Re: Strong feelings that come up when I'm alone?

[Guest guest]

Joy, that's normal. When we grow up with so much pain, suffer emotional pain

from partners too, we stuff the pain down being so busy taking care of everyone

else and walking on egg shells. When we're alone, the feelings surface begging

for acceptance.

When I feel that way, I take off for a morning at the beach, I stop by starbucks

and go watch the waves pound the sand and cry until I can't cry another drop. I

fully embrace the pain and treat myself with the same gentleness I would treat a

beautiful friend in pain. when I can do this instead of avoiding the pain, it

passes through me so much quicker and the light truly begins to shine.

for the first time in my life, I'm not filing my empty time with relationships

and too many projects. I'm okay being alone and I even go to bed 30 minutes

early every night just to have some completely alone and quite time to feel what

I'm feeling, accept it and bless it before i go to bed. It's a great healing

ritual.

I'm so glad that you posted this. Sometimes we think we're losing our minds

with all of this emotional drama and trauma. When we find out our reactions are

really quite healthy and normal, it sure makes the day go better.

I wish you the best Joy!

[Guest guest]

Joy, you wrote:

It just feels like plain old sadness.

I feel this a lot usually when driving because it is the only time I'm alone and

also the only time I do something methodical. I will cry and cry and I feel so

much better after I do. It is a physical release. I get a medical massage twice

a month and my massage therapist tells me that it can release intense feelings

and many people cry after their first massage. I think it is okay to be sad

sometimes especially since you seem to be building such a strong healthy

lifestyle for yourself. Many of us are grieving the parents and childhoods we

didn't have. People who lose loving moms and dads feel sad. My arthritis water

aerobics instructor was mourning her dad today who died 15 years ago and she was

sad.

Why can't we mourn for what we never had?

Kay

[Guest guest]

Joy, you wrote:

It just feels like plain old sadness.

I feel this a lot usually when driving because it is the only time I'm alone and

also the only time I do something methodical. I will cry and cry and I feel so

much better after I do. It is a physical release. I get a medical massage twice

a month and my massage therapist tells me that it can release intense feelings

and many people cry after their first massage. I think it is okay to be sad

sometimes especially since you seem to be building such a strong healthy

lifestyle for yourself. Many of us are grieving the parents and childhoods we

didn't have. People who lose loving moms and dads feel sad. My arthritis water

aerobics instructor was mourning her dad today who died 15 years ago and she was

sad.

Why can't we mourn for what we never had?

Kay

[Guest guest]

Joy, you wrote:

It just feels like plain old sadness.

I feel this a lot usually when driving because it is the only time I'm alone and

also the only time I do something methodical. I will cry and cry and I feel so

much better after I do. It is a physical release. I get a medical massage twice

a month and my massage therapist tells me that it can release intense feelings

and many people cry after their first massage. I think it is okay to be sad

sometimes especially since you seem to be building such a strong healthy

lifestyle for yourself. Many of us are grieving the parents and childhoods we

didn't have. People who lose loving moms and dads feel sad. My arthritis water

aerobics instructor was mourning her dad today who died 15 years ago and she was

sad.

Why can't we mourn for what we never had?

Kay

[Guest guest]

Thank you Jaie, and to all who are posting back on this. Healing is confusing.

I worry that I am not doing it right.

It's hard for me to tell if it was too much alone time...or not enough.

This is what I did to combat it: since it was too much, I went to a spiritual

meeting, but after the meeting the feeling came back. The meeting only

temporarily distracted me from the emotion. So, I went grocery shopping (I

needed to do this anyway...I only had beans and tuna fish hehe), then I called a

friend I hadn't spoken to in awhile. Instead of feeling better, I felt blah when

I was on the phone. It wasn't there fault though. It had to do entirely with me

stuffing my feelings and only talking about surface-y things having to do with

medical insurance points and vacation time (comparing their job and mine).

Then I ate two cookies from my groceries and chit-chatted with the cashier...

Then I felt better...I think. Only, I felt N-O-T-H-I-N-G. So that can't be

better. It temporarily sedated me perhaps...

I am thinking about doing an experiment this week where I clear my plate off and

spend more time alone and really try to sit with the feeling. As long as it's

not too much alone time. Its really hard for me to gauge what IS and IS'NT too

much alone time.

Joy

>

>

> Joy, that's normal. When we grow up with so much pain, suffer emotional pain

from partners too, we stuff the pain down being so busy taking care of everyone

else and walking on egg shells. When we're alone, the feelings surface begging

for acceptance.

>

> When I feel that way, I take off for a morning at the beach, I stop by

starbucks and go watch the waves pound the sand and cry until I can't cry

another drop. I fully embrace the pain and treat myself with the same

gentleness I would treat a beautiful friend in pain. when I can do this instead

of avoiding the pain, it passes through me so much quicker and the light truly

begins to shine.

>

> for the first time in my life, I'm not filing my empty time with relationships

and too many projects. I'm okay being alone and I even go to bed 30 minutes

early every night just to have some completely alone and quite time to feel what

I'm feeling, accept it and bless it before i go to bed. It's a great healing

ritual.

>

> I'm so glad that you posted this. Sometimes we think we're losing our minds

with all of this emotional drama and trauma. When we find out our reactions are

really quite healthy and normal, it sure makes the day go better.

>

> I wish you the best Joy!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you Jaie, and to all who are posting back on this. Healing is confusing.

I worry that I am not doing it right.

It's hard for me to tell if it was too much alone time...or not enough.

This is what I did to combat it: since it was too much, I went to a spiritual

meeting, but after the meeting the feeling came back. The meeting only

temporarily distracted me from the emotion. So, I went grocery shopping (I

needed to do this anyway...I only had beans and tuna fish hehe), then I called a

friend I hadn't spoken to in awhile. Instead of feeling better, I felt blah when

I was on the phone. It wasn't there fault though. It had to do entirely with me

stuffing my feelings and only talking about surface-y things having to do with

medical insurance points and vacation time (comparing their job and mine).

Then I ate two cookies from my groceries and chit-chatted with the cashier...

Then I felt better...I think. Only, I felt N-O-T-H-I-N-G. So that can't be

better. It temporarily sedated me perhaps...

I am thinking about doing an experiment this week where I clear my plate off and

spend more time alone and really try to sit with the feeling. As long as it's

not too much alone time. Its really hard for me to gauge what IS and IS'NT too

much alone time.

Joy

>

>

> Joy, that's normal. When we grow up with so much pain, suffer emotional pain

from partners too, we stuff the pain down being so busy taking care of everyone

else and walking on egg shells. When we're alone, the feelings surface begging

for acceptance.

>

> When I feel that way, I take off for a morning at the beach, I stop by

starbucks and go watch the waves pound the sand and cry until I can't cry

another drop. I fully embrace the pain and treat myself with the same

gentleness I would treat a beautiful friend in pain. when I can do this instead

of avoiding the pain, it passes through me so much quicker and the light truly

begins to shine.

>

> for the first time in my life, I'm not filing my empty time with relationships

and too many projects. I'm okay being alone and I even go to bed 30 minutes

early every night just to have some completely alone and quite time to feel what

I'm feeling, accept it and bless it before i go to bed. It's a great healing

ritual.

>

> I'm so glad that you posted this. Sometimes we think we're losing our minds

with all of this emotional drama and trauma. When we find out our reactions are

really quite healthy and normal, it sure makes the day go better.

>

> I wish you the best Joy!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you Jaie, and to all who are posting back on this. Healing is confusing.

I worry that I am not doing it right.

It's hard for me to tell if it was too much alone time...or not enough.

This is what I did to combat it: since it was too much, I went to a spiritual

meeting, but after the meeting the feeling came back. The meeting only

temporarily distracted me from the emotion. So, I went grocery shopping (I

needed to do this anyway...I only had beans and tuna fish hehe), then I called a

friend I hadn't spoken to in awhile. Instead of feeling better, I felt blah when

I was on the phone. It wasn't there fault though. It had to do entirely with me

stuffing my feelings and only talking about surface-y things having to do with

medical insurance points and vacation time (comparing their job and mine).

Then I ate two cookies from my groceries and chit-chatted with the cashier...

Then I felt better...I think. Only, I felt N-O-T-H-I-N-G. So that can't be

better. It temporarily sedated me perhaps...

I am thinking about doing an experiment this week where I clear my plate off and

spend more time alone and really try to sit with the feeling. As long as it's

not too much alone time. Its really hard for me to gauge what IS and IS'NT too

much alone time.

Joy

>

>

> Joy, that's normal. When we grow up with so much pain, suffer emotional pain

from partners too, we stuff the pain down being so busy taking care of everyone

else and walking on egg shells. When we're alone, the feelings surface begging

for acceptance.

>

> When I feel that way, I take off for a morning at the beach, I stop by

starbucks and go watch the waves pound the sand and cry until I can't cry

another drop. I fully embrace the pain and treat myself with the same

gentleness I would treat a beautiful friend in pain. when I can do this instead

of avoiding the pain, it passes through me so much quicker and the light truly

begins to shine.

>

> for the first time in my life, I'm not filing my empty time with relationships

and too many projects. I'm okay being alone and I even go to bed 30 minutes

early every night just to have some completely alone and quite time to feel what

I'm feeling, accept it and bless it before i go to bed. It's a great healing

ritual.

>

> I'm so glad that you posted this. Sometimes we think we're losing our minds

with all of this emotional drama and trauma. When we find out our reactions are

really quite healthy and normal, it sure makes the day go better.

>

> I wish you the best Joy!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kay, You wrote:

the only time I do something methodical...

Yep. Methodical almost = meditative. I get this a lot when drawing or painting.

I do this at my job then I go home and do it sometimes. That is when I start to

hit a nerve...the alone time + the methodicalness + a favorite CD = excruciating

pain. eek...but we will all feel lighter from it.

Joy

>

> It just feels like plain old sadness.

>

> I feel this a lot usually when driving because it is the only time I'm alone

and also the only time I do something methodical. I will cry and cry and I feel

so much better after I do. It is a physical release. I get a medical massage

twice a month and my massage therapist tells me that it can release intense

feelings and many people cry after their first massage. I think it is okay to be

sad sometimes especially since you seem to be building such a strong healthy

lifestyle for yourself. Many of us are grieving the parents and childhoods we

didn't have. People who lose loving moms and dads feel sad. My arthritis water

aerobics instructor was mourning her dad today who died 15 years ago and she was

sad.

> Why can't we mourn for what we never had?

> Kay

>

[Guest guest]

Kay, You wrote:

the only time I do something methodical...

Yep. Methodical almost = meditative. I get this a lot when drawing or painting.

I do this at my job then I go home and do it sometimes. That is when I start to

hit a nerve...the alone time + the methodicalness + a favorite CD = excruciating

pain. eek...but we will all feel lighter from it.

Joy

>

> It just feels like plain old sadness.

>

> I feel this a lot usually when driving because it is the only time I'm alone

and also the only time I do something methodical. I will cry and cry and I feel

so much better after I do. It is a physical release. I get a medical massage

twice a month and my massage therapist tells me that it can release intense

feelings and many people cry after their first massage. I think it is okay to be

sad sometimes especially since you seem to be building such a strong healthy

lifestyle for yourself. Many of us are grieving the parents and childhoods we

didn't have. People who lose loving moms and dads feel sad. My arthritis water

aerobics instructor was mourning her dad today who died 15 years ago and she was

sad.

> Why can't we mourn for what we never had?

> Kay

>

[Guest guest]

Kay, You wrote:

the only time I do something methodical...

Yep. Methodical almost = meditative. I get this a lot when drawing or painting.

I do this at my job then I go home and do it sometimes. That is when I start to

hit a nerve...the alone time + the methodicalness + a favorite CD = excruciating

pain. eek...but we will all feel lighter from it.

Joy

>

> It just feels like plain old sadness.

>

> I feel this a lot usually when driving because it is the only time I'm alone

and also the only time I do something methodical. I will cry and cry and I feel

so much better after I do. It is a physical release. I get a medical massage

twice a month and my massage therapist tells me that it can release intense

feelings and many people cry after their first massage. I think it is okay to be

sad sometimes especially since you seem to be building such a strong healthy

lifestyle for yourself. Many of us are grieving the parents and childhoods we

didn't have. People who lose loving moms and dads feel sad. My arthritis water

aerobics instructor was mourning her dad today who died 15 years ago and she was

sad.

> Why can't we mourn for what we never had?

> Kay

>