Re: Married men and the BPD woman...

[Guest guest]

Ehhhhhhh, whats up doc?

If you were married to someone with a doctorate, the 2 of you would be a

.....................ready?............drum roll........

Paradox.

Ok, got that out of my system.

I know what an EdD is, what is an ABD?

Yea, you re right. That is pretty cogent. Pasted into notes for that

chapter.

Time for a good copy editor before long!

Congrats on the sheepskin.

Doug

> >

> > Lynette, ( When do I get to say, DR Lynette?)

> >

> > I think you are asking 3 different questions. If I may,

> >

> > 1. Why do married men ,( some of us, not all of us) , choose to

have

> > sexual adventures outside the marriage.

> > 2. Why do female BP s exhibit sexually promiscuous behaviors.

> > 3. How do they justify their activities.

> >

> > So, to question one. Some men have affairs because they are horny

and

> > choose not to control their impulses. Hmm, can I say horny here?

Some

> > men do so because they are sexually addicted, and have real issues

> > controlling their compuslions. Some are just hound dogs, some are

> > emotionally vulnerable, and seek something which they think they ll

find

> > in sexual conquest.

> >

> > Why do they end up with BP women? Because they are easy and

available

> > and have low inhibitions or fences.

> >

> > All married men should be required to watch Fatal Attraction on the

last

> > night of the honeymoon and see an out there BP woman in an affair!

> >

> > 2. Why are BP s so available. Because they have little impulse

> > control, and are extremely emotionally vulnerable. They will do

> > anything to feel emotionally connected, and they have that

pathological

> > fear of abandonment. Women, it is said, trade sex for affection,

> > whereas men trade affection for sex. Maybe a broad statement, but

shows

> > the general differences in our makeup. Women or girls often find

> > themselves giving up more of themselves than they really intended to

> > keep a man or boy around. And from experience and memory, I can

tell

> > you a horny 17 yr old boy will say about anything if he thinks the

> > result will be sex.

> >

> > So add the wiring and vulnerability of a womans emotions and desire

for

> > love, and the lack of impulse control of the BP, coupled with the

> > really sick level of emotional need in a BP, and you have the

makings of

> > a highly promiscuous person. A horny , opportunistic guy is going

to

> > hone in on that and pursue it.

> >

> > 3. Why do they justify it? Because, whereas a normal woman, or

girl,

> > might feel regret or guilt at having been seduced into a sexual

> > encounter that ran counter to her own moral code, the BP cannot

accept

> > guilt or responsibility, and thus MUST justify it.

> >

> > I watched as a teenager my mom involved with men having trouble

with

> > their wives, and others, quite a list, actually. She lost a job

> > because the wife came in to the workplace and told the boss, if you

want

> > to try to save this marriage, you start by getting rid of the whore!

> >

> > She was, in fact , having an affair with the woman s husband. But

30

> > years later, she would couch that story as to how sorry she felt for

> > him, and what a bitch his wife was.

> >

> > I bit my tongue and did not point out the obvious: you acted the

same

> > way toward the woman Dad was having an affair with, and called her

far

> > worse.

> >

> > This is one of the paradoxical things I found. In fact, it is a

chapter

> > in my book. They seem to express what might be , in others, guilt

or

> > shame, in the form of extreme condemnation in others of the same

> > behaviors they exhibit. This may be true in other areas as well,

but it

> > is strikingly obvious in the sexual arena.

> >

> > Doug

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Don't know exactly what is up with that....but my Nada slept with married men

her whole life...no exaggeration. Started young when she slept with my

Grandparents best friend's husband at the age of 17? She got sent off for a

while for that to live with an aunt. I almost think she was pregnant and I

could have an older sibling out there somewhere?? My bio-dad was married when

he slept with my Nada (unmarried)producing me. She then went on to marry my

adoptive dad and then cheated on him with various MARRIED men. No married man

was off limits to her. I got to hear about her shenanigans living in a small

town too. Her current husband (3rd) wasn't married but had been with his common

law wife for 9 years when she snared him from her.

Yep... definitely a pattern with her!!!

Makes me ill!! drlingirl