BPD Mother.....financial irresponsibility/foreclosure

January 4, 2011

Hello everyone...I'm just found this site from reading the " Stop Walking on

Eggshells " book. I am a 28 year old woman with a BPD mother. I am hoping

someone out there has had a similar situation and can help me out. My mother

exhibits so many BPD traits but has never been diagnosed. She is hurtful and

manipulative often with me (same issues I'm sure many of you face). My friends

and other family members tell me to stop putting up with her crap but I don't

feel like that is an option for me.

My mother has been divorced from my dad for 10 years. She is 64 and disabled.

She is now getting foreclosed on because she hasnt been paying the mortgage on

her house (because she doesn't have the money due to many years of compulsive

shopping and unemployment). This has sent my brother and I into a whirlwind of

trying to help her and get an apartment and contact banks. My mother believes

none of this is her fault. She likens it to the earthquakes in Haiti and to

people getting terminal illnesses. I know that part of the disorder is that you

can't take blame for your actions but this is especially frustrating.

Throughout the whole process (which still continues) she has gone from loving

and appreciative to spiteful and suicide threatening. Often many times in the

course of an hour.

I feel incredibly selfish sometimes because I spend so much time doing her stuff

but I really want to be getting my own work done and going out with friends and

relaxing at home. I know people say to " take time for yourself " but whenever I

try I feel so guilty because I should be looking for apartments or calling back

places involved with her.

I guess I don't know what I'm asking....just advice I suppose. I feel like I'm

wearing out my friends and my dad and my brother by always talking about her to

them and maybe you all might be a better source of support. They have started

telling me " just don't deal with her " which would be fine except I can't do

that....I can't have her end up homeless or in a shelter and know I didn't even

try to help.

Thanks for reading.

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