Guest guest Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 Karla...whatever you wrote...DITTO exactly. Protect that small corner of my heart...I never knew how bad my mom really was...I knew her actions were ridiculous and hurtful...but I didn't know how deep her problems were. I was blind-sided for so many years. And I agree...I would have told me I loved me and that I was a good kid who made amazing decisions for my own life. Amy Re: do-over I would carve out a piece of my heart and keep it far away from her. My nada was functional, and I gave her ALL of my heart ALL of the time. I would tell that small, protected place I loved me and I was good. Every day. What a good question! BLessings, Karla > > If we all had our lives to do over...what's the one thing you would have done differently in regards to your mom's BPD? > > My answer: I know my loyalty to her was supernatural, but if I could have made the break from her emotionally and physically, I would have left when I was 18 to prevent further brainwashing and a painful and confusing life. > > Amy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 Karla...whatever you wrote...DITTO exactly. Protect that small corner of my heart...I never knew how bad my mom really was...I knew her actions were ridiculous and hurtful...but I didn't know how deep her problems were. I was blind-sided for so many years. And I agree...I would have told me I loved me and that I was a good kid who made amazing decisions for my own life. Amy Re: do-over I would carve out a piece of my heart and keep it far away from her. My nada was functional, and I gave her ALL of my heart ALL of the time. I would tell that small, protected place I loved me and I was good. Every day. What a good question! BLessings, Karla > > If we all had our lives to do over...what's the one thing you would have done differently in regards to your mom's BPD? > > My answer: I know my loyalty to her was supernatural, but if I could have made the break from her emotionally and physically, I would have left when I was 18 to prevent further brainwashing and a painful and confusing life. > > Amy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 Karla...whatever you wrote...DITTO exactly. Protect that small corner of my heart...I never knew how bad my mom really was...I knew her actions were ridiculous and hurtful...but I didn't know how deep her problems were. I was blind-sided for so many years. And I agree...I would have told me I loved me and that I was a good kid who made amazing decisions for my own life. Amy Re: do-over I would carve out a piece of my heart and keep it far away from her. My nada was functional, and I gave her ALL of my heart ALL of the time. I would tell that small, protected place I loved me and I was good. Every day. What a good question! BLessings, Karla > > If we all had our lives to do over...what's the one thing you would have done differently in regards to your mom's BPD? > > My answer: I know my loyalty to her was supernatural, but if I could have made the break from her emotionally and physically, I would have left when I was 18 to prevent further brainwashing and a painful and confusing life. > > Amy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 15, 2010 Report Share Posted December 15, 2010 If I had done any ONE of the following, I think it would have saved me a lot of heartache in life: 1. I would have left her and gone to the top-ranked Ivy League university to which I had been accepted at age 16, instead of turning down that acceptance and going to a state school so I could stay close to her to help her take care of my ill stepfather. The irony of the situation - she turned around and left the state 3 months later, leaving me at a crappy university, all alone without any friends or family in that state and threatened to take my father to court if he dared to move to that state to be close to me. 2. If I couldn't have the #1 do-over, I would have at least transferred to a school in the state where my dad lived after she left me instead of being loyal to her and trying to prove my love to her, over and over and over again, every time she pulled out the " you take your father's side " and " you and your father are always against me " cards. 3. If I couldn't have the #1 or #2, I wish I could have at least had the confidence and courage much sooner to believe that there really WAS something wrong with her and that she had an illness. I wish I could have realized that even really bright, talented and financially successful people can be mentally ill at age 18 instead of age 28. I wish I could have gotten help so that I could have stopped questioning my own sanity every day and realized that the nightmare I was living was definitely NOT normal. 4. I wish I were not an only child, so that I wouldn't feel so much of the pressure and responsibility of maintaining a workable relationship with an aging mother who has BPD. Any one of these would have made my life better, and there are many other things too, but this is my list for now. Arianna > > If we all had our lives to do over...what's the one thing you would have done differently in regards to your mom's BPD? > > My answer: I know my loyalty to her was supernatural, but if I could have made the break from her emotionally and physically, I would have left when I was 18 to prevent further brainwashing and a painful and confusing life. > > Amy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 15, 2010 Report Share Posted December 15, 2010 If I had done any ONE of the following, I think it would have saved me a lot of heartache in life: 1. I would have left her and gone to the top-ranked Ivy League university to which I had been accepted at age 16, instead of turning down that acceptance and going to a state school so I could stay close to her to help her take care of my ill stepfather. The irony of the situation - she turned around and left the state 3 months later, leaving me at a crappy university, all alone without any friends or family in that state and threatened to take my father to court if he dared to move to that state to be close to me. 2. If I couldn't have the #1 do-over, I would have at least transferred to a school in the state where my dad lived after she left me instead of being loyal to her and trying to prove my love to her, over and over and over again, every time she pulled out the " you take your father's side " and " you and your father are always against me " cards. 3. If I couldn't have the #1 or #2, I wish I could have at least had the confidence and courage much sooner to believe that there really WAS something wrong with her and that she had an illness. I wish I could have realized that even really bright, talented and financially successful people can be mentally ill at age 18 instead of age 28. I wish I could have gotten help so that I could have stopped questioning my own sanity every day and realized that the nightmare I was living was definitely NOT normal. 4. I wish I were not an only child, so that I wouldn't feel so much of the pressure and responsibility of maintaining a workable relationship with an aging mother who has BPD. Any one of these would have made my life better, and there are many other things too, but this is my list for now. Arianna > > If we all had our lives to do over...what's the one thing you would have done differently in regards to your mom's BPD? > > My answer: I know my loyalty to her was supernatural, but if I could have made the break from her emotionally and physically, I would have left when I was 18 to prevent further brainwashing and a painful and confusing life. > > Amy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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