Revealed....finally

[Guest guest]

Hello, I'm new to this (any) group and wanted to get involved because

just recently I came to the understanding that my mother has BPD and am

looking for some guidance and of course support from specialists and

other " Nons " .

A major fall-out happened about 6 months ago where I tried to lay out

some clearly stated boundaries for my mother, as directed by my

counsellor, and it has pretty much cut-off all communication between her

& I and has caused serious relationship damage between my father and

myself. He seems to have changed over the past year or so and has

fervently taken her side, to the detriment of the relationship between

him and every other member of our family (immediate and extended). She

had already damaged those relationships over the years.

Last week I got an email from her (signed by both) which proposed that

all three of us: " look far into the past to remember good things about

each other. Then we can send an email with a positive statement twice a

week. That is, you send two to Dad, and two to me, and we each send two

to you. These positive statements will be the only thing in that

email......not combined with any news. Any news can be sent separately.

The positive statements will not be commented on nor challenged by any

of us. " They stated that they would like to try this and reevaluate it

after two months. She has intentionally kept my husband out of it, and a

major issue I have with her is how she has 'demonised' my husband.

I encourage the idea that my mother tries to focus on the " good " about

me, but without proper counselling and medication, I fear this is just

an empty exercise and that she is in denial-not focused on the real

issue at hand. This feels like " another dance, dressed up differently

and in a different location " . I fear she is going to ruminate on what

she had or liked about me in the past and cannot have now and will

spiral downwards, quickly.

Am I over-reacting? Should I trust this and play along?