Re: TYPICAL RESPONSE TO ME

[Guest guest]

, that's wonderful news! Congrats to you, how exciting =)

Sorry your nada can't offer the same level of excitement. It reminds me of

my own nada a bit. I'm a musician and in high school used to enter

competitions. I always did really well but she could usually only find

fault with it.

In college I entered some art into an art show & won a small scholarship. I

didn't even bother to tell her lol.

Good for you for being able to see it is her loss. I like what you said,

" Her color blindness is her loss " . So very true!

Mia

>

[Guest guest]

, that's wonderful news! Congrats to you, how exciting =)

Sorry your nada can't offer the same level of excitement. It reminds me of

my own nada a bit. I'm a musician and in high school used to enter

competitions. I always did really well but she could usually only find

fault with it.

In college I entered some art into an art show & won a small scholarship. I

didn't even bother to tell her lol.

Good for you for being able to see it is her loss. I like what you said,

" Her color blindness is her loss " . So very true!

Mia

>

[Guest guest]

Since she didn't, I'll say it...CONGRATS!

It's always really nice when work gets recognized, and so this is awesome!

Holly

>

>

> I received very exciting news this morning, that some of my work which was

> entered into a regional competition won the Award of Excellence. There is a

> banquet in March where I will receive a framed paper award and then my work

> is also entered into an international competition. I am relatively new to

> this field of work and this is a huge pat on the back for me.

>

> I called nada this morning to tell her the news. I heard things like, " Oh

> for God sake " , " I'll be darned " , " A banquet? Is that all you get? No

> monetary award? " " Well that's good, I guess " .

>

> She couldn't say congratulations if her life depended on it. But I

> considered the source beforehand and called only because I needed to tell

> somebody the news. My life has ceased to depend upon gaining her approval!

>

> I could have won an academy award and I'd have gotten nothing but this sort

> of response from her. She painted me black when I was 5 years old. Black is

> black and there's no changing it in her eyes. Her color blindness is her

> loss!

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Since she didn't, I'll say it...CONGRATS!

It's always really nice when work gets recognized, and so this is awesome!

Holly

>

>

> I received very exciting news this morning, that some of my work which was

> entered into a regional competition won the Award of Excellence. There is a

> banquet in March where I will receive a framed paper award and then my work

> is also entered into an international competition. I am relatively new to

> this field of work and this is a huge pat on the back for me.

>

> I called nada this morning to tell her the news. I heard things like, " Oh

> for God sake " , " I'll be darned " , " A banquet? Is that all you get? No

> monetary award? " " Well that's good, I guess " .

>

> She couldn't say congratulations if her life depended on it. But I

> considered the source beforehand and called only because I needed to tell

> somebody the news. My life has ceased to depend upon gaining her approval!

>

> I could have won an academy award and I'd have gotten nothing but this sort

> of response from her. She painted me black when I was 5 years old. Black is

> black and there's no changing it in her eyes. Her color blindness is her

> loss!

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Congrats!!!! That's awesome!!

Yeah my dad did that when I started my career. It was the last bit of news

he got from me, pretty much.

>

>

> , that's wonderful news! Congrats to you, how exciting =)

>

> Sorry your nada can't offer the same level of excitement. It reminds me of

> my own nada a bit. I'm a musician and in high school used to enter

> competitions. I always did really well but she could usually only find

> fault with it.

>

> In college I entered some art into an art show & won a small scholarship. I

> didn't even bother to tell her lol.

>

> Good for you for being able to see it is her loss. I like what you said,

> " Her color blindness is her loss " . So very true!

>

> Mia

>

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Congrats!!!! That's awesome!!

Yeah my dad did that when I started my career. It was the last bit of news

he got from me, pretty much.

>

>

> , that's wonderful news! Congrats to you, how exciting =)

>

> Sorry your nada can't offer the same level of excitement. It reminds me of

> my own nada a bit. I'm a musician and in high school used to enter

> competitions. I always did really well but she could usually only find

> fault with it.

>

> In college I entered some art into an art show & won a small scholarship. I

> didn't even bother to tell her lol.

>

> Good for you for being able to see it is her loss. I like what you said,

> " Her color blindness is her loss " . So very true!

>

> Mia

>

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree: , that tepid not-a-congratulation came from your not-a-mom who

painted you " all-black " , which means nothing you can ever possibly do will ever

be good enough. Its so very unfair. All too often, that's how nada treated

little Sister throughout her life, and Sister has done some pretty amazing and

remarkable and brave things. I let both Sister and her son, my Nephew know how

proud *I* am of them both.

Even I, who was mostly golden most of the time, got that " That's nice...is that

all? " kind of response from nada to good news too, so I know how deflating it

feels.

So, here's a big WOOO HOOOOO!! and a sincere CONGRATULATIONS!! from me, too.

You deserve a BIG pat on the back!

-Annie

>

> Congrats!!!! That's awesome!!

>

> Yeah my dad did that when I started my career. It was the last bit of news

> he got from me, pretty much.

[Guest guest]

I agree: , that tepid not-a-congratulation came from your not-a-mom who

painted you " all-black " , which means nothing you can ever possibly do will ever

be good enough. Its so very unfair. All too often, that's how nada treated

little Sister throughout her life, and Sister has done some pretty amazing and

remarkable and brave things. I let both Sister and her son, my Nephew know how

proud *I* am of them both.

Even I, who was mostly golden most of the time, got that " That's nice...is that

all? " kind of response from nada to good news too, so I know how deflating it

feels.

So, here's a big WOOO HOOOOO!! and a sincere CONGRATULATIONS!! from me, too.

You deserve a BIG pat on the back!

-Annie

>

> Congrats!!!! That's awesome!!

>

> Yeah my dad did that when I started my career. It was the last bit of news

> he got from me, pretty much.

[Guest guest]

I agree: , that tepid not-a-congratulation came from your not-a-mom who

painted you " all-black " , which means nothing you can ever possibly do will ever

be good enough. Its so very unfair. All too often, that's how nada treated

little Sister throughout her life, and Sister has done some pretty amazing and

remarkable and brave things. I let both Sister and her son, my Nephew know how

proud *I* am of them both.

Even I, who was mostly golden most of the time, got that " That's nice...is that

all? " kind of response from nada to good news too, so I know how deflating it

feels.

So, here's a big WOOO HOOOOO!! and a sincere CONGRATULATIONS!! from me, too.

You deserve a BIG pat on the back!

-Annie

>

> Congrats!!!! That's awesome!!

>

> Yeah my dad did that when I started my career. It was the last bit of news

> he got from me, pretty much.

[Guest guest]

Congratulations!! That is such amazing news!!

--.

[Guest guest]

She painted me black when I was 5 years old. Black is black

and there's no changing it in her eyes.

, Black is beautiful and so are you for surviving nada.

Kay

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry, ......like you, I keep hoping that, somehow, my mom will be

the mom I would like her to be........but it seems unlikely; this " reality "

threatens to crush me.

Alastriona

Subject: TYPICAL RESPONSE TO ME

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Monday, January 10, 2011, 11:30 AM

I received very exciting news this morning, that some of my work which was

entered into a regional competition won the Award of Excellence.  There is a

banquet in March where I will receive a framed paper award and then my work is

also entered into an international competition.  I am relatively new to this

field of work and this is a huge pat on the back for me. 

I called nada this morning to tell her the news.  I heard things like, " Oh for

God sake " , " I'll be darned " , " A banquet? Is that all you get?  No monetary

award? " " Well that's good, I guess " .

She couldn't say congratulations if her life depended on it.  But I considered

the source beforehand and called only because I needed to tell somebody the

news.  My life has ceased to depend upon gaining her approval!

I could have won an academy award and I'd have gotten nothing but this sort of

response from her.  She painted me black when I was 5 years old.  Black is black

and there's no changing it in her eyes.  Her color blindness is her loss!

------------------------------------

**This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The Essential

Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop

Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.** Problems? Write

@.... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST.

To unsub from this list, send a blank email to

WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe .

Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and

" Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find)

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry, ......like you, I keep hoping that, somehow, my mom will be

the mom I would like her to be........but it seems unlikely; this " reality "

threatens to crush me.

Alastriona

Subject: TYPICAL RESPONSE TO ME

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Monday, January 10, 2011, 11:30 AM

I received very exciting news this morning, that some of my work which was

entered into a regional competition won the Award of Excellence.  There is a

banquet in March where I will receive a framed paper award and then my work is

also entered into an international competition.  I am relatively new to this

field of work and this is a huge pat on the back for me. 

I called nada this morning to tell her the news.  I heard things like, " Oh for

God sake " , " I'll be darned " , " A banquet? Is that all you get?  No monetary

award? " " Well that's good, I guess " .

She couldn't say congratulations if her life depended on it.  But I considered

the source beforehand and called only because I needed to tell somebody the

news.  My life has ceased to depend upon gaining her approval!

I could have won an academy award and I'd have gotten nothing but this sort of

response from her.  She painted me black when I was 5 years old.  Black is black

and there's no changing it in her eyes.  Her color blindness is her loss!

------------------------------------

**This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The Essential

Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop

Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.** Problems? Write

@.... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST.

To unsub from this list, send a blank email to

WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe .

Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and

" Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find)

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry, ......like you, I keep hoping that, somehow, my mom will be

the mom I would like her to be........but it seems unlikely; this " reality "

threatens to crush me.

Alastriona

Subject: TYPICAL RESPONSE TO ME

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Monday, January 10, 2011, 11:30 AM

I received very exciting news this morning, that some of my work which was

entered into a regional competition won the Award of Excellence.  There is a

banquet in March where I will receive a framed paper award and then my work is

also entered into an international competition.  I am relatively new to this

field of work and this is a huge pat on the back for me. 

I called nada this morning to tell her the news.  I heard things like, " Oh for

God sake " , " I'll be darned " , " A banquet? Is that all you get?  No monetary

award? " " Well that's good, I guess " .

She couldn't say congratulations if her life depended on it.  But I considered

the source beforehand and called only because I needed to tell somebody the

news.  My life has ceased to depend upon gaining her approval!

I could have won an academy award and I'd have gotten nothing but this sort of

response from her.  She painted me black when I was 5 years old.  Black is black

and there's no changing it in her eyes.  Her color blindness is her loss!

------------------------------------

**This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The Essential

Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop

Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.** Problems? Write

@.... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST.

To unsub from this list, send a blank email to

WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe .

Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and

" Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find)

[Guest guest]

> , Black is beautiful and so are you for surviving nada.

> Kay

Love this Kay!!!

[Guest guest]

> , Black is beautiful and so are you for surviving nada.

> Kay

Love this Kay!!!

[Guest guest]

karen, Thank you, so glad I could say something comforting.

Kay

>

>

> > , Black is beautiful and so are you for surviving nada.

> > Kay

>

>

> Love this Kay!!!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

--

CONGRATULATIONS!! That's HUGE!!! Excellent work! Considering you're fairly

new to the field, that is even more impressive! Great work!

I had to laugh (in a way) when I read your post. For my nada, it's all about

the glory or the money. If you don't get rich overnight and/or you don't become

instantly famous, it's not worth anything!!

I remember congratulating a mutual friend in front of nada. This person had

done something so significant at work, it will make international headlines once

it becomes public. Very significant stuff that will serve countless people.

When nada heard about it, she asked two things: 1) do you get a lot of money

for it? and 2) will you become famous?

This person started: " no, I won't get rich overnight " nada slumped her

shoulders, dismissed him with a wave of her hand, and walked away.

Wow.

I have to laugh!!

Again, kudos. You've come a long way, baby!

Blessings,

Karla

>

> I received very exciting news this morning, that some of my work which was

entered into a regional competition won the Award of Excellence. There is a

banquet in March where I will receive a framed paper award and then my work is

also entered into an international competition. I am relatively new to this

field of work and this is a huge pat on the back for me.

>

> I called nada this morning to tell her the news. I heard things like, " Oh for

God sake " , " I'll be darned " , " A banquet? Is that all you get? No monetary

award? " " Well that's good, I guess " .

>

> She couldn't say congratulations if her life depended on it. But I considered

the source beforehand and called only because I needed to tell somebody the

news. My life has ceased to depend upon gaining her approval!

>

> I could have won an academy award and I'd have gotten nothing but this sort of

response from her. She painted me black when I was 5 years old. Black is black

and there's no changing it in her eyes. Her color blindness is her loss!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

--

CONGRATULATIONS!! That's HUGE!!! Excellent work! Considering you're fairly

new to the field, that is even more impressive! Great work!

I had to laugh (in a way) when I read your post. For my nada, it's all about

the glory or the money. If you don't get rich overnight and/or you don't become

instantly famous, it's not worth anything!!

I remember congratulating a mutual friend in front of nada. This person had

done something so significant at work, it will make international headlines once

it becomes public. Very significant stuff that will serve countless people.

When nada heard about it, she asked two things: 1) do you get a lot of money

for it? and 2) will you become famous?

This person started: " no, I won't get rich overnight " nada slumped her

shoulders, dismissed him with a wave of her hand, and walked away.

Wow.

I have to laugh!!

Again, kudos. You've come a long way, baby!

Blessings,

Karla

>

> I received very exciting news this morning, that some of my work which was

entered into a regional competition won the Award of Excellence. There is a

banquet in March where I will receive a framed paper award and then my work is

also entered into an international competition. I am relatively new to this

field of work and this is a huge pat on the back for me.

>

> I called nada this morning to tell her the news. I heard things like, " Oh for

God sake " , " I'll be darned " , " A banquet? Is that all you get? No monetary

award? " " Well that's good, I guess " .

>

> She couldn't say congratulations if her life depended on it. But I considered

the source beforehand and called only because I needed to tell somebody the

news. My life has ceased to depend upon gaining her approval!

>

> I could have won an academy award and I'd have gotten nothing but this sort of

response from her. She painted me black when I was 5 years old. Black is black

and there's no changing it in her eyes. Her color blindness is her loss!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

--

CONGRATULATIONS!! That's HUGE!!! Excellent work! Considering you're fairly

new to the field, that is even more impressive! Great work!

I had to laugh (in a way) when I read your post. For my nada, it's all about

the glory or the money. If you don't get rich overnight and/or you don't become

instantly famous, it's not worth anything!!

I remember congratulating a mutual friend in front of nada. This person had

done something so significant at work, it will make international headlines once

it becomes public. Very significant stuff that will serve countless people.

When nada heard about it, she asked two things: 1) do you get a lot of money

for it? and 2) will you become famous?

This person started: " no, I won't get rich overnight " nada slumped her

shoulders, dismissed him with a wave of her hand, and walked away.

Wow.

I have to laugh!!

Again, kudos. You've come a long way, baby!

Blessings,

Karla

>

> I received very exciting news this morning, that some of my work which was

entered into a regional competition won the Award of Excellence. There is a

banquet in March where I will receive a framed paper award and then my work is

also entered into an international competition. I am relatively new to this

field of work and this is a huge pat on the back for me.

>

> I called nada this morning to tell her the news. I heard things like, " Oh for

God sake " , " I'll be darned " , " A banquet? Is that all you get? No monetary

award? " " Well that's good, I guess " .

>

> She couldn't say congratulations if her life depended on it. But I considered

the source beforehand and called only because I needed to tell somebody the

news. My life has ceased to depend upon gaining her approval!

>

> I could have won an academy award and I'd have gotten nothing but this sort of

response from her. She painted me black when I was 5 years old. Black is black

and there's no changing it in her eyes. Her color blindness is her loss!

>

>

>