Guest guest Posted December 28, 2011 Report Share Posted December 28, 2011 Sandarah, I totally get what you are saying. I have hidden from seeing old friends because I didn't want them to see me like this, not gone with my husband to his Christmas party because I didn't want him to be known as the guy with the fat wife, not bought nice clothes because I do not deserve them like this, and God forbid if someone wants to take my picture!! As time goes on, I realize I have spent years of my life with this mentality and it is so sad! I am wasting my life hiding. I am glad you responded with your struggle when you started which seems just like what I am going through as a noob. I am sure I will have other moments of panic before I " get " this fully. Although I have long ago understood I will never look like a victorias secret model, what I want is to be comfortable in my body. I liked your Biggest Loser/AA analogy. Funny! Val > > > > I have always attached my self worth to my weight. When I lost weight I felt great- bought nice clothes, took great care of myself, threw out all my fat clothes because I would NEVER wear them again...this time. > > > > Everytime I gained the weight back (and more) I was stuck with no clothes, not caring to do hair, makeup, etc. > > > > This morning I took a long look at myself in the mirror and am feeling panic-y and torn internally. I look terrible and am disgusting to myself. The last weight gain has changed my body shape considerably and has scared me. > > > > My initial immediate thought was DIET! Get this weight off ASAP! > > (I know in my head that this cannot happen again. I have not figured out WHY I keep gaining weight back, although the IE book has given me some good ideas). > > > > I guess what I'm asking is how do you guys deal with feelings like this? > > I am wanting a normal realationship with food, but I also don't want to look like this anymore. ugh! > > > > (BTW- I was watching a biggest loser special last night. Bob Harper said that keeping weight off " is a stuggle everyday " and that " everybody who wants to be thin has this struggle. " I don't want every day to be a struggle!!!! I just want to be a normal weight and not have to think about food every second! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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