Being blamed for BP's blowups?

[Guest guest]

First of all, I would like to introduce myself to the forum. I came here on a

doctor's recommendation, and when I saw the other posts it felt like a weight

was lifted off of me, because all of these years I have felt so alone in my

problem.

My name is Daisy; I'm 25 years old, and my mother has BPD.

I just wanted to ask you guys...have any of you ever felt as though one or more

of your other relatives blame YOU for the BP's rages and unhappiness?

My Dad is 10 years older than my mother and he's loved her since she was 15

years old; he has worked for most of mine and my brother's childhood, and he

doesn't really know us very well.

(We also never tried to get close to him, because if we ever even indicated it,

she became extremely upset because she wanted to be the favorite parent.)

Anyway, all that my father wants is for her to be happy, and when she isn't

raging at HIM, he blames my brother and me for her discontent, saying we are

" ungrateful bastards " and that we need to " appreciate our mother. "

It is just very uncomfortable to me because I always to my best to be a nice

person and to make the right decisions, and it causes me a lot of anxiety that

it seems my father won't even try to see things for what they are. I know he

can't disagree with her (any sort of disagreement sets her off) but I feel like

he could at least be more empathetic to us.