Re: What conclusion would you draw?

[Guest guest]

OK, I had a dream that my father was giving everyone medals for scholarship

in the field which I specialized: Napoleon. Everyone but me. So I went to

him. He told me that the medals were wonderful. I wanted one. He hesitated

and put me off but he clearly wanted everyone recognized but me. So I

basically flipped out in the dream but my father kept quietly resisting my

plea. I woke up like I had been yelling and the powerful feeling was: " he

was showing me he didn't love me " .

So now when someone powerfully shows me or anyone that they don't love I

call it the " Napoleon Medal " . So your father won't pick up the gift to

powerfully show he doesn't care while he pussyfoots and half way denies it.

So, if I were you, I would take this as my exit. My exit was when he didn't

care if I died in 9/11. That was enough contempt for one lifetime.

>

>

> I sent a parcel to my father (NPD father, BPD stepmother, he went from a

> waif BPD-my mother- to queen bitch BPD stepmonster) and its been held at the

> post office since the 20th.

>

> I e-mailed him to let him know last week that it was at the post office.

>

> I never received a phone call on Christmas day, which is unusual for him.

> He knows that I won't call them because I'm on his wifes shit list.

>

> On boxing day I sent him an e-mail thanking him for the gifts, saying that

> the kids would have liked to thank him for their gifts as well and I

> supposed that he was out of town and didn't want to ring up the phone bill.

>

> He e-mailed on Monday, responding to the first e-mail, saying that he

> hadn't picked it up and would that day.

>

> He still hasn't picked it up. I have a tracking number that tells me where

> it is.

>

> Here, parcels are only kept for 10 business days and then are returned. I'm

> taking bets on his forgetting the parcel altogether and it being sent back.

> My mother did the same thing 4 years ago, when she didn't like my boundaries

> and sent everything back that I sent her for christmas. I was heartbroken.

> He knows the story and I wonder if he's planning on doing the same. On

> purpose.

>

> I've been hanging onto a relationship with my father for a long time. I

> haven't gone NC (currently LC) with him because I think part of me can't

> stand the thought that I will be loosing both parents. But to be honest, he

> has never been a parent to me anyway. He abandonded me twice to my mothers

> crazy assed ways, and has always chosen his wife over everyone else. I don't

> know why I cling.

>

> I have so much hatred for the woman that I sincerely hope he outlives her

> and realizes the damage that she has done to his life. Although it would

> just be nice if she up and died from one of her million ailments. He will

> end up all alone, and have no one but himself to blame.

>

> So, my one aunt (not his sister) thinks that I'm jumping to conclusions.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is a great analogy Millicent, thank you for sharing.

I know what you say is true, he's been really showing me this my entire life but

I've been like a little puppy, grasping onto every little scrap of affection

from him, hoping that maybe he'd just love me like a normal human being.

As an adult, I see my own husband with my girls, and think of the things that my

father did to me, and I just *know* that my husband wouldn't do that to my

girls. I mean my father never physically abused me, but witholding love and

affection, while dangling little bits here and there to a starving girl, that

could be considered abuse I suppose. Abandoning me to my mother and her illness.

I mean, she tried to kill him before he left, and then she tried to kill me 7

years later in the same way, but he didn't beleive me! *facepalm*

I think the worst is that he does everything passive agressively. He didn't

invite me to his wedding. He didn't tell me when his father died. He's let me

down more often than hes actually been there as a father for me.

I just wish I could get past the hurt and stop aching for it to change.

>

> >

> >

> > I sent a parcel to my father (NPD father, BPD stepmother, he went from a

> > waif BPD-my mother- to queen bitch BPD stepmonster) and its been held at the

> > post office since the 20th.

> >

> > I e-mailed him to let him know last week that it was at the post office.

> >

> > I never received a phone call on Christmas day, which is unusual for him.

> > He knows that I won't call them because I'm on his wifes shit list.

> >

> > On boxing day I sent him an e-mail thanking him for the gifts, saying that

> > the kids would have liked to thank him for their gifts as well and I

> > supposed that he was out of town and didn't want to ring up the phone bill.

> >

> > He e-mailed on Monday, responding to the first e-mail, saying that he

> > hadn't picked it up and would that day.

> >

> > He still hasn't picked it up. I have a tracking number that tells me where

> > it is.

> >

> > Here, parcels are only kept for 10 business days and then are returned. I'm

> > taking bets on his forgetting the parcel altogether and it being sent back.

> > My mother did the same thing 4 years ago, when she didn't like my boundaries

> > and sent everything back that I sent her for christmas. I was heartbroken.

> > He knows the story and I wonder if he's planning on doing the same. On

> > purpose.

> >

> > I've been hanging onto a relationship with my father for a long time. I

> > haven't gone NC (currently LC) with him because I think part of me can't

> > stand the thought that I will be loosing both parents. But to be honest, he

> > has never been a parent to me anyway. He abandonded me twice to my mothers

> > crazy assed ways, and has always chosen his wife over everyone else. I don't

> > know why I cling.

> >

> > I have so much hatred for the woman that I sincerely hope he outlives her

> > and realizes the damage that she has done to his life. Although it would

> > just be nice if she up and died from one of her million ailments. He will

> > end up all alone, and have no one but himself to blame.

> >

> > So, my one aunt (not his sister) thinks that I'm jumping to conclusions.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is a great analogy Millicent, thank you for sharing.

I know what you say is true, he's been really showing me this my entire life but

I've been like a little puppy, grasping onto every little scrap of affection

from him, hoping that maybe he'd just love me like a normal human being.

As an adult, I see my own husband with my girls, and think of the things that my

father did to me, and I just *know* that my husband wouldn't do that to my

girls. I mean my father never physically abused me, but witholding love and

affection, while dangling little bits here and there to a starving girl, that

could be considered abuse I suppose. Abandoning me to my mother and her illness.

I mean, she tried to kill him before he left, and then she tried to kill me 7

years later in the same way, but he didn't beleive me! *facepalm*

I think the worst is that he does everything passive agressively. He didn't

invite me to his wedding. He didn't tell me when his father died. He's let me

down more often than hes actually been there as a father for me.

I just wish I could get past the hurt and stop aching for it to change.

>

> >

> >

> > I sent a parcel to my father (NPD father, BPD stepmother, he went from a

> > waif BPD-my mother- to queen bitch BPD stepmonster) and its been held at the

> > post office since the 20th.

> >

> > I e-mailed him to let him know last week that it was at the post office.

> >

> > I never received a phone call on Christmas day, which is unusual for him.

> > He knows that I won't call them because I'm on his wifes shit list.

> >

> > On boxing day I sent him an e-mail thanking him for the gifts, saying that

> > the kids would have liked to thank him for their gifts as well and I

> > supposed that he was out of town and didn't want to ring up the phone bill.

> >

> > He e-mailed on Monday, responding to the first e-mail, saying that he

> > hadn't picked it up and would that day.

> >

> > He still hasn't picked it up. I have a tracking number that tells me where

> > it is.

> >

> > Here, parcels are only kept for 10 business days and then are returned. I'm

> > taking bets on his forgetting the parcel altogether and it being sent back.

> > My mother did the same thing 4 years ago, when she didn't like my boundaries

> > and sent everything back that I sent her for christmas. I was heartbroken.

> > He knows the story and I wonder if he's planning on doing the same. On

> > purpose.

> >

> > I've been hanging onto a relationship with my father for a long time. I

> > haven't gone NC (currently LC) with him because I think part of me can't

> > stand the thought that I will be loosing both parents. But to be honest, he

> > has never been a parent to me anyway. He abandonded me twice to my mothers

> > crazy assed ways, and has always chosen his wife over everyone else. I don't

> > know why I cling.

> >

> > I have so much hatred for the woman that I sincerely hope he outlives her

> > and realizes the damage that she has done to his life. Although it would

> > just be nice if she up and died from one of her million ailments. He will

> > end up all alone, and have no one but himself to blame.

> >

> > So, my one aunt (not his sister) thinks that I'm jumping to conclusions.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is a great analogy Millicent, thank you for sharing.

I know what you say is true, he's been really showing me this my entire life but

I've been like a little puppy, grasping onto every little scrap of affection

from him, hoping that maybe he'd just love me like a normal human being.

As an adult, I see my own husband with my girls, and think of the things that my

father did to me, and I just *know* that my husband wouldn't do that to my

girls. I mean my father never physically abused me, but witholding love and

affection, while dangling little bits here and there to a starving girl, that

could be considered abuse I suppose. Abandoning me to my mother and her illness.

I mean, she tried to kill him before he left, and then she tried to kill me 7

years later in the same way, but he didn't beleive me! *facepalm*

I think the worst is that he does everything passive agressively. He didn't

invite me to his wedding. He didn't tell me when his father died. He's let me

down more often than hes actually been there as a father for me.

I just wish I could get past the hurt and stop aching for it to change.

>

> >

> >

> > I sent a parcel to my father (NPD father, BPD stepmother, he went from a

> > waif BPD-my mother- to queen bitch BPD stepmonster) and its been held at the

> > post office since the 20th.

> >

> > I e-mailed him to let him know last week that it was at the post office.

> >

> > I never received a phone call on Christmas day, which is unusual for him.

> > He knows that I won't call them because I'm on his wifes shit list.

> >

> > On boxing day I sent him an e-mail thanking him for the gifts, saying that

> > the kids would have liked to thank him for their gifts as well and I

> > supposed that he was out of town and didn't want to ring up the phone bill.

> >

> > He e-mailed on Monday, responding to the first e-mail, saying that he

> > hadn't picked it up and would that day.

> >

> > He still hasn't picked it up. I have a tracking number that tells me where

> > it is.

> >

> > Here, parcels are only kept for 10 business days and then are returned. I'm

> > taking bets on his forgetting the parcel altogether and it being sent back.

> > My mother did the same thing 4 years ago, when she didn't like my boundaries

> > and sent everything back that I sent her for christmas. I was heartbroken.

> > He knows the story and I wonder if he's planning on doing the same. On

> > purpose.

> >

> > I've been hanging onto a relationship with my father for a long time. I

> > haven't gone NC (currently LC) with him because I think part of me can't

> > stand the thought that I will be loosing both parents. But to be honest, he

> > has never been a parent to me anyway. He abandonded me twice to my mothers

> > crazy assed ways, and has always chosen his wife over everyone else. I don't

> > know why I cling.

> >

> > I have so much hatred for the woman that I sincerely hope he outlives her

> > and realizes the damage that she has done to his life. Although it would

> > just be nice if she up and died from one of her million ailments. He will

> > end up all alone, and have no one but himself to blame.

> >

> > So, my one aunt (not his sister) thinks that I'm jumping to conclusions.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My father didn't invite me to his wedding either. You and I have similar

fathers. I'm happier since I have given up trying to get his love. I have

never met someone with a similar father so I am curious about yours I must

admit.

>

>

> That is a great analogy Millicent, thank you for sharing.

>

> I know what you say is true, he's been really showing me this my entire

> life but I've been like a little puppy, grasping onto every little scrap of

> affection from him, hoping that maybe he'd just love me like a normal human

> being.

>

> As an adult, I see my own husband with my girls, and think of the things

> that my father did to me, and I just *know* that my husband wouldn't do that

> to my girls. I mean my father never physically abused me, but witholding

> love and affection, while dangling little bits here and there to a starving

> girl, that could be considered abuse I suppose. Abandoning me to my mother

> and her illness. I mean, she tried to kill him before he left, and then she

> tried to kill me 7 years later in the same way, but he didn't beleive me!

> *facepalm*

>

> I think the worst is that he does everything passive agressively. He didn't

> invite me to his wedding. He didn't tell me when his father died. He's let

> me down more often than hes actually been there as a father for me.

>

> I just wish I could get past the hurt and stop aching for it to change.

>

>

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > I sent a parcel to my father (NPD father, BPD stepmother, he went from

> a

> > > waif BPD-my mother- to queen bitch BPD stepmonster) and its been held

> at the

> > > post office since the 20th.

> > >

> > > I e-mailed him to let him know last week that it was at the post

> office.

> > >

> > > I never received a phone call on Christmas day, which is unusual for

> him.

> > > He knows that I won't call them because I'm on his wifes shit list.

> > >

> > > On boxing day I sent him an e-mail thanking him for the gifts, saying

> that

> > > the kids would have liked to thank him for their gifts as well and I

> > > supposed that he was out of town and didn't want to ring up the phone

> bill.

> > >

> > > He e-mailed on Monday, responding to the first e-mail, saying that he

> > > hadn't picked it up and would that day.

> > >

> > > He still hasn't picked it up. I have a tracking number that tells me

> where

> > > it is.

> > >

> > > Here, parcels are only kept for 10 business days and then are returned.

> I'm

> > > taking bets on his forgetting the parcel altogether and it being sent

> back.

> > > My mother did the same thing 4 years ago, when she didn't like my

> boundaries

> > > and sent everything back that I sent her for christmas. I was

> heartbroken.

> > > He knows the story and I wonder if he's planning on doing the same. On

> > > purpose.

> > >

> > > I've been hanging onto a relationship with my father for a long time. I

> > > haven't gone NC (currently LC) with him because I think part of me

> can't

> > > stand the thought that I will be loosing both parents. But to be

> honest, he

> > > has never been a parent to me anyway. He abandonded me twice to my

> mothers

> > > crazy assed ways, and has always chosen his wife over everyone else. I

> don't

> > > know why I cling.

> > >

> > > I have so much hatred for the woman that I sincerely hope he outlives

> her

> > > and realizes the damage that she has done to his life. Although it

> would

> > > just be nice if she up and died from one of her million ailments. He

> will

> > > end up all alone, and have no one but himself to blame.

> > >

> > > So, my one aunt (not his sister) thinks that I'm jumping to

> conclusions.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

My father didn't invite me to his wedding either. You and I have similar

fathers. I'm happier since I have given up trying to get his love. I have

never met someone with a similar father so I am curious about yours I must

admit.

>

>

> That is a great analogy Millicent, thank you for sharing.

>

> I know what you say is true, he's been really showing me this my entire

> life but I've been like a little puppy, grasping onto every little scrap of

> affection from him, hoping that maybe he'd just love me like a normal human

> being.

>

> As an adult, I see my own husband with my girls, and think of the things

> that my father did to me, and I just *know* that my husband wouldn't do that

> to my girls. I mean my father never physically abused me, but witholding

> love and affection, while dangling little bits here and there to a starving

> girl, that could be considered abuse I suppose. Abandoning me to my mother

> and her illness. I mean, she tried to kill him before he left, and then she

> tried to kill me 7 years later in the same way, but he didn't beleive me!

> *facepalm*

>

> I think the worst is that he does everything passive agressively. He didn't

> invite me to his wedding. He didn't tell me when his father died. He's let

> me down more often than hes actually been there as a father for me.

>

> I just wish I could get past the hurt and stop aching for it to change.

>

>

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > I sent a parcel to my father (NPD father, BPD stepmother, he went from

> a

> > > waif BPD-my mother- to queen bitch BPD stepmonster) and its been held

> at the

> > > post office since the 20th.

> > >

> > > I e-mailed him to let him know last week that it was at the post

> office.

> > >

> > > I never received a phone call on Christmas day, which is unusual for

> him.

> > > He knows that I won't call them because I'm on his wifes shit list.

> > >

> > > On boxing day I sent him an e-mail thanking him for the gifts, saying

> that

> > > the kids would have liked to thank him for their gifts as well and I

> > > supposed that he was out of town and didn't want to ring up the phone

> bill.

> > >

> > > He e-mailed on Monday, responding to the first e-mail, saying that he

> > > hadn't picked it up and would that day.

> > >

> > > He still hasn't picked it up. I have a tracking number that tells me

> where

> > > it is.

> > >

> > > Here, parcels are only kept for 10 business days and then are returned.

> I'm

> > > taking bets on his forgetting the parcel altogether and it being sent

> back.

> > > My mother did the same thing 4 years ago, when she didn't like my

> boundaries

> > > and sent everything back that I sent her for christmas. I was

> heartbroken.

> > > He knows the story and I wonder if he's planning on doing the same. On

> > > purpose.

> > >

> > > I've been hanging onto a relationship with my father for a long time. I

> > > haven't gone NC (currently LC) with him because I think part of me

> can't

> > > stand the thought that I will be loosing both parents. But to be

> honest, he

> > > has never been a parent to me anyway. He abandonded me twice to my

> mothers

> > > crazy assed ways, and has always chosen his wife over everyone else. I

> don't

> > > know why I cling.

> > >

> > > I have so much hatred for the woman that I sincerely hope he outlives

> her

> > > and realizes the damage that she has done to his life. Although it

> would

> > > just be nice if she up and died from one of her million ailments. He

> will

> > > end up all alone, and have no one but himself to blame.

> > >

> > > So, my one aunt (not his sister) thinks that I'm jumping to

> conclusions.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

My father didn't invite me to his wedding either. You and I have similar

fathers. I'm happier since I have given up trying to get his love. I have

never met someone with a similar father so I am curious about yours I must

admit.

>

>

> That is a great analogy Millicent, thank you for sharing.

>

> I know what you say is true, he's been really showing me this my entire

> life but I've been like a little puppy, grasping onto every little scrap of

> affection from him, hoping that maybe he'd just love me like a normal human

> being.

>

> As an adult, I see my own husband with my girls, and think of the things

> that my father did to me, and I just *know* that my husband wouldn't do that

> to my girls. I mean my father never physically abused me, but witholding

> love and affection, while dangling little bits here and there to a starving

> girl, that could be considered abuse I suppose. Abandoning me to my mother

> and her illness. I mean, she tried to kill him before he left, and then she

> tried to kill me 7 years later in the same way, but he didn't beleive me!

> *facepalm*

>

> I think the worst is that he does everything passive agressively. He didn't

> invite me to his wedding. He didn't tell me when his father died. He's let

> me down more often than hes actually been there as a father for me.

>

> I just wish I could get past the hurt and stop aching for it to change.

>

>

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > I sent a parcel to my father (NPD father, BPD stepmother, he went from

> a

> > > waif BPD-my mother- to queen bitch BPD stepmonster) and its been held

> at the

> > > post office since the 20th.

> > >

> > > I e-mailed him to let him know last week that it was at the post

> office.

> > >

> > > I never received a phone call on Christmas day, which is unusual for

> him.

> > > He knows that I won't call them because I'm on his wifes shit list.

> > >

> > > On boxing day I sent him an e-mail thanking him for the gifts, saying

> that

> > > the kids would have liked to thank him for their gifts as well and I

> > > supposed that he was out of town and didn't want to ring up the phone

> bill.

> > >

> > > He e-mailed on Monday, responding to the first e-mail, saying that he

> > > hadn't picked it up and would that day.

> > >

> > > He still hasn't picked it up. I have a tracking number that tells me

> where

> > > it is.

> > >

> > > Here, parcels are only kept for 10 business days and then are returned.

> I'm

> > > taking bets on his forgetting the parcel altogether and it being sent

> back.

> > > My mother did the same thing 4 years ago, when she didn't like my

> boundaries

> > > and sent everything back that I sent her for christmas. I was

> heartbroken.

> > > He knows the story and I wonder if he's planning on doing the same. On

> > > purpose.

> > >

> > > I've been hanging onto a relationship with my father for a long time. I

> > > haven't gone NC (currently LC) with him because I think part of me

> can't

> > > stand the thought that I will be loosing both parents. But to be

> honest, he

> > > has never been a parent to me anyway. He abandonded me twice to my

> mothers

> > > crazy assed ways, and has always chosen his wife over everyone else. I

> don't

> > > know why I cling.

> > >

> > > I have so much hatred for the woman that I sincerely hope he outlives

> her

> > > and realizes the damage that she has done to his life. Although it

> would

> > > just be nice if she up and died from one of her million ailments. He

> will

> > > end up all alone, and have no one but himself to blame.

> > >

> > > So, my one aunt (not his sister) thinks that I'm jumping to

> conclusions.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

He is a bit of a mystery to me honestly.

His mother, I beleive was BPD. Then he met my mother, who, when stressed out

dips into schitzophrenia (paranoid delusions and the like). He went from woman

to woman until he met this new Stepmonster who is textbook BPD.

She controls him. She would happily say that it was because of her that he and I

even have a relationship and she's right. She held that over my head for years.

When my mother tried to kill me when I was 11/12, I begged him to take me in and

he did. He had just moved in with this woman that he had only known for about 8

months. I was a problem child though (ya think?) and her sons (three of them)

would break shit and it would end up in my room. She would fake strokes, fake

illness, claim that I was causing all this stress and tourmoil in the house and

that I needed to go. He kicked me out, then my mother wouldn't take me back in.

He never called to make sure I was ok, he just thought she took me back into the

house. I was on my own for a good 6 months, I'm not sure because I literally

have NO idea what happened during that time.

He got married sometime in the next year, and shortly thereafter my grandfather

died. He told me christmas day that " oh by the way, I got married " . When I asked

how my grandfather was, I was told he was " 6 feet under " . Nice eh?

We lived out west for 13 years and he visited exactly 4 times. One out of the

blue, when my eldest was born, when I graduated university (to which he said he

would shit his pants if that ever happened), and once when my youngest was born.

I almost died with my youngest, and he didn't give a crap, wasn't concerned at

all. I had major surgery and he didn't seem to care either (it was major

abdominal surgery where I was in the ICU for several days after).

Last year, dad had suggested that he and his witchwife would come out to visit

for christmas (my husband was deployed over christmas). She did not want to

come. It's a long story, but she was caught in some lies. I didn't call her on

it, but I let her know she was caught. A few months before she " developed "

breast cancer. She's been dying since I met her. I figured it was a ploy. They

said that things were up in the air, and if I needed to make other arrangements,

to go ahead. I told them that he needed to say " yes " or " no " to them coming,

that it was HIS decision to make.

I was supportive of her illness, I talked to her on the phone, I e-mailed. But I

also asked if they were coming. Apparently I " nagged " and was " unsuppportive in

her time of need " . She sent me an e-mail telling me that she needed my father

more than I did that that time, and that she didn't get cancer to ruin my

christmas *eyeroll*. I told her she was being ludicris, that all I wanted was a

yes or no, that most people when faced with life or death illness may in fact

want to be surrounded by family in times of crisis.

Anyway, she returned all the christmas presents we sent the following month,

along with a 3 page letter detailing the hell she has been through (drama mama)

and the third page detailing what a horrible unsupportive person I was. I didn't

respond to the letter, nor will I ever.

So, again, he sides with her. She has pushed his sisters and the rest of his

family out of his life. And now she is pushing me out of his life.

The way that I look at it, is that he is reaping what he is sowing.

> > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > I sent a parcel to my father (NPD father, BPD stepmother, he went from

> > a

> > > > waif BPD-my mother- to queen bitch BPD stepmonster) and its been held

> > at the

> > > > post office since the 20th.

> > > >

> > > > I e-mailed him to let him know last week that it was at the post

> > office.

> > > >

> > > > I never received a phone call on Christmas day, which is unusual for

> > him.

> > > > He knows that I won't call them because I'm on his wifes shit list.

> > > >

> > > > On boxing day I sent him an e-mail thanking him for the gifts, saying

> > that

> > > > the kids would have liked to thank him for their gifts as well and I

> > > > supposed that he was out of town and didn't want to ring up the phone

> > bill.

> > > >

> > > > He e-mailed on Monday, responding to the first e-mail, saying that he

> > > > hadn't picked it up and would that day.

> > > >

> > > > He still hasn't picked it up. I have a tracking number that tells me

> > where

> > > > it is.

> > > >

> > > > Here, parcels are only kept for 10 business days and then are returned.

> > I'm

> > > > taking bets on his forgetting the parcel altogether and it being sent

> > back.

> > > > My mother did the same thing 4 years ago, when she didn't like my

> > boundaries

> > > > and sent everything back that I sent her for christmas. I was

> > heartbroken.

> > > > He knows the story and I wonder if he's planning on doing the same. On

> > > > purpose.

> > > >

> > > > I've been hanging onto a relationship with my father for a long time. I

> > > > haven't gone NC (currently LC) with him because I think part of me

> > can't

> > > > stand the thought that I will be loosing both parents. But to be

> > honest, he

> > > > has never been a parent to me anyway. He abandonded me twice to my

> > mothers

> > > > crazy assed ways, and has always chosen his wife over everyone else. I

> > don't

> > > > know why I cling.

> > > >

> > > > I have so much hatred for the woman that I sincerely hope he outlives

> > her

> > > > and realizes the damage that she has done to his life. Although it

> > would

> > > > just be nice if she up and died from one of her million ailments. He

> > will

> > > > end up all alone, and have no one but himself to blame.

> > > >

> > > > So, my one aunt (not his sister) thinks that I'm jumping to

> > conclusions.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Our fathers do have similar personalities. I also had a horrible woman in

the house during my teens years who wanted me out. My father found devil

women so he could feel sane in comparison. While he deals with the daily

drama he gets to feel like he's all right and he doesn't have to deal with

his own issues. He's also a bit of a hoarder, obsessed with money, liked me

to fight with his woman, sneaky, creepy. He always sided with the person

abusing me except when he was trying to punish the woman. He wanted everyone

to know his contempt.

His last wife was very homemakery and she wanted to pretend to make happy

family while she attacked me. Then my father would tell me that I failed her

in some way to get us fighting. He'd tell her I was great and he'd tell me

she was great while showing as much contempt as possible.

Basically if the relationship isn't somewhat 50/50 we'll never win.

>

>

> He is a bit of a mystery to me honestly.

>

> His mother, I beleive was BPD. Then he met my mother, who, when stressed

> out dips into schitzophrenia (paranoid delusions and the like). He went from

> woman to woman until he met this new Stepmonster who is textbook BPD.

>

> She controls him. She would happily say that it was because of her that he

> and I even have a relationship and she's right. She held that over my head

> for years.

>

> When my mother tried to kill me when I was 11/12, I begged him to take me

> in and he did. He had just moved in with this woman that he had only known

> for about 8 months. I was a problem child though (ya think?) and her sons

> (three of them) would break shit and it would end up in my room. She would

> fake strokes, fake illness, claim that I was causing all this stress and

> tourmoil in the house and that I needed to go. He kicked me out, then my

> mother wouldn't take me back in. He never called to make sure I was ok, he

> just thought she took me back into the house. I was on my own for a good 6

> months, I'm not sure because I literally have NO idea what happened during

> that time.

>

> He got married sometime in the next year, and shortly thereafter my

> grandfather died. He told me christmas day that " oh by the way, I got

> married " . When I asked how my grandfather was, I was told he was " 6 feet

> under " . Nice eh?

>

> We lived out west for 13 years and he visited exactly 4 times. One out of

> the blue, when my eldest was born, when I graduated university (to which he

> said he would shit his pants if that ever happened), and once when my

> youngest was born. I almost died with my youngest, and he didn't give a

> crap, wasn't concerned at all. I had major surgery and he didn't seem to

> care either (it was major abdominal surgery where I was in the ICU for

> several days after).

>

> Last year, dad had suggested that he and his witchwife would come out to

> visit for christmas (my husband was deployed over christmas). She did not

> want to come. It's a long story, but she was caught in some lies. I didn't

> call her on it, but I let her know she was caught. A few months before she

> " developed " breast cancer. She's been dying since I met her. I figured it

> was a ploy. They said that things were up in the air, and if I needed to

> make other arrangements, to go ahead. I told them that he needed to say

> " yes " or " no " to them coming, that it was HIS decision to make.

>

> I was supportive of her illness, I talked to her on the phone, I e-mailed.

> But I also asked if they were coming. Apparently I " nagged " and was

> " unsuppportive in her time of need " . She sent me an e-mail telling me that

> she needed my father more than I did that that time, and that she didn't get

> cancer to ruin my christmas *eyeroll*. I told her she was being ludicris,

> that all I wanted was a yes or no, that most people when faced with life or

> death illness may in fact want to be surrounded by family in times of

> crisis.

>

> Anyway, she returned all the christmas presents we sent the following

> month, along with a 3 page letter detailing the hell she has been through

> (drama mama) and the third page detailing what a horrible unsupportive

> person I was. I didn't respond to the letter, nor will I ever.

>

> So, again, he sides with her. She has pushed his sisters and the rest of

> his family out of his life. And now she is pushing me out of his life.

>

> The way that I look at it, is that he is reaping what he is sowing.

>

>

> > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > I sent a parcel to my father (NPD father, BPD stepmother, he went

> from

> > > a

> > > > > waif BPD-my mother- to queen bitch BPD stepmonster) and its been

> held

> > > at the

> > > > > post office since the 20th.

> > > > >

> > > > > I e-mailed him to let him know last week that it was at the post

> > > office.

> > > > >

> > > > > I never received a phone call on Christmas day, which is unusual

> for

> > > him.

> > > > > He knows that I won't call them because I'm on his wifes shit list.

> > > > >

> > > > > On boxing day I sent him an e-mail thanking him for the gifts,

> saying

> > > that

> > > > > the kids would have liked to thank him for their gifts as well and

> I

> > > > > supposed that he was out of town and didn't want to ring up the

> phone

> > > bill.

> > > > >

> > > > > He e-mailed on Monday, responding to the first e-mail, saying that

> he

> > > > > hadn't picked it up and would that day.

> > > > >

> > > > > He still hasn't picked it up. I have a tracking number that tells

> me

> > > where

> > > > > it is.

> > > > >

> > > > > Here, parcels are only kept for 10 business days and then are

> returned.

> > > I'm

> > > > > taking bets on his forgetting the parcel altogether and it being

> sent

> > > back.

> > > > > My mother did the same thing 4 years ago, when she didn't like my

> > > boundaries

> > > > > and sent everything back that I sent her for christmas. I was

> > > heartbroken.

> > > > > He knows the story and I wonder if he's planning on doing the same.

> On

> > > > > purpose.

> > > > >

> > > > > I've been hanging onto a relationship with my father for a long

> time. I

> > > > > haven't gone NC (currently LC) with him because I think part of me

> > > can't

> > > > > stand the thought that I will be loosing both parents. But to be

> > > honest, he

> > > > > has never been a parent to me anyway. He abandonded me twice to my

> > > mothers

> > > > > crazy assed ways, and has always chosen his wife over everyone

> else. I

> > > don't

> > > > > know why I cling.

> > > > >

> > > > > I have so much hatred for the woman that I sincerely hope he

> outlives

> > > her

> > > > > and realizes the damage that she has done to his life. Although it

> > > would

> > > > > just be nice if she up and died from one of her million ailments.

> He

> > > will

> > > > > end up all alone, and have no one but himself to blame.

> > > > >

> > > > > So, my one aunt (not his sister) thinks that I'm jumping to

> > > conclusions.

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Our fathers do have similar personalities. I also had a horrible woman in

the house during my teens years who wanted me out. My father found devil

women so he could feel sane in comparison. While he deals with the daily

drama he gets to feel like he's all right and he doesn't have to deal with

his own issues. He's also a bit of a hoarder, obsessed with money, liked me

to fight with his woman, sneaky, creepy. He always sided with the person

abusing me except when he was trying to punish the woman. He wanted everyone

to know his contempt.

His last wife was very homemakery and she wanted to pretend to make happy

family while she attacked me. Then my father would tell me that I failed her

in some way to get us fighting. He'd tell her I was great and he'd tell me

she was great while showing as much contempt as possible.

Basically if the relationship isn't somewhat 50/50 we'll never win.

>

>

> He is a bit of a mystery to me honestly.

>

> His mother, I beleive was BPD. Then he met my mother, who, when stressed

> out dips into schitzophrenia (paranoid delusions and the like). He went from

> woman to woman until he met this new Stepmonster who is textbook BPD.

>

> She controls him. She would happily say that it was because of her that he

> and I even have a relationship and she's right. She held that over my head

> for years.

>

> When my mother tried to kill me when I was 11/12, I begged him to take me

> in and he did. He had just moved in with this woman that he had only known

> for about 8 months. I was a problem child though (ya think?) and her sons

> (three of them) would break shit and it would end up in my room. She would

> fake strokes, fake illness, claim that I was causing all this stress and

> tourmoil in the house and that I needed to go. He kicked me out, then my

> mother wouldn't take me back in. He never called to make sure I was ok, he

> just thought she took me back into the house. I was on my own for a good 6

> months, I'm not sure because I literally have NO idea what happened during

> that time.

>

> He got married sometime in the next year, and shortly thereafter my

> grandfather died. He told me christmas day that " oh by the way, I got

> married " . When I asked how my grandfather was, I was told he was " 6 feet

> under " . Nice eh?

>

> We lived out west for 13 years and he visited exactly 4 times. One out of

> the blue, when my eldest was born, when I graduated university (to which he

> said he would shit his pants if that ever happened), and once when my

> youngest was born. I almost died with my youngest, and he didn't give a

> crap, wasn't concerned at all. I had major surgery and he didn't seem to

> care either (it was major abdominal surgery where I was in the ICU for

> several days after).

>

> Last year, dad had suggested that he and his witchwife would come out to

> visit for christmas (my husband was deployed over christmas). She did not

> want to come. It's a long story, but she was caught in some lies. I didn't

> call her on it, but I let her know she was caught. A few months before she

> " developed " breast cancer. She's been dying since I met her. I figured it

> was a ploy. They said that things were up in the air, and if I needed to

> make other arrangements, to go ahead. I told them that he needed to say

> " yes " or " no " to them coming, that it was HIS decision to make.

>

> I was supportive of her illness, I talked to her on the phone, I e-mailed.

> But I also asked if they were coming. Apparently I " nagged " and was

> " unsuppportive in her time of need " . She sent me an e-mail telling me that

> she needed my father more than I did that that time, and that she didn't get

> cancer to ruin my christmas *eyeroll*. I told her she was being ludicris,

> that all I wanted was a yes or no, that most people when faced with life or

> death illness may in fact want to be surrounded by family in times of

> crisis.

>

> Anyway, she returned all the christmas presents we sent the following

> month, along with a 3 page letter detailing the hell she has been through

> (drama mama) and the third page detailing what a horrible unsupportive

> person I was. I didn't respond to the letter, nor will I ever.

>

> So, again, he sides with her. She has pushed his sisters and the rest of

> his family out of his life. And now she is pushing me out of his life.

>

> The way that I look at it, is that he is reaping what he is sowing.

>

>

> > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > I sent a parcel to my father (NPD father, BPD stepmother, he went

> from

> > > a

> > > > > waif BPD-my mother- to queen bitch BPD stepmonster) and its been

> held

> > > at the

> > > > > post office since the 20th.

> > > > >

> > > > > I e-mailed him to let him know last week that it was at the post

> > > office.

> > > > >

> > > > > I never received a phone call on Christmas day, which is unusual

> for

> > > him.

> > > > > He knows that I won't call them because I'm on his wifes shit list.

> > > > >

> > > > > On boxing day I sent him an e-mail thanking him for the gifts,

> saying

> > > that

> > > > > the kids would have liked to thank him for their gifts as well and

> I

> > > > > supposed that he was out of town and didn't want to ring up the

> phone

> > > bill.

> > > > >

> > > > > He e-mailed on Monday, responding to the first e-mail, saying that

> he

> > > > > hadn't picked it up and would that day.

> > > > >

> > > > > He still hasn't picked it up. I have a tracking number that tells

> me

> > > where

> > > > > it is.

> > > > >

> > > > > Here, parcels are only kept for 10 business days and then are

> returned.

> > > I'm

> > > > > taking bets on his forgetting the parcel altogether and it being

> sent

> > > back.

> > > > > My mother did the same thing 4 years ago, when she didn't like my

> > > boundaries

> > > > > and sent everything back that I sent her for christmas. I was

> > > heartbroken.

> > > > > He knows the story and I wonder if he's planning on doing the same.

> On

> > > > > purpose.

> > > > >

> > > > > I've been hanging onto a relationship with my father for a long

> time. I

> > > > > haven't gone NC (currently LC) with him because I think part of me

> > > can't

> > > > > stand the thought that I will be loosing both parents. But to be

> > > honest, he

> > > > > has never been a parent to me anyway. He abandonded me twice to my

> > > mothers

> > > > > crazy assed ways, and has always chosen his wife over everyone

> else. I

> > > don't

> > > > > know why I cling.

> > > > >

> > > > > I have so much hatred for the woman that I sincerely hope he

> outlives

> > > her

> > > > > and realizes the damage that she has done to his life. Although it

> > > would

> > > > > just be nice if she up and died from one of her million ailments.

> He

> > > will

> > > > > end up all alone, and have no one but himself to blame.

> > > > >

> > > > > So, my one aunt (not his sister) thinks that I'm jumping to

> > > conclusions.

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >