Re: Re: The E word...what's holding you back? Ranting...

[Guest guest]

I think the problem with that whole trope of "just follow your dream" and all the rags to riches stories we hear on Oprah, etc. is that it's the same as the pressure we put on ourselves to eat "right" or exercise a specific number of minutes, doing a specific set of movements X times a week: they are too overwhelming and nebulous. If your standard of what is ultimately successful is the impoverished woman who pulled her family out of the slums by baking cookies for 8 hours after her night shift, than you will never measure up! What good is working on a chapter of a novel for an hour every weekend, when there is that kind of perfection to compare yourself to? Whatever you do seems puny and inadequate. Honestly, I thought the only way to live my dreams was the up and quit my job, sell my house, and move abroad. Then I felt like a coward for not doing so.

Like I didn't have the courage to take the big Risks with a capital "R" and follow my Dreams with a capital "D."

Well what's wrong with small changes? You joined the gym; you didn't embark on a cross-country running journey. If the cross-country trip were your only standard of success, you would be left spinning your wheels and feeling bad about yourself. I have spent a lot of time feeling like my life isn't "big enough," "important enough," "revolutionary enough." Thinking in terms of the bigger picture is sometimes too debilitating. Instead of thinking that you "finally need to get off your butt and follow your dream," how about jotting down some ideas for a novel (for instance) or going to a museum and seeing what inspires you, seeing what comes up for you. This is how I want to live, but I am too stuck in looking at myself from above and disapproving. Thanks for voicing your frustrations. Gave me much to think about!

Mimi

Subject: Re: The "E" word...what's holding you back? Ranting...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Tuesday, November 15, 2011, 2:01 PM

This is totally on topic for me. I know that I eat to sublimate the loss of dreams, hope, creative expression, love - all of it. I don't hate my life, but deep down I know that there's another life calling to me that I'm just too stuck to move towards. There's so much out there about embracing the dream. When I hear that though, I often do a sort of internal "whatever" in my head. I used to get so sick of Oprah's shows on people who've made millions baking cookies and how fabulous their lives were. The internal messges are the same as the diet police only they rag on about life overall. I can't even dredge up the content of the messages that play in the background, but I know the gist of them. "Don't take a risk; that's stupid; what are you thinking; you have to play it safe; who do you think you are; what were you thinking?!" Etc. etc. etc. Just this morning as I was getting ready to come to work I heard some guy on the

radio with his "Do what you love and the money will follow" message and I just hated him. I did not want to hear that kind of message, just as I was girding my loins to face another day in the trenches. My job isn't terrible, I have a lot of freedom, I finally make decent money... And yet I work in a system that is as much of the problem as any - and I don't feel like I'm making a crumb of difference. I would love to yell from the rooftops about all of the injustices I see. I would just love to. And, I don't believe anyone would want to hear it. So... I know this (IE) is in actually all about reclaiming my life - and I'm sort of tiptoeing around my dreams, my passion from time to time, wondering if I will ever step up. Sandarah