Splitting?

[Guest guest]

Hello, everyone,

I just wanted to get this off my back, as it bothers me to no end. Being that my

nada was my primary " caregiver " growing up, I've come to realize through therapy

that in certain situations I -still- reflect some of the warped ideas I was

brought up with.

In this instance, I mean specifically the idea of splitting. Now, I'm not nearly

as " bad " as my nada is, but it does disturb me when I catch myself behaving this

way. To be honest, at this point in my life I am occasionally confused as to

what the " normal " or " healthy " behavior should look like.

For example, lately I've been having arguments (unintentionally) with a

" friend; " I'll call him Arnold. Arnold is a very conservative christian and

seems to go out of his way to butt heads with me (I imagine he sees it as

defending what it's important to him, though it makes no difference to me or

anyone else's opinion on the matter) on various issues that hit home with me a

well, including women's rights and my agnosticism. We are typically most

friendly during 3 minute conversations.

I'm a very introverted person, so I prefer to have only a few very close

friends, rather than a wide range of acquaintances; too much socializing wears

me out. However, I find that I tend to " cut people out " of my life/drop them

compeletely when I have fundamental disagreements like this, often unconsciously

concluding that they are " stupid, " " mean, " or maybe " inconsiderate. " I know it's

hard to make a judgment like that from a simple post like this, but does this

sound like splitting? I'm afraid I might have that tendency because I feel

interested in having a friend only if they might be close (since, as I said, I

generally don't have semi-acquaintances).

Does this sound like a watered down version of splitting to anyone? Or maybe I'm

just judgmental with the best intentions? (Or simply judgmental?) Does anyone

else have stories they want to share about their nada/fada's legacies (passing

down the gauntlet of perfectionism, distrust, hyper self-criticism, inability to

make decisions for myself, etc., in my case)?

Thank you for reading,

Elle