Re: OA/IE (was: I'm so discouraged)

[Guest guest]

Your post made me laugh, re: "cookies" on the computer triggering a binge. I do feel for people who have this relationship with food (and I was one of them), but you have to wonder if something is really off when you are unable to see mention of a food in print without it triggering you. How do you live in a such a world? Food is mentioned everywhere. You would have to stop watching television, reading, or otherwise engaging with the world to avoid this. I would be wary of being part of a group where one has to walk on so many eggshells just to have a conversation.

Mimi

Subject: OA/IE (was: I'm so discouraged)To: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Monday, December 5, 2011, 2:09 PM

Kate, I think you & I are on some kind of parallel wavelength or something :-)I was reading on the OA list as well, and listening to your comments about somehow combining the two, and have come to the same conclusions you have. I've dabbled in OA several times in the last 25-30 years and always I come out with the same impressions: restrictive, forbidden, a lot of failure (and whining about it.) You're not even supposed to mention any foods by name because just hearing the word might trigger someone into wanting it and causing them to slip or relapse. I wonder, if you're having computer problems and it has something to do with "cookies," would that trigger a binge? But that's neither here nor there.Anyway, I signed off that list. I like it here. I like the positive attitude. I

don't always intuitively eat the right thing at the right time in the right amount, but I'm learning not to beat myself up when I eat unwisely, which I sometimes do. And when I do, I'm not kicking myself around; if I'm overeating, it's because that's what I choose to do right now. I'm tired of getting all bent out of shape about it. Ellie

[Guest guest]

Your post made me laugh, re: "cookies" on the computer triggering a binge. I do feel for people who have this relationship with food (and I was one of them), but you have to wonder if something is really off when you are unable to see mention of a food in print without it triggering you. How do you live in a such a world? Food is mentioned everywhere. You would have to stop watching television, reading, or otherwise engaging with the world to avoid this. I would be wary of being part of a group where one has to walk on so many eggshells just to have a conversation.

Mimi

Subject: OA/IE (was: I'm so discouraged)To: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Monday, December 5, 2011, 2:09 PM

Kate, I think you & I are on some kind of parallel wavelength or something :-)I was reading on the OA list as well, and listening to your comments about somehow combining the two, and have come to the same conclusions you have. I've dabbled in OA several times in the last 25-30 years and always I come out with the same impressions: restrictive, forbidden, a lot of failure (and whining about it.) You're not even supposed to mention any foods by name because just hearing the word might trigger someone into wanting it and causing them to slip or relapse. I wonder, if you're having computer problems and it has something to do with "cookies," would that trigger a binge? But that's neither here nor there.Anyway, I signed off that list. I like it here. I like the positive attitude. I

don't always intuitively eat the right thing at the right time in the right amount, but I'm learning not to beat myself up when I eat unwisely, which I sometimes do. And when I do, I'm not kicking myself around; if I'm overeating, it's because that's what I choose to do right now. I'm tired of getting all bent out of shape about it. Ellie

[Guest guest]

Your post made me laugh, re: "cookies" on the computer triggering a binge. I do feel for people who have this relationship with food (and I was one of them), but you have to wonder if something is really off when you are unable to see mention of a food in print without it triggering you. How do you live in a such a world? Food is mentioned everywhere. You would have to stop watching television, reading, or otherwise engaging with the world to avoid this. I would be wary of being part of a group where one has to walk on so many eggshells just to have a conversation.

Mimi

Subject: OA/IE (was: I'm so discouraged)To: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Monday, December 5, 2011, 2:09 PM

Kate, I think you & I are on some kind of parallel wavelength or something :-)I was reading on the OA list as well, and listening to your comments about somehow combining the two, and have come to the same conclusions you have. I've dabbled in OA several times in the last 25-30 years and always I come out with the same impressions: restrictive, forbidden, a lot of failure (and whining about it.) You're not even supposed to mention any foods by name because just hearing the word might trigger someone into wanting it and causing them to slip or relapse. I wonder, if you're having computer problems and it has something to do with "cookies," would that trigger a binge? But that's neither here nor there.Anyway, I signed off that list. I like it here. I like the positive attitude. I

don't always intuitively eat the right thing at the right time in the right amount, but I'm learning not to beat myself up when I eat unwisely, which I sometimes do. And when I do, I'm not kicking myself around; if I'm overeating, it's because that's what I choose to do right now. I'm tired of getting all bent out of shape about it. Ellie

[Guest guest]

“I'm tired of getting all bent out of shape about it.” Exactly!

One of the huge differences between most

other lists and this one, is that even if we are struggling and post about it,

there is something positive also posted. It’s not a case of “I’m

so bad” “I’ve failed again” and, as you said, “I’m

really serious this time.” I’d noticed on the other

list in the subject line “food mentioned”, I’m glad we are

just who we are and can support each other.

I made some delicious spaghetti

yesterday and had some with a nice salad. It was yummy. Pasta used

to be one of those things that brought up guilty feelings but no more.

Kate

From:

IntuitiveEating_Support

[mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of EHamilton

Sent: Monday, December 05, 2011

11:10 AM

To:

IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject:

OA/IE (was: I'm so discouraged)

Kate, I

think you & I are on some kind of parallel wavelength or something :-)

I was reading on the OA list as well, and listening to your comments about

somehow combining the two, and have come to the same conclusions you have. I've

dabbled in OA several times in the last 25-30 years and always I come out with

the same impressions: restrictive, forbidden, a lot of failure (and whining

about it.) You're not even supposed to mention any foods by name because just

hearing the word might trigger someone into wanting it and causing them to slip

or relapse.

I wonder, if you're having computer problems and it has something to do with

" cookies, " would that trigger a binge? But that's neither here nor

there.

Anyway, I signed off that list. I like it here. I like the positive attitude. I

don't always intuitively eat the right thing at the right time in the right

amount, but I'm learning not to beat myself up when I eat unwisely, which I

sometimes do. And when I do, I'm not kicking myself around; if I'm overeating,

it's because that's what I choose to do right now. I'm tired of getting all bent

out of shape about it.

Ellie

From: Kate

I

wonder, also, if subconsciously I was reacting to my brief forage into

OA. I was seriously thinking I would be able to merge OA and IE.

However, after days of reading the OA lists, AND posts from great people here,

I realized it was not the way I wanted to go. I think that reading all

those posts about forbidden foods, abstinence of particular foods, how most

people are failing, that I got into that mindset of not being to do this thing

of eating healthy and being happy. I started eating large quantities of

“forbidden” foods for me in the past. Pizza ($10 from Pizza

Hut, and I got pan crust), ice cream with peanuts, frozen pies baked fresh from

the oven.

Rather

than beat myself up (my usual thing) I thought – hmmm….must be some

sort of “rebellion”. Well, I said, go on from here.

Which I am doing.

This

list has been a tremendous help for me. I went to our greyhound Christmas

party last night, where last year I was several sizes smaller. I got a

lot of comments last year about my weight loss and I felt really good about

myself, even if it was artificial and I was starving. This year, I was

sort of reluctant to even go because of the weight gain (again) but I thought,

hey – my friends love me, they are not going to love me less because

there is more of me! I did have a great time, eating everything I wanted

to eat, even dessert, but not stuffing myself.

So,

thank you everyone, for your support even though I’ve not met any of you

in person. Even though I made this email about me…..Tilley, you are

in good and supportive company here.

Kate

From:

IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:

IntuitiveEating_Support ] On

Behalf Of EHamilton

Sent: Saturday, December 03, 2011

11:16 AM

To:

IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re:

I'm so discouraged

OK, Tilley,

print out this paragraph from your post and tape it up somewhere where you'll

see and read it several times a day!!

" Many

things are going well. I have sweets in the house that I'm eating periodically

(I,m really enjoying baking again, and am surprised at how few of the baked

things I need to feel satisfied). I',m finding myself realizing when I'm full

and stopping, if not exactly at that moment then sooner than I would have

before. I'm not eating meals when I'm not hungry, and often skipping meals

altogether when I've eaten a lot earlier. "

It is hard to

change habits. I'm working hard on it too. And in spite of our not wanting to

resemble dieters by thinking too much about it, we kind of do have to think

about it and make conscious decisions in order to turn it around.

I was

thinking, myself, exactly what you said about the sweets: enjoying baking,

being satisfied with less. I was just going to post, when I got online, that

I'm tired of cheap dollar-store cookies (I'll eat 10 trying to get satisfied)

and bought stuff to bake my own good ones. I'm going to keep the dough in the

freezer and just bake 6 at a time, keep the whole family from mindless

cookie-noshing.

Ellie

From: tilley200

Many things

are going well. I have sweets in the house that I'm eating periodically (I,m

really enjoying baking again, and am surprised at how few of the baked things I

need to feel satisfied). I',m finding myself realizing when I'm full and

stopping, if not exactly at that moment then sooner than I would have before.

I'm not eating meals when I'm not hungry, and often skipping meals altogether

when I've eaten a lot earlier. But still.....

Sigh.

[Guest guest]

“I'm tired of getting all bent out of shape about it.” Exactly!

One of the huge differences between most

other lists and this one, is that even if we are struggling and post about it,

there is something positive also posted. It’s not a case of “I’m

so bad” “I’ve failed again” and, as you said, “I’m

really serious this time.” I’d noticed on the other

list in the subject line “food mentioned”, I’m glad we are

just who we are and can support each other.

I made some delicious spaghetti

yesterday and had some with a nice salad. It was yummy. Pasta used

to be one of those things that brought up guilty feelings but no more.

Kate

From:

IntuitiveEating_Support

[mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of EHamilton

Sent: Monday, December 05, 2011

11:10 AM

To:

IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject:

OA/IE (was: I'm so discouraged)

Kate, I

think you & I are on some kind of parallel wavelength or something :-)

I was reading on the OA list as well, and listening to your comments about

somehow combining the two, and have come to the same conclusions you have. I've

dabbled in OA several times in the last 25-30 years and always I come out with

the same impressions: restrictive, forbidden, a lot of failure (and whining

about it.) You're not even supposed to mention any foods by name because just

hearing the word might trigger someone into wanting it and causing them to slip

or relapse.

I wonder, if you're having computer problems and it has something to do with

" cookies, " would that trigger a binge? But that's neither here nor

there.

Anyway, I signed off that list. I like it here. I like the positive attitude. I

don't always intuitively eat the right thing at the right time in the right

amount, but I'm learning not to beat myself up when I eat unwisely, which I

sometimes do. And when I do, I'm not kicking myself around; if I'm overeating,

it's because that's what I choose to do right now. I'm tired of getting all bent

out of shape about it.

Ellie

From: Kate

I

wonder, also, if subconsciously I was reacting to my brief forage into

OA. I was seriously thinking I would be able to merge OA and IE.

However, after days of reading the OA lists, AND posts from great people here,

I realized it was not the way I wanted to go. I think that reading all

those posts about forbidden foods, abstinence of particular foods, how most

people are failing, that I got into that mindset of not being to do this thing

of eating healthy and being happy. I started eating large quantities of

“forbidden” foods for me in the past. Pizza ($10 from Pizza

Hut, and I got pan crust), ice cream with peanuts, frozen pies baked fresh from

the oven.

Rather

than beat myself up (my usual thing) I thought – hmmm….must be some

sort of “rebellion”. Well, I said, go on from here.

Which I am doing.

This

list has been a tremendous help for me. I went to our greyhound Christmas

party last night, where last year I was several sizes smaller. I got a

lot of comments last year about my weight loss and I felt really good about

myself, even if it was artificial and I was starving. This year, I was

sort of reluctant to even go because of the weight gain (again) but I thought,

hey – my friends love me, they are not going to love me less because

there is more of me! I did have a great time, eating everything I wanted

to eat, even dessert, but not stuffing myself.

So,

thank you everyone, for your support even though I’ve not met any of you

in person. Even though I made this email about me…..Tilley, you are

in good and supportive company here.

Kate

From:

IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:

IntuitiveEating_Support ] On

Behalf Of EHamilton

Sent: Saturday, December 03, 2011

11:16 AM

To:

IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re:

I'm so discouraged

OK, Tilley,

print out this paragraph from your post and tape it up somewhere where you'll

see and read it several times a day!!

" Many

things are going well. I have sweets in the house that I'm eating periodically

(I,m really enjoying baking again, and am surprised at how few of the baked

things I need to feel satisfied). I',m finding myself realizing when I'm full

and stopping, if not exactly at that moment then sooner than I would have

before. I'm not eating meals when I'm not hungry, and often skipping meals

altogether when I've eaten a lot earlier. "

It is hard to

change habits. I'm working hard on it too. And in spite of our not wanting to

resemble dieters by thinking too much about it, we kind of do have to think

about it and make conscious decisions in order to turn it around.

I was

thinking, myself, exactly what you said about the sweets: enjoying baking,

being satisfied with less. I was just going to post, when I got online, that

I'm tired of cheap dollar-store cookies (I'll eat 10 trying to get satisfied)

and bought stuff to bake my own good ones. I'm going to keep the dough in the

freezer and just bake 6 at a time, keep the whole family from mindless

cookie-noshing.

Ellie

From: tilley200

Many things

are going well. I have sweets in the house that I'm eating periodically (I,m

really enjoying baking again, and am surprised at how few of the baked things I

need to feel satisfied). I',m finding myself realizing when I'm full and

stopping, if not exactly at that moment then sooner than I would have before.

I'm not eating meals when I'm not hungry, and often skipping meals altogether

when I've eaten a lot earlier. But still.....

Sigh.

[Guest guest]

“I'm tired of getting all bent out of shape about it.” Exactly!

One of the huge differences between most

other lists and this one, is that even if we are struggling and post about it,

there is something positive also posted. It’s not a case of “I’m

so bad” “I’ve failed again” and, as you said, “I’m

really serious this time.” I’d noticed on the other

list in the subject line “food mentioned”, I’m glad we are

just who we are and can support each other.

I made some delicious spaghetti

yesterday and had some with a nice salad. It was yummy. Pasta used

to be one of those things that brought up guilty feelings but no more.

Kate

From:

IntuitiveEating_Support

[mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of EHamilton

Sent: Monday, December 05, 2011

11:10 AM

To:

IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject:

OA/IE (was: I'm so discouraged)

Kate, I

think you & I are on some kind of parallel wavelength or something :-)

I was reading on the OA list as well, and listening to your comments about

somehow combining the two, and have come to the same conclusions you have. I've

dabbled in OA several times in the last 25-30 years and always I come out with

the same impressions: restrictive, forbidden, a lot of failure (and whining

about it.) You're not even supposed to mention any foods by name because just

hearing the word might trigger someone into wanting it and causing them to slip

or relapse.

I wonder, if you're having computer problems and it has something to do with

" cookies, " would that trigger a binge? But that's neither here nor

there.

Anyway, I signed off that list. I like it here. I like the positive attitude. I

don't always intuitively eat the right thing at the right time in the right

amount, but I'm learning not to beat myself up when I eat unwisely, which I

sometimes do. And when I do, I'm not kicking myself around; if I'm overeating,

it's because that's what I choose to do right now. I'm tired of getting all bent

out of shape about it.

Ellie

From: Kate

I

wonder, also, if subconsciously I was reacting to my brief forage into

OA. I was seriously thinking I would be able to merge OA and IE.

However, after days of reading the OA lists, AND posts from great people here,

I realized it was not the way I wanted to go. I think that reading all

those posts about forbidden foods, abstinence of particular foods, how most

people are failing, that I got into that mindset of not being to do this thing

of eating healthy and being happy. I started eating large quantities of

“forbidden” foods for me in the past. Pizza ($10 from Pizza

Hut, and I got pan crust), ice cream with peanuts, frozen pies baked fresh from

the oven.

Rather

than beat myself up (my usual thing) I thought – hmmm….must be some

sort of “rebellion”. Well, I said, go on from here.

Which I am doing.

This

list has been a tremendous help for me. I went to our greyhound Christmas

party last night, where last year I was several sizes smaller. I got a

lot of comments last year about my weight loss and I felt really good about

myself, even if it was artificial and I was starving. This year, I was

sort of reluctant to even go because of the weight gain (again) but I thought,

hey – my friends love me, they are not going to love me less because

there is more of me! I did have a great time, eating everything I wanted

to eat, even dessert, but not stuffing myself.

So,

thank you everyone, for your support even though I’ve not met any of you

in person. Even though I made this email about me…..Tilley, you are

in good and supportive company here.

Kate

From:

IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:

IntuitiveEating_Support ] On

Behalf Of EHamilton

Sent: Saturday, December 03, 2011

11:16 AM

To:

IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re:

I'm so discouraged

OK, Tilley,

print out this paragraph from your post and tape it up somewhere where you'll

see and read it several times a day!!

" Many

things are going well. I have sweets in the house that I'm eating periodically

(I,m really enjoying baking again, and am surprised at how few of the baked

things I need to feel satisfied). I',m finding myself realizing when I'm full

and stopping, if not exactly at that moment then sooner than I would have

before. I'm not eating meals when I'm not hungry, and often skipping meals

altogether when I've eaten a lot earlier. "

It is hard to

change habits. I'm working hard on it too. And in spite of our not wanting to

resemble dieters by thinking too much about it, we kind of do have to think

about it and make conscious decisions in order to turn it around.

I was

thinking, myself, exactly what you said about the sweets: enjoying baking,

being satisfied with less. I was just going to post, when I got online, that

I'm tired of cheap dollar-store cookies (I'll eat 10 trying to get satisfied)

and bought stuff to bake my own good ones. I'm going to keep the dough in the

freezer and just bake 6 at a time, keep the whole family from mindless

cookie-noshing.

Ellie

From: tilley200

Many things

are going well. I have sweets in the house that I'm eating periodically (I,m

really enjoying baking again, and am surprised at how few of the baked things I

need to feel satisfied). I',m finding myself realizing when I'm full and

stopping, if not exactly at that moment then sooner than I would have before.

I'm not eating meals when I'm not hungry, and often skipping meals altogether

when I've eaten a lot earlier. But still.....

Sigh.

[Guest guest]

I was wondering that too, how to live in the real world when just the mention of food triggers a binge. In AA, the mother of all the "A" groups, participants talk about alcohol all the time, and how to stay sober when surrounded by alcohol, and they manage to do so, and mostly without whining, too. I think the IE approach helps me sidestep self-absorption, self-pity, and fear of failure. Like, just do it.Ellie

Your post made me laugh, re: "cookies" on the computer triggering a binge. I do feel for people who have this relationship with food (and I was one of them), but you have to wonder if something is really off when you are unable to see mention of a food in print without it triggering you. How do you live in a such a world? Food is mentioned everywhere. You would have to stop watching television, reading, or otherwise engaging with the world to avoid this. I would be wary of being part of a group where one has to walk on so many eggshells just to have a conversation.

Mimi

I wonder, if you're having computer problems and it has something to do with "cookies," would that trigger a binge? But that's neither here nor there.

[Guest guest]

I was wondering that too, how to live in the real world when just the mention of food triggers a binge. In AA, the mother of all the "A" groups, participants talk about alcohol all the time, and how to stay sober when surrounded by alcohol, and they manage to do so, and mostly without whining, too. I think the IE approach helps me sidestep self-absorption, self-pity, and fear of failure. Like, just do it.Ellie

Your post made me laugh, re: "cookies" on the computer triggering a binge. I do feel for people who have this relationship with food (and I was one of them), but you have to wonder if something is really off when you are unable to see mention of a food in print without it triggering you. How do you live in a such a world? Food is mentioned everywhere. You would have to stop watching television, reading, or otherwise engaging with the world to avoid this. I would be wary of being part of a group where one has to walk on so many eggshells just to have a conversation.

Mimi

I wonder, if you're having computer problems and it has something to do with "cookies," would that trigger a binge? But that's neither here nor there.

[Guest guest]

Ellie, I loved your post. After having seen people post warnings, "I'm talking about weight loss, for those for whom this is a trigger! I binged, don't read if this is a trigger!" and having seen bloggers get called out for "triggering" certain eating behaviors because the bloggers chose to have a frank discussion of their own problems, it's made me think a lot lately about where we draw the line between being respectful of other's problems and personal responsibility.I'm torn between the thought that I should be sensitive of other people's very real struggles with eating disorders and the thought that they should take responsibility for their own actions and not blame someone else for "triggering" them. On the one hand, I know people want a forum where they feel safe; on the other

hand, why can't I discuss weight loss and IE since that's MY struggle. Trying to protect the other person from themselves may well end up stifling you and your own needs.Some "food" for thought...Sara