Guest guest Posted December 22, 2010 Report Share Posted December 22, 2010 Well, I'm just posting my first message. I've only been a member and read the postings for a couple of days. I'm fairly certain my mother has BPD. Obviously, the holidays are challenging for many of us - a common thread right now! Even though I've known for a while she has BPD, I just didn't deal with it for several years. Mostly, I've been afraid of the consequences of setting boundaries with her. I know that for my own health, I need to let go of the illusion that I can ever make her happy, please her, or earn her love through my good behavior. It's really encouraging to see everyone's postings, because it reinforces my belief that she is the one who is mentally ill and has a warped view of reality, not me! Happy Holidays to everyone, and thanks for your generosity in sharing with everyone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2010 Report Share Posted December 24, 2010 Welcome, we are both glad you are here and sorry that you need to be here. I think your reluctance to set boundaries is normal and certainly ok. You changing how you respond to you bpd mom often leads to her holding onto you even tighter. I have found accepting my nada's mental illness and learning how to deal with her in a way that I protect myself is a process. Give yourself time. Again welcome, patinage > > Well, I'm just posting my first message. I've only been a member and read the postings for a couple of days. I'm fairly certain my mother has BPD. Obviously, the holidays are challenging for many of us - a common thread right now! > > Even though I've known for a while she has BPD, I just didn't deal with it for several years. Mostly, I've been afraid of the consequences of setting boundaries with her. I know that for my own health, I need to let go of the illusion that I can ever make her happy, please her, or earn her love through my good behavior. > > It's really encouraging to see everyone's postings, because it reinforces my belief that she is the one who is mentally ill and has a warped view of reality, not me! > > Happy Holidays to everyone, and thanks for your generosity in sharing with everyone else. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2010 Report Share Posted December 24, 2010 Welcome, we are both glad you are here and sorry that you need to be here. I think your reluctance to set boundaries is normal and certainly ok. You changing how you respond to you bpd mom often leads to her holding onto you even tighter. I have found accepting my nada's mental illness and learning how to deal with her in a way that I protect myself is a process. Give yourself time. Again welcome, patinage > > Well, I'm just posting my first message. I've only been a member and read the postings for a couple of days. I'm fairly certain my mother has BPD. Obviously, the holidays are challenging for many of us - a common thread right now! > > Even though I've known for a while she has BPD, I just didn't deal with it for several years. Mostly, I've been afraid of the consequences of setting boundaries with her. I know that for my own health, I need to let go of the illusion that I can ever make her happy, please her, or earn her love through my good behavior. > > It's really encouraging to see everyone's postings, because it reinforces my belief that she is the one who is mentally ill and has a warped view of reality, not me! > > Happy Holidays to everyone, and thanks for your generosity in sharing with everyone else. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2010 Report Share Posted December 24, 2010 Welcome, we are both glad you are here and sorry that you need to be here. I think your reluctance to set boundaries is normal and certainly ok. You changing how you respond to you bpd mom often leads to her holding onto you even tighter. I have found accepting my nada's mental illness and learning how to deal with her in a way that I protect myself is a process. Give yourself time. Again welcome, patinage > > Well, I'm just posting my first message. I've only been a member and read the postings for a couple of days. I'm fairly certain my mother has BPD. Obviously, the holidays are challenging for many of us - a common thread right now! > > Even though I've known for a while she has BPD, I just didn't deal with it for several years. Mostly, I've been afraid of the consequences of setting boundaries with her. I know that for my own health, I need to let go of the illusion that I can ever make her happy, please her, or earn her love through my good behavior. > > It's really encouraging to see everyone's postings, because it reinforces my belief that she is the one who is mentally ill and has a warped view of reality, not me! > > Happy Holidays to everyone, and thanks for your generosity in sharing with everyone else. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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