Guest guest Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 By reading through this board, I've gotten the feeling that many of us moved away from the BPD in our life. Question to everyone: How many miles away from your pwBPD do you live? When and why did you decide to move away? I'll start -I live approx 250 miles away from Nada. Sadly, that has also moved me 250 miles away from the family that is good to me and that i miss dearly. -I made the choice to move as far away as possible without being completely separated from the " good family " when I was a senior in High School and choosing a college. I first lived about 5 hours away, then moved a tad closer a year later when i transferred to a diff school. -Before I knew anything about BPD, I did know I didn't want her controlling me, her anger to embarrass me, and I wanted it to be a time for her to stop depending on me so much and get help from others. I wanted to live my own life. I just thought it was typical for an 18 year old to feel that way when going to college... but looking back on it, my motives were WAY different than the " typical " 18 year old. Now your turn, GO! -JL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 I got lucky...nada uprooted herself from my state and went to go live with a drug addict friend of hers 3 states away. Phew! I lucked out major! My family is spreading out and moving away too. We only connect on facebook sadly. But, it is what it is. You learn to get by differently than you expected. I guess that's really it--you readjust your expectations. It gets easier to deal with in time. > > By reading through this board, I've gotten the feeling that many of us moved away from the BPD in our life. > > Question to everyone: > > How many miles away from your pwBPD do you live? > > When and why did you decide to move away? > > > I'll start > > -I live approx 250 miles away from Nada. Sadly, that has also moved me 250 miles away from the family that is good to me and that i miss dearly. > > -I made the choice to move as far away as possible without being completely separated from the " good family " when I was a senior in High School and choosing a college. I first lived about 5 hours away, then moved a tad closer a year later when i transferred to a diff school. > > -Before I knew anything about BPD, I did know I didn't want her controlling me, her anger to embarrass me, and I wanted it to be a time for her to stop depending on me so much and get help from others. I wanted to live my own life. I just thought it was typical for an 18 year old to feel that way when going to college... but looking back on it, my motives were WAY different than the " typical " 18 year old. > > Now your turn, GO! > > -JL > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 I got lucky...nada uprooted herself from my state and went to go live with a drug addict friend of hers 3 states away. Phew! I lucked out major! My family is spreading out and moving away too. We only connect on facebook sadly. But, it is what it is. You learn to get by differently than you expected. I guess that's really it--you readjust your expectations. It gets easier to deal with in time. > > By reading through this board, I've gotten the feeling that many of us moved away from the BPD in our life. > > Question to everyone: > > How many miles away from your pwBPD do you live? > > When and why did you decide to move away? > > > I'll start > > -I live approx 250 miles away from Nada. Sadly, that has also moved me 250 miles away from the family that is good to me and that i miss dearly. > > -I made the choice to move as far away as possible without being completely separated from the " good family " when I was a senior in High School and choosing a college. I first lived about 5 hours away, then moved a tad closer a year later when i transferred to a diff school. > > -Before I knew anything about BPD, I did know I didn't want her controlling me, her anger to embarrass me, and I wanted it to be a time for her to stop depending on me so much and get help from others. I wanted to live my own life. I just thought it was typical for an 18 year old to feel that way when going to college... but looking back on it, my motives were WAY different than the " typical " 18 year old. > > Now your turn, GO! > > -JL > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 I live about 35 miles from my pwBPD at the moment. I went 2.5 hours away to college, graduated, went to live with my Nada after college and I went through literal hell before she kicked me out (this occurred several times). As an adult she gave me the message- " You can always come home " , she even still says it. So, off and on throughout adulthood I have returned home when needed and just reverted back to childhood (minding her and making her the center of my world). Ewwww...coughing up hairball. Anyhoo, I stayed with her this last round about 2.5 years, saved up money and moved away. I always say stayed with " her " . There is a dad that lives with her, but he is terribly emasculinated/almost invisible. It's very sad. He's my bio dad...but an almost invisible creature. Ahh well. I live in the country...near cows, corn fields and I love my house! I rarely go see Nada and dad. I have brothers as well, but my older brother blocked out childhood (lives on the other side of the country as Nada) and my younger brother lives with Nada temporarily. She wants him out too. I am very interested in seeing many responses to this question! Maybe I'll move further! :-D Latasha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 I live about 35 miles from my pwBPD at the moment. I went 2.5 hours away to college, graduated, went to live with my Nada after college and I went through literal hell before she kicked me out (this occurred several times). As an adult she gave me the message- " You can always come home " , she even still says it. So, off and on throughout adulthood I have returned home when needed and just reverted back to childhood (minding her and making her the center of my world). Ewwww...coughing up hairball. Anyhoo, I stayed with her this last round about 2.5 years, saved up money and moved away. I always say stayed with " her " . There is a dad that lives with her, but he is terribly emasculinated/almost invisible. It's very sad. He's my bio dad...but an almost invisible creature. Ahh well. I live in the country...near cows, corn fields and I love my house! I rarely go see Nada and dad. I have brothers as well, but my older brother blocked out childhood (lives on the other side of the country as Nada) and my younger brother lives with Nada temporarily. She wants him out too. I am very interested in seeing many responses to this question! Maybe I'll move further! :-D Latasha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 I live about 35 miles from my pwBPD at the moment. I went 2.5 hours away to college, graduated, went to live with my Nada after college and I went through literal hell before she kicked me out (this occurred several times). As an adult she gave me the message- " You can always come home " , she even still says it. So, off and on throughout adulthood I have returned home when needed and just reverted back to childhood (minding her and making her the center of my world). Ewwww...coughing up hairball. Anyhoo, I stayed with her this last round about 2.5 years, saved up money and moved away. I always say stayed with " her " . There is a dad that lives with her, but he is terribly emasculinated/almost invisible. It's very sad. He's my bio dad...but an almost invisible creature. Ahh well. I live in the country...near cows, corn fields and I love my house! I rarely go see Nada and dad. I have brothers as well, but my older brother blocked out childhood (lives on the other side of the country as Nada) and my younger brother lives with Nada temporarily. She wants him out too. I am very interested in seeing many responses to this question! Maybe I'll move further! :-D Latasha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 Great question; I live 2,620 miles away from my mom......and I have, for 28 years. I grew up on one coast, moved to the other for grad school, stayed, married, bought a house.....all that far away. Alastriona Subject: How far away do you live? To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Monday, January 10, 2011, 10:38 PM By reading through this board, I've gotten the feeling that many of us moved away from the BPD in our life. Question to everyone: How many miles away from your pwBPD do you live? When and why did you decide to move away? I'll start -I live approx 250 miles away from Nada. Sadly, that has also moved me 250 miles away from the family that is good to me and that i miss dearly. -I made the choice to move as far away as possible without being completely separated from the " good family " when I was a senior in High School and choosing a college. I first lived about 5 hours away, then moved a tad closer a year later when i transferred to a diff school. -Before I knew anything about BPD, I did know I didn't want her controlling me, her anger to embarrass me, and I wanted it to be a time for her to stop depending on me so much and get help from others. I wanted to live my own life. I just thought it was typical for an 18 year old to feel that way when going to college... but looking back on it, my motives were WAY different than the " typical " 18 year old. Now your turn, GO! -JL ------------------------------------ **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.** Problems? Write @.... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST. To unsub from this list, send a blank email to WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe . Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 Cowgirl wrote: The NC is not related to > distance. Good! Because after 37 years of blessed LC I had to move Fada in the same GOD BLESSED HOUSE! because he said he was dying. He was starving to death because he sat around and felt sorry for himself and didn't try to do one blessed thing for himself. Now that he lives with us and I can see the true depths of his mental illness, I realize he wasn't as helpless as he thought he was. So much of his illness is mental. I maintain as much LC as I can in the same house. He has arthritis and can't climb stairs. Though I know he is not as weak as he portends but it is a hassle for him. I have an intense and demanding job and I'm not home a lot during the academic year. My family doc (who is the grand child of a BP) wants him in a nursing home and believe me the day is coming! After a lecture from my Doc I am biting the bullet and hiring as much help as possible. Like many or your nada's and fada's he uses food and meals as a form of control. Constant complaining about what he heats, constant complaining about how I cook. Constant whining that he is not getting good food or nutritious food. My grocery bill went up a 100 dollars a week when he moved in and he wastes a ton of food. Asks me to buy pie or dessert eats it once or twice and lets it spoil. I am on Weight Watchers and don't eat a lot of the junk he wants. Anyway, how far away do I live? As far away as my mind can take me. Good luck and keep healing and helping each other. Kay other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 I live about 20 miles away. Might as well be 10,000. Hermitsdaughter, I don't know how you do it!! > > By reading through this board, I've gotten the feeling that many of us moved away from the BPD in our life. > > Question to everyone: > > How many miles away from your pwBPD do you live? > > When and why did you decide to move away? > > > I'll start > > -I live approx 250 miles away from Nada. Sadly, that has also moved me 250 miles away from the family that is good to me and that i miss dearly. > > -I made the choice to move as far away as possible without being completely separated from the " good family " when I was a senior in High School and choosing a college. I first lived about 5 hours away, then moved a tad closer a year later when i transferred to a diff school. > > -Before I knew anything about BPD, I did know I didn't want her controlling me, her anger to embarrass me, and I wanted it to be a time for her to stop depending on me so much and get help from others. I wanted to live my own life. I just thought it was typical for an 18 year old to feel that way when going to college... but looking back on it, my motives were WAY different than the " typical " 18 year old. > > Now your turn, GO! > > -JL > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2011 Report Share Posted January 12, 2011 I don't know how Kay does it! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2011 Report Share Posted January 12, 2011 I don't know how Kay does it! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2011 Report Share Posted January 12, 2011 I don't know how Kay does it! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2011 Report Share Posted January 12, 2011 By being away from her, I felt like I could have more of a life of my own. Like I could have my own world, where she couldn't just come in and interfere with everything. I have always liked to travel and live abroad, but now in retrospect I feel like maybe it was also because of *how much* I was growing on a personal level when I was away and on my own. I live in the US now. It's been fours years, some of the happiest of my life. My Mom lives in France. I still sometimes feel like it's all a dream, that's gonna end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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