Guest guest Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 Yes, I know exactly what you are talking about. I too am usually good the first time around, but eat more and more as the evening wears on. I am a total introvert, who finds social gatherings taxing. That's not to say that I don't enjoy them, but they're usually a lot of work. Fortunately for me, most of the ones I go to are musical events, and once I start playing, that gets me away from both the food and having to make small talk. But I too would really like to hear how other folks handle the food at parties. I don't want to have to struggle with it--either by avoiding events, or having to think too much about it, but as McKella says, it's really not very fun to feel sick from eating too much. Tilley > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > -McKella > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 Yes, I know exactly what you are talking about. I too am usually good the first time around, but eat more and more as the evening wears on. I am a total introvert, who finds social gatherings taxing. That's not to say that I don't enjoy them, but they're usually a lot of work. Fortunately for me, most of the ones I go to are musical events, and once I start playing, that gets me away from both the food and having to make small talk. But I too would really like to hear how other folks handle the food at parties. I don't want to have to struggle with it--either by avoiding events, or having to think too much about it, but as McKella says, it's really not very fun to feel sick from eating too much. Tilley > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > -McKella > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 That's why they invented alcohol... Seriously though, I do find it difficult (increasingly so) to be at parties where I feel I have little in common with (or no interest in) those who are present. Does it matter why? Maybe we should discuss which parties and with which people it's more difficult to maintain equilibrium?? See if there's a common thread... Hmmm. Sandarah > > > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > > > -McKella > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 That's why they invented alcohol... Seriously though, I do find it difficult (increasingly so) to be at parties where I feel I have little in common with (or no interest in) those who are present. Does it matter why? Maybe we should discuss which parties and with which people it's more difficult to maintain equilibrium?? See if there's a common thread... Hmmm. Sandarah > > > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > > > -McKella > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 With me, it pretty much seems to be ALL parties. If it's there, I'll usually end up eating it. But then, that's not really true. Since I've started IE, there have been some parties where I haven't, where I've been able to ask myself if I was hungry, and what I really felt like in order to feel GOOD. But mostly I way overeat, and I think it is a degree of social discomfort..... Tilley > > > > > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > > > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > > > > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > > > > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > > > > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > > > > > -McKella > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 There seems to be the commonality here that everyone is somewhat uncomfortable in social situations, and I'm no exception! I wonder if we use food to replace human connection in our lives. I realized that I had come to think of food as companionship when, a few days after my former husband disappeared, I stood at my front door with my key and a full Mc's bag in hand, thinking that since I had that, I was not going home alone. How crazy is that? Well, I've been working hard to become more comfortable being around people, and with time and effort, when it happens, the rewards are great. As far as eating reasonably at first, and then going back and back and ending up eating too much, I can also identify with that. Here's what often helps me. I keep a pot of vegetable soup in my fridge at all times because it's often my only vegetables (I do want to be healthy) and to use it to stave off hunger when I need to do that, like for a party. I'll have enough of it so I'm not hungry at all when I get to the party. Then I look over everything and decide what it is that I'm most hungry for, and eat that. Then I find a place to socialize FAR AWAY from the table. Also, before I go I remeind myself that it is just food, and what I'm really going for is to hold the babies, reconnect with someone, get to know someone better, etc, and then focus on the people, not the food. It usually does help. Sara > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > -McKella > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 There seems to be the commonality here that everyone is somewhat uncomfortable in social situations, and I'm no exception! I wonder if we use food to replace human connection in our lives. I realized that I had come to think of food as companionship when, a few days after my former husband disappeared, I stood at my front door with my key and a full Mc's bag in hand, thinking that since I had that, I was not going home alone. How crazy is that? Well, I've been working hard to become more comfortable being around people, and with time and effort, when it happens, the rewards are great. As far as eating reasonably at first, and then going back and back and ending up eating too much, I can also identify with that. Here's what often helps me. I keep a pot of vegetable soup in my fridge at all times because it's often my only vegetables (I do want to be healthy) and to use it to stave off hunger when I need to do that, like for a party. I'll have enough of it so I'm not hungry at all when I get to the party. Then I look over everything and decide what it is that I'm most hungry for, and eat that. Then I find a place to socialize FAR AWAY from the table. Also, before I go I remeind myself that it is just food, and what I'm really going for is to hold the babies, reconnect with someone, get to know someone better, etc, and then focus on the people, not the food. It usually does help. Sara > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > -McKella > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 There seems to be the commonality here that everyone is somewhat uncomfortable in social situations, and I'm no exception! I wonder if we use food to replace human connection in our lives. I realized that I had come to think of food as companionship when, a few days after my former husband disappeared, I stood at my front door with my key and a full Mc's bag in hand, thinking that since I had that, I was not going home alone. How crazy is that? Well, I've been working hard to become more comfortable being around people, and with time and effort, when it happens, the rewards are great. As far as eating reasonably at first, and then going back and back and ending up eating too much, I can also identify with that. Here's what often helps me. I keep a pot of vegetable soup in my fridge at all times because it's often my only vegetables (I do want to be healthy) and to use it to stave off hunger when I need to do that, like for a party. I'll have enough of it so I'm not hungry at all when I get to the party. Then I look over everything and decide what it is that I'm most hungry for, and eat that. Then I find a place to socialize FAR AWAY from the table. Also, before I go I remeind myself that it is just food, and what I'm really going for is to hold the babies, reconnect with someone, get to know someone better, etc, and then focus on the people, not the food. It usually does help. Sara > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > -McKella > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 I am so gratified to hear that others dread parties as much as I do. I tend to think of myself as relatively social, but at parties, not so much. I've made some re-arrangements this Holiday season to avoid one of the big family gatherings that is comprised mostly of non-family members whose names I can't remember from one year to the next. But there are a couple of others that promise to be a bit - um, stiff. I'll have to reflect on these suggestions; though I don't tend to overeat in public. It's afterwards that I would ordinarly put on the food bag. I call it compensatory eating because I've not eaten or enjoyed eating all that I wanted. Does anybody else do that? Sandarah > > > > > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > > > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > > > > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a > > really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are > > centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I > > want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on > > and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I > > don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you > > swallowed a cinder block. > > > > > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel > > like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in > > my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have > > babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have > > much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't > > feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but > > crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by > > myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I > > stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much > > else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to > > do with me. > > > > > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > > > > > -McKella > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 McKella, Sure, that's my usual reactions to parties. I feel out of place at them. More and more often lately, I have been able to convince myself that everyone else is probably just as insecure as I am, and so long as I can maintain that belief, I am able to " work the room " and check in with each person until I feel uncomfortable, at which point I excuse myself and go to the next person. Otherwise, my best survival strategy is to look around and choose the person who looks most uncomfortable/lonely/unhappy and go give them attention. So long as I focus on them and their needs, I don't overeat and generally, both they and I end up feeling much better. If there doesn't appear to be another person feeling uncomfortable (horrors, am I really the only oddball?) then I see if there is some chore I can do to " help, " like clearing away dishes, picking up trash, etc. Finally, there's the old, " I really must go now " routine. But good job for not picking on yourself when you realize you've overeaten. A tummy ache here and there after parties is not the end of the world, and why suffer more on top of it? Jane > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > -McKella > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 Sandarah, Maybe, our overeating is telling us that we should NOT be at that particular party to begin with. Or maybe if it's sort of a command performance, like family get-togethers or work " parties, " we should simply limit our time there to what we are able to manage without it being such doggone hard work. Funny how when I first read McKella's note, I just thought about my most successful coping strategies, but in reading yours, I wondered why we do this to ourselves at all? Jane > > > > > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > > > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > > > > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > > > > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > > > > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > > > > > -McKella > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Lots of interesting comments! I like the idea of realize " why " I go to these parties. It's funny, my annual family Christmas party is coming up on Saturday, and I really can't think of why I want to go other than because I'm supposed to. It's a tradition I really enjoyed when I was little because I got to see my cousins, Santa brought each kid a present and that was exciting. Now I don't relate to my cousins as well and I'm too old for Santa. Also, Grandma's been inviting her side of the family (she is my mother's stepmother) whom I don't know very well and don't seem to have much in common with. Grandpa's not around any more, so Grandma's usually stressed and grumpy. It's not as much fun as it was when I was a kid. The family that I do care to see, I see quite often anyway. I'm going to skip the part where I guilt-trip myself for being a bad person for feeling this way. I'm just being honest, and it's ok. At this point, the food is the most exciting thing. It's fun for the kids to get together and play, and for the " adults " to sit and mingle. I feel like I'm in between, because I'm part of the " kid " generation even thought I'm 23 and married. No wonder I overeat! I can't just not go though. I would get hell from so many people, it just wouldn't be worth it. I'm excited for the 2 hour drive down through the landscapes that inspire my artwork though. The party is in a tiny little town where I spent a lot of my childhood, so it's steeped in imaginative memories. More than anything, I'd love to take a break during the party and go for a walk. Draw a little bit, write about it. Take some pictures. Even though that's not what I'm " supposed " to focus on at parties (it's not food or people) but maybe it's ok. Maybe I can draw to keep my hands busy while the party is going, but feel free to excuse myself if I need a break. Lots of " aha! " moments here, let's put them to work. -McKella > > > > > > > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > > > > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > > > > > > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > > > > > > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > > > > > > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > > > > > > > -McKella > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Lots of interesting comments! I like the idea of realize " why " I go to these parties. It's funny, my annual family Christmas party is coming up on Saturday, and I really can't think of why I want to go other than because I'm supposed to. It's a tradition I really enjoyed when I was little because I got to see my cousins, Santa brought each kid a present and that was exciting. Now I don't relate to my cousins as well and I'm too old for Santa. Also, Grandma's been inviting her side of the family (she is my mother's stepmother) whom I don't know very well and don't seem to have much in common with. Grandpa's not around any more, so Grandma's usually stressed and grumpy. It's not as much fun as it was when I was a kid. The family that I do care to see, I see quite often anyway. I'm going to skip the part where I guilt-trip myself for being a bad person for feeling this way. I'm just being honest, and it's ok. At this point, the food is the most exciting thing. It's fun for the kids to get together and play, and for the " adults " to sit and mingle. I feel like I'm in between, because I'm part of the " kid " generation even thought I'm 23 and married. No wonder I overeat! I can't just not go though. I would get hell from so many people, it just wouldn't be worth it. I'm excited for the 2 hour drive down through the landscapes that inspire my artwork though. The party is in a tiny little town where I spent a lot of my childhood, so it's steeped in imaginative memories. More than anything, I'd love to take a break during the party and go for a walk. Draw a little bit, write about it. Take some pictures. Even though that's not what I'm " supposed " to focus on at parties (it's not food or people) but maybe it's ok. Maybe I can draw to keep my hands busy while the party is going, but feel free to excuse myself if I need a break. Lots of " aha! " moments here, let's put them to work. -McKella > > > > > > > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > > > > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > > > > > > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > > > > > > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > > > > > > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > > > > > > > -McKella > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Lots of interesting comments! I like the idea of realize " why " I go to these parties. It's funny, my annual family Christmas party is coming up on Saturday, and I really can't think of why I want to go other than because I'm supposed to. It's a tradition I really enjoyed when I was little because I got to see my cousins, Santa brought each kid a present and that was exciting. Now I don't relate to my cousins as well and I'm too old for Santa. Also, Grandma's been inviting her side of the family (she is my mother's stepmother) whom I don't know very well and don't seem to have much in common with. Grandpa's not around any more, so Grandma's usually stressed and grumpy. It's not as much fun as it was when I was a kid. The family that I do care to see, I see quite often anyway. I'm going to skip the part where I guilt-trip myself for being a bad person for feeling this way. I'm just being honest, and it's ok. At this point, the food is the most exciting thing. It's fun for the kids to get together and play, and for the " adults " to sit and mingle. I feel like I'm in between, because I'm part of the " kid " generation even thought I'm 23 and married. No wonder I overeat! I can't just not go though. I would get hell from so many people, it just wouldn't be worth it. I'm excited for the 2 hour drive down through the landscapes that inspire my artwork though. The party is in a tiny little town where I spent a lot of my childhood, so it's steeped in imaginative memories. More than anything, I'd love to take a break during the party and go for a walk. Draw a little bit, write about it. Take some pictures. Even though that's not what I'm " supposed " to focus on at parties (it's not food or people) but maybe it's ok. Maybe I can draw to keep my hands busy while the party is going, but feel free to excuse myself if I need a break. Lots of " aha! " moments here, let's put them to work. -McKella > > > > > > > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > > > > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > > > > > > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > > > > > > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > > > > > > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > > > > > > > -McKella > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Wow--that was just what I was going to suggest--going for a long walk. You may even inspire others to do the same thing. There may be others who are looking for the same thing you are. And drawing is also a great idea. I usually do take my sketchbook, and draw people at events. If you want to look at my website (www.augustcoreopsis.blogspot.com), and click on the sketchbook tag, you can see some of my sketches from various parties and meetings.. Only once has anyone ever told me to stop; usually folks are curious, and want to see them. I go to parties because I want to connect with people I don't usually see, even though I vastly prefer small groups. Good thoughts! Tilley > > > > > > > > > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > > > > > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > > > > > > > > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > > > > > > > > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > > > > > > > > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > > > > > > > > > -McKella > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Wow--that was just what I was going to suggest--going for a long walk. You may even inspire others to do the same thing. There may be others who are looking for the same thing you are. And drawing is also a great idea. I usually do take my sketchbook, and draw people at events. If you want to look at my website (www.augustcoreopsis.blogspot.com), and click on the sketchbook tag, you can see some of my sketches from various parties and meetings.. Only once has anyone ever told me to stop; usually folks are curious, and want to see them. I go to parties because I want to connect with people I don't usually see, even though I vastly prefer small groups. Good thoughts! Tilley > > > > > > > > > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > > > > > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > > > > > > > > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > > > > > > > > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > > > > > > > > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > > > > > > > > > -McKella > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Wow--that was just what I was going to suggest--going for a long walk. You may even inspire others to do the same thing. There may be others who are looking for the same thing you are. And drawing is also a great idea. I usually do take my sketchbook, and draw people at events. If you want to look at my website (www.augustcoreopsis.blogspot.com), and click on the sketchbook tag, you can see some of my sketches from various parties and meetings.. Only once has anyone ever told me to stop; usually folks are curious, and want to see them. I go to parties because I want to connect with people I don't usually see, even though I vastly prefer small groups. Good thoughts! Tilley > > > > > > > > > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > > > > > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > > > > > > > > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > > > > > > > > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > > > > > > > > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > > > > > > > > > -McKella > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 I've been at social events where someone stood up and announced, " After all this good food, I feel the need to go take a walk. Would anyone like to join me? " And someone always did go along. You might be surprised, McKella, at what whoever that person is has to say about how they feel at these gatherings. And remember, it's NOT a need to take a walk to work off calories, but to keep from drifting off the sleep after eating and just get pepped back up. Jane > > > > > > > > > > > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > > > > > > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > > > > > > > > > > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > > > > > > > > > > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > > > > > > > > > > > -McKella > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Great drawings! An inspiring site; thanks for sharing that. Sandarah > > > Wow--that was just what I was going to suggest--going for a long walk. You may even inspire others to do the same thing. There may be others who are looking for the same thing you are. And drawing is also a great idea. I usually do take my sketchbook, and draw people at events. If you want to look at my website (www.augustcoreopsis.blogspot.com), and click on the sketchbook tag, you can see some of my sketches from various parties and meetings.. Only once has anyone ever told me to stop; usually folks are curious, and want to see them. > > I go to parties because I want to connect with people I don't usually see, even though I vastly prefer small groups. > > Good thoughts! > > Tilley > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Great drawings! An inspiring site; thanks for sharing that. Sandarah > > > Wow--that was just what I was going to suggest--going for a long walk. You may even inspire others to do the same thing. There may be others who are looking for the same thing you are. And drawing is also a great idea. I usually do take my sketchbook, and draw people at events. If you want to look at my website (www.augustcoreopsis.blogspot.com), and click on the sketchbook tag, you can see some of my sketches from various parties and meetings.. Only once has anyone ever told me to stop; usually folks are curious, and want to see them. > > I go to parties because I want to connect with people I don't usually see, even though I vastly prefer small groups. > > Good thoughts! > > Tilley > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Great drawings! An inspiring site; thanks for sharing that. Sandarah > > > Wow--that was just what I was going to suggest--going for a long walk. You may even inspire others to do the same thing. There may be others who are looking for the same thing you are. And drawing is also a great idea. I usually do take my sketchbook, and draw people at events. If you want to look at my website (www.augustcoreopsis.blogspot.com), and click on the sketchbook tag, you can see some of my sketches from various parties and meetings.. Only once has anyone ever told me to stop; usually folks are curious, and want to see them. > > I go to parties because I want to connect with people I don't usually see, even though I vastly prefer small groups. > > Good thoughts! > > Tilley > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2011 Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 Hi Mckella, I loved your idea of taking a break to draw of write in the middle of the party and just wanted to say, " Go for it " and know that your IE sisters (at least me) will be there supporting you in spirit. When you do something like that for yourself several things happen 1) you realize you are in control of your life (as much as we are in control) which is extremely empowering 2) one is less likely to overeat when they feel they are taking care of themselves 3) you will be showing yourself how important you are to you 4) you will be tuning into your needs and desires - all that IE is about - and reminding yourself that you truly are the best expert of you 5) you'll probably have way more fun! > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > -McKella > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2011 Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 Hi Mckella, I loved your idea of taking a break to draw of write in the middle of the party and just wanted to say, " Go for it " and know that your IE sisters (at least me) will be there supporting you in spirit. When you do something like that for yourself several things happen 1) you realize you are in control of your life (as much as we are in control) which is extremely empowering 2) one is less likely to overeat when they feel they are taking care of themselves 3) you will be showing yourself how important you are to you 4) you will be tuning into your needs and desires - all that IE is about - and reminding yourself that you truly are the best expert of you 5) you'll probably have way more fun! > > Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. > I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for handling parties. > > I've been eating intuitively for awhile now and I feel like I have a really good grip on it, but I've been struggling at parties that are centered around food like Thanksgiving and Halloween parties. I eat what I want and usually feel good after the initial meal, but as the time wears on and the food is still out, I pick and nibble and get uncomfortably full. I don't feel guilty or beat myself up, but it's not pleasant to feel like you swallowed a cinder block. > > I'm not comfortable with big group, even my extended family, and I feel like I kind of get left out of conversations because I'm sort of alone in my age group. My other female cousins who are close to my age all have babies and I don't, so they tend to group up and I feel like I don't have much to contribute. My mom and aunts all hang out together, but I don't feel like I have much to say there either. I love seeing my family, but crowds overwhelm me and I usually feel like just going into another room by myself. I worry that this will appear rude or anti-social, so instead I stay where everyone else is and eat because I don't feel like I can do much else. It's exhausting to try to fit into a conversation that has nothing to do with me. > > Does anyone else struggle with this? > > -McKella > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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