Re: Hello, I am new and new to intuitive eating.

October 6, 2011

Dear Fay,I am glad to hear of your recent progress with intuitive eating. I was on diets/dieting restriction for 13 years in a 12 step program and finding normalized IE has been a tremendous joy for me so far. I've been IEing since May 15th when I was in ED treatment for compulsive overeating.I am married (11 years) to my domestic partner who has been a compulsive overeater all her life. She still actively COEs and it was hard for me to maintain any type of diet or dieting restriction program when there is so much food in the house (think food hoarder. There is not a room in this home without food in it). Eventually, the temptation led me back to the food. Every time. It was very disheartening.Now that I have found intuitive eating I have not only discovered that I can detach better from my partner and her behaviors, but that we have had less arguments over what to make for supper, where to go out to eat etc. Since I can eat any food in moderation I have found am no longer restricted to specific restaurants or specific recipes. Which is really nice!My partner isn't concerned about my regaining the weight, she just lets me do what I need to for myself and is watching from a distance to see how this all turns out one day at a time. I have been sharing about IE with her and am having her read the "Normal Eating" book. I think the more your husband reads on it the better he will understand what you are trying to do. Socially I interact with a lot of friends and family now and am often asked why I am eating a particular food when I'm "supposed" to be on a "diet" given my diabetes. This frequently happens when I have my dessert after lunch or dinner. I am utilizing these opportunities to explain IE to others because I want to share with them that there IS another healthy way to live vs. the dieting method.Keep up your efforts - it is worth it!Best wishes,Kerry aka DressyFemme

October 6, 2011

Dear Fay,I am glad to hear of your recent progress with intuitive eating. I was on diets/dieting restriction for 13 years in a 12 step program and finding normalized IE has been a tremendous joy for me so far. I've been IEing since May 15th when I was in ED treatment for compulsive overeating.I am married (11 years) to my domestic partner who has been a compulsive overeater all her life. She still actively COEs and it was hard for me to maintain any type of diet or dieting restriction program when there is so much food in the house (think food hoarder. There is not a room in this home without food in it). Eventually, the temptation led me back to the food. Every time. It was very disheartening.Now that I have found intuitive eating I have not only discovered that I can detach better from my partner and her behaviors, but that we have had less arguments over what to make for supper, where to go out to eat etc. Since I can eat any food in moderation I have found am no longer restricted to specific restaurants or specific recipes. Which is really nice!My partner isn't concerned about my regaining the weight, she just lets me do what I need to for myself and is watching from a distance to see how this all turns out one day at a time. I have been sharing about IE with her and am having her read the "Normal Eating" book. I think the more your husband reads on it the better he will understand what you are trying to do. Socially I interact with a lot of friends and family now and am often asked why I am eating a particular food when I'm "supposed" to be on a "diet" given my diabetes. This frequently happens when I have my dessert after lunch or dinner. I am utilizing these opportunities to explain IE to others because I want to share with them that there IS another healthy way to live vs. the dieting method.Keep up your efforts - it is worth it!Best wishes,Kerry aka DressyFemme

October 6, 2011

I have had friends with similar reactions and so my response has been to stop

talking about IE to anyone. How I eat is my business, not theirs. But I

recognize this is a much harder proposition with a spouse.

Personally, I would tell him that you appreciate his concern but that since you

have twice regained significant amounts of weight after dieting, clearly, that

did not work and now you're trying something different that you believe will be

helpful and that you will continue to monitor your health and make adjustments,

as needed. End of story. Granted, my experience has jaded me, but I just feel

the less said, the better. Probably because feeling judged is a big trigger for

me that is guaranteed to send me into binge eating. But I think it's fair to

keep encouraging him to read the book, if he hasn't already done so and to say

that this works for people, so you are going to give it a try and that you'd

appreciate his support. Hopefully, that will do the trick.

Josie

>

> Hi my name is fay, I have lost over a hundred pounds twice in my life so i

know how to lose the weight but keeping it off is a different story. I am tried

of dieting with all the counting of calories, measuring and weighing of food so

intuitive eating has come at a good time in my life. I have been eating

intuitively for 2-3 weeks and i love it,i feel like i have been set free.

>

> My husband does not understand intuitive eating and he is concern i will gain

the 35 pounds that i have already lost this year. He is concern for health

reason not with what i look like. I told him he needs to read the book that we

have on it. He may not understand it but he has commented on my clothes fitting

looser.

>

> Has anyone else had people in there life not understand intuitive eat and

would rather them to stay on a diet, if so what did you do to get them to

understand?

>

> Take care

> Fay

>

October 6, 2011

Hi Fay, welcome and I am glad to hear that you are finding IE to be of use to

you. I wasn't a 'career' dieter like many seem to have been, but my unhappiness

with dieting and diet mentality is genuine and presented me with plenty of

challenges when I chose to embrace IE for myself.

I too find it difficult to understand why others don't see the falseness of

dieting but I have come to find that they will or won't in their own time and

place. There seems to be a LOT of fear surrounding the issue of what really

ought to be a personal one - our own bodies. I think that if you can release the

energy you delegate to 'concern for others' and direct that towards your own

needs - like incorporating IE into your own life - then not only will YOU get

what you need, others can chose to see the positive changes that you will be

getting and perhaps begin to desire them for themselves. This topic reminds me

of what I was told by my instructor when I learned life saving in swimming class

many years ago. She told us that if you are NOT able to save a person who is

drowning, then do NOT try to as then TWO people will drown instead of one. Soooo

its 'save yourself' time and by all means do NOT feel guilty about what others

do or don't do. That is their choice.

Best wishes for your IE journey - Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hi my name is fay, I have lost over a hundred pounds twice in my life so i

know how to lose the weight but keeping it off is a different story. I am tried

of dieting with all the counting of calories, measuring and weighing of food so

intuitive eating has come at a good time in my life. I have been eating

intuitively for 2-3 weeks and i love it,i feel like i have been set free.

>

> My husband does not understand intuitive eating and he is concern i will gain

the 35 pounds that i have already lost this year. He is concern for health

reason not with what i look like. I told him he needs to read the book that we

have on it. He may not understand it but he has commented on my clothes fitting

looser.

>

> Has anyone else had people in there life not understand intuitive eat and

would rather them to stay on a diet, if so what did you do to get them to

understand?

>

> Take care

> Fay

>

October 7, 2011

I agree with Josie that talking to most people about IE just brings up upsetting

comments. I am very grateful that my husband is very supportive, having watched

me try one thing after another. He's been impressed enough with my IE

experience that he began incorporating the techniques and has lost 20 of his 30

extra pounds in a couple of months (meanwhile, in almost 3 months, my loss range

is 6-12 pounds and hasn't exactly been linear like his). Interestingly, when he

mentions it to people, he just says it's due to " the new healthy way Jane and I

have been eating lately " and leaves it at that. The truth is that most people

are not really interested in how other people eat, so there is no need to

discuss it. I am so sick of being stuck listening to a group of women doing

diet-talk. So now I try to avoid it. If I lose enough that anyone asks me what

I've been doing to lose weight, I'll probably tell them, but I won't go out of

my way to share it pro-actively. Early on I did and got really negative

reactions which upset me. Yes, the freedom is wonderful, but I don't have to

try to save the world. In all likelihood, the effort would just derail my own

progress for a while due to discouraging comments.

Jane

>

> I have had friends with similar reactions and so my response has been to stop

talking about IE to anyone. How I eat is my business, not theirs. But I

recognize this is a much harder proposition with a spouse.

> >

> > Has anyone else had people in there life not understand intuitive eat and

would rather them to stay on a diet, if so what did you do to get them to

understand?

> >

> > Take care

> > Fay

> >

>

October 7, 2011