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regarding the Ethics question

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I think its the psychologist who has the ethical and legal constraint to avoid

discussing/sharing your mother's condition and treatment with you, but you can

ethically share your concerns with him/her, if the psychologist is open to it.

So its just a one-way sharing, from you; I don't see how that would violate your

mother's medical privacy.

Perhaps both you and your father could have a consultation with your mother's

psychologist together, to give the psychologist your history and share your

legitimate concerns at the same time. More information about family dynamics

can only help the psychologist give better therapy, seems to me.

In my own opinion, personality disorder ought to be treated within the context

of family therapy and family dynamics, in addition to the pd patient getting

individual treatment.

But that's just my opinion; I'm not positive that there is no ethical violation

in consulting your mother's psychologist. My own Sister's psychologist was also

my nada's (my mother's) psychologist, and he treated them separately and

together.

-Annie

> Hope,

>

> Hey, thanks! I'm so glad to be able to finally relate to others who have gone

through similar situations throughout their lives. My wedding was also a

nightmare. To this day nada is mad at me for not " honoring " her and step-dad

(putting them more in the spotlight). It would have been easier to elope, but

with BPDs it's always a no-win situation.

>

> I'm very lucky, too to have such a fantastic husband. We've been married 12

years and have 2 kids. He will not apologize for setting boundaries and calling

a spade a spade. I don't want him to, either. She needs to accept

responsibility for her actions (which may never happen.) She will be losing 4

people in her life, not just one when I go NC.

>

> A small ray of hope is that I think my step-dad realized the severity of her

recent violent comments. He thinks that the best way to help nada is if I

personally relay my concerns about nada to her therapist(alone). Is that

ethical?

>

> Thanks for your encouragement. I do feel stronger already by setting

boundaries that are healthy for my family and I. How did you approach nada

about going nc? That's what I'm trying to work through.

>

> Best,

> Grace

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