Guest guest Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. Sandarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Sandarah,Wonderful!I love how you are being so patient with yourself in knowing that you have to " master " legalization before you can work on the hungry/full sensations. you sound very wise!thanks for sharing this.best,abby Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family m to ember even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. Sandarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Sandarah,Wonderful!I love how you are being so patient with yourself in knowing that you have to " master " legalization before you can work on the hungry/full sensations. you sound very wise!thanks for sharing this.best,abby Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family m to ember even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. Sandarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Sandarah,Wonderful!I love how you are being so patient with yourself in knowing that you have to " master " legalization before you can work on the hungry/full sensations. you sound very wise!thanks for sharing this.best,abby Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family m to ember even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. Sandarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Isn't it interesting that after all that time of putting of getting the treat cake for yourself, it turned out not to be all that great after all? Oh, I've found that freezing cakes works quite well, so that's a good idea if you like the cake enough to think you'll want another piece sometime. But I'd encourage you to throw it out myself; I've found it very freeing to release food that isn't what I want, and you said it wasn't sweet like you envisioned. Jane > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > Sandarah > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Isn't it interesting that after all that time of putting of getting the treat cake for yourself, it turned out not to be all that great after all? Oh, I've found that freezing cakes works quite well, so that's a good idea if you like the cake enough to think you'll want another piece sometime. But I'd encourage you to throw it out myself; I've found it very freeing to release food that isn't what I want, and you said it wasn't sweet like you envisioned. Jane > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > Sandarah > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Isn't it interesting that after all that time of putting of getting the treat cake for yourself, it turned out not to be all that great after all? Oh, I've found that freezing cakes works quite well, so that's a good idea if you like the cake enough to think you'll want another piece sometime. But I'd encourage you to throw it out myself; I've found it very freeing to release food that isn't what I want, and you said it wasn't sweet like you envisioned. Jane > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > Sandarah > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Your post made me feel like singing and dancing! What liberation and joy, to be finally able to order such a cake for yourself. For YOURSELF, because you do truly deserve it, and can enjoy it, and not have it be ugly. Yes!!! Tilley > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > Sandarah > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Your post made me feel like singing and dancing! What liberation and joy, to be finally able to order such a cake for yourself. For YOURSELF, because you do truly deserve it, and can enjoy it, and not have it be ugly. Yes!!! Tilley > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > Sandarah > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Your post made me feel like singing and dancing! What liberation and joy, to be finally able to order such a cake for yourself. For YOURSELF, because you do truly deserve it, and can enjoy it, and not have it be ugly. Yes!!! Tilley > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > Sandarah > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 In my off and on dieting days, which are numerous, I've thrown out tons and tons of food so it wouldn't be that empowering.... But... it really wasn't that good... I'll have to think about that. Don't want to waste perfectly good feedings on things that are less than worthy. > > > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > > > Sandarah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 In my off and on dieting days, which are numerous, I've thrown out tons and tons of food so it wouldn't be that empowering.... But... it really wasn't that good... I'll have to think about that. Don't want to waste perfectly good feedings on things that are less than worthy. > > > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > > > Sandarah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 In my off and on dieting days, which are numerous, I've thrown out tons and tons of food so it wouldn't be that empowering.... But... it really wasn't that good... I'll have to think about that. Don't want to waste perfectly good feedings on things that are less than worthy. > > > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > > > Sandarah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Yeah, I would have never done that before IE. It was so simple - and I forgot to mention, chocolate cake and ice cream have been my all-time favorite and all time restricted foods forever! > > > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > > > Sandarah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Yeah, I would have never done that before IE. It was so simple - and I forgot to mention, chocolate cake and ice cream have been my all-time favorite and all time restricted foods forever! > > > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > > > Sandarah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Yeah, I would have never done that before IE. It was so simple - and I forgot to mention, chocolate cake and ice cream have been my all-time favorite and all time restricted foods forever! > > > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > > > Sandarah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 if cake feels like a rare and precious thing, i would KEEP it. to remind yourself that you are worth it, and you can have it anytime YOU decide you actually want it!sometimes it's good to devote space, both physical and emotional, for frivolous things that make us feel pampered. just my take, of course.abby Yeah, I would have never done that before IE. It was so simple - and I forgot to mention, chocolate cake and ice cream have been my all-time favorite and all time restricted foods forever! > > > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > > > Sandarah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 if cake feels like a rare and precious thing, i would KEEP it. to remind yourself that you are worth it, and you can have it anytime YOU decide you actually want it!sometimes it's good to devote space, both physical and emotional, for frivolous things that make us feel pampered. just my take, of course.abby Yeah, I would have never done that before IE. It was so simple - and I forgot to mention, chocolate cake and ice cream have been my all-time favorite and all time restricted foods forever! > > > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > > > Sandarah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 if cake feels like a rare and precious thing, i would KEEP it. to remind yourself that you are worth it, and you can have it anytime YOU decide you actually want it!sometimes it's good to devote space, both physical and emotional, for frivolous things that make us feel pampered. just my take, of course.abby Yeah, I would have never done that before IE. It was so simple - and I forgot to mention, chocolate cake and ice cream have been my all-time favorite and all time restricted foods forever! > > > > Haven't had a lot to say lately, I've been very much inside my process of legalizing all food behaviors, choices, and stopping the voices of recrimination, guilt, shame, when I eat in ways that would have violated all of the old dictums. > > > > There were several recent family birthdays that were celebrated out of town yesterday. I've been gluten allergic for many years now and not once has a family member even tried to create a menu or menu item that was gluten free. Which is fine - but it completely underscores how my needs were acknowledged while growing up. And thus how I learned to treat myself. > > > > For probably four years there's been a GF bakery close to where I work and I've coveted a GF black forest cake. ButI never let myself order one. After all, what would I do with a WHOLE cake besides eat it?! > > > > This week I ordered one. A six inch, three layer, GF chocolate cake with cherries. I picked it up on Friday. Here's the remarkable part - I didn't even open the box until after I'd done some chores around the house and had some dinner. Because - my legalization has sufficiently internalized that there was no sense of urgency and no fear that the diet police would throw it in the garbage. I've eaten one slice and it's Sunday afternoon. > > > > I'm thinking I will go to the store and buy some better frosting for the edges, which have none. It's kind of a bitter cake rather than a sweet cake which is what I wanted. So, I will fix it up so that I'll like it better, cut some slices and freeze them and then have a slice later on when I'm in the mood for it. I don't expect I'll want or need to eat any more than that - because I don't feel urgent about food anymore. > > > > I understand that my body's actual hungry/full signals will kick in when I've gotten the legalization and diet police issue mastered - so for now I'm just eating when I feel like it and if I feel like something and if I eat past full, observing how that feels and quieting down the negativity when it wants to kick in. > > > > I'm already totally recognizing some foods that I don't want at all because they don't honor my body and my body signals are stronger. Yet there are still a lot of grey areas about what I actually like and what likes me. > > > > I'd thought for sure that I had a major dairy problem and by golly, I don't seem to. I think it was all emotions about how terrible it would be of me to eat and enjoy ice cream which is so terribly bad and therefore makes me a terrible person if I let myself have it just because it want it. Blah blah blah. Wrong! > > > > But all in all, I'm glad the IE process is deepening for me. It was a big of a struggle initially - and a couple of times I had to re-think things and start over again. I'm so glad I'm finally learning to learn. > > > > Sandarah > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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