Re: Intuitive eaters versus society

[Guest guest]

I am happy that you and your dad can discuss these matters, but I also hope that

you will keep yourself - body and mind - foremost in any final considerations

and decisions you make.

My thoughts about what your dad said regarding 'most' people is that his basic

idea is correct - those who have no difficulties with eating too much or too

little probably do not give much if any THINKING or emotional involvement to

eating in their lives. My thoughts are that these people have retained their

INternal signals and feedback mechanism (blood sugar, body hunger sensations,

sensitivity to directed food needs [cravings] etc.) and react to those

appropriately.

On the other hand there are people as we are - for whatever reasonS we have

disconnected from those INternal signals and feedback which has resulted in our

bodies not receiving as close to what it needs as possible. Instead of INternal

directions, we have become EXternally directed - usually from learned behavior

encouraged by those who 1) also have disconnected need drives or 2) have their

own need to impose their ideas onto others.

Dieting focuses on WHAT, WHEN, WHERE & HOW one eats, but rarely of never answers

WHY we eat. Normal eaters don't need to ask or direct themselves by those

criteria - they just 'know' and act accordingly. But because un-normal eaters

have accepted and incorporated 'additional' criteria, which are given preference

OVER one's basic needs and directives, it is those same EXternal criteria that

becomes the task for removing from the process of eating for us. Maybe thinking

of ourselves as 'programmed' cult members might help? ;-)

Thanking your dad for his generous sharing of his thoughts and how he chooses to

approach his eating is a good thing. But remembering that YOUR eating is better

served by YOUR understanding and acting appropriate to YOUR body and needs is

THE #1 criteria that will best serve YOU is what you will have to decide and

pursue within IE.

All my BEST wishes for you and looking forward to more of your sharings as you

go your IE journey.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hello everybody,

> I've just had an illuminating talk with my dad, who candidly stated some

things which seem to go against the IE way of thinking.

>

> For example, he told me that most of the time people eat because they have to

- they don't really enjoy everything they eat, but they just eat. Neither do

they concentrate much on how much they eat, they just eat a normal,

socially-acceptable amount and variety of things and that's it.

>

> Now, I think this is also true, because as long as you eat " normally " ,

mindlessly I'd say, you don't really have to focus on what/how much/when you're

eating; you get used to whatever pattern your family sticks to and follow it.

>

> Another thing he said, about the fact that before eating I try to look for

hunger cues, was again against IE and towards " society-driven " eating: if lunch

with our family is at 13:00, he eats then; if, for some reason, it happens to be

later, he eats later, and he doesn't feel anything between 13:00 and then, he

just does something else.

>

> So, well, I'm quite confused. Any thoughts about this?

>

> Thanks for your support

>

[Guest guest]

Katcha, Thanks for posting this response.  It was exactly what I was thinking but didn't know how to put it into words.  You did a marvelous job.  Sandy

 

I am happy that you and your dad can discuss these matters, but I also hope that you will keep yourself - body and mind - foremost in any final considerations and decisions you make.

My thoughts about what your dad said regarding 'most' people is that his basic idea is correct - those who have no difficulties with eating too much or too little probably do not give much if any THINKING or emotional involvement to eating in their lives. My thoughts are that these people have retained their INternal signals and feedback mechanism (blood sugar, body hunger sensations, sensitivity to directed food needs [cravings] etc.) and react to those appropriately.

On the other hand there are people as we are - for whatever reasonS we have disconnected from those INternal signals and feedback which has resulted in our bodies not receiving as close to what it needs as possible. Instead of INternal directions, we have become EXternally directed - usually from learned behavior encouraged by those who 1) also have disconnected need drives or 2) have their own need to impose their ideas onto others.

Dieting focuses on WHAT, WHEN, WHERE & HOW one eats, but rarely of never answers WHY we eat. Normal eaters don't need to ask or direct themselves by those criteria - they just 'know' and act accordingly. But because un-normal eaters have accepted and incorporated 'additional' criteria, which are given preference OVER one's basic needs and directives, it is those same EXternal criteria that becomes the task for removing from the process of eating for us. Maybe thinking of ourselves as 'programmed' cult members might help? ;-)

Thanking your dad for his generous sharing of his thoughts and how he chooses to approach his eating is a good thing. But remembering that YOUR eating is better served by YOUR understanding and acting appropriate to YOUR body and needs is THE #1 criteria that will best serve YOU is what you will have to decide and pursue within IE.

All my BEST wishes for you and looking forward to more of your sharings as you go your IE journey.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hello everybody,

> I've just had an illuminating talk with my dad, who candidly stated some things which seem to go against the IE way of thinking.

>

> For example, he told me that most of the time people eat because they have to - they don't really enjoy everything they eat, but they just eat. Neither do they concentrate much on how much they eat, they just eat a normal, socially-acceptable amount and variety of things and that's it.

>

> Now, I think this is also true, because as long as you eat " normally " , mindlessly I'd say, you don't really have to focus on what/how much/when you're eating; you get used to whatever pattern your family sticks to and follow it.

>

> Another thing he said, about the fact that before eating I try to look for hunger cues, was again against IE and towards " society-driven " eating: if lunch with our family is at 13:00, he eats then; if, for some reason, it happens to be later, he eats later, and he doesn't feel anything between 13:00 and then, he just does something else.

>

> So, well, I'm quite confused. Any thoughts about this?

>

> Thanks for your support

>

[Guest guest]

There are many off the beaten path roads in life and IE is one of them. The

rules that " normal eaters " follow don't apply to those of us who have become

caught in the diet/off diet cycle. We are struggling to normalize our patterns,

but we aren't there -yet. I'm sure your dad means well and kudos to him for

caring enough to engage in this kind of discussion with you; but unless he's

achieved the enormous fete of recovering from diet/weight/food compulsions he's

probably not got a lot of information that will be of help in the long run.

Best wishes and keep posting - Sandarah

>

> Hello everybody,

> I've just had an illuminating talk with my dad, who candidly stated some

things which seem to go against the IE way of thinking.

>

> For example, he told me that most of the time people eat because they have to

- they don't really enjoy everything they eat, but they just eat. Neither do

they concentrate much on how much they eat, they just eat a normal,

socially-acceptable amount and variety of things and that's it.

>

> Now, I think this is also true, because as long as you eat " normally " ,

mindlessly I'd say, you don't really have to focus on what/how much/when you're

eating; you get used to whatever pattern your family sticks to and follow it.

>

> Another thing he said, about the fact that before eating I try to look for

hunger cues, was again against IE and towards " society-driven " eating: if lunch

with our family is at 13:00, he eats then; if, for some reason, it happens to be

later, he eats later, and he doesn't feel anything between 13:00 and then, he

just does something else.

>

> So, well, I'm quite confused. Any thoughts about this?

>

> Thanks for your support

>

[Guest guest]

There are many off the beaten path roads in life and IE is one of them. The

rules that " normal eaters " follow don't apply to those of us who have become

caught in the diet/off diet cycle. We are struggling to normalize our patterns,

but we aren't there -yet. I'm sure your dad means well and kudos to him for

caring enough to engage in this kind of discussion with you; but unless he's

achieved the enormous fete of recovering from diet/weight/food compulsions he's

probably not got a lot of information that will be of help in the long run.

Best wishes and keep posting - Sandarah

>

> Hello everybody,

> I've just had an illuminating talk with my dad, who candidly stated some

things which seem to go against the IE way of thinking.

>

> For example, he told me that most of the time people eat because they have to

- they don't really enjoy everything they eat, but they just eat. Neither do

they concentrate much on how much they eat, they just eat a normal,

socially-acceptable amount and variety of things and that's it.

>

> Now, I think this is also true, because as long as you eat " normally " ,

mindlessly I'd say, you don't really have to focus on what/how much/when you're

eating; you get used to whatever pattern your family sticks to and follow it.

>

> Another thing he said, about the fact that before eating I try to look for

hunger cues, was again against IE and towards " society-driven " eating: if lunch

with our family is at 13:00, he eats then; if, for some reason, it happens to be

later, he eats later, and he doesn't feel anything between 13:00 and then, he

just does something else.

>

> So, well, I'm quite confused. Any thoughts about this?

>

> Thanks for your support

>