Re: Don'tcha hate it when nada...

[Guest guest]

My nada either shamed me or claimed what I did. Usually claimed. My T is the

first person to notice besides me. Ugh!

>

>

> ... tells you to stop acting like her mother, and all you can think is,

> " well, SOMEBODY'S gotta play that role around here! "

>

> ... tells you to respect her, which actually makes you lose respect for

> her.

>

> ... takes the credit for something you have done. (My nada & I would

> disagree over something, then she'd get a phone call from one of her friends

> & converse w/her friend about the topic by taking what was initially MY

> viewpoint b/c she had gone over it in her head in that short amount of time

> & decided my viewpoint made her sound like she knew what she was talking

> about. As a child, this was very confusing for me.)

>

> What are the repetitive drama scenes in your life? Add on to the list!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My nada either shamed me or claimed what I did. Usually claimed. My T is the

first person to notice besides me. Ugh!

>

>

> ... tells you to stop acting like her mother, and all you can think is,

> " well, SOMEBODY'S gotta play that role around here! "

>

> ... tells you to respect her, which actually makes you lose respect for

> her.

>

> ... takes the credit for something you have done. (My nada & I would

> disagree over something, then she'd get a phone call from one of her friends

> & converse w/her friend about the topic by taking what was initially MY

> viewpoint b/c she had gone over it in her head in that short amount of time

> & decided my viewpoint made her sound like she knew what she was talking

> about. As a child, this was very confusing for me.)

>

> What are the repetitive drama scenes in your life? Add on to the list!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My nada either shamed me or claimed what I did. Usually claimed. My T is the

first person to notice besides me. Ugh!

>

>

> ... tells you to stop acting like her mother, and all you can think is,

> " well, SOMEBODY'S gotta play that role around here! "

>

> ... tells you to respect her, which actually makes you lose respect for

> her.

>

> ... takes the credit for something you have done. (My nada & I would

> disagree over something, then she'd get a phone call from one of her friends

> & converse w/her friend about the topic by taking what was initially MY

> viewpoint b/c she had gone over it in her head in that short amount of time

> & decided my viewpoint made her sound like she knew what she was talking

> about. As a child, this was very confusing for me.)

>

> What are the repetitive drama scenes in your life? Add on to the list!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

....tells the story of an event you were both involved in only to discover the

story being told bears not even a slight resemblance to the truth and its some

how your fault that you are the villain in her twisted version of reality but it

never even happened.

>

> >

> >

> > ... tells you to stop acting like her mother, and all you can think is,

> > " well, SOMEBODY'S gotta play that role around here! "

> >

> > ... tells you to respect her, which actually makes you lose respect for

> > her.

> >

> > ... takes the credit for something you have done. (My nada & I would

> > disagree over something, then she'd get a phone call from one of her friends

> > & converse w/her friend about the topic by taking what was initially MY

> > viewpoint b/c she had gone over it in her head in that short amount of time

> > & decided my viewpoint made her sound like she knew what she was talking

> > about. As a child, this was very confusing for me.)

> >

> > What are the repetitive drama scenes in your life? Add on to the list!

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

....tells the story of an event you were both involved in only to discover the

story being told bears not even a slight resemblance to the truth and its some

how your fault that you are the villain in her twisted version of reality but it

never even happened.

>

> >

> >

> > ... tells you to stop acting like her mother, and all you can think is,

> > " well, SOMEBODY'S gotta play that role around here! "

> >

> > ... tells you to respect her, which actually makes you lose respect for

> > her.

> >

> > ... takes the credit for something you have done. (My nada & I would

> > disagree over something, then she'd get a phone call from one of her friends

> > & converse w/her friend about the topic by taking what was initially MY

> > viewpoint b/c she had gone over it in her head in that short amount of time

> > & decided my viewpoint made her sound like she knew what she was talking

> > about. As a child, this was very confusing for me.)

> >

> > What are the repetitive drama scenes in your life? Add on to the list!

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

....tells the story of an event you were both involved in only to discover the

story being told bears not even a slight resemblance to the truth and its some

how your fault that you are the villain in her twisted version of reality but it

never even happened.

>

> >

> >

> > ... tells you to stop acting like her mother, and all you can think is,

> > " well, SOMEBODY'S gotta play that role around here! "

> >

> > ... tells you to respect her, which actually makes you lose respect for

> > her.

> >

> > ... takes the credit for something you have done. (My nada & I would

> > disagree over something, then she'd get a phone call from one of her friends

> > & converse w/her friend about the topic by taking what was initially MY

> > viewpoint b/c she had gone over it in her head in that short amount of time

> > & decided my viewpoint made her sound like she knew what she was talking

> > about. As a child, this was very confusing for me.)

> >

> > What are the repetitive drama scenes in your life? Add on to the list!

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well, she didn't make me the villain, but when I was a kid, maybe 11 or 12, we

went to look at these puppies and she let me bring one home. I named it ,

after a character in a story I was writing (when I was a child I used to write

all sorts of stories--I even received a sort of recognition for it once,

anyways), so I distinctly remember that I named the dog and the idea for the

dog's name came from my story I was writing. When my mother, my eldest enabling

brother, and myself maybe 6 years ago were discussing it, they both claimed to

remember that they were the ones who named the dog. I argued with them, " no, it

was me, I was writing a story about a girl that I named and I was like

obsessed with that name, " but neither of them would believe me or remember it

the way it happened. I thought I had gone crazy! There are certainly things that

I don't remember but I couldn't believe that someone was telling me I was

remembering my memory wrong when it was so clear to me. And the two of them were

claiming that each of them separately named the dog--and I was like, " really,

and how did you come up with the name? "

It was very frustrating but I know now that I wasn't crazy. It did happen the

way I remember it. There are other things like that, other memories my mother

has rewritten, but less to vilify me and more to make her look good.

It makes me feel so much better to tell this story, even though it's really not

a big deal. WHo cares who named the dog anyways?

[Guest guest]

Well, she didn't make me the villain, but when I was a kid, maybe 11 or 12, we

went to look at these puppies and she let me bring one home. I named it ,

after a character in a story I was writing (when I was a child I used to write

all sorts of stories--I even received a sort of recognition for it once,

anyways), so I distinctly remember that I named the dog and the idea for the

dog's name came from my story I was writing. When my mother, my eldest enabling

brother, and myself maybe 6 years ago were discussing it, they both claimed to

remember that they were the ones who named the dog. I argued with them, " no, it

was me, I was writing a story about a girl that I named and I was like

obsessed with that name, " but neither of them would believe me or remember it

the way it happened. I thought I had gone crazy! There are certainly things that

I don't remember but I couldn't believe that someone was telling me I was

remembering my memory wrong when it was so clear to me. And the two of them were

claiming that each of them separately named the dog--and I was like, " really,

and how did you come up with the name? "

It was very frustrating but I know now that I wasn't crazy. It did happen the

way I remember it. There are other things like that, other memories my mother

has rewritten, but less to vilify me and more to make her look good.

It makes me feel so much better to tell this story, even though it's really not

a big deal. WHo cares who named the dog anyways?

[Guest guest]

Well, she didn't make me the villain, but when I was a kid, maybe 11 or 12, we

went to look at these puppies and she let me bring one home. I named it ,

after a character in a story I was writing (when I was a child I used to write

all sorts of stories--I even received a sort of recognition for it once,

anyways), so I distinctly remember that I named the dog and the idea for the

dog's name came from my story I was writing. When my mother, my eldest enabling

brother, and myself maybe 6 years ago were discussing it, they both claimed to

remember that they were the ones who named the dog. I argued with them, " no, it

was me, I was writing a story about a girl that I named and I was like

obsessed with that name, " but neither of them would believe me or remember it

the way it happened. I thought I had gone crazy! There are certainly things that

I don't remember but I couldn't believe that someone was telling me I was

remembering my memory wrong when it was so clear to me. And the two of them were

claiming that each of them separately named the dog--and I was like, " really,

and how did you come up with the name? "

It was very frustrating but I know now that I wasn't crazy. It did happen the

way I remember it. There are other things like that, other memories my mother

has rewritten, but less to vilify me and more to make her look good.

It makes me feel so much better to tell this story, even though it's really not

a big deal. WHo cares who named the dog anyways?

[Guest guest]

Its never or virtually never having your own feelings and memories validated

that hurts.

Sister and I, thank heaven, remember most things from our past pretty similarly

and can validate each other pretty well, although from time to time there are a

few details we can't agree on or a story that one of us remembers and the other

doesn't. Most of the time we're pretty in sync, so when we aren't we just

cheerfully agree to disagree.

That is about 90 degrees opposite than what Sister and I have experienced when

attempting to walk down memory lane with our nada, and she's always been like

that (my nada has recently been having more noticeable memory lapses and

hallucinations; she is in her 80's now and may possibly be starting to develop

senile dementia.) But even a couple of decades ago Nada would remember things

so differently it was like we were not even talking about the same incident, and

if we didn't agree with nada it would set her off.

Plus I learned a long, LONG time ago to never bring up any memory of mine that

involved nada being abusive. Guaranteed to set off WWIII.

Basically a forbidden topic. Bad ju-ju.

So, yeah, nada not validating even my " good " memories and remembering incidents

so very differently was always frustrating to me, too.

-Annie

>

> Well, she didn't make me the villain, but when I was a kid, maybe 11 or 12,

we went to look at these puppies and she let me bring one home. I named it

, after a character in a story I was writing (when I was a child I used to

write all sorts of stories--I even received a sort of recognition for it once,

anyways), so I distinctly remember that I named the dog and the idea for the

dog's name came from my story I was writing. When my mother, my eldest enabling

brother, and myself maybe 6 years ago were discussing it, they both claimed to

remember that they were the ones who named the dog. I argued with them, " no, it

was me, I was writing a story about a girl that I named and I was like

obsessed with that name, " but neither of them would believe me or remember it

the way it happened. I thought I had gone crazy! There are certainly things that

I don't remember but I couldn't believe that someone was telling me I was

remembering my memory wrong when it was so clear to me. And the two of them were

claiming that each of them separately named the dog--and I was like, " really,

and how did you come up with the name? "

>

> It was very frustrating but I know now that I wasn't crazy. It did happen the

way I remember it. There are other things like that, other memories my mother

has rewritten, but less to vilify me and more to make her look good.

>

> It makes me feel so much better to tell this story, even though it's really

not a big deal. WHo cares who named the dog anyways?

>

[Guest guest]

Its never or virtually never having your own feelings and memories validated

that hurts.

Sister and I, thank heaven, remember most things from our past pretty similarly

and can validate each other pretty well, although from time to time there are a

few details we can't agree on or a story that one of us remembers and the other

doesn't. Most of the time we're pretty in sync, so when we aren't we just

cheerfully agree to disagree.

That is about 90 degrees opposite than what Sister and I have experienced when

attempting to walk down memory lane with our nada, and she's always been like

that (my nada has recently been having more noticeable memory lapses and

hallucinations; she is in her 80's now and may possibly be starting to develop

senile dementia.) But even a couple of decades ago Nada would remember things

so differently it was like we were not even talking about the same incident, and

if we didn't agree with nada it would set her off.

Plus I learned a long, LONG time ago to never bring up any memory of mine that

involved nada being abusive. Guaranteed to set off WWIII.

Basically a forbidden topic. Bad ju-ju.

So, yeah, nada not validating even my " good " memories and remembering incidents

so very differently was always frustrating to me, too.

-Annie

>

> Well, she didn't make me the villain, but when I was a kid, maybe 11 or 12,

we went to look at these puppies and she let me bring one home. I named it

, after a character in a story I was writing (when I was a child I used to

write all sorts of stories--I even received a sort of recognition for it once,

anyways), so I distinctly remember that I named the dog and the idea for the

dog's name came from my story I was writing. When my mother, my eldest enabling

brother, and myself maybe 6 years ago were discussing it, they both claimed to

remember that they were the ones who named the dog. I argued with them, " no, it

was me, I was writing a story about a girl that I named and I was like

obsessed with that name, " but neither of them would believe me or remember it

the way it happened. I thought I had gone crazy! There are certainly things that

I don't remember but I couldn't believe that someone was telling me I was

remembering my memory wrong when it was so clear to me. And the two of them were

claiming that each of them separately named the dog--and I was like, " really,

and how did you come up with the name? "

>

> It was very frustrating but I know now that I wasn't crazy. It did happen the

way I remember it. There are other things like that, other memories my mother

has rewritten, but less to vilify me and more to make her look good.

>

> It makes me feel so much better to tell this story, even though it's really

not a big deal. WHo cares who named the dog anyways?

>

[Guest guest]

Its never or virtually never having your own feelings and memories validated

that hurts.

Sister and I, thank heaven, remember most things from our past pretty similarly

and can validate each other pretty well, although from time to time there are a

few details we can't agree on or a story that one of us remembers and the other

doesn't. Most of the time we're pretty in sync, so when we aren't we just

cheerfully agree to disagree.

That is about 90 degrees opposite than what Sister and I have experienced when

attempting to walk down memory lane with our nada, and she's always been like

that (my nada has recently been having more noticeable memory lapses and

hallucinations; she is in her 80's now and may possibly be starting to develop

senile dementia.) But even a couple of decades ago Nada would remember things

so differently it was like we were not even talking about the same incident, and

if we didn't agree with nada it would set her off.

Plus I learned a long, LONG time ago to never bring up any memory of mine that

involved nada being abusive. Guaranteed to set off WWIII.

Basically a forbidden topic. Bad ju-ju.

So, yeah, nada not validating even my " good " memories and remembering incidents

so very differently was always frustrating to me, too.

-Annie

>

> Well, she didn't make me the villain, but when I was a kid, maybe 11 or 12,

we went to look at these puppies and she let me bring one home. I named it

, after a character in a story I was writing (when I was a child I used to

write all sorts of stories--I even received a sort of recognition for it once,

anyways), so I distinctly remember that I named the dog and the idea for the

dog's name came from my story I was writing. When my mother, my eldest enabling

brother, and myself maybe 6 years ago were discussing it, they both claimed to

remember that they were the ones who named the dog. I argued with them, " no, it

was me, I was writing a story about a girl that I named and I was like

obsessed with that name, " but neither of them would believe me or remember it

the way it happened. I thought I had gone crazy! There are certainly things that

I don't remember but I couldn't believe that someone was telling me I was

remembering my memory wrong when it was so clear to me. And the two of them were

claiming that each of them separately named the dog--and I was like, " really,

and how did you come up with the name? "

>

> It was very frustrating but I know now that I wasn't crazy. It did happen the

way I remember it. There are other things like that, other memories my mother

has rewritten, but less to vilify me and more to make her look good.

>

> It makes me feel so much better to tell this story, even though it's really

not a big deal. WHo cares who named the dog anyways?

>

[Guest guest]

Oh yes, my nada did that memory thing and I feel like punching something

just thinking about it.

On Sun, Jan 9, 2011 at 6:52 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> Its never or virtually never having your own feelings and memories

> validated that hurts.

>

> Sister and I, thank heaven, remember most things from our past pretty

> similarly and can validate each other pretty well, although from time to

> time there are a few details we can't agree on or a story that one of us

> remembers and the other doesn't. Most of the time we're pretty in sync, so

> when we aren't we just cheerfully agree to disagree.

>

> That is about 90 degrees opposite than what Sister and I have experienced

> when attempting to walk down memory lane with our nada, and she's always

> been like that (my nada has recently been having more noticeable memory

> lapses and hallucinations; she is in her 80's now and may possibly be

> starting to develop senile dementia.) But even a couple of decades ago Nada

> would remember things so differently it was like we were not even talking

> about the same incident, and if we didn't agree with nada it would set her

> off.

>

> Plus I learned a long, LONG time ago to never bring up any memory of mine

> that involved nada being abusive. Guaranteed to set off WWIII.

> Basically a forbidden topic. Bad ju-ju.

>

> So, yeah, nada not validating even my " good " memories and remembering

> incidents so very differently was always frustrating to me, too.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > Well, she didn't make me the villain, but when I was a kid, maybe 11 or

> 12, we went to look at these puppies and she let me bring one home. I named

> it , after a character in a story I was writing (when I was a child I

> used to write all sorts of stories--I even received a sort of recognition

> for it once, anyways), so I distinctly remember that I named the dog and the

> idea for the dog's name came from my story I was writing. When my mother, my

> eldest enabling brother, and myself maybe 6 years ago were discussing it,

> they both claimed to remember that they were the ones who named the dog. I

> argued with them, " no, it was me, I was writing a story about a girl that I

> named and I was like obsessed with that name, " but neither of them

> would believe me or remember it the way it happened. I thought I had gone

> crazy! There are certainly things that I don't remember but I couldn't

> believe that someone was telling me I was remembering my memory wrong when

> it was so clear to me. And the two of them were claiming that each of them

> separately named the dog--and I was like, " really, and how did you come up

> with the name? "

> >

> > It was very frustrating but I know now that I wasn't crazy. It did happen

> the way I remember it. There are other things like that, other memories my

> mother has rewritten, but less to vilify me and more to make her look good.

> >

> > It makes me feel so much better to tell this story, even though it's

> really not a big deal. WHo cares who named the dog anyways?

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh yes, my nada did that memory thing and I feel like punching something

just thinking about it.

On Sun, Jan 9, 2011 at 6:52 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> Its never or virtually never having your own feelings and memories

> validated that hurts.

>

> Sister and I, thank heaven, remember most things from our past pretty

> similarly and can validate each other pretty well, although from time to

> time there are a few details we can't agree on or a story that one of us

> remembers and the other doesn't. Most of the time we're pretty in sync, so

> when we aren't we just cheerfully agree to disagree.

>

> That is about 90 degrees opposite than what Sister and I have experienced

> when attempting to walk down memory lane with our nada, and she's always

> been like that (my nada has recently been having more noticeable memory

> lapses and hallucinations; she is in her 80's now and may possibly be

> starting to develop senile dementia.) But even a couple of decades ago Nada

> would remember things so differently it was like we were not even talking

> about the same incident, and if we didn't agree with nada it would set her

> off.

>

> Plus I learned a long, LONG time ago to never bring up any memory of mine

> that involved nada being abusive. Guaranteed to set off WWIII.

> Basically a forbidden topic. Bad ju-ju.

>

> So, yeah, nada not validating even my " good " memories and remembering

> incidents so very differently was always frustrating to me, too.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > Well, she didn't make me the villain, but when I was a kid, maybe 11 or

> 12, we went to look at these puppies and she let me bring one home. I named

> it , after a character in a story I was writing (when I was a child I

> used to write all sorts of stories--I even received a sort of recognition

> for it once, anyways), so I distinctly remember that I named the dog and the

> idea for the dog's name came from my story I was writing. When my mother, my

> eldest enabling brother, and myself maybe 6 years ago were discussing it,

> they both claimed to remember that they were the ones who named the dog. I

> argued with them, " no, it was me, I was writing a story about a girl that I

> named and I was like obsessed with that name, " but neither of them

> would believe me or remember it the way it happened. I thought I had gone

> crazy! There are certainly things that I don't remember but I couldn't

> believe that someone was telling me I was remembering my memory wrong when

> it was so clear to me. And the two of them were claiming that each of them

> separately named the dog--and I was like, " really, and how did you come up

> with the name? "

> >

> > It was very frustrating but I know now that I wasn't crazy. It did happen

> the way I remember it. There are other things like that, other memories my

> mother has rewritten, but less to vilify me and more to make her look good.

> >

> > It makes me feel so much better to tell this story, even though it's

> really not a big deal. WHo cares who named the dog anyways?

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh yes, my nada did that memory thing and I feel like punching something

just thinking about it.

On Sun, Jan 9, 2011 at 6:52 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> Its never or virtually never having your own feelings and memories

> validated that hurts.

>

> Sister and I, thank heaven, remember most things from our past pretty

> similarly and can validate each other pretty well, although from time to

> time there are a few details we can't agree on or a story that one of us

> remembers and the other doesn't. Most of the time we're pretty in sync, so

> when we aren't we just cheerfully agree to disagree.

>

> That is about 90 degrees opposite than what Sister and I have experienced

> when attempting to walk down memory lane with our nada, and she's always

> been like that (my nada has recently been having more noticeable memory

> lapses and hallucinations; she is in her 80's now and may possibly be

> starting to develop senile dementia.) But even a couple of decades ago Nada

> would remember things so differently it was like we were not even talking

> about the same incident, and if we didn't agree with nada it would set her

> off.

>

> Plus I learned a long, LONG time ago to never bring up any memory of mine

> that involved nada being abusive. Guaranteed to set off WWIII.

> Basically a forbidden topic. Bad ju-ju.

>

> So, yeah, nada not validating even my " good " memories and remembering

> incidents so very differently was always frustrating to me, too.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > Well, she didn't make me the villain, but when I was a kid, maybe 11 or

> 12, we went to look at these puppies and she let me bring one home. I named

> it , after a character in a story I was writing (when I was a child I

> used to write all sorts of stories--I even received a sort of recognition

> for it once, anyways), so I distinctly remember that I named the dog and the

> idea for the dog's name came from my story I was writing. When my mother, my

> eldest enabling brother, and myself maybe 6 years ago were discussing it,

> they both claimed to remember that they were the ones who named the dog. I

> argued with them, " no, it was me, I was writing a story about a girl that I

> named and I was like obsessed with that name, " but neither of them

> would believe me or remember it the way it happened. I thought I had gone

> crazy! There are certainly things that I don't remember but I couldn't

> believe that someone was telling me I was remembering my memory wrong when

> it was so clear to me. And the two of them were claiming that each of them

> separately named the dog--and I was like, " really, and how did you come up

> with the name? "

> >

> > It was very frustrating but I know now that I wasn't crazy. It did happen

> the way I remember it. There are other things like that, other memories my

> mother has rewritten, but less to vilify me and more to make her look good.

> >

> > It makes me feel so much better to tell this story, even though it's

> really not a big deal. WHo cares who named the dog anyways?

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Same thing. Our dog we " found " along the river on the one canoe trip we ever

took in my life. Mom was trying to be fun or whatever. Nothing like that ever

lasted - just a show for the aunt and cousins in town. Anyway, I said, " This

dog is really lucky that we found him; we should name him Lucky. "

Later, it was told that she named him. She even named another dog Lucky years

later. (The reason we didn't really " find " the dog anyway? It was running

along someone's property line who had a house by the river. Now I know we also

stole this dog!)

What is wrong with these people???!!! hypothetical question :-)

+Coal Miner's Daughter

>When my mother, my eldest enabling brother, and myself maybe 6 years ago were

discussing it, they both claimed to remember that they were the ones who named

the dog.

>

> It makes me feel so much better to tell this story, even though it's really

not a big deal. WHo cares who named the dog anyways?

>

[Guest guest]

In the past I had tried to bring up things nada has said to me that have

been negative and she flat out has said, " I have no memory of that " .

I wonder if that is really the case, or if she's just using " selective

memory " (which she always accused me of. Hmm)

Mia

On Mon, Jan 10, 2011 at 8:38 AM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> Oh yes, my nada did that memory thing and I feel like punching something

> just thinking about it.

>

[Guest guest]

In the past I had tried to bring up things nada has said to me that have

been negative and she flat out has said, " I have no memory of that " .

I wonder if that is really the case, or if she's just using " selective

memory " (which she always accused me of. Hmm)

Mia

On Mon, Jan 10, 2011 at 8:38 AM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> Oh yes, my nada did that memory thing and I feel like punching something

> just thinking about it.

>

[Guest guest]

....accuses me of her crazy - I am the controlling one, the one who has to have

things my way, the one who is trying to control her. Maddening!

....rewrites history as so many others have noted. My mother let me dye my hair

beginning in sixth grade - and I have photographic evidence to prove it - but

she decided at some point in the last 20 years that good mothers don't let their

young daughters color their hair so it never happened. She was treating me for

(wait for it...) lice. Ponder that for a moment...

....pretends like nothing has happened an hour or so after she has gone all kinds

of crazy. There may be an apology (the " I'm so sorry you drove me crazy "

variety), but maybe not and then it's like nothing ever happened.

....uses that " mother " voice when she wants me to do/say/believe somethig her

way. It just makes me want to say, " And where were these beautifully modulated

June Cleaver tones when I was growing up? "

> >When my mother, my eldest enabling brother, and myself maybe 6 years ago were

discussing it, they both claimed to remember that they were the ones who named

the dog.

> >

> > It makes me feel so much better to tell this story, even though it's really

not a big deal. WHo cares who named the dog anyways?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

....accuses me of her crazy - I am the controlling one, the one who has to have

things my way, the one who is trying to control her. Maddening!

....rewrites history as so many others have noted. My mother let me dye my hair

beginning in sixth grade - and I have photographic evidence to prove it - but

she decided at some point in the last 20 years that good mothers don't let their

young daughters color their hair so it never happened. She was treating me for

(wait for it...) lice. Ponder that for a moment...

....pretends like nothing has happened an hour or so after she has gone all kinds

of crazy. There may be an apology (the " I'm so sorry you drove me crazy "

variety), but maybe not and then it's like nothing ever happened.

....uses that " mother " voice when she wants me to do/say/believe somethig her

way. It just makes me want to say, " And where were these beautifully modulated

June Cleaver tones when I was growing up? "

> >When my mother, my eldest enabling brother, and myself maybe 6 years ago were

discussing it, they both claimed to remember that they were the ones who named

the dog.

> >

> > It makes me feel so much better to tell this story, even though it's really

not a big deal. WHo cares who named the dog anyways?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

....accuses me of her crazy - I am the controlling one, the one who has to have

things my way, the one who is trying to control her. Maddening!

....rewrites history as so many others have noted. My mother let me dye my hair

beginning in sixth grade - and I have photographic evidence to prove it - but

she decided at some point in the last 20 years that good mothers don't let their

young daughters color their hair so it never happened. She was treating me for

(wait for it...) lice. Ponder that for a moment...

....pretends like nothing has happened an hour or so after she has gone all kinds

of crazy. There may be an apology (the " I'm so sorry you drove me crazy "

variety), but maybe not and then it's like nothing ever happened.

....uses that " mother " voice when she wants me to do/say/believe somethig her

way. It just makes me want to say, " And where were these beautifully modulated

June Cleaver tones when I was growing up? "

> >When my mother, my eldest enabling brother, and myself maybe 6 years ago were

discussing it, they both claimed to remember that they were the ones who named

the dog.

> >

> > It makes me feel so much better to tell this story, even though it's really

not a big deal. WHo cares who named the dog anyways?

> >

>