Conscious eating, Higher Power and OA

[Guest guest]

, I love your post here. I think we all have problems with " unconscious "

eating. I know it's probably my biggest problem and has been my entire life.

It started at age 6 or 7 when I unconsciously ate to avoid scared and lonely

feelings of walking into a big house when no one was home. Mixed feelings of

being a " big girl " and having my house key and coming home all by myself after

school, to being along and scared. The TV and food have been my best friends

ever since.

Since starting IE 4 years ago, I am so much better. But when stressed and/or

extremely tired, I still go into the zoned out unconscious eating in front of

the TV. The difference now is that I am aware I am doing it - almost like I'm

having an outer body experience and looking at myself from above doing this

unconscious eating. But there are times when I have to give myself permission

to go ahead and do it, but with being aware I am doing it. I find I don't eat

the quantities that I used to and this doesn't last very long. And, these

occurances are so very rare anymore.

I love giving this to a Higher Power. This makes me think of the book

recommended by Gillian our moderator and IE coach, The Surrendered Wife. The

book is about surrenduring. And how wonderful you can surrender this to your

higher power. And I love the gratitude to the higher power too. I'm so glad

that this has helped you with those shame feelings. Way to go!

I also wanted to comment on OA. I did OA when I was in high school about 25

years ago. It was the thinnest I've ever been and I do look back and feel I was

very intuitive then. But I was probably addicted to exercise. But then I went

away to college and started packing on the pounds and have yo-yo'd ever since

trying just about every diet out there.

I tried OA again just when I was beginning IE. I thought they too might go well

together. And I still think they could. I think it all depends on the group.

Some groups are great and very IE and others are not. The group I found

unfortunately had a lot of anorexics and bulemics and the people were extremely

dysfunctional and I find OA to be a little box they put themselves into and they

could not function outside of that box. I never really had the gumption to try

other groups, but I do believe the two could work well together.

Alana

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> Evan;Going unconscious has been a problem of mine, too. I don't know where

you are at with a Higher Power, but I ask for help with food focus and

compulsion to eat. It helps me stay conscious. I also begin by focusing on

each bite, and really enjoying it. When I focus on enjoying it, the shame seems

to evaporate. Shame always pushes me deeper into overeating. Then when I'm

done eating, I send gratitude to my Higher Power. No big long speech, just

thank you. Those are the steps I've been using to deal with the addictive

pieces. For me the addiction is more about shame, than it is about any food.

When I respect myself enough to listen to my body, and follow what it says, all

the rest seems to fall into place. I'm also trying to listen to the IE tapes

regularly, so that I remember all the details of IE. Hang in there, Evan, it's

a process, and it's always " One day at a time. "

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> To: IntuitiveEating_Support

> From: evmatrix@...

> Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2011 09:54:10 -0700

> Subject: RE: Tentatively New

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> Thank you so much for your thoughts . That's the main reason I'm

here. There's not enough support around listening to and trusting your body in

OA. The fellowship and support is wonderful. The spiritual aspect I love, but

there's too much making the body wrong.

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> If I was brand new to IE I would just jump into it whole hog, but I've tried

to listen to my body before and I just go unconscious immediately. I end up in

front of the TV shoveling food into my mouth. My dream is that I will get to a

place you've gotten to with it. I've had moments. I don't believe my body

betrayed me. I believe my mind did. As I write this I feel so desperate. I'm

so sick of acting out with food.

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> I'm sure there are a lot of emotions underneath all this, as well as body

shame. If IE had sponsors, someone to walk you through the process I might go

for it. For now, I'm going to wade into the pool.

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> Luckily, in OA, I did learn what it feels like to be hungry. So, I am playing

with just that part for right now. Waiting until I'm genuinely hungry to start

eating. I'm going to try to do that for several months. Then, I think I will

add really trying to listening to what my body wants to eat.

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> Thanks for listening.

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> Evan

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