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Re: I'm new-help!

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>

>I I keep thinking, what if she's had a change of heart and I miss the

opportunity to have my mother rejoin my life for my wedding?

>

I can understand the desire to have a mother there at such an important event.

It is really difficult when we realize that we never really had a mother (even

those of us who ARE still in contact). There is a lot to grieve.

My response when I read your statement above was: Well, if she had a change of

heart, SHE would be tracking YOU down in order to offer you her sincere

apology--and she wouldn't expect you to forgive her, she'd just let you know how

sorry she was that she hurt you so much.

We really need our moms sometimes, and it's sad that we don't have a real one.

We have to parent ourselves. Some people also find it helpful to find a sort of

surrogate mom, a safe older woman who is willing to love us and listen to us,

even if it's not quite as close as the wonderful mother-daughter relationship we

fantasize about. I have a wonderful godmother that I get to visit with a couple

of times a year. We maintain our own boundaries and identity, but she is always

willing to listen and offer advice if I ask for it. Is there anyone in your

life that might be able to be a friend to you like that?

I wish you the best as you prepare for your marriage, and as you continue to

heal from these deep wounds. I'm glad you found this board; it has been very

helpful to me, and I know you will find validation and understanding here.

KT

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