Re: i would like to stop attracting BPs into my life

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I'm not sure if you attract a lot of bpd people but I think there are tons

out there always looking for fresh supply. Since I'm a little passive I am

receptive to people who approach me, most of them have pds. Now I have to

let them go. It's always disappointing and painful but I set them free

relatively quickly. I am interested in hearing what other people think. I am

annoyed when people tell me I'm having problems because of something I did

in a past life.

On Tue, Jan 11, 2011 at 7:46 PM, walkingto_happiness <

walkingto_happiness@...> wrote:

>

>

> Hi, and happy new year.

> I haven't posted in a while. I am the non child of a BP nada and a FOO in

> denial. I healed a lot over the years, with T, and posting here. I am so

> glad all of you exist, and can speak your truths. It is so important to me.

>

> I feel like the years in T were necessary for me to heal and come to terms

> with reality. But it's still not over. I have to rebuild my life from the

> ground up, it seemes. Or maybe I'm just naturally continuing to grow as a

> person, I don't know.

> In rebuilding my life, I have recently let a lot of friends go who were

> excessively negative. I had so much pain that I carried with me, that I

> attracted other people with heavy issues. The difference is, I want

> something better for myself, and I have to let the people go who don't. This

> has not always been easy.

> I also seem to have attracted a lot of BP people to me in the past. It was

> really frightening for me. Some of you have seen my posts, that I have a BP

> boss at work. I am not ready to leave the job, especially with the economy,

> and other things going on with me, I wish I had one more year to let things

> settle and plan my next move. However, it looks like I am probably going to

> lose my job at the end of my contract. I don't know whether to be thrilled,

> that I won't be harassed in a hostile situation anymore, or to be scared

> because I don't know what's coming next.

> I don't know why I attracted a BP boss into my life, but I interpreted it

> as exposure therapy, and tried to learn what I could. It did help me get

> over my PTSD in a large way. However, I am so unhappy and no one in the

> administration above her seems interested. It makes me realize how many

> people don't see BPs as dangerous and crazy as they are. One administrator

> told me " oh she's just flaky " . I've started to name BPD, whereas before I

> didn't. Now I say it: " I do believe she has borderline personality

> disorder " . Most people have no idea what that is.

>

> My experience of life is so wierd. I am thankful that this group exists,

> because so few people have to deal with a BP up close and personal. Like the

> people at my work, they see the positive sides of a BP, and have no idea of

> their capacities for destruction. I know my nada ruined a lot of my life,

> and it has cost me years to rebuild my life...

>

> I don't want to sound really super negative, but I am just so frustrated,

> and scared of losing my job in this economy. Why have I had to deal with so

> many BPs in this lifetime? A friend of mine suggested that following the

> idea of karma, maybe I was a BP in a past lifetime... I wish there was an

> island escape I could go to where there would be a guarantee of no BPs...

> there are so many of them, and I always seem to find them!

>

> Why do I attract so many BPs? Is this going to change??? I thought by

> dealing with my boss, I would undo whatever energy I carry that attracts

> BPs, and I hope that is true. I wish most of all for this new year that I

> can be around people that see me for my highest potential and encourage the

> good in me. Please help me get there...

>

> Thanks, thanks for reading this vent. It's so good to know you are there!

> Walkingto Happiness.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think when you are an empathic, sympathetic, compassionate and loving person,

you will naturally attract the opposite (BPD and even NPDs). In the past, I

tended to attract NPDs. They are emotionally flatlined people who can fake it

really well. They really don't have feelings and love to see your own

adrenaline do you in when they attack, back off and attack again in a single

episode of attack. It's sad really.

I think the only thing you can do is be aware and protect yourself. Let go of

negative people. For every negative and abusive person I've let go of, 3

beautiful, wonderful and spiritual people have entered my life. I'm all about

boundaries now, watching the red flags and not reacting to their drama so they

have nothing to hook me with. Then I get them out of my life by becoming very

uninteresting and I actually use tactics on purpose to piss them off and make

them want to get out of my life (sadly, it's the only way to get them out

safely). It sucks, they're out there but you don't have to put up with it when

you find it. You're doing right by letting people go. I know it's frustrating

but it will get better.

>

> >

> >

> > Hi, and happy new year.

> > I haven't posted in a while. I am the non child of a BP nada and a FOO in

> > denial. I healed a lot over the years, with T, and posting here. I am so

> > glad all of you exist, and can speak your truths. It is so important to me.

> >

> > I feel like the years in T were necessary for me to heal and come to terms

> > with reality. But it's still not over. I have to rebuild my life from the

> > ground up, it seemes. Or maybe I'm just naturally continuing to grow as a

> > person, I don't know.

> > In rebuilding my life, I have recently let a lot of friends go who were

> > excessively negative. I had so much pain that I carried with me, that I

> > attracted other people with heavy issues. The difference is, I want

> > something better for myself, and I have to let the people go who don't. This

> > has not always been easy.

> > I also seem to have attracted a lot of BP people to me in the past. It was

> > really frightening for me. Some of you have seen my posts, that I have a BP

> > boss at work. I am not ready to leave the job, especially with the economy,

> > and other things going on with me, I wish I had one more year to let things

> > settle and plan my next move. However, it looks like I am probably going to

> > lose my job at the end of my contract. I don't know whether to be thrilled,

> > that I won't be harassed in a hostile situation anymore, or to be scared

> > because I don't know what's coming next.

> > I don't know why I attracted a BP boss into my life, but I interpreted it

> > as exposure therapy, and tried to learn what I could. It did help me get

> > over my PTSD in a large way. However, I am so unhappy and no one in the

> > administration above her seems interested. It makes me realize how many

> > people don't see BPs as dangerous and crazy as they are. One administrator

> > told me " oh she's just flaky " . I've started to name BPD, whereas before I

> > didn't. Now I say it: " I do believe she has borderline personality

> > disorder " . Most people have no idea what that is.

> >

> > My experience of life is so wierd. I am thankful that this group exists,

> > because so few people have to deal with a BP up close and personal. Like the

> > people at my work, they see the positive sides of a BP, and have no idea of

> > their capacities for destruction. I know my nada ruined a lot of my life,

> > and it has cost me years to rebuild my life...

> >

> > I don't want to sound really super negative, but I am just so frustrated,

> > and scared of losing my job in this economy. Why have I had to deal with so

> > many BPs in this lifetime? A friend of mine suggested that following the

> > idea of karma, maybe I was a BP in a past lifetime... I wish there was an

> > island escape I could go to where there would be a guarantee of no BPs...

> > there are so many of them, and I always seem to find them!

> >

> > Why do I attract so many BPs? Is this going to change??? I thought by

> > dealing with my boss, I would undo whatever energy I carry that attracts

> > BPs, and I hope that is true. I wish most of all for this new year that I

> > can be around people that see me for my highest potential and encourage the

> > good in me. Please help me get there...

> >

> > Thanks, thanks for reading this vent. It's so good to know you are there!

> > Walkingto Happiness.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jaie, I'd love to hear your tactics for getting NPD/BPD's to leave your life

voluntarily. For me they stick like glue and I have to use a crowbar to pry

them off of me.

>

flags and not reacting to their drama so they have nothing to hook me with.

Then I get them out of my life by becoming very uninteresting and I actually use

tactics on purpose to piss them off and make them want to get out of my life

(sadly, it's the only way to get them out safely). It sucks, they're out there

but you don't have to put up with it when you find it. You're doing right by

letting people go. I know it's frustrating but it will get better.

[Guest guest]

Jaie, I'd love to hear your tactics for getting NPD/BPD's to leave your life

voluntarily. For me they stick like glue and I have to use a crowbar to pry

them off of me.

>

flags and not reacting to their drama so they have nothing to hook me with.

Then I get them out of my life by becoming very uninteresting and I actually use

tactics on purpose to piss them off and make them want to get out of my life

(sadly, it's the only way to get them out safely). It sucks, they're out there

but you don't have to put up with it when you find it. You're doing right by

letting people go. I know it's frustrating but it will get better.

[Guest guest]

Jaie, I'd love to hear your tactics for getting NPD/BPD's to leave your life

voluntarily. For me they stick like glue and I have to use a crowbar to pry

them off of me.

>

flags and not reacting to their drama so they have nothing to hook me with.

Then I get them out of my life by becoming very uninteresting and I actually use

tactics on purpose to piss them off and make them want to get out of my life

(sadly, it's the only way to get them out safely). It sucks, they're out there

but you don't have to put up with it when you find it. You're doing right by

letting people go. I know it's frustrating but it will get better.

[Guest guest]

When you get close, they recoil and push you away. Then you cling and they

have to push you with both arms and you let them. It's painful and it

triggers abandonment feelings but it works.

On Tue, Jan 11, 2011 at 10:01 PM, climberkayak wrote:

>

>

> Jaie, I'd love to hear your tactics for getting NPD/BPD's to leave your

> life voluntarily. For me they stick like glue and I have to use a crowbar to

> pry them off of me.

>

>

>

>

> >

> flags and not reacting to their drama so they have nothing to hook me with.

> Then I get them out of my life by becoming very uninteresting and I actually

> use tactics on purpose to piss them off and make them want to get out of my

> life (sadly, it's the only way to get them out safely). It sucks, they're

> out there but you don't have to put up with it when you find it. You're

> doing right by letting people go. I know it's frustrating but it will get

> better.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

When you get close, they recoil and push you away. Then you cling and they

have to push you with both arms and you let them. It's painful and it

triggers abandonment feelings but it works.

On Tue, Jan 11, 2011 at 10:01 PM, climberkayak wrote:

>

>

> Jaie, I'd love to hear your tactics for getting NPD/BPD's to leave your

> life voluntarily. For me they stick like glue and I have to use a crowbar to

> pry them off of me.

>

>

>

>

> >

> flags and not reacting to their drama so they have nothing to hook me with.

> Then I get them out of my life by becoming very uninteresting and I actually

> use tactics on purpose to piss them off and make them want to get out of my

> life (sadly, it's the only way to get them out safely). It sucks, they're

> out there but you don't have to put up with it when you find it. You're

> doing right by letting people go. I know it's frustrating but it will get

> better.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

When you get close, they recoil and push you away. Then you cling and they

have to push you with both arms and you let them. It's painful and it

triggers abandonment feelings but it works.

On Tue, Jan 11, 2011 at 10:01 PM, climberkayak wrote:

>

>

> Jaie, I'd love to hear your tactics for getting NPD/BPD's to leave your

> life voluntarily. For me they stick like glue and I have to use a crowbar to

> pry them off of me.

>

>

>

>

> >

> flags and not reacting to their drama so they have nothing to hook me with.

> Then I get them out of my life by becoming very uninteresting and I actually

> use tactics on purpose to piss them off and make them want to get out of my

> life (sadly, it's the only way to get them out safely). It sucks, they're

> out there but you don't have to put up with it when you find it. You're

> doing right by letting people go. I know it's frustrating but it will get

> better.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Millicent,

I had this problem with a npd-ish coworker. Of course, dont know if they were

diagnosed but they exhibited all the warning signs. There was a rumor going

around work they were also bipolar. I know for a fact they are also an alcoholic

and a chronic drug user.

When I had to work solely with them, they talked about their problems non-stop

to me. It got really irritating after awhile. I didn't think to set a boundary

in that area, but I've noticed acting very uninterested works well.

Also, acting bored and not feeding into their drama also works well. If they ask

you questions answer them with things like " maybe.. " " I guess " ...uh-huh,

sure...(and change the subject to something mundane if you have to like the

weather. It silently communicates your boundaries. They'll get the hint. If they

don't, just walk away.

I was surprised how something so socially awkward as walking away when they are

in mid-sentence is so effective. I started doing that. I also started using

sarcasm (in small doses) and humor. It also helped keep me mentally detached

from their drama. They LOVE sucking people into their problems and their mental

climate.

Joy

>

> >

> >

> > Hi, and happy new year.

> > I haven't posted in a while. I am the non child of a BP nada and a FOO in

> > denial. I healed a lot over the years, with T, and posting here. I am so

> > glad all of you exist, and can speak your truths. It is so important to me.

> >

> > I feel like the years in T were necessary for me to heal and come to terms

> > with reality. But it's still not over. I have to rebuild my life from the

> > ground up, it seemes. Or maybe I'm just naturally continuing to grow as a

> > person, I don't know.

> > In rebuilding my life, I have recently let a lot of friends go who were

> > excessively negative. I had so much pain that I carried with me, that I

> > attracted other people with heavy issues. The difference is, I want

> > something better for myself, and I have to let the people go who don't. This

> > has not always been easy.

> > I also seem to have attracted a lot of BP people to me in the past. It was

> > really frightening for me. Some of you have seen my posts, that I have a BP

> > boss at work. I am not ready to leave the job, especially with the economy,

> > and other things going on with me, I wish I had one more year to let things

> > settle and plan my next move. However, it looks like I am probably going to

> > lose my job at the end of my contract. I don't know whether to be thrilled,

> > that I won't be harassed in a hostile situation anymore, or to be scared

> > because I don't know what's coming next.

> > I don't know why I attracted a BP boss into my life, but I interpreted it

> > as exposure therapy, and tried to learn what I could. It did help me get

> > over my PTSD in a large way. However, I am so unhappy and no one in the

> > administration above her seems interested. It makes me realize how many

> > people don't see BPs as dangerous and crazy as they are. One administrator

> > told me " oh she's just flaky " . I've started to name BPD, whereas before I

> > didn't. Now I say it: " I do believe she has borderline personality

> > disorder " . Most people have no idea what that is.

> >

> > My experience of life is so wierd. I am thankful that this group exists,

> > because so few people have to deal with a BP up close and personal. Like the

> > people at my work, they see the positive sides of a BP, and have no idea of

> > their capacities for destruction. I know my nada ruined a lot of my life,

> > and it has cost me years to rebuild my life...

> >

> > I don't want to sound really super negative, but I am just so frustrated,

> > and scared of losing my job in this economy. Why have I had to deal with so

> > many BPs in this lifetime? A friend of mine suggested that following the

> > idea of karma, maybe I was a BP in a past lifetime... I wish there was an

> > island escape I could go to where there would be a guarantee of no BPs...

> > there are so many of them, and I always seem to find them!

> >

> > Why do I attract so many BPs? Is this going to change??? I thought by

> > dealing with my boss, I would undo whatever energy I carry that attracts

> > BPs, and I hope that is true. I wish most of all for this new year that I

> > can be around people that see me for my highest potential and encourage the

> > good in me. Please help me get there...

> >

> > Thanks, thanks for reading this vent. It's so good to know you are there!

> > Walkingto Happiness.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Millicent,

I had this problem with a npd-ish coworker. Of course, dont know if they were

diagnosed but they exhibited all the warning signs. There was a rumor going

around work they were also bipolar. I know for a fact they are also an alcoholic

and a chronic drug user.

When I had to work solely with them, they talked about their problems non-stop

to me. It got really irritating after awhile. I didn't think to set a boundary

in that area, but I've noticed acting very uninterested works well.

Also, acting bored and not feeding into their drama also works well. If they ask

you questions answer them with things like " maybe.. " " I guess " ...uh-huh,

sure...(and change the subject to something mundane if you have to like the

weather. It silently communicates your boundaries. They'll get the hint. If they

don't, just walk away.

I was surprised how something so socially awkward as walking away when they are

in mid-sentence is so effective. I started doing that. I also started using

sarcasm (in small doses) and humor. It also helped keep me mentally detached

from their drama. They LOVE sucking people into their problems and their mental

climate.

Joy

>

> >

> >

> > Hi, and happy new year.

> > I haven't posted in a while. I am the non child of a BP nada and a FOO in

> > denial. I healed a lot over the years, with T, and posting here. I am so

> > glad all of you exist, and can speak your truths. It is so important to me.

> >

> > I feel like the years in T were necessary for me to heal and come to terms

> > with reality. But it's still not over. I have to rebuild my life from the

> > ground up, it seemes. Or maybe I'm just naturally continuing to grow as a

> > person, I don't know.

> > In rebuilding my life, I have recently let a lot of friends go who were

> > excessively negative. I had so much pain that I carried with me, that I

> > attracted other people with heavy issues. The difference is, I want

> > something better for myself, and I have to let the people go who don't. This

> > has not always been easy.

> > I also seem to have attracted a lot of BP people to me in the past. It was

> > really frightening for me. Some of you have seen my posts, that I have a BP

> > boss at work. I am not ready to leave the job, especially with the economy,

> > and other things going on with me, I wish I had one more year to let things

> > settle and plan my next move. However, it looks like I am probably going to

> > lose my job at the end of my contract. I don't know whether to be thrilled,

> > that I won't be harassed in a hostile situation anymore, or to be scared

> > because I don't know what's coming next.

> > I don't know why I attracted a BP boss into my life, but I interpreted it

> > as exposure therapy, and tried to learn what I could. It did help me get

> > over my PTSD in a large way. However, I am so unhappy and no one in the

> > administration above her seems interested. It makes me realize how many

> > people don't see BPs as dangerous and crazy as they are. One administrator

> > told me " oh she's just flaky " . I've started to name BPD, whereas before I

> > didn't. Now I say it: " I do believe she has borderline personality

> > disorder " . Most people have no idea what that is.

> >

> > My experience of life is so wierd. I am thankful that this group exists,

> > because so few people have to deal with a BP up close and personal. Like the

> > people at my work, they see the positive sides of a BP, and have no idea of

> > their capacities for destruction. I know my nada ruined a lot of my life,

> > and it has cost me years to rebuild my life...

> >

> > I don't want to sound really super negative, but I am just so frustrated,

> > and scared of losing my job in this economy. Why have I had to deal with so

> > many BPs in this lifetime? A friend of mine suggested that following the

> > idea of karma, maybe I was a BP in a past lifetime... I wish there was an

> > island escape I could go to where there would be a guarantee of no BPs...

> > there are so many of them, and I always seem to find them!

> >

> > Why do I attract so many BPs? Is this going to change??? I thought by

> > dealing with my boss, I would undo whatever energy I carry that attracts

> > BPs, and I hope that is true. I wish most of all for this new year that I

> > can be around people that see me for my highest potential and encourage the

> > good in me. Please help me get there...

> >

> > Thanks, thanks for reading this vent. It's so good to know you are there!

> > Walkingto Happiness.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Millicent,

I had this problem with a npd-ish coworker. Of course, dont know if they were

diagnosed but they exhibited all the warning signs. There was a rumor going

around work they were also bipolar. I know for a fact they are also an alcoholic

and a chronic drug user.

When I had to work solely with them, they talked about their problems non-stop

to me. It got really irritating after awhile. I didn't think to set a boundary

in that area, but I've noticed acting very uninterested works well.

Also, acting bored and not feeding into their drama also works well. If they ask

you questions answer them with things like " maybe.. " " I guess " ...uh-huh,

sure...(and change the subject to something mundane if you have to like the

weather. It silently communicates your boundaries. They'll get the hint. If they

don't, just walk away.

I was surprised how something so socially awkward as walking away when they are

in mid-sentence is so effective. I started doing that. I also started using

sarcasm (in small doses) and humor. It also helped keep me mentally detached

from their drama. They LOVE sucking people into their problems and their mental

climate.

Joy

>

> >

> >

> > Hi, and happy new year.

> > I haven't posted in a while. I am the non child of a BP nada and a FOO in

> > denial. I healed a lot over the years, with T, and posting here. I am so

> > glad all of you exist, and can speak your truths. It is so important to me.

> >

> > I feel like the years in T were necessary for me to heal and come to terms

> > with reality. But it's still not over. I have to rebuild my life from the

> > ground up, it seemes. Or maybe I'm just naturally continuing to grow as a

> > person, I don't know.

> > In rebuilding my life, I have recently let a lot of friends go who were

> > excessively negative. I had so much pain that I carried with me, that I

> > attracted other people with heavy issues. The difference is, I want

> > something better for myself, and I have to let the people go who don't. This

> > has not always been easy.

> > I also seem to have attracted a lot of BP people to me in the past. It was

> > really frightening for me. Some of you have seen my posts, that I have a BP

> > boss at work. I am not ready to leave the job, especially with the economy,

> > and other things going on with me, I wish I had one more year to let things

> > settle and plan my next move. However, it looks like I am probably going to

> > lose my job at the end of my contract. I don't know whether to be thrilled,

> > that I won't be harassed in a hostile situation anymore, or to be scared

> > because I don't know what's coming next.

> > I don't know why I attracted a BP boss into my life, but I interpreted it

> > as exposure therapy, and tried to learn what I could. It did help me get

> > over my PTSD in a large way. However, I am so unhappy and no one in the

> > administration above her seems interested. It makes me realize how many

> > people don't see BPs as dangerous and crazy as they are. One administrator

> > told me " oh she's just flaky " . I've started to name BPD, whereas before I

> > didn't. Now I say it: " I do believe she has borderline personality

> > disorder " . Most people have no idea what that is.

> >

> > My experience of life is so wierd. I am thankful that this group exists,

> > because so few people have to deal with a BP up close and personal. Like the

> > people at my work, they see the positive sides of a BP, and have no idea of

> > their capacities for destruction. I know my nada ruined a lot of my life,

> > and it has cost me years to rebuild my life...

> >

> > I don't want to sound really super negative, but I am just so frustrated,

> > and scared of losing my job in this economy. Why have I had to deal with so

> > many BPs in this lifetime? A friend of mine suggested that following the

> > idea of karma, maybe I was a BP in a past lifetime... I wish there was an

> > island escape I could go to where there would be a guarantee of no BPs...

> > there are so many of them, and I always seem to find them!

> >

> > Why do I attract so many BPs? Is this going to change??? I thought by

> > dealing with my boss, I would undo whatever energy I carry that attracts

> > BPs, and I hope that is true. I wish most of all for this new year that I

> > can be around people that see me for my highest potential and encourage the

> > good in me. Please help me get there...

> >

> > Thanks, thanks for reading this vent. It's so good to know you are there!

> > Walkingto Happiness.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Happiness,

I'm with you! now that I'm aware of PDs and specifically, BPDs, I find myself

SURROUNDED by them.

I think Millicent is right, too. I have tended to be a bit passive,

people-pleaser type and BPDs seem to find the validation and attention they

crave from me.

I once posted about a woman I work with who may as well have had a sign around

her neck saying, " BPD ALERT!!! " and I just didn't see it until recently. Our

relationship turned sour -- because I disagreed with her about something.

Usually, in the past, I would act like nothing happen and do my best to please

her (or the other BPDs in my life).

This time, I made clear I wasn't pleased, withdrew from her, told her I would no

longer be joining her for coffee. She didn't like it, but it felt GREAT to make

MY wishes known.

good luck to you!

>

> Hi, and happy new year.

> I haven't posted in a while. I am the non child of a BP nada and a FOO in

denial. I healed a lot over the years, with T, and posting here. I am so glad

all of you exist, and can speak your truths. It is so important to me.

>

> I feel like the years in T were necessary for me to heal and come to terms

with reality. But it's still not over. I have to rebuild my life from the

ground up, it seemes. Or maybe I'm just naturally continuing to grow as a

person, I don't know.

> In rebuilding my life, I have recently let a lot of friends go who were

excessively negative. I had so much pain that I carried with me, that I

attracted other people with heavy issues. The difference is, I want something

better for myself, and I have to let the people go who don't. This has not

always been easy.

> I also seem to have attracted a lot of BP people to me in the past. It was

really frightening for me. Some of you have seen my posts, that I have a BP

boss at work. I am not ready to leave the job, especially with the economy, and

other things going on with me, I wish I had one more year to let things settle

and plan my next move. However, it looks like I am probably going to lose my

job at the end of my contract. I don't know whether to be thrilled, that I

won't be harassed in a hostile situation anymore, or to be scared because I

don't know what's coming next.

> I don't know why I attracted a BP boss into my life, but I interpreted it as

exposure therapy, and tried to learn what I could. It did help me get over my

PTSD in a large way. However, I am so unhappy and no one in the administration

above her seems interested. It makes me realize how many people don't see BPs

as dangerous and crazy as they are. One administrator told me " oh she's just

flaky " . I've started to name BPD, whereas before I didn't. Now I say it: " I do

believe she has borderline personality disorder " . Most people have no idea

what that is.

>

> My experience of life is so wierd. I am thankful that this group exists,

because so few people have to deal with a BP up close and personal. Like the

people at my work, they see the positive sides of a BP, and have no idea of

their capacities for destruction. I know my nada ruined a lot of my life, and

it has cost me years to rebuild my life...

>

> I don't want to sound really super negative, but I am just so frustrated, and

scared of losing my job in this economy. Why have I had to deal with so many

BPs in this lifetime? A friend of mine suggested that following the idea of

karma, maybe I was a BP in a past lifetime... I wish there was an island escape

I could go to where there would be a guarantee of no BPs... there are so many

of them, and I always seem to find them!

>

> Why do I attract so many BPs? Is this going to change??? I thought by

dealing with my boss, I would undo whatever energy I carry that attracts BPs,

and I hope that is true. I wish most of all for this new year that I can be

around people that see me for my highest potential and encourage the good in me.

Please help me get there...

>

> Thanks, thanks for reading this vent. It's so good to know you are there!

> Walkingto Happiness.

>

[Guest guest]

Happiness,

I'm with you! now that I'm aware of PDs and specifically, BPDs, I find myself

SURROUNDED by them.

I think Millicent is right, too. I have tended to be a bit passive,

people-pleaser type and BPDs seem to find the validation and attention they

crave from me.

I once posted about a woman I work with who may as well have had a sign around

her neck saying, " BPD ALERT!!! " and I just didn't see it until recently. Our

relationship turned sour -- because I disagreed with her about something.

Usually, in the past, I would act like nothing happen and do my best to please

her (or the other BPDs in my life).

This time, I made clear I wasn't pleased, withdrew from her, told her I would no

longer be joining her for coffee. She didn't like it, but it felt GREAT to make

MY wishes known.

good luck to you!

>

> Hi, and happy new year.

> I haven't posted in a while. I am the non child of a BP nada and a FOO in

denial. I healed a lot over the years, with T, and posting here. I am so glad

all of you exist, and can speak your truths. It is so important to me.

>

> I feel like the years in T were necessary for me to heal and come to terms

with reality. But it's still not over. I have to rebuild my life from the

ground up, it seemes. Or maybe I'm just naturally continuing to grow as a

person, I don't know.

> In rebuilding my life, I have recently let a lot of friends go who were

excessively negative. I had so much pain that I carried with me, that I

attracted other people with heavy issues. The difference is, I want something

better for myself, and I have to let the people go who don't. This has not

always been easy.

> I also seem to have attracted a lot of BP people to me in the past. It was

really frightening for me. Some of you have seen my posts, that I have a BP

boss at work. I am not ready to leave the job, especially with the economy, and

other things going on with me, I wish I had one more year to let things settle

and plan my next move. However, it looks like I am probably going to lose my

job at the end of my contract. I don't know whether to be thrilled, that I

won't be harassed in a hostile situation anymore, or to be scared because I

don't know what's coming next.

> I don't know why I attracted a BP boss into my life, but I interpreted it as

exposure therapy, and tried to learn what I could. It did help me get over my

PTSD in a large way. However, I am so unhappy and no one in the administration

above her seems interested. It makes me realize how many people don't see BPs

as dangerous and crazy as they are. One administrator told me " oh she's just

flaky " . I've started to name BPD, whereas before I didn't. Now I say it: " I do

believe she has borderline personality disorder " . Most people have no idea

what that is.

>

> My experience of life is so wierd. I am thankful that this group exists,

because so few people have to deal with a BP up close and personal. Like the

people at my work, they see the positive sides of a BP, and have no idea of

their capacities for destruction. I know my nada ruined a lot of my life, and

it has cost me years to rebuild my life...

>

> I don't want to sound really super negative, but I am just so frustrated, and

scared of losing my job in this economy. Why have I had to deal with so many

BPs in this lifetime? A friend of mine suggested that following the idea of

karma, maybe I was a BP in a past lifetime... I wish there was an island escape

I could go to where there would be a guarantee of no BPs... there are so many

of them, and I always seem to find them!

>

> Why do I attract so many BPs? Is this going to change??? I thought by

dealing with my boss, I would undo whatever energy I carry that attracts BPs,

and I hope that is true. I wish most of all for this new year that I can be

around people that see me for my highest potential and encourage the good in me.

Please help me get there...

>

> Thanks, thanks for reading this vent. It's so good to know you are there!

> Walkingto Happiness.

>

[Guest guest]

Jaie,

those are GREAT strategies. I'm going to use them!!

I want some beautiful people in my life!

>

> I think when you are an empathic, sympathetic, compassionate and loving

person, you will naturally attract the opposite (BPD and even NPDs). In the

past, I tended to attract NPDs. They are emotionally flatlined people who can

fake it really well. They really don't have feelings and love to see your own

adrenaline do you in when they attack, back off and attack again in a single

episode of attack. It's sad really.

>

> I think the only thing you can do is be aware and protect yourself. Let go of

negative people. For every negative and abusive person I've let go of, 3

beautiful, wonderful and spiritual people have entered my life. I'm all about

boundaries now, watching the red flags and not reacting to their drama so they

have nothing to hook me with. Then I get them out of my life by becoming very

uninteresting and I actually use tactics on purpose to piss them off and make

them want to get out of my life (sadly, it's the only way to get them out

safely). It sucks, they're out there but you don't have to put up with it when

you find it. You're doing right by letting people go. I know it's frustrating

but it will get better.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jaie,

those are GREAT strategies. I'm going to use them!!

I want some beautiful people in my life!

>

> I think when you are an empathic, sympathetic, compassionate and loving

person, you will naturally attract the opposite (BPD and even NPDs). In the

past, I tended to attract NPDs. They are emotionally flatlined people who can

fake it really well. They really don't have feelings and love to see your own

adrenaline do you in when they attack, back off and attack again in a single

episode of attack. It's sad really.

>

> I think the only thing you can do is be aware and protect yourself. Let go of

negative people. For every negative and abusive person I've let go of, 3

beautiful, wonderful and spiritual people have entered my life. I'm all about

boundaries now, watching the red flags and not reacting to their drama so they

have nothing to hook me with. Then I get them out of my life by becoming very

uninteresting and I actually use tactics on purpose to piss them off and make

them want to get out of my life (sadly, it's the only way to get them out

safely). It sucks, they're out there but you don't have to put up with it when

you find it. You're doing right by letting people go. I know it's frustrating

but it will get better.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jaie,

those are GREAT strategies. I'm going to use them!!

I want some beautiful people in my life!

>

> I think when you are an empathic, sympathetic, compassionate and loving

person, you will naturally attract the opposite (BPD and even NPDs). In the

past, I tended to attract NPDs. They are emotionally flatlined people who can

fake it really well. They really don't have feelings and love to see your own

adrenaline do you in when they attack, back off and attack again in a single

episode of attack. It's sad really.

>

> I think the only thing you can do is be aware and protect yourself. Let go of

negative people. For every negative and abusive person I've let go of, 3

beautiful, wonderful and spiritual people have entered my life. I'm all about

boundaries now, watching the red flags and not reacting to their drama so they

have nothing to hook me with. Then I get them out of my life by becoming very

uninteresting and I actually use tactics on purpose to piss them off and make

them want to get out of my life (sadly, it's the only way to get them out

safely). It sucks, they're out there but you don't have to put up with it when

you find it. You're doing right by letting people go. I know it's frustrating

but it will get better.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

love that word picture!! It's true. They're like tapeworms.

> >

> flags and not reacting to their drama so they have nothing to hook me with.

Then I get them out of my life by becoming very uninteresting and I actually use

tactics on purpose to piss them off and make them want to get out of my life

(sadly, it's the only way to get them out safely). It sucks, they're out there

but you don't have to put up with it when you find it. You're doing right by

letting people go. I know it's frustrating but it will get better.

>

[Guest guest]

,

love that word picture!! It's true. They're like tapeworms.

> >

> flags and not reacting to their drama so they have nothing to hook me with.

Then I get them out of my life by becoming very uninteresting and I actually use

tactics on purpose to piss them off and make them want to get out of my life

(sadly, it's the only way to get them out safely). It sucks, they're out there

but you don't have to put up with it when you find it. You're doing right by

letting people go. I know it's frustrating but it will get better.

>

[Guest guest]

,

love that word picture!! It's true. They're like tapeworms.

> >

> flags and not reacting to their drama so they have nothing to hook me with.

Then I get them out of my life by becoming very uninteresting and I actually use

tactics on purpose to piss them off and make them want to get out of my life

(sadly, it's the only way to get them out safely). It sucks, they're out there

but you don't have to put up with it when you find it. You're doing right by

letting people go. I know it's frustrating but it will get better.

>

[Guest guest]

It's sad to say it but you have to become as devious, subtly manipulative and

emotionally flat-lined as they are. Once you realize you are in the midst of an

NPD or BPD partner, it's time to get outside help to get you out if that is what

you want. Work with a counselor. I married a man I am certain was a raging NPD

so I had to act like a BPD to get him out. Having a BPD nada was perfect

because I had an active role model for my plan of attack and even if it was out

of my own self-preservation, it was an attack.

NPDs typically have a deep seated sense of insecurity and that can work to your

advantage. Never go directly at their weak spot because that can be emotionally

or physically dangerous. You have to be smarter than to go after the

low-hanging fruit that they go after. This was hard for me because I am an

empathic, loving and compassionate person. That is what attracted him to

me...that and the fact that I was highly successful and " HOT as Hell " as he put

it. So I planned to be done in 4 months. I gained 30 pounds on purpose to get

him unhooked from me being hot. LOL I also started wearing sweats and tshirts

more often, not doing my hair more often when we went out and wearing a lot less

make up. He had let me know through the course of our relationship that he

divorced his first wife because she got fat, and the girlfriend after that

because she only ever wore sweats and never put on make up.

Then, the man was a sex addict...I cut him off feigning work stress and being

overwrought with BPD nada's antics. I then started to attack my own success

informing him my job was on the line and it was likely he was going to have to

support me on his retirement income (he didn't work). I then started to refuse

to go out unless he was paying for it (because I had to save money for my

impending (totally made up job loss). That pissed him off royal! LOL

I flat out stopped reacting to his direct attacks to push my buttons (man it

hurt when he hit them. He knew where everyone of them was and used a sledge

hammer on them). So, I had a deal with my best friend. On my way to work or on

my way home, I would call her and vent to her instead of talking to him to get

it out of my system. In the process, he developed impotence. I casually

mentioned that I told my counselor about his problem to see what I could be

doing to cause it and what I might do to help. That sent him into a rage to

which I didn't respond...I just told him that was his problem, I would tell my

counselor anything I liked and he could just go get his own if he didn't like

it. He disliked tatoos, I went out and got one and had him come with me. He

was so irrational and turning himself inside out because of it.

Whatever he didn't like, that's what I did but subtly so he wouldn't realize

what I was doing. I let him believe he was having to work so hard to rescue me

and I was giving nothing in return, no thank yous no nothing.

All of this created the emotional separation necessary to drop the bomb. Now,

when I dropped it and told him I was just too emotionally confused and depressed

to carry on any kind of relationship and filed for divorce, he still went

ballistic and he stalked me for 3 or 4 months online, by phone and email. I

didn't read his emails, deleted his messages and I made sure I was never where

he was. I paid attention to his online posts. When he said he was visiting a

friend to get over my borderline tactics that destroyed him, I packed up and

moved to a secure complex and I changed my phone numbers, all of them. I even

took a new job at a new building with my company so he couldn't put notes on my

car. All of these tactics got him out of my life. As a true NPD does, they

quickly search for a new victim to feed off of...it is an energy thing as much

as anything else. Once you cut off their supply, they will eventually move on.

The BPD nada, I just had to wait for an explosive argument on her part - I

didn't wait long. When she unleashed a screaming attack, I told her to get out

and I told her never contact me again. When she began stalking and threatening,

we filed a restraining order. When she continued to break the order, we

contacted the police for advice...MOVE, Change phone numbers and when she breaks

the order, we'll pick her up for breaking the order. We picked up and moved,

changed phone numbers etc. Now she can rage all she wants but it won't be to

me.

Now, you have to be very strong because the NPD and the BPD will attack you

through your family. Preemptive strike is the only thing you can do. Advise

family members in advance before you initiate your cut off move. I even had to

call older adult services as a preemptive strike with nada because she

threatened me before with filing false charges. So, I opened a case, told them

everything and asked for the help with her. So, when she called and made her

false claim, there was already a file open. There was nothing she could do.

Every action concerning her was recorded by video or performed with the police

present so no allegations could be manufactured that would stick.

These people are really sick. But you are not...you can be healthy and free of

them but you have to get a plan for how to cut them off or deal with them. You

do have to learn their language and how not to trigger them, unless you want to

cut them out. I know this sounds devious but I really don't care. Nada and the

NPD ex nearly destroyed me. I was about ready to comit myself until I learned

he would have control over everything that was mine - money, children,

everything. So, instead, I got real strong, worked out a plan with my counselor

and I got them both out. I timed this 6 months apart. Having an NPD and a BPD

wreaking havoc and attacking you daily is more than brutal. Getting them out

was so hard on me but I did it. I survived to tell the tale and I know for a

fact, I will never be fooled again. I can spot an NPD or BPD nearly by smell

now...LOL They can't get back in. Prevention is the key.

You can change your behavior to get them out. Quit being the thing that

attracts them. Don't be so open and trusting, loving and compassionate when

they seem overly attractive and ego stroking about you. The ego stroke is the

first clue. They fool you into trusting them, then they find out everything

about you because you are naturally open and trusting and then they will use

every bit of information you give them to twist the knife and nut you up. If

you can get them to get help - awesome, if you can't RUN AWAY as fast as you can

if your emotional health means anything to you.

My life is so peaceful and wonderful now without any bi-polar, borderline,

psychopathic, addicted narcissists in it. I deserve to have only healthy,

rational and loving people in my sphere and I refuse to accept anything less!

Best wishes to you.

J

>

> Jaie, I'd love to hear your tactics for getting NPD/BPD's to leave your life

voluntarily. For me they stick like glue and I have to use a crowbar to pry

them off of me.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

It's sad to say it but you have to become as devious, subtly manipulative and

emotionally flat-lined as they are. Once you realize you are in the midst of an

NPD or BPD partner, it's time to get outside help to get you out if that is what

you want. Work with a counselor. I married a man I am certain was a raging NPD

so I had to act like a BPD to get him out. Having a BPD nada was perfect

because I had an active role model for my plan of attack and even if it was out

of my own self-preservation, it was an attack.

NPDs typically have a deep seated sense of insecurity and that can work to your

advantage. Never go directly at their weak spot because that can be emotionally

or physically dangerous. You have to be smarter than to go after the

low-hanging fruit that they go after. This was hard for me because I am an

empathic, loving and compassionate person. That is what attracted him to

me...that and the fact that I was highly successful and " HOT as Hell " as he put

it. So I planned to be done in 4 months. I gained 30 pounds on purpose to get

him unhooked from me being hot. LOL I also started wearing sweats and tshirts

more often, not doing my hair more often when we went out and wearing a lot less

make up. He had let me know through the course of our relationship that he

divorced his first wife because she got fat, and the girlfriend after that

because she only ever wore sweats and never put on make up.

Then, the man was a sex addict...I cut him off feigning work stress and being

overwrought with BPD nada's antics. I then started to attack my own success

informing him my job was on the line and it was likely he was going to have to

support me on his retirement income (he didn't work). I then started to refuse

to go out unless he was paying for it (because I had to save money for my

impending (totally made up job loss). That pissed him off royal! LOL

I flat out stopped reacting to his direct attacks to push my buttons (man it

hurt when he hit them. He knew where everyone of them was and used a sledge

hammer on them). So, I had a deal with my best friend. On my way to work or on

my way home, I would call her and vent to her instead of talking to him to get

it out of my system. In the process, he developed impotence. I casually

mentioned that I told my counselor about his problem to see what I could be

doing to cause it and what I might do to help. That sent him into a rage to

which I didn't respond...I just told him that was his problem, I would tell my

counselor anything I liked and he could just go get his own if he didn't like

it. He disliked tatoos, I went out and got one and had him come with me. He

was so irrational and turning himself inside out because of it.

Whatever he didn't like, that's what I did but subtly so he wouldn't realize

what I was doing. I let him believe he was having to work so hard to rescue me

and I was giving nothing in return, no thank yous no nothing.

All of this created the emotional separation necessary to drop the bomb. Now,

when I dropped it and told him I was just too emotionally confused and depressed

to carry on any kind of relationship and filed for divorce, he still went

ballistic and he stalked me for 3 or 4 months online, by phone and email. I

didn't read his emails, deleted his messages and I made sure I was never where

he was. I paid attention to his online posts. When he said he was visiting a

friend to get over my borderline tactics that destroyed him, I packed up and

moved to a secure complex and I changed my phone numbers, all of them. I even

took a new job at a new building with my company so he couldn't put notes on my

car. All of these tactics got him out of my life. As a true NPD does, they

quickly search for a new victim to feed off of...it is an energy thing as much

as anything else. Once you cut off their supply, they will eventually move on.

The BPD nada, I just had to wait for an explosive argument on her part - I

didn't wait long. When she unleashed a screaming attack, I told her to get out

and I told her never contact me again. When she began stalking and threatening,

we filed a restraining order. When she continued to break the order, we

contacted the police for advice...MOVE, Change phone numbers and when she breaks

the order, we'll pick her up for breaking the order. We picked up and moved,

changed phone numbers etc. Now she can rage all she wants but it won't be to

me.

Now, you have to be very strong because the NPD and the BPD will attack you

through your family. Preemptive strike is the only thing you can do. Advise

family members in advance before you initiate your cut off move. I even had to

call older adult services as a preemptive strike with nada because she

threatened me before with filing false charges. So, I opened a case, told them

everything and asked for the help with her. So, when she called and made her

false claim, there was already a file open. There was nothing she could do.

Every action concerning her was recorded by video or performed with the police

present so no allegations could be manufactured that would stick.

These people are really sick. But you are not...you can be healthy and free of

them but you have to get a plan for how to cut them off or deal with them. You

do have to learn their language and how not to trigger them, unless you want to

cut them out. I know this sounds devious but I really don't care. Nada and the

NPD ex nearly destroyed me. I was about ready to comit myself until I learned

he would have control over everything that was mine - money, children,

everything. So, instead, I got real strong, worked out a plan with my counselor

and I got them both out. I timed this 6 months apart. Having an NPD and a BPD

wreaking havoc and attacking you daily is more than brutal. Getting them out

was so hard on me but I did it. I survived to tell the tale and I know for a

fact, I will never be fooled again. I can spot an NPD or BPD nearly by smell

now...LOL They can't get back in. Prevention is the key.

You can change your behavior to get them out. Quit being the thing that

attracts them. Don't be so open and trusting, loving and compassionate when

they seem overly attractive and ego stroking about you. The ego stroke is the

first clue. They fool you into trusting them, then they find out everything

about you because you are naturally open and trusting and then they will use

every bit of information you give them to twist the knife and nut you up. If

you can get them to get help - awesome, if you can't RUN AWAY as fast as you can

if your emotional health means anything to you.

My life is so peaceful and wonderful now without any bi-polar, borderline,

psychopathic, addicted narcissists in it. I deserve to have only healthy,

rational and loving people in my sphere and I refuse to accept anything less!

Best wishes to you.

J

>

> Jaie, I'd love to hear your tactics for getting NPD/BPD's to leave your life

voluntarily. For me they stick like glue and I have to use a crowbar to pry

them off of me.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

It's sad to say it but you have to become as devious, subtly manipulative and

emotionally flat-lined as they are. Once you realize you are in the midst of an

NPD or BPD partner, it's time to get outside help to get you out if that is what

you want. Work with a counselor. I married a man I am certain was a raging NPD

so I had to act like a BPD to get him out. Having a BPD nada was perfect

because I had an active role model for my plan of attack and even if it was out

of my own self-preservation, it was an attack.

NPDs typically have a deep seated sense of insecurity and that can work to your

advantage. Never go directly at their weak spot because that can be emotionally

or physically dangerous. You have to be smarter than to go after the

low-hanging fruit that they go after. This was hard for me because I am an

empathic, loving and compassionate person. That is what attracted him to

me...that and the fact that I was highly successful and " HOT as Hell " as he put

it. So I planned to be done in 4 months. I gained 30 pounds on purpose to get

him unhooked from me being hot. LOL I also started wearing sweats and tshirts

more often, not doing my hair more often when we went out and wearing a lot less

make up. He had let me know through the course of our relationship that he

divorced his first wife because she got fat, and the girlfriend after that

because she only ever wore sweats and never put on make up.

Then, the man was a sex addict...I cut him off feigning work stress and being

overwrought with BPD nada's antics. I then started to attack my own success

informing him my job was on the line and it was likely he was going to have to

support me on his retirement income (he didn't work). I then started to refuse

to go out unless he was paying for it (because I had to save money for my

impending (totally made up job loss). That pissed him off royal! LOL

I flat out stopped reacting to his direct attacks to push my buttons (man it

hurt when he hit them. He knew where everyone of them was and used a sledge

hammer on them). So, I had a deal with my best friend. On my way to work or on

my way home, I would call her and vent to her instead of talking to him to get

it out of my system. In the process, he developed impotence. I casually

mentioned that I told my counselor about his problem to see what I could be

doing to cause it and what I might do to help. That sent him into a rage to

which I didn't respond...I just told him that was his problem, I would tell my

counselor anything I liked and he could just go get his own if he didn't like

it. He disliked tatoos, I went out and got one and had him come with me. He

was so irrational and turning himself inside out because of it.

Whatever he didn't like, that's what I did but subtly so he wouldn't realize

what I was doing. I let him believe he was having to work so hard to rescue me

and I was giving nothing in return, no thank yous no nothing.

All of this created the emotional separation necessary to drop the bomb. Now,

when I dropped it and told him I was just too emotionally confused and depressed

to carry on any kind of relationship and filed for divorce, he still went

ballistic and he stalked me for 3 or 4 months online, by phone and email. I

didn't read his emails, deleted his messages and I made sure I was never where

he was. I paid attention to his online posts. When he said he was visiting a

friend to get over my borderline tactics that destroyed him, I packed up and

moved to a secure complex and I changed my phone numbers, all of them. I even

took a new job at a new building with my company so he couldn't put notes on my

car. All of these tactics got him out of my life. As a true NPD does, they

quickly search for a new victim to feed off of...it is an energy thing as much

as anything else. Once you cut off their supply, they will eventually move on.

The BPD nada, I just had to wait for an explosive argument on her part - I

didn't wait long. When she unleashed a screaming attack, I told her to get out

and I told her never contact me again. When she began stalking and threatening,

we filed a restraining order. When she continued to break the order, we

contacted the police for advice...MOVE, Change phone numbers and when she breaks

the order, we'll pick her up for breaking the order. We picked up and moved,

changed phone numbers etc. Now she can rage all she wants but it won't be to

me.

Now, you have to be very strong because the NPD and the BPD will attack you

through your family. Preemptive strike is the only thing you can do. Advise

family members in advance before you initiate your cut off move. I even had to

call older adult services as a preemptive strike with nada because she

threatened me before with filing false charges. So, I opened a case, told them

everything and asked for the help with her. So, when she called and made her

false claim, there was already a file open. There was nothing she could do.

Every action concerning her was recorded by video or performed with the police

present so no allegations could be manufactured that would stick.

These people are really sick. But you are not...you can be healthy and free of

them but you have to get a plan for how to cut them off or deal with them. You

do have to learn their language and how not to trigger them, unless you want to

cut them out. I know this sounds devious but I really don't care. Nada and the

NPD ex nearly destroyed me. I was about ready to comit myself until I learned

he would have control over everything that was mine - money, children,

everything. So, instead, I got real strong, worked out a plan with my counselor

and I got them both out. I timed this 6 months apart. Having an NPD and a BPD

wreaking havoc and attacking you daily is more than brutal. Getting them out

was so hard on me but I did it. I survived to tell the tale and I know for a

fact, I will never be fooled again. I can spot an NPD or BPD nearly by smell

now...LOL They can't get back in. Prevention is the key.

You can change your behavior to get them out. Quit being the thing that

attracts them. Don't be so open and trusting, loving and compassionate when

they seem overly attractive and ego stroking about you. The ego stroke is the

first clue. They fool you into trusting them, then they find out everything

about you because you are naturally open and trusting and then they will use

every bit of information you give them to twist the knife and nut you up. If

you can get them to get help - awesome, if you can't RUN AWAY as fast as you can

if your emotional health means anything to you.

My life is so peaceful and wonderful now without any bi-polar, borderline,

psychopathic, addicted narcissists in it. I deserve to have only healthy,

rational and loving people in my sphere and I refuse to accept anything less!

Best wishes to you.

J

>

> Jaie, I'd love to hear your tactics for getting NPD/BPD's to leave your life

voluntarily. For me they stick like glue and I have to use a crowbar to pry

them off of me.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the encouragement. I am waiting for those three people for every

one, to come into my life... Maybe the people on this group count?

What does NPD stand for? Narcissitic PD??

Funny, you write that the more compassionate one is, the more PDs come into

one's life... and wasn't there, ironically, a post on here recently about BP's

complaining that their Families are not compassionate enough?

How many burdens can we be expected to bear??

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > Hi, and happy new year.

> > > I haven't posted in a while. I am the non child of a BP nada and a FOO in

> > > denial. I healed a lot over the years, with T, and posting here. I am so

> > > glad all of you exist, and can speak your truths. It is so important to

me.

> > >

> > > I feel like the years in T were necessary for me to heal and come to terms

> > > with reality. But it's still not over. I have to rebuild my life from the

> > > ground up, it seemes. Or maybe I'm just naturally continuing to grow as a

> > > person, I don't know.

> > > In rebuilding my life, I have recently let a lot of friends go who were

> > > excessively negative. I had so much pain that I carried with me, that I

> > > attracted other people with heavy issues. The difference is, I want

> > > something better for myself, and I have to let the people go who don't.

This

> > > has not always been easy.

> > > I also seem to have attracted a lot of BP people to me in the past. It was

> > > really frightening for me. Some of you have seen my posts, that I have a

BP

> > > boss at work. I am not ready to leave the job, especially with the

economy,

> > > and other things going on with me, I wish I had one more year to let

things

> > > settle and plan my next move. However, it looks like I am probably going

to

> > > lose my job at the end of my contract. I don't know whether to be

thrilled,

> > > that I won't be harassed in a hostile situation anymore, or to be scared

> > > because I don't know what's coming next.

> > > I don't know why I attracted a BP boss into my life, but I interpreted it

> > > as exposure therapy, and tried to learn what I could. It did help me get

> > > over my PTSD in a large way. However, I am so unhappy and no one in the

> > > administration above her seems interested. It makes me realize how many

> > > people don't see BPs as dangerous and crazy as they are. One administrator

> > > told me " oh she's just flaky " . I've started to name BPD, whereas before I

> > > didn't. Now I say it: " I do believe she has borderline personality

> > > disorder " . Most people have no idea what that is.

> > >

> > > My experience of life is so wierd. I am thankful that this group exists,

> > > because so few people have to deal with a BP up close and personal. Like

the

> > > people at my work, they see the positive sides of a BP, and have no idea

of

> > > their capacities for destruction. I know my nada ruined a lot of my life,

> > > and it has cost me years to rebuild my life...

> > >

> > > I don't want to sound really super negative, but I am just so frustrated,

> > > and scared of losing my job in this economy. Why have I had to deal with

so

> > > many BPs in this lifetime? A friend of mine suggested that following the

> > > idea of karma, maybe I was a BP in a past lifetime... I wish there was an

> > > island escape I could go to where there would be a guarantee of no BPs...

> > > there are so many of them, and I always seem to find them!

> > >

> > > Why do I attract so many BPs? Is this going to change??? I thought by

> > > dealing with my boss, I would undo whatever energy I carry that attracts

> > > BPs, and I hope that is true. I wish most of all for this new year that I

> > > can be around people that see me for my highest potential and encourage

the

> > > good in me. Please help me get there...

> > >

> > > Thanks, thanks for reading this vent. It's so good to know you are there!

> > > Walkingto Happiness.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the encouragement. I am waiting for those three people for every

one, to come into my life... Maybe the people on this group count?

What does NPD stand for? Narcissitic PD??

Funny, you write that the more compassionate one is, the more PDs come into

one's life... and wasn't there, ironically, a post on here recently about BP's

complaining that their Families are not compassionate enough?

How many burdens can we be expected to bear??

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > Hi, and happy new year.

> > > I haven't posted in a while. I am the non child of a BP nada and a FOO in

> > > denial. I healed a lot over the years, with T, and posting here. I am so

> > > glad all of you exist, and can speak your truths. It is so important to

me.

> > >

> > > I feel like the years in T were necessary for me to heal and come to terms

> > > with reality. But it's still not over. I have to rebuild my life from the

> > > ground up, it seemes. Or maybe I'm just naturally continuing to grow as a

> > > person, I don't know.

> > > In rebuilding my life, I have recently let a lot of friends go who were

> > > excessively negative. I had so much pain that I carried with me, that I

> > > attracted other people with heavy issues. The difference is, I want

> > > something better for myself, and I have to let the people go who don't.

This

> > > has not always been easy.

> > > I also seem to have attracted a lot of BP people to me in the past. It was

> > > really frightening for me. Some of you have seen my posts, that I have a

BP

> > > boss at work. I am not ready to leave the job, especially with the

economy,

> > > and other things going on with me, I wish I had one more year to let

things

> > > settle and plan my next move. However, it looks like I am probably going

to

> > > lose my job at the end of my contract. I don't know whether to be

thrilled,

> > > that I won't be harassed in a hostile situation anymore, or to be scared

> > > because I don't know what's coming next.

> > > I don't know why I attracted a BP boss into my life, but I interpreted it

> > > as exposure therapy, and tried to learn what I could. It did help me get

> > > over my PTSD in a large way. However, I am so unhappy and no one in the

> > > administration above her seems interested. It makes me realize how many

> > > people don't see BPs as dangerous and crazy as they are. One administrator

> > > told me " oh she's just flaky " . I've started to name BPD, whereas before I

> > > didn't. Now I say it: " I do believe she has borderline personality

> > > disorder " . Most people have no idea what that is.

> > >

> > > My experience of life is so wierd. I am thankful that this group exists,

> > > because so few people have to deal with a BP up close and personal. Like

the

> > > people at my work, they see the positive sides of a BP, and have no idea

of

> > > their capacities for destruction. I know my nada ruined a lot of my life,

> > > and it has cost me years to rebuild my life...

> > >

> > > I don't want to sound really super negative, but I am just so frustrated,

> > > and scared of losing my job in this economy. Why have I had to deal with

so

> > > many BPs in this lifetime? A friend of mine suggested that following the

> > > idea of karma, maybe I was a BP in a past lifetime... I wish there was an

> > > island escape I could go to where there would be a guarantee of no BPs...

> > > there are so many of them, and I always seem to find them!

> > >

> > > Why do I attract so many BPs? Is this going to change??? I thought by

> > > dealing with my boss, I would undo whatever energy I carry that attracts

> > > BPs, and I hope that is true. I wish most of all for this new year that I

> > > can be around people that see me for my highest potential and encourage

the

> > > good in me. Please help me get there...

> > >

> > > Thanks, thanks for reading this vent. It's so good to know you are there!

> > > Walkingto Happiness.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the encouragement. I am waiting for those three people for every

one, to come into my life... Maybe the people on this group count?

What does NPD stand for? Narcissitic PD??

Funny, you write that the more compassionate one is, the more PDs come into

one's life... and wasn't there, ironically, a post on here recently about BP's

complaining that their Families are not compassionate enough?

How many burdens can we be expected to bear??

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > Hi, and happy new year.

> > > I haven't posted in a while. I am the non child of a BP nada and a FOO in

> > > denial. I healed a lot over the years, with T, and posting here. I am so

> > > glad all of you exist, and can speak your truths. It is so important to

me.

> > >

> > > I feel like the years in T were necessary for me to heal and come to terms

> > > with reality. But it's still not over. I have to rebuild my life from the

> > > ground up, it seemes. Or maybe I'm just naturally continuing to grow as a

> > > person, I don't know.

> > > In rebuilding my life, I have recently let a lot of friends go who were

> > > excessively negative. I had so much pain that I carried with me, that I

> > > attracted other people with heavy issues. The difference is, I want

> > > something better for myself, and I have to let the people go who don't.

This

> > > has not always been easy.

> > > I also seem to have attracted a lot of BP people to me in the past. It was

> > > really frightening for me. Some of you have seen my posts, that I have a

BP

> > > boss at work. I am not ready to leave the job, especially with the

economy,

> > > and other things going on with me, I wish I had one more year to let

things

> > > settle and plan my next move. However, it looks like I am probably going

to

> > > lose my job at the end of my contract. I don't know whether to be

thrilled,

> > > that I won't be harassed in a hostile situation anymore, or to be scared

> > > because I don't know what's coming next.

> > > I don't know why I attracted a BP boss into my life, but I interpreted it

> > > as exposure therapy, and tried to learn what I could. It did help me get

> > > over my PTSD in a large way. However, I am so unhappy and no one in the

> > > administration above her seems interested. It makes me realize how many

> > > people don't see BPs as dangerous and crazy as they are. One administrator

> > > told me " oh she's just flaky " . I've started to name BPD, whereas before I

> > > didn't. Now I say it: " I do believe she has borderline personality

> > > disorder " . Most people have no idea what that is.

> > >

> > > My experience of life is so wierd. I am thankful that this group exists,

> > > because so few people have to deal with a BP up close and personal. Like

the

> > > people at my work, they see the positive sides of a BP, and have no idea

of

> > > their capacities for destruction. I know my nada ruined a lot of my life,

> > > and it has cost me years to rebuild my life...

> > >

> > > I don't want to sound really super negative, but I am just so frustrated,

> > > and scared of losing my job in this economy. Why have I had to deal with

so

> > > many BPs in this lifetime? A friend of mine suggested that following the

> > > idea of karma, maybe I was a BP in a past lifetime... I wish there was an

> > > island escape I could go to where there would be a guarantee of no BPs...

> > > there are so many of them, and I always seem to find them!

> > >

> > > Why do I attract so many BPs? Is this going to change??? I thought by

> > > dealing with my boss, I would undo whatever energy I carry that attracts

> > > BPs, and I hope that is true. I wish most of all for this new year that I

> > > can be around people that see me for my highest potential and encourage

the

> > > good in me. Please help me get there...

> > >

> > > Thanks, thanks for reading this vent. It's so good to know you are there!

> > > Walkingto Happiness.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >