Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 I think it's a brilliant plan =) If you're comfortable, then go with it! I think it if were me I would donate anything I didn't want to good will or something. There are lots of people who could use it. But yeah, get rid of it however YOU want. Sounds very empowering to me! Mia On Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 8:20 AM, Girlscout Cowboy < girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > > > So, those of you who have been on this group for a long time might remember > a bit of crisis I had years ago. I finally went NC with the rest of my foo, > not just nada, after they tried to force me to see nada. About this time of > year, my bada (who I hate, he was physically and verbally abusive to me for > my entire childhood) decided to delver the Christmas gifts that I had never > gone to pick up from foo because I went NC. I freaked out a bit that he > invaded my house and forced the gifts on me. > > My boyfriend helped me out - he was home, took the gifts and hid them in > the > basement until I was ready to deal with them. It's been 2, maybe even 3 > years and guess what. After 4 months of therapy I think I am ready to deal > with them. > > here is my plan: I'm going to have boyfriend open all of them (they are > wrapped). I do not want the emotional aspect of openning a gift - I would > feel so damned manipulated. I want him to tell me what is in them > (including > sizes if there are clothes because my nada has never bought me the right > size in my life) but I don't want to see them. We will then take them > somewhere - maybe the thrift store and maybe a dumpster and get rid of > them. > There is one gift though, that I want him to unwrap and give to me. My dad > told me he had picked something special out for me that year. I love my > dad, > even though he is an enabling son of a bitch who stood by while nada abused > me. I suspect it is a piece of " real " native american jewlery or art. > That's > what he usually gives me. he buys it when he travels around the southwest > U.S. I have quite a lot of it, including a ring from when I was about 4 > years old that only fits on my pinky. I also have necklaces, earrings and a > sculpture of a badger (his nickname for me). I love all of them and wear > them often, even though turquoise isn't exactly my personal style, but its > a > part of my past so I make it work. I expect I will cry when I see it. I > very > rarely cry - I didn' even cry yesterday thinking about my dead brother and > all that I've lost. I think I've developed kind of a tough girl attitude. I > haven't really cried a single time in months of therapy. ha ha. > > What does everyone think of my plan to dispose of my gifts? I'm ready to > put > that issue to rest. I need to talk to boyfriend about it when he wakes up a > little later. I'll be pleased to repor to my therapist that I was able to > say goodbye to that memory. I'll also have him give me my grandmother's > card. She is dead now so I could save another bit of her handwriting. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 I think it's a brilliant plan =) If you're comfortable, then go with it! I think it if were me I would donate anything I didn't want to good will or something. There are lots of people who could use it. But yeah, get rid of it however YOU want. Sounds very empowering to me! Mia On Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 8:20 AM, Girlscout Cowboy < girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > > > So, those of you who have been on this group for a long time might remember > a bit of crisis I had years ago. I finally went NC with the rest of my foo, > not just nada, after they tried to force me to see nada. About this time of > year, my bada (who I hate, he was physically and verbally abusive to me for > my entire childhood) decided to delver the Christmas gifts that I had never > gone to pick up from foo because I went NC. I freaked out a bit that he > invaded my house and forced the gifts on me. > > My boyfriend helped me out - he was home, took the gifts and hid them in > the > basement until I was ready to deal with them. It's been 2, maybe even 3 > years and guess what. After 4 months of therapy I think I am ready to deal > with them. > > here is my plan: I'm going to have boyfriend open all of them (they are > wrapped). I do not want the emotional aspect of openning a gift - I would > feel so damned manipulated. I want him to tell me what is in them > (including > sizes if there are clothes because my nada has never bought me the right > size in my life) but I don't want to see them. We will then take them > somewhere - maybe the thrift store and maybe a dumpster and get rid of > them. > There is one gift though, that I want him to unwrap and give to me. My dad > told me he had picked something special out for me that year. I love my > dad, > even though he is an enabling son of a bitch who stood by while nada abused > me. I suspect it is a piece of " real " native american jewlery or art. > That's > what he usually gives me. he buys it when he travels around the southwest > U.S. I have quite a lot of it, including a ring from when I was about 4 > years old that only fits on my pinky. I also have necklaces, earrings and a > sculpture of a badger (his nickname for me). I love all of them and wear > them often, even though turquoise isn't exactly my personal style, but its > a > part of my past so I make it work. I expect I will cry when I see it. I > very > rarely cry - I didn' even cry yesterday thinking about my dead brother and > all that I've lost. I think I've developed kind of a tough girl attitude. I > haven't really cried a single time in months of therapy. ha ha. > > What does everyone think of my plan to dispose of my gifts? I'm ready to > put > that issue to rest. I need to talk to boyfriend about it when he wakes up a > little later. I'll be pleased to repor to my therapist that I was able to > say goodbye to that memory. I'll also have him give me my grandmother's > card. She is dead now so I could save another bit of her handwriting. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 I think your plan is a good one. Having those wrapped gifts sitting there is like having something hanging over your head. You need to get rid of them in one way or another. Having your boyfriend open them instead of doing yourself keeps you emotionally distant from the process while still letting you know what's there. Giving everything except the gift from your dad to a thrift store sounds like a good idea to me. At 08:20 AM 01/14/2011 Girlscout Cowboy wrote: >So, those of you who have been on this group for a long time >might remember >a bit of crisis I had years ago. I finally went NC with the >rest of my foo, >not just nada, after they tried to force me to see nada. About >this time of >year, my bada (who I hate, he was physically and verbally >abusive to me for >my entire childhood) decided to delver the Christmas gifts that >I had never >gone to pick up from foo because I went NC. I freaked out a bit >that he >invaded my house and forced the gifts on me. > >My boyfriend helped me out - he was home, took the gifts and >hid them in the >basement until I was ready to deal with them. It's been 2, >maybe even 3 >years and guess what. After 4 months of therapy I think I am >ready to deal >with them. > >here is my plan: I'm going to have boyfriend open all of them >(they are >wrapped). I do not want the emotional aspect of openning a gift >- I would >feel so damned manipulated. I want him to tell me what is in >them (including >sizes if there are clothes because my nada has never bought me >the right >size in my life) but I don't want to see them. We will then >take them >somewhere - maybe the thrift store and maybe a dumpster and get >rid of them. >There is one gift though, that I want him to unwrap and give to >me. My dad >told me he had picked something special out for me that year. I >love my dad, >even though he is an enabling son of a bitch who stood by while >nada abused >me. I suspect it is a piece of " real " native american jewlery >or art. That's >what he usually gives me. he buys it when he travels around the >southwest >U.S. I have quite a lot of it, including a ring from when I >was about 4 >years old that only fits on my pinky. I also have necklaces, >earrings and a >sculpture of a badger (his nickname for me). I love all of them >and wear >them often, even though turquoise isn't exactly my personal >style, but its a >part of my past so I make it work. I expect I will cry when I >see it. I very >rarely cry - I didn' even cry yesterday thinking about my dead >brother and >all that I've lost. I think I've developed kind of a tough girl >attitude. I >haven't really cried a single time in months of therapy. ha >ha. > >What does everyone think of my plan to dispose of my gifts? I'm >ready to put >that issue to rest. I need to talk to boyfriend about it when >he wakes up a >little later. I'll be pleased to repor to my therapist that I >was able to >say goodbye to that memory. I'll also have him give me my >grandmother's >card. She is dead now so I could save another bit of her >handwriting. -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 I think it's a great plan! It honors you, it's well thought-out, and it keeps " them " far away from you. I like the idea of giving them away to a thrift store or something. To me, it highlights your power to turn a " curse " into a " blessing " for others. Like water into wine. Or, in this case, poop into treasure. (smile). What a great way to remind yourself that you are the most important person here, you are better than their best (gifts), and you are moving on. I'm really impressed by this!! You are tremendously strong and wise!! Blessings, Karla > > So, those of you who have been on this group for a long time might remember > a bit of crisis I had years ago. I finally went NC with the rest of my foo, > not just nada, after they tried to force me to see nada. About this time of > year, my bada (who I hate, he was physically and verbally abusive to me for > my entire childhood) decided to delver the Christmas gifts that I had never > gone to pick up from foo because I went NC. I freaked out a bit that he > invaded my house and forced the gifts on me. > > My boyfriend helped me out - he was home, took the gifts and hid them in the > basement until I was ready to deal with them. It's been 2, maybe even 3 > years and guess what. After 4 months of therapy I think I am ready to deal > with them. > > here is my plan: I'm going to have boyfriend open all of them (they are > wrapped). I do not want the emotional aspect of openning a gift - I would > feel so damned manipulated. I want him to tell me what is in them (including > sizes if there are clothes because my nada has never bought me the right > size in my life) but I don't want to see them. We will then take them > somewhere - maybe the thrift store and maybe a dumpster and get rid of them. > There is one gift though, that I want him to unwrap and give to me. My dad > told me he had picked something special out for me that year. I love my dad, > even though he is an enabling son of a bitch who stood by while nada abused > me. I suspect it is a piece of " real " native american jewlery or art. That's > what he usually gives me. he buys it when he travels around the southwest > U.S. I have quite a lot of it, including a ring from when I was about 4 > years old that only fits on my pinky. I also have necklaces, earrings and a > sculpture of a badger (his nickname for me). I love all of them and wear > them often, even though turquoise isn't exactly my personal style, but its a > part of my past so I make it work. I expect I will cry when I see it. I very > rarely cry - I didn' even cry yesterday thinking about my dead brother and > all that I've lost. I think I've developed kind of a tough girl attitude. I > haven't really cried a single time in months of therapy. ha ha. > > What does everyone think of my plan to dispose of my gifts? I'm ready to put > that issue to rest. I need to talk to boyfriend about it when he wakes up a > little later. I'll be pleased to repor to my therapist that I was able to > say goodbye to that memory. I'll also have him give me my grandmother's > card. She is dead now so I could save another bit of her handwriting. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 I think it's a great plan! It honors you, it's well thought-out, and it keeps " them " far away from you. I like the idea of giving them away to a thrift store or something. To me, it highlights your power to turn a " curse " into a " blessing " for others. Like water into wine. Or, in this case, poop into treasure. (smile). What a great way to remind yourself that you are the most important person here, you are better than their best (gifts), and you are moving on. I'm really impressed by this!! You are tremendously strong and wise!! Blessings, Karla > > So, those of you who have been on this group for a long time might remember > a bit of crisis I had years ago. I finally went NC with the rest of my foo, > not just nada, after they tried to force me to see nada. About this time of > year, my bada (who I hate, he was physically and verbally abusive to me for > my entire childhood) decided to delver the Christmas gifts that I had never > gone to pick up from foo because I went NC. I freaked out a bit that he > invaded my house and forced the gifts on me. > > My boyfriend helped me out - he was home, took the gifts and hid them in the > basement until I was ready to deal with them. It's been 2, maybe even 3 > years and guess what. After 4 months of therapy I think I am ready to deal > with them. > > here is my plan: I'm going to have boyfriend open all of them (they are > wrapped). I do not want the emotional aspect of openning a gift - I would > feel so damned manipulated. I want him to tell me what is in them (including > sizes if there are clothes because my nada has never bought me the right > size in my life) but I don't want to see them. We will then take them > somewhere - maybe the thrift store and maybe a dumpster and get rid of them. > There is one gift though, that I want him to unwrap and give to me. My dad > told me he had picked something special out for me that year. I love my dad, > even though he is an enabling son of a bitch who stood by while nada abused > me. I suspect it is a piece of " real " native american jewlery or art. That's > what he usually gives me. he buys it when he travels around the southwest > U.S. I have quite a lot of it, including a ring from when I was about 4 > years old that only fits on my pinky. I also have necklaces, earrings and a > sculpture of a badger (his nickname for me). I love all of them and wear > them often, even though turquoise isn't exactly my personal style, but its a > part of my past so I make it work. I expect I will cry when I see it. I very > rarely cry - I didn' even cry yesterday thinking about my dead brother and > all that I've lost. I think I've developed kind of a tough girl attitude. I > haven't really cried a single time in months of therapy. ha ha. > > What does everyone think of my plan to dispose of my gifts? I'm ready to put > that issue to rest. I need to talk to boyfriend about it when he wakes up a > little later. I'll be pleased to repor to my therapist that I was able to > say goodbye to that memory. I'll also have him give me my grandmother's > card. She is dead now so I could save another bit of her handwriting. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 I think it's a great plan! It honors you, it's well thought-out, and it keeps " them " far away from you. I like the idea of giving them away to a thrift store or something. To me, it highlights your power to turn a " curse " into a " blessing " for others. Like water into wine. Or, in this case, poop into treasure. (smile). What a great way to remind yourself that you are the most important person here, you are better than their best (gifts), and you are moving on. I'm really impressed by this!! You are tremendously strong and wise!! Blessings, Karla > > So, those of you who have been on this group for a long time might remember > a bit of crisis I had years ago. I finally went NC with the rest of my foo, > not just nada, after they tried to force me to see nada. About this time of > year, my bada (who I hate, he was physically and verbally abusive to me for > my entire childhood) decided to delver the Christmas gifts that I had never > gone to pick up from foo because I went NC. I freaked out a bit that he > invaded my house and forced the gifts on me. > > My boyfriend helped me out - he was home, took the gifts and hid them in the > basement until I was ready to deal with them. It's been 2, maybe even 3 > years and guess what. After 4 months of therapy I think I am ready to deal > with them. > > here is my plan: I'm going to have boyfriend open all of them (they are > wrapped). I do not want the emotional aspect of openning a gift - I would > feel so damned manipulated. I want him to tell me what is in them (including > sizes if there are clothes because my nada has never bought me the right > size in my life) but I don't want to see them. We will then take them > somewhere - maybe the thrift store and maybe a dumpster and get rid of them. > There is one gift though, that I want him to unwrap and give to me. My dad > told me he had picked something special out for me that year. I love my dad, > even though he is an enabling son of a bitch who stood by while nada abused > me. I suspect it is a piece of " real " native american jewlery or art. That's > what he usually gives me. he buys it when he travels around the southwest > U.S. I have quite a lot of it, including a ring from when I was about 4 > years old that only fits on my pinky. I also have necklaces, earrings and a > sculpture of a badger (his nickname for me). I love all of them and wear > them often, even though turquoise isn't exactly my personal style, but its a > part of my past so I make it work. I expect I will cry when I see it. I very > rarely cry - I didn' even cry yesterday thinking about my dead brother and > all that I've lost. I think I've developed kind of a tough girl attitude. I > haven't really cried a single time in months of therapy. ha ha. > > What does everyone think of my plan to dispose of my gifts? I'm ready to put > that issue to rest. I need to talk to boyfriend about it when he wakes up a > little later. I'll be pleased to repor to my therapist that I was able to > say goodbye to that memory. I'll also have him give me my grandmother's > card. She is dead now so I could save another bit of her handwriting. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 If it were me, I'd have him unwrap them when I wasn't home and dispose of them immediately. Without telling me what is in them. Period. There is no reason on earth why I would want to know what was in those boxes. Every single time I'l look at the, or pass a similar item in a store, it would make " them " (Nada, foo, etc.) real and present in my mind. I don't need that. No one does. I have gotten rid of 'things' in my house that make me sad and, yes, that includes presents. Let someone else enjoy them without me knowing what they're enjoying. As to the jewelry thing? Same goes with it. It's a part of your past, sure... so is the abuse. Do you want to look at something lovely and associate it with, " even though he is an enabling son of a bitch who stood by while nada abused me. " No thank you... Set yourself free. Just because the gifts were delivered to YOU (as a way to bully your emotional resolve) doesn't mean they are good for you. Don't open them and imprint them on your heart. If the thrift stores would take wrapped presents, that's even better...that way no one knows... but they won't. Really... don't get involved with them. Walk away and stay sane. Lynnette > > So, those of you who have been on this group for a long time might remember > a bit of crisis I had years ago. I finally went NC with the rest of my foo, > not just nada, after they tried to force me to see nada. About this time of > year, my bada (who I hate, he was physically and verbally abusive to me for > my entire childhood) decided to delver the Christmas gifts that I had never > gone to pick up from foo because I went NC. I freaked out a bit that he > invaded my house and forced the gifts on me. > > My boyfriend helped me out - he was home, took the gifts and hid them in the > basement until I was ready to deal with them. It's been 2, maybe even 3 > years and guess what. After 4 months of therapy I think I am ready to deal > with them. > > here is my plan: I'm going to have boyfriend open all of them (they are > wrapped). I do not want the emotional aspect of openning a gift - I would > feel so damned manipulated. I want him to tell me what is in them (including > sizes if there are clothes because my nada has never bought me the right > size in my life) but I don't want to see them. We will then take them > somewhere - maybe the thrift store and maybe a dumpster and get rid of them. > There is one gift though, that I want him to unwrap and give to me. My dad > told me he had picked something special out for me that year. I love my dad, > even though he is an enabling son of a bitch who stood by while nada abused > me. I suspect it is a piece of " real " native american jewlery or art. That's > what he usually gives me. he buys it when he travels around the southwest > U.S. I have quite a lot of it, including a ring from when I was about 4 > years old that only fits on my pinky. I also have necklaces, earrings and a > sculpture of a badger (his nickname for me). I love all of them and wear > them often, even though turquoise isn't exactly my personal style, but its a > part of my past so I make it work. I expect I will cry when I see it. I very > rarely cry - I didn' even cry yesterday thinking about my dead brother and > all that I've lost. I think I've developed kind of a tough girl attitude. I > haven't really cried a single time in months of therapy. ha ha. > > What does everyone think of my plan to dispose of my gifts? I'm ready to put > that issue to rest. I need to talk to boyfriend about it when he wakes up a > little later. I'll be pleased to repor to my therapist that I was able to > say goodbye to that memory. I'll also have him give me my grandmother's > card. She is dead now so I could save another bit of her handwriting. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 i think your plan's very good, esp the part about having your boyfriend open the gifts. It's less of an emotional impact on you that way. let us know how it goes. > > So, those of you who have been on this group for a long time might remember > a bit of crisis I had years ago. I finally went NC with the rest of my foo, > not just nada, after they tried to force me to see nada. About this time of > year, my bada (who I hate, he was physically and verbally abusive to me for > my entire childhood) decided to delver the Christmas gifts that I had never > gone to pick up from foo because I went NC. I freaked out a bit that he > invaded my house and forced the gifts on me. > > My boyfriend helped me out - he was home, took the gifts and hid them in the > basement until I was ready to deal with them. It's been 2, maybe even 3 > years and guess what. After 4 months of therapy I think I am ready to deal > with them. > > here is my plan: I'm going to have boyfriend open all of them (they are > wrapped). I do not want the emotional aspect of openning a gift - I would > feel so damned manipulated. I want him to tell me what is in them (including > sizes if there are clothes because my nada has never bought me the right > size in my life) but I don't want to see them. We will then take them > somewhere - maybe the thrift store and maybe a dumpster and get rid of them. > There is one gift though, that I want him to unwrap and give to me. My dad > told me he had picked something special out for me that year. I love my dad, > even though he is an enabling son of a bitch who stood by while nada abused > me. I suspect it is a piece of " real " native american jewlery or art. That's > what he usually gives me. he buys it when he travels around the southwest > U.S. I have quite a lot of it, including a ring from when I was about 4 > years old that only fits on my pinky. I also have necklaces, earrings and a > sculpture of a badger (his nickname for me). I love all of them and wear > them often, even though turquoise isn't exactly my personal style, but its a > part of my past so I make it work. I expect I will cry when I see it. I very > rarely cry - I didn' even cry yesterday thinking about my dead brother and > all that I've lost. I think I've developed kind of a tough girl attitude. I > haven't really cried a single time in months of therapy. ha ha. > > What does everyone think of my plan to dispose of my gifts? I'm ready to put > that issue to rest. I need to talk to boyfriend about it when he wakes up a > little later. I'll be pleased to repor to my therapist that I was able to > say goodbye to that memory. I'll also have him give me my grandmother's > card. She is dead now so I could save another bit of her handwriting. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 I agree, that sounds like a very logical way to handle that situation. Big thumb's up! -Annie > > I think your plan is a good one. Having those wrapped gifts > sitting there is like having something hanging over your head. > You need to get rid of them in one way or another. Having your > boyfriend open them instead of doing yourself keeps you > emotionally distant from the process while still letting you > know what's there. Giving everything except the gift from your > dad to a thrift store sounds like a good idea to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 I agree, that sounds like a very logical way to handle that situation. Big thumb's up! -Annie > > I think your plan is a good one. Having those wrapped gifts > sitting there is like having something hanging over your head. > You need to get rid of them in one way or another. Having your > boyfriend open them instead of doing yourself keeps you > emotionally distant from the process while still letting you > know what's there. Giving everything except the gift from your > dad to a thrift store sounds like a good idea to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 Its done. I'm on my way to the dumpster at the church that they used to attack me. Ha ha. Feels great. On Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 1:53 PM, anuria67854 wrote: > > > I agree, that sounds like a very logical way to handle that situation. > Big thumb's up! > -Annie > > > > > > > I think your plan is a good one. Having those wrapped gifts > > sitting there is like having something hanging over your head. > > You need to get rid of them in one way or another. Having your > > boyfriend open them instead of doing yourself keeps you > > emotionally distant from the process while still letting you > > know what's there. Giving everything except the gift from your > > dad to a thrift store sounds like a good idea to me. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 Its done. I'm on my way to the dumpster at the church that they used to attack me. Ha ha. Feels great. On Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 1:53 PM, anuria67854 wrote: > > > I agree, that sounds like a very logical way to handle that situation. > Big thumb's up! > -Annie > > > > > > > I think your plan is a good one. Having those wrapped gifts > > sitting there is like having something hanging over your head. > > You need to get rid of them in one way or another. Having your > > boyfriend open them instead of doing yourself keeps you > > emotionally distant from the process while still letting you > > know what's there. Giving everything except the gift from your > > dad to a thrift store sounds like a good idea to me. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 Dumpster instead of thrift store... hmmmmm... very telling ;o) Good to get it out! Lynnette > > > > > > I think your plan is a good one. Having those wrapped gifts > > > sitting there is like having something hanging over your head. > > > You need to get rid of them in one way or another. Having your > > > boyfriend open them instead of doing yourself keeps you > > > emotionally distant from the process while still letting you > > > know what's there. Giving everything except the gift from your > > > dad to a thrift store sounds like a good idea to me. > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 Dumpster instead of thrift store... hmmmmm... very telling ;o) Good to get it out! Lynnette > > > > > > I think your plan is a good one. Having those wrapped gifts > > > sitting there is like having something hanging over your head. > > > You need to get rid of them in one way or another. Having your > > > boyfriend open them instead of doing yourself keeps you > > > emotionally distant from the process while still letting you > > > know what's there. Giving everything except the gift from your > > > dad to a thrift store sounds like a good idea to me. > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 Sounds REALLY empowering Girlscout. Good for you! I hope this has been a healing experience for you =) Mia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 Sounds REALLY empowering Girlscout. Good for you! I hope this has been a healing experience for you =) Mia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 Sounds REALLY empowering Girlscout. Good for you! I hope this has been a healing experience for you =) Mia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 Yeah dumpster all the way. I'll donate something nice another day > > > Sounds REALLY empowering Girlscout. Good for you! I hope this has been a > healing experience for you =) > > Mia > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 So this is symbolic - first of all, boyfriend found checks. Ha ha ha I didn't cash their checks for over 2 years. . . That made me feel strong and empowered. And second of all, I kept something. I'm not throwing away my entire past. I just threw away most of it. A set of really awesome scissors were included - about 8 pairs of sewing scissors in all sizes which is a perfect gift for me - i sew and craft like crazy but I don't buy things like that for myself. So I kept the one positive kernal in the bunch. Interestingly there wasn't anything that he could determine was from my dad. .. . . As we approached the dumpster, I took the box from boyfriend and made the end of the journey on my own and then I chucked that shit - not as hard as I could - but a little harder than nessecary. And then I cried for about 2 min. I am a little disturbed by how hard it is for me to cry. . . but I got a bit of it out. On Sat, Jan 15, 2011 at 4:07 PM, Girlscout Cowboy < girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > Yeah dumpster all the way. I'll donate something nice another day > > > > >> >> >> Sounds REALLY empowering Girlscout. Good for you! I hope this has been a >> healing experience for you =) >> >> Mia >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 So this is symbolic - first of all, boyfriend found checks. Ha ha ha I didn't cash their checks for over 2 years. . . That made me feel strong and empowered. And second of all, I kept something. I'm not throwing away my entire past. I just threw away most of it. A set of really awesome scissors were included - about 8 pairs of sewing scissors in all sizes which is a perfect gift for me - i sew and craft like crazy but I don't buy things like that for myself. So I kept the one positive kernal in the bunch. Interestingly there wasn't anything that he could determine was from my dad. .. . . As we approached the dumpster, I took the box from boyfriend and made the end of the journey on my own and then I chucked that shit - not as hard as I could - but a little harder than nessecary. And then I cried for about 2 min. I am a little disturbed by how hard it is for me to cry. . . but I got a bit of it out. On Sat, Jan 15, 2011 at 4:07 PM, Girlscout Cowboy < girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > Yeah dumpster all the way. I'll donate something nice another day > > > > >> >> >> Sounds REALLY empowering Girlscout. Good for you! I hope this has been a >> healing experience for you =) >> >> Mia >> >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 I am so glad to hear you are on your way to a dumpster. I had to do the same thing on two occasions that I can think of, when I could see the razor-sharp hooks " shining " underneath the pretty wrapping, just waiting to dig into my flesh the minute I opened them. They are not gifts, They are traps with teeth. Also, I've never heard or read anywhere but in your post (this is a first!) an experience so familiar to me--how a sweet-looking gift can set off a panic attack. How just having a benign item like that in the house can feel like having a hand grenade in the house, inciting fear. Yeah, get that stuff gone outta the house. Next time, if there's a next time, I can imagine you either refusing them at the door, or, accepting the gifts with grace and thanks, and then marching everything to the trash the minute the door closes. No conflicting emotions, only certainty about the right thing to do. Ha! AFB > > > > I think your plan is a good one. Having those wrapped gifts > > sitting there is like having something hanging over your head. > > You need to get rid of them in one way or another. Having your > > boyfriend open them instead of doing yourself keeps you > > emotionally distant from the process while still letting you > > know what's there. Giving everything except the gift from your > > dad to a thrift store sounds like a good idea to me. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 I am so glad to hear you are on your way to a dumpster. I had to do the same thing on two occasions that I can think of, when I could see the razor-sharp hooks " shining " underneath the pretty wrapping, just waiting to dig into my flesh the minute I opened them. They are not gifts, They are traps with teeth. Also, I've never heard or read anywhere but in your post (this is a first!) an experience so familiar to me--how a sweet-looking gift can set off a panic attack. How just having a benign item like that in the house can feel like having a hand grenade in the house, inciting fear. Yeah, get that stuff gone outta the house. Next time, if there's a next time, I can imagine you either refusing them at the door, or, accepting the gifts with grace and thanks, and then marching everything to the trash the minute the door closes. No conflicting emotions, only certainty about the right thing to do. Ha! AFB > > > > I think your plan is a good one. Having those wrapped gifts > > sitting there is like having something hanging over your head. > > You need to get rid of them in one way or another. Having your > > boyfriend open them instead of doing yourself keeps you > > emotionally distant from the process while still letting you > > know what's there. Giving everything except the gift from your > > dad to a thrift store sounds like a good idea to me. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 That's great! Way to go Girlscout! My nada has always given me her old socks, clothes and junk so she can buy more excessively without feeling guilty. Lately I've been throwing out basically anything from her. I relish it each time I throw away some old pants or worn out socks. (I wasn't " allowed " to throw them away because she comes back and asks for the stuff again later...) +Coal Miner's Daughter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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