gaslighting...1St nada, now sis

[Guest guest]

So I have been completely nc with nada since oct. It feels wonderful! I feel

like the FOG has lifted and I can see clearly now. I was worried about the

holidays but nada didn't try to contact us, not even a card to the kids. So

everything was fine til a friend alerted me to my sis's facebook page, yes

facebook.

Now, we must backtrack 2 years to the day my sis called to tell me she was pg. I

was happy for her, she had been trying for a long time. My sis has a bad habit

of calling me when she is stressed and I have a bad habit of picking up the

phone. Lol. When my sis is stressed she calls and picks a fight with me. She's

been trained by the best of the best (nada) so sometimes I don't see it til its

too late. Anyway, we stayed on the phone til sis found a button to push and then

we argued for a few min over the fact that I didn't like my sis's partner. (This

partner wanted NO parenting role in taking care of the baby and they even got a

2bedroom apt so the partner could have her own room so she didn't have to hear

the baby cry!) They had been together for 5+ years and been trying to get pg for

2. Then the partner wanted a BABY CONTRACT absolving her of ANY childcare

responsibilities unless she willingly volunteered. THIS is the problem I had

with her, not that she is gay, but that her partner is a HORRIBLE person.

So we got off the phone, and I figured in a few days it would blow over....nope.

Shortly after that I got a phonecall from my. Aunt asking me if I really told my

sis that she shouldn't have the baby, and if I truly believe that gay people

should not have children?!?! I was shocked and devestated. I NEVER EVER said

such a thing. My aunt knows my heart and KNEW I don't think like that, but she

just wanted to make sure my sis was lying.

So I was excluded from sis's whole pg, birth, etc because she had told all of

the family and her friends that I wanted her to abort her baby and even went so

far as to tell another family member that I said " its not gods will for gay

people to have babies. " Wtf? I sent a gift to the baby shower via another family

member, I heard she was getting discouraged as her due date went by so I sent a

couple of encouraging emails (no response) and when the baby was born I was on

the email list along with her coworkers, but nada didn't call me to tell me

about the baby for nearly 2wks. I replied to the email with a resounding

contratulations!

now the baby is about to turn 1. A mutual friend asked (on facebook) if my sis

had wished my twin sons a happy 13th birthday. My sis replied, for her 500

friends (40 or so who are mutual friends of ours) to read. " I don't think I am

allowed to....Freak Auntie K with her FREAK family must remain SKELETONS IN THE

CLOSET. " (her original emphasis) I have NEVER said she was a freak! I supported

her even BEFORE she got pg when she was still just dreaming about parenthood. I

have never ever said anything against her and her baby.....but even 2 years

later she is still trying to gain sympathy for something that never occured! Her

friends wrote back in support of her/dogging me a bit.

so I shot her a pretty blunt email about her comment. She wrote back such a

gaslighted response that even my husband looked at it and said " she's

gaslighting you! " She wrote back that I am overreacting to her " tongue in cheek

response to an awkward familial split. Seriously? So she has been on a mission

for 2 YEARS to make me out to be some intolerant creep, and the FIRST TIME I

call her on it when she moves the drama to a public forum I AM THE CRAZY ONE?!?!

Her " apology " was basically " sorry you misunderstood my comment. " I DIDN'T

MISUNDERSTAND IT. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO DAMAGE CONTROL ON THIS RUMOR FOR TWO

YEARS!!!

I Know I am reacting so strongly because ethis is EXACTLY what nada has done my

whole life, try to make me out to be the crazy and unreasonable one. So not sure

what my next move will be......