Hello everybody - aspiring IE here!

[Guest guest]

Hello everybody! I'm new to IE and looking for a friendly community to share my

experiences and thoughts with I ended up here

I'll try to keep my story short for two main reasons: I don't know where to

start, and I myself have trouble in telling it - so many pieces I still can't

fit!

My name is , I'm from Italy and I'm 17 (almost 18) years old.

As a child I've always been overweight, reaching the maximum weight of 120kg

(265 lbs) two-three years ago. I had tried to eat better many times, but it

never worked.

Then, suddenly, at the beginning of the year 2010, I decided it was time to do

it for good, and I started studying nutrition and got serious about dieting.

Result: I " magically " lost all that fat, with a great deal of self-control and

willpower, getting down to about 70kg in autumn.

When I tried to " stop " dieting and maintain my weight, I failed. I have always

been a perfectionist, so I kept avoiding " forbidden foods " , becoming what the

book calls a " pseudo-dieter " . I ate more and more " good foods " , but I would

always be very careful and count calories, and I kept losing weight. I did

strength training throughout, but it obviously didn't work as expected because I

was still in an energy deficit.

When I got tired of counting calories, I tried to eat " normally " for a while,

but I lost even more weight, getting to a minimum of 60kg in winter. My parents

and friends started getting worried, and pushed on me to make me eat more.

Result: from orthorexia to some sort of anorexia, I decided to really eat more,

and binge eating started. Every time I would really eat more, I'd feel bad and

then restrict for one or two days. What happened here is excellently described

in the book as the " seesaw effect " : the guilt would then slowly fade while

hunger rose, another binge would happen and I was back at the beginning, every

time.

With ups and downs, this has been going on from the beginning of 2011 until now.

In the last months I've decided to ditch my pride and seek help - my friends and

family are now with me and they know everything I do, every little step, and

it's been helping me a lot.

Some days ago, last Sunday I think, I stumbled upon this book, and I - well -

devoured it. Not literally, thankfully ( ), but it fascinated me as it looked

like my biography! Every little paragraph, every thing, was about me. It was

like learning about me, and having my life perfectly analysed by two complete

strangers, the authors, which happened to know everything about me.

So, my IE journey started. I'm still in the first phase though, so I find it

difficult to " Feel my fullness " when I'm eating foods I had been restricting,

but I'm working on it

I tend to eat a light, " standard " breakfast, then eat a lot at lunch and find

myself still sated at dinner, so I usually keep it light too. I think this

pattern still doesn't really work, because at lunchtime, every time, I find

myself starving, but at least I'm not bingeing anymore. I eat lots of bread,

lots of pasta, but as soon as I'll convince myself that I can eat them whenever

I want, I won't feel the need to stock up on them while my mind allows them. I

think I'm much like the alley cat the book talks about.

However, it looks like I failed in keeping my story short - sorry for the wall

of text!

Thanks to everybody for being there - your presence alone helps me a lot!