Re: Re: Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior / WSJ Article

[Guest guest]

I posted the rebuttal article on Facebook, and a friend linked me to another

article on the same topic, that I think people might appreciate. Apparently

she backed off when her daughter " rebelled " at the age of 13.

http://blogs.wsj.com/ideas-market/2011/01/13/the-tiger-mother-responds-to-reader\

s/

Holly

>

>

> I was happy to see the rebuttal reinforce my own qualms with that article.

> If a child equates the love of the parents and their own happiness with

> perfection and success, what happens when they make a mistake? I think the

> Amy Chau should see Black Swan and see how children who aren't allowed to

> develop any personal identity or character turn out. They become insane

> perfectionists and when they are faced with a failure or mistake (which they

> eventually are) they have no coping mechanisms.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes I heard about it. I find that form of parenting to be psycho. I don't

have kids but I teach them as a volunteer. In this situation I would give

the kids a break, let them do something they enjoy or send them outside to

run around and express some physical energy. Then we would try it again with

firm kindness. Wow. What a B-I-T-C-H. I've been through it too. I think my

dad (the enabler who did love me) was afraid that I might be as stupid as

nada said I was. So he drilled me with school work to the point of tears

every night in 3rd grade for spelling. He was unkind, yelling. I don't see

how that is a positive learning environment and I look back on it,

remembering sitting in my nightgown on the heat vent while he yelled- with

horror. I was actually a smart kid and a great student, esp after I grew up

a bit - nada held me back esp when I was younger but post puberty I did much

better - but my parents never trusted me to do my school work well or to

succeed. It's like the believed, despite any good grades or acheivements -

that deep down I was stupid. And if i was stupid it meant they were stupid.

Now I believe they were - if not stupid- emotionally retarded and mentally

ill. And I am smart and quite capable.

ha ha, I feel like the giant hand is going to come out of the sky and slap

my face every time I say or think something nice about myself. 2 more days

til my next therapy appt.

XOXO guys.

On Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 9:56 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> You guys can't hear me, but I'm sitting here cheering for that 13-year-old!

> You go, girl! Woo hoo!!

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > I was happy to see the rebuttal reinforce my own qualms with that

> article.

> > > If a child equates the love of the parents and their own happiness with

> > > perfection and success, what happens when they make a mistake? I think

> the

> > > Amy Chau should see Black Swan and see how children who aren't allowed

> to

> > > develop any personal identity or character turn out. They become insane

> > > perfectionists and when they are faced with a failure or mistake (which

> they

> > > eventually are) they have no coping mechanisms.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >