Guest guest Posted July 8, 2011 Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 Hello Everyone, My name is Ann and I am a newcomer to the group. I am definitely an emotional unconscious eater and WAS a professional dieter. I was on weight watchers on and off for years. I would loose weight and gain it back plus. I recently decided to see a therapist that focuses on intuitive eating. It has been challenging to learn how to tune into my body and eat only when i'm hungry and stop when i'm full/comfortable. Since I am an emotional eater, it gets very difficult to ignore the persistent " part " of myself that wants to eat and not feel. I am very excited to be part of the group and connect with others that are on the same path. Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2011 Report Share Posted July 8, 2011 Ann;Welcome! I have done a lot of emotional eating. I find that reading the posts, and even writing some of my own, helps me identify hunger vs. whatever emotion is haunting me, and gives me other tools to use (including writing!). It does get difficult, but remember to honor your body, listen to your body. You have a lot of emotional memories in your body, and you've covered them up for years (or should I say "I have covered them up for years," and maybe you relate.) Hope this listserve helps you, as it's helping me.To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: maryann652000@...Date: Fri, 8 Jul 2011 22:11:35 +0000Subject: New to the group Hello Everyone, My name is Ann and I am a newcomer to the group. I am definitely an emotional unconscious eater and WAS a professional dieter. I was on weight watchers on and off for years. I would loose weight and gain it back plus. I recently decided to see a therapist that focuses on intuitive eating. It has been challenging to learn how to tune into my body and eat only when i'm hungry and stop when i'm full/comfortable. Since I am an emotional eater, it gets very difficult to ignore the persistent "part" of myself that wants to eat and not feel. I am very excited to be part of the group and connect with others that are on the same path. Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2011 Report Share Posted July 9, 2011 Thank you Katcha and for your words of encouragement and for welcoming me to group. I was having a moment of emotional eating and before i got myself on a roll with food I got online to connect. Katcha, i agree " wanting " and " hungering " are very much alike. I knew tonight that i was " wanting " and i tried to be kind to myself even when i did some emotional eating. But, i decided to do something different to interrupt myself from reaching for more food to fill a need. , honoring and listening to my body is something that i am trying to work on since i have not done it for years. Diets have always dictated what i ate and how much i would eat and when i was off my diet, it was like a free for all. Today had moments of being tuned out of my body and grabbing for what was at the party to munch on but it's a gift to be able to catch myself and stop. Now the key is to be gentle with myself and remember that this journey is a process. I'm trying to get away from black and white thinking around food and eating. Again, it felt so nice to recieve your welcoming messages. I am eager to connect with more people on this journey. Have a great night everyone. Ann > > > > Hello Everyone, > > > > My name is Ann and I am a newcomer to the group. I am definitely an emotional unconscious eater and WAS a professional dieter. I was on weight watchers on and off for years. I would loose weight and gain it back plus. I recently decided to see a therapist that focuses on intuitive eating. It has been challenging to learn how to tune into my body and eat only when i'm hungry and stop when i'm full/comfortable. Since I am an emotional eater, it gets very difficult to ignore the persistent " part " of myself that wants to eat and not feel. I am very excited to be part of the group and connect with others that are on the same path. > > > > Ann > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Thank you, Katcha! Yes, I'm kind of scared of gaining weight, which I know will happen, at least at first. I think being in a group of supportive people on the same journey will help a lot. Thanks for the suggestion about reading the group site -- that's a good idea. I'll see how it goes with the e-mails -- I may need to keep getting them as reminders! Thanks again! Sue So lovely to have you - back - Sue. I couldn't deal with the 'rain of email' this group can produce so I read at the group site and find that to be easier for me to follow topics as they get discussed. You might want to give that a try and see if it suits you too. Waving bye-bye to dieting is so freeing, but also can be a bit insecure making - at first. I found that just being 'with' the great bunch of fellow IEers that LIVE here the support I needed to get going on my own IE journey. Glad to have you along and looking forward to your own insights as well. BEST to you, Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > Hi, everyone! > > I'm new to the group -- actually I was a member for a while earlier, but > kept changing my mind about what approach to take to my compulsive > eating. My subscription was on an e-mail address that I hardly ended up > using at all, so the posts kind of got lost in the shuffle of my life. > Now I'd like to participate in the group and really commit myself to the > Intuitive Eating approach. I read the book a long time ago and am > re-reading it. It really makes the most sense for me of all the many > approaches I've tried. > > I've spent my whole adult life either trying to follow the dictates of > the food police or rebelling against them. Recently I told my therapist > that I'm just dropping the whole thing -- the food rules, the guilt > (dropping it is easier said than done), the desperation and despair, and > hopefully eventually the self-destructive rebellion. I've just had it > with the struggle. The worst thing about it is, when I think about it, I > know the whole reason I care so much is about wanting to look a certain > way -- a way that I've never looked, even when I was thin, and a way I > certainly never can look now that I've reached 65 years of age! It's > kind of insane, but it's what our culture teaches girls, and I think in > some ways it's worse than ever these days. I'm just afraid that the > battle against child (and adult) obesity is going to result in more > shame and desperation than healthy changes. > > Anyway, I'm glad to be here and am looking forward to being part of the > group. > > Sue > Portland, Maine, US > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Thank you, Sandarah! Yes, those old pictures of my younger, thinner self -- I find them painful to look at. I'm having trouble accepting getting older. It's weird, because I admire and respect other older women, but I have so much trouble accepting myself as an older person. I'm working on it in therapy, and I think making peace with food will help. Sue Welcome, Sue. I'll look forward to reading your posts. I just turned 67 and still have those young, thin, beautiful perfect pictures to live down to. And diet rebellion, oh my. Good time to join. Sandarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Thank you, Sandarah! Yes, those old pictures of my younger, thinner self -- I find them painful to look at. I'm having trouble accepting getting older. It's weird, because I admire and respect other older women, but I have so much trouble accepting myself as an older person. I'm working on it in therapy, and I think making peace with food will help. Sue Welcome, Sue. I'll look forward to reading your posts. I just turned 67 and still have those young, thin, beautiful perfect pictures to live down to. And diet rebellion, oh my. Good time to join. Sandarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2011 Report Share Posted December 24, 2011 Sue, welcome. Glad to have you with us. There hasn't been as much posted because of the holidays. But it will be up and running again soon. I just spent 4 days with family and all the goodies. Really over indulged in many of them but am choosing to just move forward. I have noticed how awful I felt after eating so many " treats " , especially sugary ones. It's interesting that I called them " treats " when they are anything but that as to my health. But I was raised on dessert after supper, etc. And my exercise program got sidelined too. Well it is never too late to recommit. Looking forward to hearing more from you. Sandy Hi, everyone! I'm new to the group -- actually I was a member for a while earlier, but kept changing my mind about what approach to take to my compulsive eating. My subscription was on an e-mail address that I hardly ended up using at all, so the posts kind of got lost in the shuffle of my life. Now I'd like to participate in the group and really commit myself to the Intuitive Eating approach. I read the book a long time ago and am re-reading it. It really makes the most sense for me of all the many approaches I've tried. I've spent my whole adult life either trying to follow the dictates of the food police or rebelling against them. Recently I told my therapist that I'm just dropping the whole thing -- the food rules, the guilt (dropping it is easier said than done), the desperation and despair, and hopefully eventually the self-destructive rebellion. I've just had it with the struggle. The worst thing about it is, when I think about it, I know the whole reason I care so much is about wanting to look a certain way -- a way that I've never looked, even when I was thin, and a way I certainly never can look now that I've reached 65 years of age! It's kind of insane, but it's what our culture teaches girls, and I think in some ways it's worse than ever these days. I'm just afraid that the battle against child (and adult) obesity is going to result in more shame and desperation than healthy changes. Anyway, I'm glad to be here and am looking forward to being part of the group. Sue Portland, Maine, US Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 4, 2012 Report Share Posted January 4, 2012 Hi, Sue! Here's what jumped out at me in your post:"The worst thing about it is, when I think about it, I know the whole reason I care so much is about wanting to look a certain way -- a way that I've never looked, even when I was thin, and a way I certainly never can look now that I've reached 65 years of age! It's kind of insane, but it's what our culture teaches girls, and I think in some ways it's worse than ever these days."This is one of the issues of reality I'm struggling with. I'm 60. I'm never going to look like a young woman again. Not only have I decided to quit subscribing to the thin-is-pretty mindset, I'm letting my colored hair grow out. This is what a 60-year-old woman looks like, world. This is what you look like at 60, Ellie.Ellie I've spent my whole adult life either trying to follow the dictates of the food police or rebelling against them. Recently I told my therapist that I'm just dropping the whole thing -- the food rules, the guilt (dropping it is easier said than done), the desperation and despair, and hopefully eventually the self-destructive rebellion. I've just had it with the struggle. The worst thing about it is, when I think about it, I know the whole reason I care so much is about wanting to look a certain way -- a way that I've never looked, even when I was thin, and a way I certainly never can look now that I've reached 65 years of age! It's kind of insane, but it's what our culture teaches girls, and I think in some ways it's worse than ever these days. I'm just afraid that the battle against child (and adult) obesity is going to result in more shame and desperation than healthy changes.Anyway, I'm glad to be here and am looking forward to being part of the group.SuePortland, Maine, US Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2012 Report Share Posted January 10, 2012 I can think of a few older women still portrayed as sexy: Diane Keaton, Meryl Streep, Diane Lane and I think there are a few others. Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone --- Original Message --- Sent: January 10, 2012 1/10/12 To: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: New to the group  I think many of us are marginalized in our culture, whether it is because of weight or gender or age. Older women, especially, are given a hard time. Just look at our Hollywood movies. A woman over 40 portrayed as sexy or appealing? Forget it, she's gross and old. Such women are exceptions, not rules. A male friend of mine said the other day, " no one wants to see a 40-year-old woman strip. " Great. Thanks. Glad that we are only appealing for such a short time and then it's into the trash bin with us. I say we forget apologizing for who we are and accentuate our beauty, no matter the age.  Mimi Subject: Re: New to the group To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Friday, January 6, 2012, 4:27 PM  Hi, Ellie! Thanks for your response to my post! It's kind of painful to embody a stereotype, and I feel that I do. It's the stereotype of the fat, gray-haired middle-aged (well, the " old " side of middle aged!) woman. It does a number on my self-esteem, which isn't great to begin with. I'm lucky to have a therapist who understands the struggle with food very well (she was bulemic years ago) and who used mindfulness to help her get to a balanced and healthy outlook on the issue. She's good at helping me work through these feelings of unattractiveness and unworthiness, which have been made so much worse by being older and overweight. What's hard, too, is giving up the idea that I can look young and attractive by society's standards if I only lose weight. As you said, Ellie, I'm never going to look like a young woman again. The ironic thing is that when I look at other older women, I see their beauty. But I don't see my own. Part of me actually likes my gray hair -- but I just realized that I like it as gray hair on a young-looking person (wishful thinking about myself!) -- not gray hair on an older-looking person. I dislike thinking that my gray hair automatically slots me into the category of " old, " in the view of younger people -- and therefore invisible as a person to be taken seriously. I'm using gentle and soothing self-talk to help me counter these negative feelings. I've decided that I'm going to try to post here every day. I get so much out of everyone's posts. It's kind of like when I got into AA -- I'm a sober alcoholic -- and felt immediately at home. I feel that all of you know what I'm talking about. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2012 Report Share Posted January 10, 2012 I can think of a few older women still portrayed as sexy: Diane Keaton, Meryl Streep, Diane Lane and I think there are a few others. Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone --- Original Message --- Sent: January 10, 2012 1/10/12 To: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: New to the group  I think many of us are marginalized in our culture, whether it is because of weight or gender or age. Older women, especially, are given a hard time. Just look at our Hollywood movies. A woman over 40 portrayed as sexy or appealing? Forget it, she's gross and old. Such women are exceptions, not rules. A male friend of mine said the other day, " no one wants to see a 40-year-old woman strip. " Great. Thanks. Glad that we are only appealing for such a short time and then it's into the trash bin with us. I say we forget apologizing for who we are and accentuate our beauty, no matter the age.  Mimi Subject: Re: New to the group To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Friday, January 6, 2012, 4:27 PM  Hi, Ellie! Thanks for your response to my post! It's kind of painful to embody a stereotype, and I feel that I do. It's the stereotype of the fat, gray-haired middle-aged (well, the " old " side of middle aged!) woman. It does a number on my self-esteem, which isn't great to begin with. I'm lucky to have a therapist who understands the struggle with food very well (she was bulemic years ago) and who used mindfulness to help her get to a balanced and healthy outlook on the issue. She's good at helping me work through these feelings of unattractiveness and unworthiness, which have been made so much worse by being older and overweight. What's hard, too, is giving up the idea that I can look young and attractive by society's standards if I only lose weight. As you said, Ellie, I'm never going to look like a young woman again. The ironic thing is that when I look at other older women, I see their beauty. But I don't see my own. Part of me actually likes my gray hair -- but I just realized that I like it as gray hair on a young-looking person (wishful thinking about myself!) -- not gray hair on an older-looking person. I dislike thinking that my gray hair automatically slots me into the category of " old, " in the view of younger people -- and therefore invisible as a person to be taken seriously. I'm using gentle and soothing self-talk to help me counter these negative feelings. I've decided that I'm going to try to post here every day. I get so much out of everyone's posts. It's kind of like when I got into AA -- I'm a sober alcoholic -- and felt immediately at home. I feel that all of you know what I'm talking about. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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