Re: Chopped liver

[Guest guest]

Thinking back on my own journey and also

based on some of the other lists I’ve been on, some people might feel

(and I include my former self) that if you are not counting calories, or

points, or not eating carbs, or whatever they themselves are doing, you are not

to be taken seriously. Food/dieting is such a huge issue that it takes over

some people’s lives and since you are not “suffering” you are

not taken seriously.

Kate

From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of mckella

Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011

7:01 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject:

Chopped liver

So this is an interesting issue.

I was always a big kid (big as in stocky, not fat) and I went on my first diet

at 13. I lost 40 pounds in three months, and of course it eventually came back.

For the next ten years I yo-yo dieted through a 50 pound weight range, cycled

through varying degrees of food obsession, developed depression and anxiety

problems, and hated my body.

I found IE a few years ago, but it finally " clicked " in March and I

lost 30 pounds over the summer, which brought me to my natural weight. My

weight has been stable for the past few months and I eat and move what/when I

want.

I feel like people don't take me seriously now. I sometimes even get dirty

looks. I don't bring up dieting or weight loss or anything like that unless

someone else does first, but if I throw in my 2 cents, even when invited, I say

that I don't believe in dieting and I think the best thing to do is learn to

listen to your body. You wouldn't believe the looks I get. Dirty looks from

ex-coworkers from earlier this year when I was heavy (my ex-supervisor just

quit weight watchers) and especially women who are older than me. I'm 23,

5'8 " and about a size 6-8. I'm a pear-shape and I've never had children,

so I have a naturally small waist and flat stomach. I'd say I'm fairly

attractive. Apparently, this voids anything I have to say about food and body

image.

Even women who know me, family members say " Well you've never had to

struggle with your weight " or " You're young, you don't know what it's

like " or " easy for you to say, you're young and skinny and you don't

have to diet. " Apparently they don't remember me 45 pounds heavier, or 10

pounds lighter than I am now, then heavy again. The same women who used to

praise me whenever I lost weight in the past.

I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. When I was heavy, people respected

the fact that I knew what it was like to struggle with food. Now I feel like

people write me off as a fluke. I don't shove IE down people's throats, but I

don't participate in diet talk and I'm not sky about explaining why, though I

do so respectfully.

I may not have dieted as long as many women, and I maybe my ease with my body

and food makes people uncomfortable. I put a tremendous amount of work into

fixing my food issues, and it was certainly not a fluke. I guess it just hurts

that even women who are close to me think I don't know what I'm talking about.

Has anyone experienced this problem, or do I just have it easy because I'm not

old enough to rent a car in most states?

-McKella

[Guest guest]

Thinking back on my own journey and also

based on some of the other lists I’ve been on, some people might feel

(and I include my former self) that if you are not counting calories, or

points, or not eating carbs, or whatever they themselves are doing, you are not

to be taken seriously. Food/dieting is such a huge issue that it takes over

some people’s lives and since you are not “suffering” you are

not taken seriously.

Kate

From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of mckella

Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011

7:01 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject:

Chopped liver

So this is an interesting issue.

I was always a big kid (big as in stocky, not fat) and I went on my first diet

at 13. I lost 40 pounds in three months, and of course it eventually came back.

For the next ten years I yo-yo dieted through a 50 pound weight range, cycled

through varying degrees of food obsession, developed depression and anxiety

problems, and hated my body.

I found IE a few years ago, but it finally " clicked " in March and I

lost 30 pounds over the summer, which brought me to my natural weight. My

weight has been stable for the past few months and I eat and move what/when I

want.

I feel like people don't take me seriously now. I sometimes even get dirty

looks. I don't bring up dieting or weight loss or anything like that unless

someone else does first, but if I throw in my 2 cents, even when invited, I say

that I don't believe in dieting and I think the best thing to do is learn to

listen to your body. You wouldn't believe the looks I get. Dirty looks from

ex-coworkers from earlier this year when I was heavy (my ex-supervisor just

quit weight watchers) and especially women who are older than me. I'm 23,

5'8 " and about a size 6-8. I'm a pear-shape and I've never had children,

so I have a naturally small waist and flat stomach. I'd say I'm fairly

attractive. Apparently, this voids anything I have to say about food and body

image.

Even women who know me, family members say " Well you've never had to

struggle with your weight " or " You're young, you don't know what it's

like " or " easy for you to say, you're young and skinny and you don't

have to diet. " Apparently they don't remember me 45 pounds heavier, or 10

pounds lighter than I am now, then heavy again. The same women who used to

praise me whenever I lost weight in the past.

I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. When I was heavy, people respected

the fact that I knew what it was like to struggle with food. Now I feel like

people write me off as a fluke. I don't shove IE down people's throats, but I

don't participate in diet talk and I'm not sky about explaining why, though I

do so respectfully.

I may not have dieted as long as many women, and I maybe my ease with my body

and food makes people uncomfortable. I put a tremendous amount of work into

fixing my food issues, and it was certainly not a fluke. I guess it just hurts

that even women who are close to me think I don't know what I'm talking about.

Has anyone experienced this problem, or do I just have it easy because I'm not

old enough to rent a car in most states?

-McKella

[Guest guest]

Thinking back on my own journey and also

based on some of the other lists I’ve been on, some people might feel

(and I include my former self) that if you are not counting calories, or

points, or not eating carbs, or whatever they themselves are doing, you are not

to be taken seriously. Food/dieting is such a huge issue that it takes over

some people’s lives and since you are not “suffering” you are

not taken seriously.

Kate

From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of mckella

Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011

7:01 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject:

Chopped liver

So this is an interesting issue.

I was always a big kid (big as in stocky, not fat) and I went on my first diet

at 13. I lost 40 pounds in three months, and of course it eventually came back.

For the next ten years I yo-yo dieted through a 50 pound weight range, cycled

through varying degrees of food obsession, developed depression and anxiety

problems, and hated my body.

I found IE a few years ago, but it finally " clicked " in March and I

lost 30 pounds over the summer, which brought me to my natural weight. My

weight has been stable for the past few months and I eat and move what/when I

want.

I feel like people don't take me seriously now. I sometimes even get dirty

looks. I don't bring up dieting or weight loss or anything like that unless

someone else does first, but if I throw in my 2 cents, even when invited, I say

that I don't believe in dieting and I think the best thing to do is learn to

listen to your body. You wouldn't believe the looks I get. Dirty looks from

ex-coworkers from earlier this year when I was heavy (my ex-supervisor just

quit weight watchers) and especially women who are older than me. I'm 23,

5'8 " and about a size 6-8. I'm a pear-shape and I've never had children,

so I have a naturally small waist and flat stomach. I'd say I'm fairly

attractive. Apparently, this voids anything I have to say about food and body

image.

Even women who know me, family members say " Well you've never had to

struggle with your weight " or " You're young, you don't know what it's

like " or " easy for you to say, you're young and skinny and you don't

have to diet. " Apparently they don't remember me 45 pounds heavier, or 10

pounds lighter than I am now, then heavy again. The same women who used to

praise me whenever I lost weight in the past.

I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. When I was heavy, people respected

the fact that I knew what it was like to struggle with food. Now I feel like

people write me off as a fluke. I don't shove IE down people's throats, but I

don't participate in diet talk and I'm not sky about explaining why, though I

do so respectfully.

I may not have dieted as long as many women, and I maybe my ease with my body

and food makes people uncomfortable. I put a tremendous amount of work into

fixing my food issues, and it was certainly not a fluke. I guess it just hurts

that even women who are close to me think I don't know what I'm talking about.

Has anyone experienced this problem, or do I just have it easy because I'm not

old enough to rent a car in most states?

-McKella

[Guest guest]

McKella, it makes me smile to read how you have been able to 'get' IE for

yourself - especially at a young age! It is difficult when those around you

remain so caught up in their own misery that they can't help but spill it over

onto anyone in their vicinity. So you get the role of little boy in the Emperor

with no clothes drama.

It does seem to me that human bodies tend to 'thicken' as time passes. Not all,

but enough to have words like 'matronly' be added to our language. Men become

'substantial' which used to be associated with wealth as well as power. The

current difficulty seems to be a (I would say unnatural) fight against aging.

Just like we can be fit at any size, so can be be healthy at any age! And I have

SO come to dis-associate (forced) 'thin' with health! Depriving food = decreased

nutriments. How can that not effect health?

Sadly we live in an inverted bell curve of age demographics times. I wouldn't be

at all surprised that those who are poo-pooing you are really jealous or at

worse missing you from the misery-loves-company group they have secured

themselves into. Plus those who are 'older' probably freak a bit when they see

'youth' - especially one like you who in their minds do not struggle like they

had and still do. Too bad they don't see that the struggle is what has gotten

them miserable! Do enjoy your natural weight and I hope you can find a way to

shrug off extraneous EXternal input like water off a duck's back when it is

flung at you. Maybe a silent " So sad " acknowledgement of others opinions and

actions could help you re-frame the event to its actual perspective?

The only concern I would have for your reaction of not being taken seriously is

if YOU also feel that way (about yourself). If you equate 'substance' with

seriousness you may find that you will return to a larger weight to 'have' what

you want. I remember some good information in When Women Stop Hating Their

Bodies along these lines.

Bottom line - I think you are not only doing fine, but I hope you can not let

others MIS-direct you away from what YOU are. I envy you having made this

connection so young - BRAVO for you!

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> So this is an interesting issue.

>

> I was always a big kid (big as in stocky, not fat) and I went on my first diet

at 13. I lost 40 pounds in three months, and of course it eventually came back.

For the next ten years I yo-yo dieted through a 50 pound weight range, cycled

through varying degrees of food obsession, developed depression and anxiety

problems, and hated my body.

>

> I found IE a few years ago, but it finally " clicked " in March and I lost 30

pounds over the summer, which brought me to my natural weight. My weight has

been stable for the past few months and I eat and move what/when I want.

>

> I feel like people don't take me seriously now. I sometimes even get dirty

looks. I don't bring up dieting or weight loss or anything like that unless

someone else does first, but if I throw in my 2 cents, even when invited, I say

that I don't believe in dieting and I think the best thing to do is learn to

listen to your body. You wouldn't believe the looks I get. Dirty looks from

ex-coworkers from earlier this year when I was heavy (my ex-supervisor just quit

weight watchers) and especially women who are older than me. I'm 23, 5'8 " and

about a size 6-8. I'm a pear-shape and I've never had children, so I have a

naturally small waist and flat stomach. I'd say I'm fairly attractive.

Apparently, this voids anything I have to say about food and body image.

>

> Even women who know me, family members say " Well you've never had to struggle

with your weight " or " You're young, you don't know what it's like " or " easy for

you to say, you're young and skinny and you don't have to diet. " Apparently they

don't remember me 45 pounds heavier, or 10 pounds lighter than I am now, then

heavy again. The same women who used to praise me whenever I lost weight in the

past.

>

> I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. When I was heavy, people respected

the fact that I knew what it was like to struggle with food. Now I feel like

people write me off as a fluke. I don't shove IE down people's throats, but I

don't participate in diet talk and I'm not sky about explaining why, though I do

so respectfully.

>

> I may not have dieted as long as many women, and I maybe my ease with my body

and food makes people uncomfortable. I put a tremendous amount of work into

fixing my food issues, and it was certainly not a fluke. I guess it just hurts

that even women who are close to me think I don't know what I'm talking about.

>

> Has anyone experienced this problem, or do I just have it easy because I'm not

old enough to rent a car in most states?

>

> -McKella

>

[Guest guest]

McKella, it makes me smile to read how you have been able to 'get' IE for

yourself - especially at a young age! It is difficult when those around you

remain so caught up in their own misery that they can't help but spill it over

onto anyone in their vicinity. So you get the role of little boy in the Emperor

with no clothes drama.

It does seem to me that human bodies tend to 'thicken' as time passes. Not all,

but enough to have words like 'matronly' be added to our language. Men become

'substantial' which used to be associated with wealth as well as power. The

current difficulty seems to be a (I would say unnatural) fight against aging.

Just like we can be fit at any size, so can be be healthy at any age! And I have

SO come to dis-associate (forced) 'thin' with health! Depriving food = decreased

nutriments. How can that not effect health?

Sadly we live in an inverted bell curve of age demographics times. I wouldn't be

at all surprised that those who are poo-pooing you are really jealous or at

worse missing you from the misery-loves-company group they have secured

themselves into. Plus those who are 'older' probably freak a bit when they see

'youth' - especially one like you who in their minds do not struggle like they

had and still do. Too bad they don't see that the struggle is what has gotten

them miserable! Do enjoy your natural weight and I hope you can find a way to

shrug off extraneous EXternal input like water off a duck's back when it is

flung at you. Maybe a silent " So sad " acknowledgement of others opinions and

actions could help you re-frame the event to its actual perspective?

The only concern I would have for your reaction of not being taken seriously is

if YOU also feel that way (about yourself). If you equate 'substance' with

seriousness you may find that you will return to a larger weight to 'have' what

you want. I remember some good information in When Women Stop Hating Their

Bodies along these lines.

Bottom line - I think you are not only doing fine, but I hope you can not let

others MIS-direct you away from what YOU are. I envy you having made this

connection so young - BRAVO for you!

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> So this is an interesting issue.

>

> I was always a big kid (big as in stocky, not fat) and I went on my first diet

at 13. I lost 40 pounds in three months, and of course it eventually came back.

For the next ten years I yo-yo dieted through a 50 pound weight range, cycled

through varying degrees of food obsession, developed depression and anxiety

problems, and hated my body.

>

> I found IE a few years ago, but it finally " clicked " in March and I lost 30

pounds over the summer, which brought me to my natural weight. My weight has

been stable for the past few months and I eat and move what/when I want.

>

> I feel like people don't take me seriously now. I sometimes even get dirty

looks. I don't bring up dieting or weight loss or anything like that unless

someone else does first, but if I throw in my 2 cents, even when invited, I say

that I don't believe in dieting and I think the best thing to do is learn to

listen to your body. You wouldn't believe the looks I get. Dirty looks from

ex-coworkers from earlier this year when I was heavy (my ex-supervisor just quit

weight watchers) and especially women who are older than me. I'm 23, 5'8 " and

about a size 6-8. I'm a pear-shape and I've never had children, so I have a

naturally small waist and flat stomach. I'd say I'm fairly attractive.

Apparently, this voids anything I have to say about food and body image.

>

> Even women who know me, family members say " Well you've never had to struggle

with your weight " or " You're young, you don't know what it's like " or " easy for

you to say, you're young and skinny and you don't have to diet. " Apparently they

don't remember me 45 pounds heavier, or 10 pounds lighter than I am now, then

heavy again. The same women who used to praise me whenever I lost weight in the

past.

>

> I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. When I was heavy, people respected

the fact that I knew what it was like to struggle with food. Now I feel like

people write me off as a fluke. I don't shove IE down people's throats, but I

don't participate in diet talk and I'm not sky about explaining why, though I do

so respectfully.

>

> I may not have dieted as long as many women, and I maybe my ease with my body

and food makes people uncomfortable. I put a tremendous amount of work into

fixing my food issues, and it was certainly not a fluke. I guess it just hurts

that even women who are close to me think I don't know what I'm talking about.

>

> Has anyone experienced this problem, or do I just have it easy because I'm not

old enough to rent a car in most states?

>

> -McKella

>

[Guest guest]

Wanted to comment on this. I've been following IE since May 15th and have even

recently lost a close friendship over choosing it as my path of recovery. I

don't know what the problem is but in my OA-stringent ex-friend's opinion if you

were eating even a little of " forbidden foods "

each day, you are failing at recovery and on a path of self-destruction. Kate,

you put it perfectly, if you're not " suffering " from dieting/trying to lose

weight, you are not taken seriously. It's sad, but for some reason we are

socialized to consider dieting a way of life…

and heaven forbid we find another way where we can actually enjoy what we want

to eat without suffering!

Kerry

[Guest guest]

Wanted to comment on this. I've been following IE since May 15th and have even

recently lost a close friendship over choosing it as my path of recovery. I

don't know what the problem is but in my OA-stringent ex-friend's opinion if you

were eating even a little of " forbidden foods "

each day, you are failing at recovery and on a path of self-destruction. Kate,

you put it perfectly, if you're not " suffering " from dieting/trying to lose

weight, you are not taken seriously. It's sad, but for some reason we are

socialized to consider dieting a way of life…

and heaven forbid we find another way where we can actually enjoy what we want

to eat without suffering!

Kerry

[Guest guest]

Wanted to comment on this. I've been following IE since May 15th and have even

recently lost a close friendship over choosing it as my path of recovery. I

don't know what the problem is but in my OA-stringent ex-friend's opinion if you

were eating even a little of " forbidden foods "

each day, you are failing at recovery and on a path of self-destruction. Kate,

you put it perfectly, if you're not " suffering " from dieting/trying to lose

weight, you are not taken seriously. It's sad, but for some reason we are

socialized to consider dieting a way of life…

and heaven forbid we find another way where we can actually enjoy what we want

to eat without suffering!

Kerry

[Guest guest]

Hmmm, let me take a run at this... Revolving door dieting is an addiction. The

symptoms of which worsen over time. It's an addiction that most Americans

(women at least) suffer from.

Being at your natural weight (i.e., thin) without having to " pay the price "

(deprivation, suffering) is almost unheard of these days. So, when women

(mostly I assume) hear how you got it, that you aren't offering them the next

hope for automatic thinness - they have to write you off.

Because if they didn't, they'd have to look at their part in the game. The game

of " I'm not in control of myself " , " I need some big old expert outside of myself

to tell me what to eat " , " I'm hopelessly addicted " , " if I eat only artichoke

leaves and broccoli until March I can be thin, rich, beautiful and in love -

forever " , etc. Whatever. all of my problems will melt away with the fat and

life will be perfect. The dream - the high - the fantasy.

People who are marching to their own drum, and who get to be thin (need a better

word) aren't playing the game. You're not playing fair and clearly don't

deserve what others covet. It's too much to take in. That would require

thinking. Mostly we don't want to think, we want instant gratification and are

willing to set aside critical thinking in order to get it.

It's like being in a super religious culture and preaching - agnosticism. How

can they possibly take that in when their religiou is currently serving them.

Or like talking about AA in a bar. Dieting is a high - you're threatening the

myth.

Everyone at work (and practically everyone I know)diets. Everyone talks about

their latest diet, or weight gain, or weight loss and it gets wearisome. But a

lot of what people talk about is wearisome, frankly. It's prattle meant to

reiterate the norms of the group. Like monkeys grooming each other; if we're at

lunch and I want to be socially groomed by talking about something comfortable

and safe to me and you start talking about not needing grooming, I'm threatened.

You're stepping away from me. That means either I'm not normal, or you're not

normal.

IE is a divergent path that comes at a high price - initially. Most people will

never consider paying it. You have to think to do this - you have to feel - you

have to introspect - you have to be willing to wander - you have to face your

fear of getting HUGE because you're opting to find trust in yourself. Really,

it's much easier to follow a food plan, a diet, take hormone shots than it is to

step away from the whole scene, take your life and your weight into your own

hands and give up being a puppet among puppets.

Too harsh?? Enough out of me... Good topic and fun to take a look from the

other side of the other side.

Sandarah (who's very wordy lately - making a shift that hasn't quite caught up

with me yet...)

>

> So this is an interesting issue.

>

> I was always a big kid (big as in stocky, not fat) and I went on my first diet

at 13. I lost 40 pounds in three months, and of course it eventually came back.

For the next ten years I yo-yo dieted through a 50 pound weight range, cycled

through varying degrees of food obsession, developed depression and anxiety

problems, and hated my body.

>

> I found IE a few years ago, but it finally " clicked " in March and I lost 30

pounds over the summer, which brought me to my natural weight. My weight has

been stable for the past few months and I eat and move what/when I want.

>

> I feel like people don't take me seriously now. I sometimes even get dirty

looks. I don't bring up dieting or weight loss or anything like that unless

someone else does first, but if I throw in my 2 cents, even when invited, I say

that I don't believe in dieting and I think the best thing to do is learn to

listen to your body. You wouldn't believe the looks I get. Dirty looks from

ex-coworkers from earlier this year when I was heavy (my ex-supervisor just quit

weight watchers) and especially women who are older than me. I'm 23, 5'8 " and

about a size 6-8. I'm a pear-shape and I've never had children, so I have a

naturally small waist and flat stomach. I'd say I'm fairly attractive.

Apparently, this voids anything I have to say about food and body image.

>

> Even women who know me, family members say " Well you've never had to struggle

with your weight " or " You're young, you don't know what it's like " or " easy for

you to say, you're young and skinny and you don't have to diet. " Apparently they

don't remember me 45 pounds heavier, or 10 pounds lighter than I am now, then

heavy again. The same women who used to praise me whenever I lost weight in the

past.

>

> I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. When I was heavy, people respected

the fact that I knew what it was like to struggle with food. Now I feel like

people write me off as a fluke. I don't shove IE down people's throats, but I

don't participate in diet talk and I'm not sky about explaining why, though I do

so respectfully.

>

> I may not have dieted as long as many women, and I maybe my ease with my body

and food makes people uncomfortable. I put a tremendous amount of work into

fixing my food issues, and it was certainly not a fluke. I guess it just hurts

that even women who are close to me think I don't know what I'm talking about.

>

> Has anyone experienced this problem, or do I just have it easy because I'm not

old enough to rent a car in most states?

>

> -McKella

>

[Guest guest]

Hmmm, let me take a run at this... Revolving door dieting is an addiction. The

symptoms of which worsen over time. It's an addiction that most Americans

(women at least) suffer from.

Being at your natural weight (i.e., thin) without having to " pay the price "

(deprivation, suffering) is almost unheard of these days. So, when women

(mostly I assume) hear how you got it, that you aren't offering them the next

hope for automatic thinness - they have to write you off.

Because if they didn't, they'd have to look at their part in the game. The game

of " I'm not in control of myself " , " I need some big old expert outside of myself

to tell me what to eat " , " I'm hopelessly addicted " , " if I eat only artichoke

leaves and broccoli until March I can be thin, rich, beautiful and in love -

forever " , etc. Whatever. all of my problems will melt away with the fat and

life will be perfect. The dream - the high - the fantasy.

People who are marching to their own drum, and who get to be thin (need a better

word) aren't playing the game. You're not playing fair and clearly don't

deserve what others covet. It's too much to take in. That would require

thinking. Mostly we don't want to think, we want instant gratification and are

willing to set aside critical thinking in order to get it.

It's like being in a super religious culture and preaching - agnosticism. How

can they possibly take that in when their religiou is currently serving them.

Or like talking about AA in a bar. Dieting is a high - you're threatening the

myth.

Everyone at work (and practically everyone I know)diets. Everyone talks about

their latest diet, or weight gain, or weight loss and it gets wearisome. But a

lot of what people talk about is wearisome, frankly. It's prattle meant to

reiterate the norms of the group. Like monkeys grooming each other; if we're at

lunch and I want to be socially groomed by talking about something comfortable

and safe to me and you start talking about not needing grooming, I'm threatened.

You're stepping away from me. That means either I'm not normal, or you're not

normal.

IE is a divergent path that comes at a high price - initially. Most people will

never consider paying it. You have to think to do this - you have to feel - you

have to introspect - you have to be willing to wander - you have to face your

fear of getting HUGE because you're opting to find trust in yourself. Really,

it's much easier to follow a food plan, a diet, take hormone shots than it is to

step away from the whole scene, take your life and your weight into your own

hands and give up being a puppet among puppets.

Too harsh?? Enough out of me... Good topic and fun to take a look from the

other side of the other side.

Sandarah (who's very wordy lately - making a shift that hasn't quite caught up

with me yet...)

>

> So this is an interesting issue.

>

> I was always a big kid (big as in stocky, not fat) and I went on my first diet

at 13. I lost 40 pounds in three months, and of course it eventually came back.

For the next ten years I yo-yo dieted through a 50 pound weight range, cycled

through varying degrees of food obsession, developed depression and anxiety

problems, and hated my body.

>

> I found IE a few years ago, but it finally " clicked " in March and I lost 30

pounds over the summer, which brought me to my natural weight. My weight has

been stable for the past few months and I eat and move what/when I want.

>

> I feel like people don't take me seriously now. I sometimes even get dirty

looks. I don't bring up dieting or weight loss or anything like that unless

someone else does first, but if I throw in my 2 cents, even when invited, I say

that I don't believe in dieting and I think the best thing to do is learn to

listen to your body. You wouldn't believe the looks I get. Dirty looks from

ex-coworkers from earlier this year when I was heavy (my ex-supervisor just quit

weight watchers) and especially women who are older than me. I'm 23, 5'8 " and

about a size 6-8. I'm a pear-shape and I've never had children, so I have a

naturally small waist and flat stomach. I'd say I'm fairly attractive.

Apparently, this voids anything I have to say about food and body image.

>

> Even women who know me, family members say " Well you've never had to struggle

with your weight " or " You're young, you don't know what it's like " or " easy for

you to say, you're young and skinny and you don't have to diet. " Apparently they

don't remember me 45 pounds heavier, or 10 pounds lighter than I am now, then

heavy again. The same women who used to praise me whenever I lost weight in the

past.

>

> I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. When I was heavy, people respected

the fact that I knew what it was like to struggle with food. Now I feel like

people write me off as a fluke. I don't shove IE down people's throats, but I

don't participate in diet talk and I'm not sky about explaining why, though I do

so respectfully.

>

> I may not have dieted as long as many women, and I maybe my ease with my body

and food makes people uncomfortable. I put a tremendous amount of work into

fixing my food issues, and it was certainly not a fluke. I guess it just hurts

that even women who are close to me think I don't know what I'm talking about.

>

> Has anyone experienced this problem, or do I just have it easy because I'm not

old enough to rent a car in most states?

>

> -McKella

>

[Guest guest]

Hmmm, let me take a run at this... Revolving door dieting is an addiction. The

symptoms of which worsen over time. It's an addiction that most Americans

(women at least) suffer from.

Being at your natural weight (i.e., thin) without having to " pay the price "

(deprivation, suffering) is almost unheard of these days. So, when women

(mostly I assume) hear how you got it, that you aren't offering them the next

hope for automatic thinness - they have to write you off.

Because if they didn't, they'd have to look at their part in the game. The game

of " I'm not in control of myself " , " I need some big old expert outside of myself

to tell me what to eat " , " I'm hopelessly addicted " , " if I eat only artichoke

leaves and broccoli until March I can be thin, rich, beautiful and in love -

forever " , etc. Whatever. all of my problems will melt away with the fat and

life will be perfect. The dream - the high - the fantasy.

People who are marching to their own drum, and who get to be thin (need a better

word) aren't playing the game. You're not playing fair and clearly don't

deserve what others covet. It's too much to take in. That would require

thinking. Mostly we don't want to think, we want instant gratification and are

willing to set aside critical thinking in order to get it.

It's like being in a super religious culture and preaching - agnosticism. How

can they possibly take that in when their religiou is currently serving them.

Or like talking about AA in a bar. Dieting is a high - you're threatening the

myth.

Everyone at work (and practically everyone I know)diets. Everyone talks about

their latest diet, or weight gain, or weight loss and it gets wearisome. But a

lot of what people talk about is wearisome, frankly. It's prattle meant to

reiterate the norms of the group. Like monkeys grooming each other; if we're at

lunch and I want to be socially groomed by talking about something comfortable

and safe to me and you start talking about not needing grooming, I'm threatened.

You're stepping away from me. That means either I'm not normal, or you're not

normal.

IE is a divergent path that comes at a high price - initially. Most people will

never consider paying it. You have to think to do this - you have to feel - you

have to introspect - you have to be willing to wander - you have to face your

fear of getting HUGE because you're opting to find trust in yourself. Really,

it's much easier to follow a food plan, a diet, take hormone shots than it is to

step away from the whole scene, take your life and your weight into your own

hands and give up being a puppet among puppets.

Too harsh?? Enough out of me... Good topic and fun to take a look from the

other side of the other side.

Sandarah (who's very wordy lately - making a shift that hasn't quite caught up

with me yet...)

>

> So this is an interesting issue.

>

> I was always a big kid (big as in stocky, not fat) and I went on my first diet

at 13. I lost 40 pounds in three months, and of course it eventually came back.

For the next ten years I yo-yo dieted through a 50 pound weight range, cycled

through varying degrees of food obsession, developed depression and anxiety

problems, and hated my body.

>

> I found IE a few years ago, but it finally " clicked " in March and I lost 30

pounds over the summer, which brought me to my natural weight. My weight has

been stable for the past few months and I eat and move what/when I want.

>

> I feel like people don't take me seriously now. I sometimes even get dirty

looks. I don't bring up dieting or weight loss or anything like that unless

someone else does first, but if I throw in my 2 cents, even when invited, I say

that I don't believe in dieting and I think the best thing to do is learn to

listen to your body. You wouldn't believe the looks I get. Dirty looks from

ex-coworkers from earlier this year when I was heavy (my ex-supervisor just quit

weight watchers) and especially women who are older than me. I'm 23, 5'8 " and

about a size 6-8. I'm a pear-shape and I've never had children, so I have a

naturally small waist and flat stomach. I'd say I'm fairly attractive.

Apparently, this voids anything I have to say about food and body image.

>

> Even women who know me, family members say " Well you've never had to struggle

with your weight " or " You're young, you don't know what it's like " or " easy for

you to say, you're young and skinny and you don't have to diet. " Apparently they

don't remember me 45 pounds heavier, or 10 pounds lighter than I am now, then

heavy again. The same women who used to praise me whenever I lost weight in the

past.

>

> I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. When I was heavy, people respected

the fact that I knew what it was like to struggle with food. Now I feel like

people write me off as a fluke. I don't shove IE down people's throats, but I

don't participate in diet talk and I'm not sky about explaining why, though I do

so respectfully.

>

> I may not have dieted as long as many women, and I maybe my ease with my body

and food makes people uncomfortable. I put a tremendous amount of work into

fixing my food issues, and it was certainly not a fluke. I guess it just hurts

that even women who are close to me think I don't know what I'm talking about.

>

> Has anyone experienced this problem, or do I just have it easy because I'm not

old enough to rent a car in most states?

>

> -McKella

>

[Guest guest]

I really like your post and everyone's responses to it. My inclination is to

not talk about it at all. I'm royally sick of " diet talk " , but I guess I've told

a few people that I'm not deleting, and I did lend my Intuitive Eating book to a

friend, who's husband wanted to talk to me about it because he said it's getting

HIM in a lot of trouble, and he really wanted MY take on all of it, which I

shared with him. But then I haven't lost any weight either, so am still

" substantial " . What a totally messed up society we live in, if everyone is

expected to " struggle " with what they eat. Crazy.

Tilley

>

> Wanted to comment on this. I've been following IE since May 15th and have

even recently lost a close friendship over choosing it as my path of recovery.

I don't know what the problem is but in my OA-stringent ex-friend's opinion if

you were eating even a little of " forbidden foods "

> each day, you are failing at recovery and on a path of self-destruction.

Kate, you put it perfectly, if you're not " suffering " from dieting/trying to

lose weight, you are not taken seriously. It's sad, but for some reason we are

socialized to consider dieting a way of life…

> and heaven forbid we find another way where we can actually enjoy what we want

to eat without suffering!

>

> Kerry

>

[Guest guest]

I really appreciate everyone's comments!

I do feel like a deviant in society for not playing by the rules, but I'm used

to that. I'm an artist and a writer and I grew up in a very...um... " not-artsy "

community, so I always felt like a flamingo in a flock of sparrows. I was quirky

and different and kids my age didn't really get me, but sometimes adults

appreciated me. Trying to fit in is what got me into food obsession in the first

place!

Katcha, I think I'll go read WWSTHB again, but being poo-pooed doesn't bother me

enough to ignore my body's signals just so I can fit in. I know my purpose is to

stand out, to create and to live my life in a way that aligns with my values,

even if that means a few dirty looks here and there. I may be young, but I've

spent too many years trying to please everyone else and follow the rules that

don't even work.

Come to think of it, this idea recently came up in an overeating experience,

where my husband and I ate at my favorite restaurant with some of our friends.

They're nice people, but they tend to be quite crude. I ate until I was

uncomfortably stuffed, but I didn't feel guilty. I searched myself for the

source of that drive to overeat, and I realized that I was uncomfortable with

the conversation.

I've always been pretty quiet and afraid to rock the boat, but I realized that I

do have the power to speak up, or leave situations like that. This is a huge

step, and it's no different than choosing to eat intuitively in a society that

demands that I diet and hate my body until I can get it to look like

Aniston's.

-McKella

-Going against the grain since 1988

> >

> > So this is an interesting issue.

> >

> > I was always a big kid (big as in stocky, not fat) and I went on my first

diet at 13. I lost 40 pounds in three months, and of course it eventually came

back. For the next ten years I yo-yo dieted through a 50 pound weight range,

cycled through varying degrees of food obsession, developed depression and

anxiety problems, and hated my body.

> >

> > I found IE a few years ago, but it finally " clicked " in March and I lost 30

pounds over the summer, which brought me to my natural weight. My weight has

been stable for the past few months and I eat and move what/when I want.

> >

> > I feel like people don't take me seriously now. I sometimes even get dirty

looks. I don't bring up dieting or weight loss or anything like that unless

someone else does first, but if I throw in my 2 cents, even when invited, I say

that I don't believe in dieting and I think the best thing to do is learn to

listen to your body. You wouldn't believe the looks I get. Dirty looks from

ex-coworkers from earlier this year when I was heavy (my ex-supervisor just quit

weight watchers) and especially women who are older than me. I'm 23, 5'8 " and

about a size 6-8. I'm a pear-shape and I've never had children, so I have a

naturally small waist and flat stomach. I'd say I'm fairly attractive.

Apparently, this voids anything I have to say about food and body image.

> >

> > Even women who know me, family members say " Well you've never had to

struggle with your weight " or " You're young, you don't know what it's like " or

" easy for you to say, you're young and skinny and you don't have to diet. "

Apparently they don't remember me 45 pounds heavier, or 10 pounds lighter than I

am now, then heavy again. The same women who used to praise me whenever I lost

weight in the past.

> >

> > I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. When I was heavy, people

respected the fact that I knew what it was like to struggle with food. Now I

feel like people write me off as a fluke. I don't shove IE down people's

throats, but I don't participate in diet talk and I'm not sky about explaining

why, though I do so respectfully.

> >

> > I may not have dieted as long as many women, and I maybe my ease with my

body and food makes people uncomfortable. I put a tremendous amount of work into

fixing my food issues, and it was certainly not a fluke. I guess it just hurts

that even women who are close to me think I don't know what I'm talking about.

> >

> > Has anyone experienced this problem, or do I just have it easy because I'm

not old enough to rent a car in most states?

> >

> > -McKella

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I really appreciate everyone's comments!

I do feel like a deviant in society for not playing by the rules, but I'm used

to that. I'm an artist and a writer and I grew up in a very...um... " not-artsy "

community, so I always felt like a flamingo in a flock of sparrows. I was quirky

and different and kids my age didn't really get me, but sometimes adults

appreciated me. Trying to fit in is what got me into food obsession in the first

place!

Katcha, I think I'll go read WWSTHB again, but being poo-pooed doesn't bother me

enough to ignore my body's signals just so I can fit in. I know my purpose is to

stand out, to create and to live my life in a way that aligns with my values,

even if that means a few dirty looks here and there. I may be young, but I've

spent too many years trying to please everyone else and follow the rules that

don't even work.

Come to think of it, this idea recently came up in an overeating experience,

where my husband and I ate at my favorite restaurant with some of our friends.

They're nice people, but they tend to be quite crude. I ate until I was

uncomfortably stuffed, but I didn't feel guilty. I searched myself for the

source of that drive to overeat, and I realized that I was uncomfortable with

the conversation.

I've always been pretty quiet and afraid to rock the boat, but I realized that I

do have the power to speak up, or leave situations like that. This is a huge

step, and it's no different than choosing to eat intuitively in a society that

demands that I diet and hate my body until I can get it to look like

Aniston's.

-McKella

-Going against the grain since 1988

> >

> > So this is an interesting issue.

> >

> > I was always a big kid (big as in stocky, not fat) and I went on my first

diet at 13. I lost 40 pounds in three months, and of course it eventually came

back. For the next ten years I yo-yo dieted through a 50 pound weight range,

cycled through varying degrees of food obsession, developed depression and

anxiety problems, and hated my body.

> >

> > I found IE a few years ago, but it finally " clicked " in March and I lost 30

pounds over the summer, which brought me to my natural weight. My weight has

been stable for the past few months and I eat and move what/when I want.

> >

> > I feel like people don't take me seriously now. I sometimes even get dirty

looks. I don't bring up dieting or weight loss or anything like that unless

someone else does first, but if I throw in my 2 cents, even when invited, I say

that I don't believe in dieting and I think the best thing to do is learn to

listen to your body. You wouldn't believe the looks I get. Dirty looks from

ex-coworkers from earlier this year when I was heavy (my ex-supervisor just quit

weight watchers) and especially women who are older than me. I'm 23, 5'8 " and

about a size 6-8. I'm a pear-shape and I've never had children, so I have a

naturally small waist and flat stomach. I'd say I'm fairly attractive.

Apparently, this voids anything I have to say about food and body image.

> >

> > Even women who know me, family members say " Well you've never had to

struggle with your weight " or " You're young, you don't know what it's like " or

" easy for you to say, you're young and skinny and you don't have to diet. "

Apparently they don't remember me 45 pounds heavier, or 10 pounds lighter than I

am now, then heavy again. The same women who used to praise me whenever I lost

weight in the past.

> >

> > I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. When I was heavy, people

respected the fact that I knew what it was like to struggle with food. Now I

feel like people write me off as a fluke. I don't shove IE down people's

throats, but I don't participate in diet talk and I'm not sky about explaining

why, though I do so respectfully.

> >

> > I may not have dieted as long as many women, and I maybe my ease with my

body and food makes people uncomfortable. I put a tremendous amount of work into

fixing my food issues, and it was certainly not a fluke. I guess it just hurts

that even women who are close to me think I don't know what I'm talking about.

> >

> > Has anyone experienced this problem, or do I just have it easy because I'm

not old enough to rent a car in most states?

> >

> > -McKella

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I really appreciate everyone's comments!

I do feel like a deviant in society for not playing by the rules, but I'm used

to that. I'm an artist and a writer and I grew up in a very...um... " not-artsy "

community, so I always felt like a flamingo in a flock of sparrows. I was quirky

and different and kids my age didn't really get me, but sometimes adults

appreciated me. Trying to fit in is what got me into food obsession in the first

place!

Katcha, I think I'll go read WWSTHB again, but being poo-pooed doesn't bother me

enough to ignore my body's signals just so I can fit in. I know my purpose is to

stand out, to create and to live my life in a way that aligns with my values,

even if that means a few dirty looks here and there. I may be young, but I've

spent too many years trying to please everyone else and follow the rules that

don't even work.

Come to think of it, this idea recently came up in an overeating experience,

where my husband and I ate at my favorite restaurant with some of our friends.

They're nice people, but they tend to be quite crude. I ate until I was

uncomfortably stuffed, but I didn't feel guilty. I searched myself for the

source of that drive to overeat, and I realized that I was uncomfortable with

the conversation.

I've always been pretty quiet and afraid to rock the boat, but I realized that I

do have the power to speak up, or leave situations like that. This is a huge

step, and it's no different than choosing to eat intuitively in a society that

demands that I diet and hate my body until I can get it to look like

Aniston's.

-McKella

-Going against the grain since 1988

> >

> > So this is an interesting issue.

> >

> > I was always a big kid (big as in stocky, not fat) and I went on my first

diet at 13. I lost 40 pounds in three months, and of course it eventually came

back. For the next ten years I yo-yo dieted through a 50 pound weight range,

cycled through varying degrees of food obsession, developed depression and

anxiety problems, and hated my body.

> >

> > I found IE a few years ago, but it finally " clicked " in March and I lost 30

pounds over the summer, which brought me to my natural weight. My weight has

been stable for the past few months and I eat and move what/when I want.

> >

> > I feel like people don't take me seriously now. I sometimes even get dirty

looks. I don't bring up dieting or weight loss or anything like that unless

someone else does first, but if I throw in my 2 cents, even when invited, I say

that I don't believe in dieting and I think the best thing to do is learn to

listen to your body. You wouldn't believe the looks I get. Dirty looks from

ex-coworkers from earlier this year when I was heavy (my ex-supervisor just quit

weight watchers) and especially women who are older than me. I'm 23, 5'8 " and

about a size 6-8. I'm a pear-shape and I've never had children, so I have a

naturally small waist and flat stomach. I'd say I'm fairly attractive.

Apparently, this voids anything I have to say about food and body image.

> >

> > Even women who know me, family members say " Well you've never had to

struggle with your weight " or " You're young, you don't know what it's like " or

" easy for you to say, you're young and skinny and you don't have to diet. "

Apparently they don't remember me 45 pounds heavier, or 10 pounds lighter than I

am now, then heavy again. The same women who used to praise me whenever I lost

weight in the past.

> >

> > I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. When I was heavy, people

respected the fact that I knew what it was like to struggle with food. Now I

feel like people write me off as a fluke. I don't shove IE down people's

throats, but I don't participate in diet talk and I'm not sky about explaining

why, though I do so respectfully.

> >

> > I may not have dieted as long as many women, and I maybe my ease with my

body and food makes people uncomfortable. I put a tremendous amount of work into

fixing my food issues, and it was certainly not a fluke. I guess it just hurts

that even women who are close to me think I don't know what I'm talking about.

> >

> > Has anyone experienced this problem, or do I just have it easy because I'm

not old enough to rent a car in most states?

> >

> > -McKella

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I’m trying to fit words to WWSTHB

but I’m having trouble. I know as soon as I see it that I’ll say “YIKES!

I knew that!” but if you could help me out……thanks.

Kate

[Guest guest]

When Women Stop Hating their Bodies...

>

> I'm trying to fit words to WWSTHB but I'm having trouble. I know as soon as

> I see it that I'll say " YIKES! I knew that! " but if you could help me

> out..thanks.

>

>

>

> Kate

>

[Guest guest]

When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies. It the second book by the same authors as

Overcoming Overeating.

Katcha

>

> I'm trying to fit words to WWSTHB but I'm having trouble. I know as soon as

> I see it that I'll say " YIKES! I knew that! " but if you could help me

> out..thanks.

>

>

>

> Kate

>

[Guest guest]

When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies. It the second book by the same authors as

Overcoming Overeating.

Katcha

>

> I'm trying to fit words to WWSTHB but I'm having trouble. I know as soon as

> I see it that I'll say " YIKES! I knew that! " but if you could help me

> out..thanks.

>

>

>

> Kate

>

[Guest guest]

When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies. It the second book by the same authors as

Overcoming Overeating.

Katcha

>

> I'm trying to fit words to WWSTHB but I'm having trouble. I know as soon as

> I see it that I'll say " YIKES! I knew that! " but if you could help me

> out..thanks.

>

>

>

> Kate

>

[Guest guest]

McKella,Perhaps people think that you have the secret to weight loss but don`t want to share it with them. IE is such a simple concept, so difficult to follow in this society of diet and body hatred. People are always looking for some expert to follow instead of getting in touch with the real expert...themselves.Carole To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:01:17 AM Subject: Chopped liver I feel like people don't take me seriously now. I sometimes even get dirty looks. I don't bring up dieting or weight loss or anything like that unless someone else does first, but if I throw in my 2 cents, even when invited, I say that I don't believe in dieting and I think the best thing to do is learn to listen to your body. You wouldn't believe the looks I get. Dirty looks from ex-coworkers from earlier this year when I was heavy (my ex-supervisor just quit weight watchers) and especially women who are older than me. I'm 23, 5'8" and about a size 6-8. I'm a pear-shape and I've never had children, so I have a naturally small waist and flat stomach. I'd say I'm fairly attractive.

Apparently, this voids anything I have to say about food and body image.

[Guest guest]

McKella,Perhaps people think that you have the secret to weight loss but don`t want to share it with them. IE is such a simple concept, so difficult to follow in this society of diet and body hatred. People are always looking for some expert to follow instead of getting in touch with the real expert...themselves.Carole To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:01:17 AM Subject: Chopped liver I feel like people don't take me seriously now. I sometimes even get dirty looks. I don't bring up dieting or weight loss or anything like that unless someone else does first, but if I throw in my 2 cents, even when invited, I say that I don't believe in dieting and I think the best thing to do is learn to listen to your body. You wouldn't believe the looks I get. Dirty looks from ex-coworkers from earlier this year when I was heavy (my ex-supervisor just quit weight watchers) and especially women who are older than me. I'm 23, 5'8" and about a size 6-8. I'm a pear-shape and I've never had children, so I have a naturally small waist and flat stomach. I'd say I'm fairly attractive.

Apparently, this voids anything I have to say about food and body image.

[Guest guest]

McKella,Perhaps people think that you have the secret to weight loss but don`t want to share it with them. IE is such a simple concept, so difficult to follow in this society of diet and body hatred. People are always looking for some expert to follow instead of getting in touch with the real expert...themselves.Carole To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:01:17 AM Subject: Chopped liver I feel like people don't take me seriously now. I sometimes even get dirty looks. I don't bring up dieting or weight loss or anything like that unless someone else does first, but if I throw in my 2 cents, even when invited, I say that I don't believe in dieting and I think the best thing to do is learn to listen to your body. You wouldn't believe the looks I get. Dirty looks from ex-coworkers from earlier this year when I was heavy (my ex-supervisor just quit weight watchers) and especially women who are older than me. I'm 23, 5'8" and about a size 6-8. I'm a pear-shape and I've never had children, so I have a naturally small waist and flat stomach. I'd say I'm fairly attractive.

Apparently, this voids anything I have to say about food and body image.