house,

right by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we

figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would

do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the

pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told

us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting

so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for

us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know

you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez.

This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me

a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be

spending but we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house

that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there

is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment

about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us,

but she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it

has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I

feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a

party for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove

it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise

complaint. The cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to

worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all

said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about

it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I

opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the

male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and

the older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but

despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is

due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and

trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

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Posted
Posted

You're sure right about the sense of entitlement - this bunch seems to

think they are the only people living on the block. Well, actually, the boy is

ok, he is a partier but very polite, always waves at us and stops to say

hello. We have helped him charge his car battery and he seems ok. It's the

psycho girl that is trouble with a capital T.

Because the forum is a place where we can openly write our feelings, I have

to say that my reaction to your suggestion of trying to befriend her was a

visceral feeling of nausea.:-) Sorry.

Probably because we have felt such hostility from her from the day and hour

they moved in. And it appears they are taking their anger about noise

complaints out on us, even though we never actually complained to L, the

landlord-neighbor, until after she'd told us about the others. The only contact

we had with the girls was the night I yelled, and the place where I was

standing meant it could have been me, or their landlord doing the yelling, so

they can't know for sure who it was.

We really have tolerated much more than we should have. If L was a regular

landlord and not a (usually) good neighbor who has become a friend, we

would have kicked up a major fuss in a major way a long time ago.

I did ask her point blank if she had told them multiple neighbors were

complaining as I wanted to make certain she hadn't said something that gave

them the idea it was only us. She said she had.

Anyway, I see that in a later post you have agreed with another poster that

I should let the cops handle it.

I am sorry you had your own teenage vandal troubles. It's horrible, isn't

it?

Em

In a message dated 1/2/2011 6:41:36 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

krn1957@... writes:

I'm usually in here asking questions because I don't have many answers

regarding personality disorders. But I can relate to how you must feel about

this. We've been in our home for 26 years, we live on a corner lot in town

two blocks from the high school, which means we have teens passing by all the

time and have had our share of vandalism and petty theft and it leaves

anyone feeling very vulnerable and victimized, which is very unpleasant to

most people but as a KO I think I'm more unnerved by it than my husband.

Years ago we had a teenage girl down the block do some babysitting for us.

I needed to confront her on her behavior and afterwards we found the F

Bomb spray painted on my husband's truck which was always parked outside. Long

story short, teenage and twenty something females can be very vindictive

when confronted, and this generation is worse than any other for they seem

to have a heightened sense of entitlement about themselves.

Your situation sucks, there's no denying that. But while reading your

story, this phrase came to mind: " Keep your friends close and your enemies

closer. " So for whatever its worth, that's is my suggestion to you.

If you try to befriend these neighbors, they'll see you in a new light and

be more willing to cooperate. You catch more flies with honey than with

vinegar. Perhaps you could pay them a friendly visit, suggest you've all

gotten off on the wrong foot and would like to start over. Bring a token

offering of baked goods and tell them what a cute cat they have. The point is

to

remove yourself as their adversary in a way that will make your life easier

in the long run.

Kill them with kindness and see what results. What have you got to lose?

K

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief -

HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the

neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot,

with the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and

a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The

neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one

close to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they

moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally

snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were

trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage

drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear

of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the

other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear

it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much

that she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell.

Slam the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have

at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming

and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We

came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped

a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house,

right by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we

figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would

do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the

pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told

us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting

so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for

us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know

you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez.

This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me

a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be

spending but we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house

that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there

is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment

about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us,

but she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it

has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I

feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a

party for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove

it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise

complaint. The cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to

worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all

said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about

it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I

opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the

male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and

the older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but

despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is

due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and

trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

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Share on other sites
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Posted
Posted

You're sure right about the sense of entitlement - this bunch seems to

think they are the only people living on the block. Well, actually, the boy is

ok, he is a partier but very polite, always waves at us and stops to say

hello. We have helped him charge his car battery and he seems ok. It's the

psycho girl that is trouble with a capital T.

Because the forum is a place where we can openly write our feelings, I have

to say that my reaction to your suggestion of trying to befriend her was a

visceral feeling of nausea.:-) Sorry.

Probably because we have felt such hostility from her from the day and hour

they moved in. And it appears they are taking their anger about noise

complaints out on us, even though we never actually complained to L, the

landlord-neighbor, until after she'd told us about the others. The only contact

we had with the girls was the night I yelled, and the place where I was

standing meant it could have been me, or their landlord doing the yelling, so

they can't know for sure who it was.

We really have tolerated much more than we should have. If L was a regular

landlord and not a (usually) good neighbor who has become a friend, we

would have kicked up a major fuss in a major way a long time ago.

I did ask her point blank if she had told them multiple neighbors were

complaining as I wanted to make certain she hadn't said something that gave

them the idea it was only us. She said she had.

Anyway, I see that in a later post you have agreed with another poster that

I should let the cops handle it.

I am sorry you had your own teenage vandal troubles. It's horrible, isn't

it?

Em

In a message dated 1/2/2011 6:41:36 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

krn1957@... writes:

I'm usually in here asking questions because I don't have many answers

regarding personality disorders. But I can relate to how you must feel about

this. We've been in our home for 26 years, we live on a corner lot in town

two blocks from the high school, which means we have teens passing by all the

time and have had our share of vandalism and petty theft and it leaves

anyone feeling very vulnerable and victimized, which is very unpleasant to

most people but as a KO I think I'm more unnerved by it than my husband.

Years ago we had a teenage girl down the block do some babysitting for us.

I needed to confront her on her behavior and afterwards we found the F

Bomb spray painted on my husband's truck which was always parked outside. Long

story short, teenage and twenty something females can be very vindictive

when confronted, and this generation is worse than any other for they seem

to have a heightened sense of entitlement about themselves.

Your situation sucks, there's no denying that. But while reading your

story, this phrase came to mind: " Keep your friends close and your enemies

closer. " So for whatever its worth, that's is my suggestion to you.

If you try to befriend these neighbors, they'll see you in a new light and

be more willing to cooperate. You catch more flies with honey than with

vinegar. Perhaps you could pay them a friendly visit, suggest you've all

gotten off on the wrong foot and would like to start over. Bring a token

offering of baked goods and tell them what a cute cat they have. The point is

to

remove yourself as their adversary in a way that will make your life easier

in the long run.

Kill them with kindness and see what results. What have you got to lose?

K

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief -

HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the

neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot,

with the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and

a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The

neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one

close to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they

moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally

snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were

trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage

drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear

of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the

other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear

it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much

that she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell.

Slam the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have

at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming

and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We

came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped

a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house,

right by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we

figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would

do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the

pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told

us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting

so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for

us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know

you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez.

This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me

a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be

spending but we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house

that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there

is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment

about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us,

but she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it

has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I

feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a

party for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove

it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise

complaint. The cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to

worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all

said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about

it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I

opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the

male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and

the older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but

despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is

due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and

trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

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Posted
Posted

AFB,

Yup, I agree. I did decide last week that the next time they have one of

their roommate fights I am going to call the cops and tell them there's a

domestic going on and it sounds like someone is being killed or something.

These young people are incredibly stupid. Their landlord lives in their

backyard. She has told them repeatedly to be quiet, and no underage drinking,

etc., yet they keep it up. Apparently a couple days before Christmas she

had to kick out a bunch from their patio late at night - we had our windows

closed and heat on due to a cold snap and for once didn't hear them.

But on the other hand when I heard her talking to them I felt she wasn't

being hard-nosed enough. If it were me, and they were my tenants, at this

point in time they would have received a certified letter telling them that

they had violated their lease with the illegal activity and that if the noise

violations continued they could expect to be evicted.

Of course I wouldn't have rented a two bedroom house in a quiet

neighborhood to three 18-year-olds, either, ha ha.

Well, let's hope they go to bed soon.

Em

In a message dated 1/2/2011 9:08:08 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

awayfromborderland@... writes:

Hi there. In my opinion, this is way beyond what you should be trying to

handle--it's time to call the police. That's what they're there for. Years

ago, when I first moved to Los Angeles, a savvy neighbor advised me to never

handle issues with neighbors by myself and it was some of the best advice I

ever got. When you explain a situation to police, you have every right to

request anonymity, so the neighbors won't directly blame you. Police also

keep a written record of the problem, so there's a history if it escalates.

I never put up with noisy neighbors or any kind of shit like that, pardon

my French. I pick up the phone, call in the cops, and it gets handled. In

some situations, people are very resistant to change. So I call once, twice,

three times, ten if need be, but at that point, the cops are pretty

motivated to shut that behavior down, and they start taking names and issuing

warnings or arrests. Works like a charm.

Good luck, and start dialin'.

AFB

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief -

HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the

neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot,

with the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and

a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The

neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one

close to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they

moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally

snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were

trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage

drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear

of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the

other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear

it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much

that she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell.

Slam the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have

at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming

and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We

came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped

a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house,

right by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we

figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would

do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the

pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told

us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting

so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for

us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know

you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez.

This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me

a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be

spending but we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house

that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there

is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment

about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us,

but she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it

has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I

feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a

party for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove

it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise

complaint. The cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to

worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all

said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about

it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I

opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the

male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and

the older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but

despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is

due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and

trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

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Share on other sites
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Posted
Posted

AFB,

Yup, I agree. I did decide last week that the next time they have one of

their roommate fights I am going to call the cops and tell them there's a

domestic going on and it sounds like someone is being killed or something.

These young people are incredibly stupid. Their landlord lives in their

backyard. She has told them repeatedly to be quiet, and no underage drinking,

etc., yet they keep it up. Apparently a couple days before Christmas she

had to kick out a bunch from their patio late at night - we had our windows

closed and heat on due to a cold snap and for once didn't hear them.

But on the other hand when I heard her talking to them I felt she wasn't

being hard-nosed enough. If it were me, and they were my tenants, at this

point in time they would have received a certified letter telling them that

they had violated their lease with the illegal activity and that if the noise

violations continued they could expect to be evicted.

Of course I wouldn't have rented a two bedroom house in a quiet

neighborhood to three 18-year-olds, either, ha ha.

Well, let's hope they go to bed soon.

Em

In a message dated 1/2/2011 9:08:08 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

awayfromborderland@... writes:

Hi there. In my opinion, this is way beyond what you should be trying to

handle--it's time to call the police. That's what they're there for. Years

ago, when I first moved to Los Angeles, a savvy neighbor advised me to never

handle issues with neighbors by myself and it was some of the best advice I

ever got. When you explain a situation to police, you have every right to

request anonymity, so the neighbors won't directly blame you. Police also

keep a written record of the problem, so there's a history if it escalates.

I never put up with noisy neighbors or any kind of shit like that, pardon

my French. I pick up the phone, call in the cops, and it gets handled. In

some situations, people are very resistant to change. So I call once, twice,

three times, ten if need be, but at that point, the cops are pretty

motivated to shut that behavior down, and they start taking names and issuing

warnings or arrests. Works like a charm.

Good luck, and start dialin'.

AFB

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief -

HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the

neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot,

with the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and

a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The

neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one

close to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they

moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally

snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were

trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage

drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear

of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the

other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear

it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much

that she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell.

Slam the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have

at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming

and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We

came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped

a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house,

right by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we

figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would

do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the

pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told

us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting

so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for

us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know

you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez.

This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me

a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be

spending but we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house

that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there

is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment

about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us,

but she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it

has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I

feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a

party for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove

it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise

complaint. The cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to

worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all

said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about

it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I

opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the

male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and

the older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but

despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is

due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and

trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

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Posted
Posted

Hi there. In my opinion, this is way beyond what you should be trying to

handle--it's time to call the police. That's what they're there for. Years ago,

when I first moved to Los Angeles, a savvy neighbor advised me to never handle

issues with neighbors by myself and it was some of the best advice I ever got.

When you explain a situation to police, you have every right to request

anonymity, so the neighbors won't directly blame you. Police also keep a written

record of the problem, so there's a history if it escalates. I never put up with

noisy neighbors or any kind of shit like that, pardon my French. I pick up the

phone, call in the cops, and it gets handled. In some situations, people are

very resistant to change. So I call once, twice, three times, ten if need be,

but at that point, the cops are pretty motivated to shut that behavior down, and

they start taking names and issuing warnings or arrests. Works like a charm.

Good luck, and start dialin'.

AFB

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief - HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one close

to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez. This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending but

we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a party

for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint. The

cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

Hi there. In my opinion, this is way beyond what you should be trying to

handle--it's time to call the police. That's what they're there for. Years ago,

when I first moved to Los Angeles, a savvy neighbor advised me to never handle

issues with neighbors by myself and it was some of the best advice I ever got.

When you explain a situation to police, you have every right to request

anonymity, so the neighbors won't directly blame you. Police also keep a written

record of the problem, so there's a history if it escalates. I never put up with

noisy neighbors or any kind of shit like that, pardon my French. I pick up the

phone, call in the cops, and it gets handled. In some situations, people are

very resistant to change. So I call once, twice, three times, ten if need be,

but at that point, the cops are pretty motivated to shut that behavior down, and

they start taking names and issuing warnings or arrests. Works like a charm.

Good luck, and start dialin'.

AFB

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief - HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one close

to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez. This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending but

we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a party

for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint. The

cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

What AFB said is good advice.

> >

> > Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> > list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief - HA!

-

> > we all say that, right? :-)

> > I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> > recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> > DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> > distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the

neighborhood

> > is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> > mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with

the

> > house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

> > guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The

neighboring

> > house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> > The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> > neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one

close to

> > us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

> > in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> > girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally

snapped

> > and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

> > to sleep.

> > Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

> > and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> > landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear of

> > course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

> > side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> > The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> > keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

> > (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> > One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> > borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that

she

> > starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> > their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

the

> > doors.

> > So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have at

> > this time of year..

> > Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming and

> > yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

> > home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> > the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

> > full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right

by

> > the mailbox.

> > So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> > just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we figured

> > it would be the end of it.

> > Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

> > this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> > garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

> > So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

> > she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

> > many complaints.

> > The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> > been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

> > So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> > our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> > We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> > next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> > We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> > " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know

you

> > are good people, " etc.

> > Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> > they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez. This

> > woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

> > break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> > We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> > front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> > motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending

but we

> > are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

> > it is a must.

> > We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

> > already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> > unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

> > people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

she

> > had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> > tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> > either.

> >

> > So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

> > ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I feel

> > violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> > It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> > someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a

party for

> > a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> > thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

> > They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> > supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint.

The cop

> > came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

> > about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> > (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

> > they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

> > )

> > The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

> > it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> > building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

> > couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

older

> > couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

> > The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> > At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> > from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> > And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> > and place.

> > I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

> > to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> > when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and

trying

> > to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> > wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> > I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> > kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> > Any insight will be appreciated.

> > Em

> >

> >

> >

> >

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Posted
Posted

What AFB said is good advice.

> >

> > Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> > list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief - HA!

-

> > we all say that, right? :-)

> > I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> > recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> > DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> > distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the

neighborhood

> > is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> > mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with

the

> > house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

> > guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The

neighboring

> > house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> > The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> > neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one

close to

> > us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

> > in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> > girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally

snapped

> > and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

> > to sleep.

> > Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

> > and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> > landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear of

> > course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

> > side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> > The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> > keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

> > (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> > One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> > borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that

she

> > starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> > their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

the

> > doors.

> > So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have at

> > this time of year..

> > Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming and

> > yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

> > home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> > the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

> > full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right

by

> > the mailbox.

> > So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> > just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we figured

> > it would be the end of it.

> > Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

> > this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> > garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

> > So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

> > she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

> > many complaints.

> > The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> > been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

> > So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> > our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> > We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> > next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> > We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> > " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know

you

> > are good people, " etc.

> > Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> > they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez. This

> > woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

> > break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> > We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> > front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> > motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending

but we

> > are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

> > it is a must.

> > We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

> > already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> > unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

> > people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

she

> > had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> > tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> > either.

> >

> > So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

> > ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I feel

> > violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> > It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> > someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a

party for

> > a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> > thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

> > They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> > supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint.

The cop

> > came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

> > about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> > (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

> > they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

> > )

> > The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

> > it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> > building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

> > couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

older

> > couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

> > The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> > At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> > from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> > And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> > and place.

> > I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

> > to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> > when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and

trying

> > to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> > wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> > I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> > kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> > Any insight will be appreciated.

> > Em

> >

> >

> >

> >

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Posted
Posted

What AFB said is good advice.

> >

> > Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> > list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief - HA!

-

> > we all say that, right? :-)

> > I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> > recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> > DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> > distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the

neighborhood

> > is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> > mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with

the

> > house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

> > guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The

neighboring

> > house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> > The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> > neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one

close to

> > us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

> > in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> > girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally

snapped

> > and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

> > to sleep.

> > Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

> > and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> > landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear of

> > course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

> > side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> > The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> > keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

> > (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> > One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> > borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that

she

> > starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> > their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

the

> > doors.

> > So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have at

> > this time of year..

> > Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming and

> > yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

> > home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> > the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

> > full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right

by

> > the mailbox.

> > So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> > just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we figured

> > it would be the end of it.

> > Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

> > this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> > garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

> > So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

> > she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

> > many complaints.

> > The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> > been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

> > So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> > our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> > We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> > next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> > We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> > " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know

you

> > are good people, " etc.

> > Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> > they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez. This

> > woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

> > break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> > We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> > front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> > motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending

but we

> > are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

> > it is a must.

> > We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

> > already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> > unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

> > people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

she

> > had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> > tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> > either.

> >

> > So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

> > ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I feel

> > violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> > It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> > someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a

party for

> > a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> > thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

> > They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> > supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint.

The cop

> > came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

> > about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> > (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

> > they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

> > )

> > The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

> > it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> > building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

> > couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

older

> > couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

> > The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> > At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> > from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> > And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> > and place.

> > I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

> > to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> > when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and

trying

> > to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> > wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> > I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> > kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> > Any insight will be appreciated.

> > Em

> >

> >

> >

> >

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Posted
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Actually, yes, you can call the cops when neighbors are violating noise curfews.

Tomorrow, I suggest that you call your local police non-emergency number (their

office number) and ask them if there are any noise curfew laws in your town and

if so what the times are. I'm willing to bet that there are laws controlling

loud music after certain hours in your town. The next time they're running

their boom-box in the wee hours of the morning then report them and the police

will come and give them a warning about it.

-Annie

>

> Thanks, Annie. It helps to feel that I'm not just overreacting to the

> noise, etc. Right now as I type this at 1:27 a.m. we have just had to shut all

> the windows on that side of the house due to the stereo bass boom boom boom

> - it woke up my poor husband. He said L, the landlord-neighbor must hear

> it. I said I suspect she's trying to ignore it.

> For whatever reason I am extremely noise sensitive too, which doesn't help

> matters. It's making me miserable. I just told hubby we shouldn't have to

> live like this - it's making me really furious. I had a migraine this

> morning and I feel certain that the trigger was stress from their screaming

> episode last night as it got my adrenalin pumping so.

> I've been mulling it over since my original post, and I believe that one

> component of my upset is also L's reaction to the vandalism - she more or

> less laughed at it, said it was real strange, etc., but didn't display the

> kind of outrage I would have liked to see. Regardless of who did it, if

> someone did that to her I would have been very angry on her behalf and she

would

> have known it. She almost acted like it wasn't THAT big of a deal. Maybe I

> am just supersensitive right now, maybe not.

> I just put on Facebook that I hope someone will bail me out if I get

> arrested for smashing the neighbor's stereo - ha ha. What a tempting thought

> that is. But I won't do it. Can't really call the cops for booming bass,

> either, I suppose.

> What I may do is bring DD's digital recorder up to the house and start

> recording the noise that isn't cop-call worthy.

>

> Em

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Posted
Posted

Actually, yes, you can call the cops when neighbors are violating noise curfews.

Tomorrow, I suggest that you call your local police non-emergency number (their

office number) and ask them if there are any noise curfew laws in your town and

if so what the times are. I'm willing to bet that there are laws controlling

loud music after certain hours in your town. The next time they're running

their boom-box in the wee hours of the morning then report them and the police

will come and give them a warning about it.

-Annie

>

> Thanks, Annie. It helps to feel that I'm not just overreacting to the

> noise, etc. Right now as I type this at 1:27 a.m. we have just had to shut all

> the windows on that side of the house due to the stereo bass boom boom boom

> - it woke up my poor husband. He said L, the landlord-neighbor must hear

> it. I said I suspect she's trying to ignore it.

> For whatever reason I am extremely noise sensitive too, which doesn't help

> matters. It's making me miserable. I just told hubby we shouldn't have to

> live like this - it's making me really furious. I had a migraine this

> morning and I feel certain that the trigger was stress from their screaming

> episode last night as it got my adrenalin pumping so.

> I've been mulling it over since my original post, and I believe that one

> component of my upset is also L's reaction to the vandalism - she more or

> less laughed at it, said it was real strange, etc., but didn't display the

> kind of outrage I would have liked to see. Regardless of who did it, if

> someone did that to her I would have been very angry on her behalf and she

would

> have known it. She almost acted like it wasn't THAT big of a deal. Maybe I

> am just supersensitive right now, maybe not.

> I just put on Facebook that I hope someone will bail me out if I get

> arrested for smashing the neighbor's stereo - ha ha. What a tempting thought

> that is. But I won't do it. Can't really call the cops for booming bass,

> either, I suppose.

> What I may do is bring DD's digital recorder up to the house and start

> recording the noise that isn't cop-call worthy.

>

> Em

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Posted
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Em,

how awful!! I would feel incredibly violated and unsafe. I don't know if it's

from being a KO or just from having your home, which had previously been your

sanctuary and a pleasant place, turned into a war zone.

i really hope the landlord gets those creeps out of there very soon.

My husband and I had this happen to us many years ago. The guy downstairs from

us was the building super and began harassing us. I think he did this b/c we

found out we had been paying too much rent and went to town hall, literally, to

complain and got it lowered. I guess the building owner sicked this guy on us to

scare us away. It did eventually work but it was one of the scariest

experiences of my life. I was afraid to leave or come into my own home.

it would be great if your neighborhood as a community could voice their outrage

about these kids to the cops, the mayor, whomever, just somebody with the muscle

to get them out of there. Your neighbors sound like they're good neighbors and

might cooperate with you.

let us know what happens.

Fiona

>

> Replying to my own post here:

> More information to clarify a few things. DD is an adult who lives in our

> guest house, DH and I are both work at home writers, very quiet by nature.

> There is nobody in our life who would want to harass us by doing something

> juvenile to our yard, which is why we're certain it's the psycho neighbors.

> And as for my KO situation, NADA is a high-functioning bpd who is in a

> nursing home with dementia. We couldn't bring her here for any holidays this

> year, and on Christmas day when we visited she did not know that DD was her

> granddaughter - she knew she knew her, but couldn't figure out exactly how,

> which was depressing in and of itself.

>

>

> In a message dated 1/2/2011 6:16:21 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> darkalleye@... writes:

>

>

>

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief -

> HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the

> neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with

> the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The

> neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one

> close to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally

> snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear

> of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that

> she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

> the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have

> at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming

> and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right

> by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we

> figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know

> you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez.

> This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending

> but we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

> she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

> noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I

> feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a

> party for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint.

> The cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

> older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and

> trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

Em,

how awful!! I would feel incredibly violated and unsafe. I don't know if it's

from being a KO or just from having your home, which had previously been your

sanctuary and a pleasant place, turned into a war zone.

i really hope the landlord gets those creeps out of there very soon.

My husband and I had this happen to us many years ago. The guy downstairs from

us was the building super and began harassing us. I think he did this b/c we

found out we had been paying too much rent and went to town hall, literally, to

complain and got it lowered. I guess the building owner sicked this guy on us to

scare us away. It did eventually work but it was one of the scariest

experiences of my life. I was afraid to leave or come into my own home.

it would be great if your neighborhood as a community could voice their outrage

about these kids to the cops, the mayor, whomever, just somebody with the muscle

to get them out of there. Your neighbors sound like they're good neighbors and

might cooperate with you.

let us know what happens.

Fiona

>

> Replying to my own post here:

> More information to clarify a few things. DD is an adult who lives in our

> guest house, DH and I are both work at home writers, very quiet by nature.

> There is nobody in our life who would want to harass us by doing something

> juvenile to our yard, which is why we're certain it's the psycho neighbors.

> And as for my KO situation, NADA is a high-functioning bpd who is in a

> nursing home with dementia. We couldn't bring her here for any holidays this

> year, and on Christmas day when we visited she did not know that DD was her

> granddaughter - she knew she knew her, but couldn't figure out exactly how,

> which was depressing in and of itself.

>

>

> In a message dated 1/2/2011 6:16:21 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> darkalleye@... writes:

>

>

>

>

> Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief -

> HA! -

> we all say that, right? :-)

> I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the

> neighborhood

> is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with

> the

> house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

> guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The

> neighboring

> house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one

> close to

> us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

> in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally

> snapped

> and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

> to sleep.

> Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

> and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear

> of

> course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

> side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

> (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that

> she

> starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

> the

> doors.

> So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have

> at

> this time of year..

> Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming

> and

> yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

> home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

> full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right

> by

> the mailbox.

> So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we

> figured

> it would be the end of it.

> Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

> this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

> So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

> she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

> many complaints.

> The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

> So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know

> you

> are good people, " etc.

> Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez.

> This

> woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

> break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending

> but we

> are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

> it is a must.

> We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

> already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

> people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

> she

> had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

> noise,

> either.

>

> So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

> ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I

> feel

> violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a

> party for

> a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

> They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint.

> The cop

> came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

> about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

> they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

> )

> The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

> it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

> couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

> older

> couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

> The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> and place.

> I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

> to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and

> trying

> to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> Any insight will be appreciated.

> Em

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Posted
Posted

Hey,this IS a big deal! Booming their stereo at one thirty in the morning????

I'd be on the verge of a nervous breakdown if I had to put up with that kind of

noise harassment.Perhaps your landlord neighbor is under-reacting because she

doesn't know how to confront these kids or is afraid to and perhaps she didn't

display any real outrage because she doesn't want to be held responsible for

what's going on over there.You're not being supersensitive--it really is

outrageous that you're having to put up with all this crap.

These kids need to be told to cease and desist.I've had noisy neighbors a

couple of times and my theory is that if someone lacks consideration for others

to the degree that they just don't *care* that their noise is a disturbance,then

they need to have this explained to them in the form of a visit from the police.

I can totally relate to your frustration and your desire to smash their

stereo,lol! Keeping a record of the noise/misbehavior is an excellent idea so

you have proof that it's part of a pattern and it's ongoing.

Call the cops! Good luck!

> >

> > Thanks, Annie. It helps to feel that I'm not just overreacting to the

> > noise, etc. Right now as I type this at 1:27 a.m. we have just had to shut

all

> > the windows on that side of the house due to the stereo bass boom boom boom

> > - it woke up my poor husband. He said L, the landlord-neighbor must hear

> > it. I said I suspect she's trying to ignore it.

> > For whatever reason I am extremely noise sensitive too, which doesn't help

> > matters. It's making me miserable. I just told hubby we shouldn't have to

> > live like this - it's making me really furious. I had a migraine this

> > morning and I feel certain that the trigger was stress from their screaming

> > episode last night as it got my adrenalin pumping so.

> > I've been mulling it over since my original post, and I believe that one

> > component of my upset is also L's reaction to the vandalism - she more or

> > less laughed at it, said it was real strange, etc., but didn't display the

> > kind of outrage I would have liked to see. Regardless of who did it, if

> > someone did that to her I would have been very angry on her behalf and she

would

> > have known it. She almost acted like it wasn't THAT big of a deal. Maybe I

> > am just supersensitive right now, maybe not.

> > I just put on Facebook that I hope someone will bail me out if I get

> > arrested for smashing the neighbor's stereo - ha ha. What a tempting thought

> > that is. But I won't do it. Can't really call the cops for booming bass,

> > either, I suppose.

> > What I may do is bring DD's digital recorder up to the house and start

> > recording the noise that isn't cop-call worthy.

> >

> > Em

>

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Posted
Posted

Hey,this IS a big deal! Booming their stereo at one thirty in the morning????

I'd be on the verge of a nervous breakdown if I had to put up with that kind of

noise harassment.Perhaps your landlord neighbor is under-reacting because she

doesn't know how to confront these kids or is afraid to and perhaps she didn't

display any real outrage because she doesn't want to be held responsible for

what's going on over there.You're not being supersensitive--it really is

outrageous that you're having to put up with all this crap.

These kids need to be told to cease and desist.I've had noisy neighbors a

couple of times and my theory is that if someone lacks consideration for others

to the degree that they just don't *care* that their noise is a disturbance,then

they need to have this explained to them in the form of a visit from the police.

I can totally relate to your frustration and your desire to smash their

stereo,lol! Keeping a record of the noise/misbehavior is an excellent idea so

you have proof that it's part of a pattern and it's ongoing.

Call the cops! Good luck!

> >

> > Thanks, Annie. It helps to feel that I'm not just overreacting to the

> > noise, etc. Right now as I type this at 1:27 a.m. we have just had to shut

all

> > the windows on that side of the house due to the stereo bass boom boom boom

> > - it woke up my poor husband. He said L, the landlord-neighbor must hear

> > it. I said I suspect she's trying to ignore it.

> > For whatever reason I am extremely noise sensitive too, which doesn't help

> > matters. It's making me miserable. I just told hubby we shouldn't have to

> > live like this - it's making me really furious. I had a migraine this

> > morning and I feel certain that the trigger was stress from their screaming

> > episode last night as it got my adrenalin pumping so.

> > I've been mulling it over since my original post, and I believe that one

> > component of my upset is also L's reaction to the vandalism - she more or

> > less laughed at it, said it was real strange, etc., but didn't display the

> > kind of outrage I would have liked to see. Regardless of who did it, if

> > someone did that to her I would have been very angry on her behalf and she

would

> > have known it. She almost acted like it wasn't THAT big of a deal. Maybe I

> > am just supersensitive right now, maybe not.

> > I just put on Facebook that I hope someone will bail me out if I get

> > arrested for smashing the neighbor's stereo - ha ha. What a tempting thought

> > that is. But I won't do it. Can't really call the cops for booming bass,

> > either, I suppose.

> > What I may do is bring DD's digital recorder up to the house and start

> > recording the noise that isn't cop-call worthy.

> >

> > Em

>

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Hi Em, sorry I'm so late responding to your post. I finally managed to get some

sleep last night.. what a relief that is.

I agree with what the others have said about letting the cops handle things, and

the voice recorder is also a great idea... however, I know all too well how

ineffective the cops can be at times. I spent 13 yrs battling an ex husband who

harassed me so badly I went into hiding with my kids for fear he would

eventually kill me and/or my kids. It took me that long to learn how to

effectively fight back, at which time the harassment did stop. Cops were

ineffective, the courts were ineffective, telling me they wouldn't give me a

restraining order because " he hasn't hurt me yet " .

I don't know how much of this has to do with the abuse I was raised with, the

abuse I married into (the first time) or the abuse I suffered at school as a

child... but a day came along when I was in my mid 20's that I finally said, no

more. I tried so hard to always do " the right thing " and to do it " the right

way " and never got any effective results.

Do you or a friend or family member own a video camera you could use for a week

or 2? Documenting what is happening is the best way to fight back, a way to

offer solid proof that there is pot smoking, underage drinking going on,

excessive noise in the middle of the night. There are laws about those kinds of

things, but even if the cops don't handle it appropriately, there are still ways

to get it stopped. A video showing an underage person drinking alcohol, smoking

pot, and carrying on in such ways at night would give the local district

attorney an OBLIGATION to do something about it, all you'd need to do is present

the tape (and possibly write a statement or testify in court... and no, that

doesn't have to be as scary as it sounds... been there/done that).

Also, maybe its time for you to get together with some of the other neighbors

who have been doing the complaining? Having more than 1 person document the

drama can also help A LOT! I remember once setting my video camera up in a dark

room, on the tripod, in the window... duct tape over the little red light to

hide the fact that it was recording... it worked fairly well as I could just

walk away and go back every 6 hrs to change the tape. It took a few nights of

this before I captured anything useful, but by looking at the time I heard the

crap begin I was able to find it easily on the video tape without having to play

the whole way through.

Have you consulted any of the other neighbors about going over there together

when this is all happening? A group of you, never 1 or 2 alone... but if you

have the power of 10 people standing there demanding they stop, it does 2

things... it takes the finger pointing away from any 1 person and then it lets

them know that you have all had enough and are working together to make them

stop or leave/move. Intimidation does not have to be threatening, but it sure

is a powerful tool.

The problems with their " gifts " being left in your yard... I know what my

approach would be to that. Yes, it would cost me a few bucks I can't afford,

but I would (and have done) this before, it works VERY well. They make

sprinkler systems that go into the yard on a spike and can be anchored with a

chain so as not to be stolen. These are motion activated so only turn on when

they detect movement. (I can offer a link to one online if needed) I found

these when I grew tired of the entire neighborhood thinking our yard was a

sidewalk and leaving their garbage behind as well. I had 70+ yr old ladies with

canes stepping right over the small fence I could afford to put up to line the

boundary of our yard... it made me crazy and none of them seemed to care when I

tried to handle it " the right way " or when I called the cops. Most

outdoor/hunting stores sell animal scents for hunting purposes... Cabella's has

a huge selection. After the sprinkler I went shopping for a small (cheap)

bottle of skunk scent, with the idea of loading up a squirt gun and the

sprinkler both. Thus far I have never had to open the skunk scent, (thankfully)

but it is here just in case. After my shopping trip I made a point to spend

time outdoors greeting the few neighbors I knew at that time, and told ALL of

them what I had done and reminded them that it was all LEGAL because it was my

property and I was chasing " stray animals " away with it. Worked like a charm...

have not had a single person walk through my yard since word got out that I was

prepared to fight back. The neighbor dog that was crapping in my yard every

day... also stopped in a big hurry. He no longer roams the neighborhood as

freely as he used to. (yes, I tried handling that " the right way " but that

didn't work either)

Yes, I know this all sounds like a lot of work... but, if you think about it,

aren't you doing a lot of work already and getting no results? The way I

approach these types of situations is with the thought that if I have to go

through the trouble to " work " at resolving an issue someone else is causing for

me, then I, at very least expect my work to pay off and offer some results.

Some other examples of how effective my ideas have been... one of the worst

neighborhoods I have lived in during my life, full of drug dealers and gangs,

etc. but I had my own fenced in yard that was my haven away from it all, we

lived peacefully... for a while. Eventually we bought rabbits and built them a

hutch out in the yard and they began breeding (which is what we wanted). With 3

wk old baby rabbits out there the neighborhood kids started climbing over the

fence to steal them in the middle of the night. 1 at a time they began to

disappear and we were unable to catch anyone in the act. By the time the last

baby bunny (the 5th) was taken I was beside myself... and I called the cops yet

again. The cop that came to my house explained that if nobody witnessed the

theft then there was nothing they could do to prove who had taken the rabbits or

how. So... in a very loud voice that I was sure my neighbors would hear, I told

the cop thanks for nothing, I could see I would just have to handle it myself by

hooking a car battery up to my fence with jumper cables when I couldn't be out

there to watch it.

Of course the cop warned me that I couldn't do such a thing, that he would then

be back to arrest me... and I told him, even louder... " it takes you guys about

30 minutes or more to show up when I call, so that's 30 minutes for me to put

the battery and cables in the garage. How are you going to prove I did it

anymore than you can do so for my rabbits? " The cop said nothing. After the

cop left I went to the garage and found an old car battery that was no good that

my then bf had laying around and a pair of jumper cables. I set the battery

where it was in plain view and then proceeded to hook it to my fence before I

went into the house for the night.

Guess what? All of my rabbits were safe that night, and every other night after

that. Had someone tested it they would have discovered that I used an garbage

battery and it wasn't really " active " ... but who was gonna go touch it and try

just to find out? ;-)

Sometimes we have to take care of ourselves, and if we are thoughtful about the

process, there ARE effective ways to avoid continued harassment from others.

And, when the cops realize that you've been pushed over the edge enough to act

on your own, they get a lot more helpful in doing their duty, which can be quite

effective also. I refer to it as " pm " (police motivation).

So to sum it all up, there are 3 things to approaching this sort of thing, and

it helps rid you of the stress because you begin to feel like you're actually

doing something about the problem. Be sure the police are actively involved.

Get the other neighbors involved as much as possible and get PROOF of what is

happening, such as voice recordings and video of the activity. And, above

all... be creative! This is the part that relieves the most stress. For as

angry as I was at the time, I never thought I could laugh so hard after the

incident with the skunk scent and sprinkler... the look on my neighbor's face

when I told him about it, and the days we began counting where nobody came

through our yard, we got a great laugh out of how " easy " it was to fix such a

big problem.

Best of luck to you!

> >

> > Well, fellow KOs, I have been mulling over putting this question to the

> > list for a few days and decided to, so here goes. I'll try to be brief - HA!

-

> > we all say that, right? :-)

> > I am trying to figure out if my reaction to something that happened

> > recently is because I'm a KO, or if anybody would be as upset as I am.

> > DH and I own a house in a small but bustling town. We are within walking

> > distance of the restaurants, shops, bars, library, etc., but the

neighborhood

> > is residential. It is historically designated - the buildings are a

> > mixture of styles and types. Ours was built in 1926 on a double lot, with

the

> > house on the edge, the detached garage set back in the lot's middle and a

> > guest house on the other side at the back. There's an alley. The

neighboring

> > house is also built to the edge so they are close.

> > The neighborhood was very quiet - pin drop quiet at night - until the

> > neighbor, who lives in her guest house, rented her front house, the one

close to

> > us, to three teenagers. And all Hell erupted. Three days after they moved

> > in, after three days of listening to them screaming and yelling, the two

> > girls were having a vicious screaming fight at one a.m. and I finally

snapped

> > and went outside and yelled over the fence to shut up, people were trying

> > to sleep.

> > Since then the noise has continued unrelenting. There is underage drinking

> > and pot smoking. The neighbors across the street have complained to the

> > landlord-neighbor about there partying on the front porch (which we hear of

> > course because it's close to our sun-porch) and the neighbors to the other

> > side have complained about the partying on the patio on that side.

> > The landlord-neighbor has gone out on several occasions to tell them to

> > keep it down but it doesn't get through. Mostly she either doesn't hear it

> > (um, Ambien haze? or pretends not to hear it.)

> > One of the girls has some kind of mental pathology. I think she may be

> > borderline or bipolar. She screams and yells at her roommates so much that

she

> > starts coughing. She's completely psycho. We can hear every word - with

> > their windows shut and our windows shut. They run, bang, crash, yell. Slam

the

> > doors.

> > So much for enjoying the lovely weather and windows open we usually have at

> > this time of year..

> > Anyway, right before Christmas the girls were having a party, screaming and

> > yelling as usual, and DD and I went out to the 7-11 for something. We came

> > home, then later went out to put out our Christmas yard lights and walk

> > the dog. Between that time, about an hour and a half, someone had dumped a

> > full tray of dirty cat litter on the sidewalk in front of our house, right

by

> > the mailbox.

> > So my husband says I should sweep it up and take it back, which I did. I

> > just returned it to their doorstep. They never saw me do it. And we figured

> > it would be the end of it.

> > Let me be clear - there is nobody else in this neighborhood that would do

> > this - the old lady on the other side loves us because we take out her

> > garbage, etc. And yes, the teens have three cats they got from the pound.

> > So the screaming and yelling continued, and the landlord-neighbor told us

> > she was consulting a lawyer about evicting them because she was getting so

> > many complaints.

> > The bizarre thing about the kitty litter is that at that point we hadn't

> > been complaining to her a lot - the other neighbors were doing it for us.

> > So a couple of days after Christmas sometime after one a.m. they covered

> > our yard in fruit loops, hot dogs and torn up white bread.

> > We called the police and filed a report. There was a trail leading back

> > next door, but the cop couldn't find the wrappers.

> > We called the landlord-neighbor at work and told her. She said she would

> > " talk to them. " Well, I heard her talking to them. She told them " I know

you

> > are good people, " etc.

> > Say what? Does she not hear them? Did she not see our yard? She told us

> > they had alibis. The psycho girl was playing Wii. Hahahahahahaha. Geez. This

> > woman has no children - she has not had teenagers to deal with. Give me a

> > break. Wii as an alibi. I'd like to see that in court.

> > We have installed a dummy video camera that looks very realistic on the

> > front of the house, and we are ordering a DVR video that is linked to a

> > motion activated light. This is money we really don't need to be spending

but we

> > are so uncomfortable about someone vandalizing our cars or the house that

> > it is a must.

> > We will also be putting in a wood fence between the properties - there is

> > already a chain link, but we're hoping the wood will stop noise, and

> > unfortunately her history of renting shows that she has bad judgment about

> > people. She's had a couple other doozy tenants too - didn't bother us, but

she

> > had problems. Interestingly, for the houses being so close, the other

> > tenants, one batch of two and the last of three, didn't make objectional

noise,

> > either.

> >

> > So to get to the point of my letter, this has upset me so much that it has

> > ruined the holiday season. I have tried not to let it get to me, but I feel

> > violated and as though my own home's sanctity is disturbed.

> > It has taken me back to a very bad place - a time back in 2002 when

> > someone did something similar to us in a condo we owned. DH and I had a

party for

> > a group of theater people. A male couple had it in for us because they

> > thought we owned a cat in the no pet building, and they couldn't prove it.

> > They were just a couple of old nuts. They saw us carrying in party

> > supplies. At 11 on the dot they called the police with a noise complaint.

The cop

> > came to the door, very apologetic, said he had to appear but not to worry

> > about it because he could hear coming up the hall that we weren't noisy.

> > (The cop was the hit of the party - everybody was over 40 - they all said

> > they'd never had the cops called on them before. They still talk about it.

> > )

> > The next morning somebody left a brown bag by our door, and when I opened

> > it expecting pastries or fruit, because we had a lot of friends in the

> > building, and were well-liked by many, I found human feces. Later the male

> > couple told another older couple in the building that they did it and the

older

> > couple told the manager - nobody else found this anything but despicable.

> > The police were called, but of course nothing could be done.

> > At the time we had our apartment up for sale and I was three days away

> > from major surgery. So this was a real bad time in our life.

> > And this food on the lawn incident has taken me back there to that time

> > and place.

> > I'm trying to overcome this. And figure out how much of my reaction is due

> > to being a KO. I do know that depression can be anger turned inward, and

> > when I was battling wasps that were attracted to the sweet cereal and

trying

> > to clean up the lawn I was so enraged I could have killed someone, which

> > wasn't a healthy place to be in my mind.

> > I'm also finding it real hard to be social with the neighbor-landlord. I

> > kind of want to kick her arse, ala sailor Doug, lol.

> > Any insight will be appreciated.

> > Em

> >

> >

> >

> >

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