Re: nightmare after X'mas

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

that really IS a nightmare. you poor thing.

I truly have no advice. I just want you to know I know how you feel.

I don't like it when my mother comes over for 2 hours much less two freaking

MONTHS.

You are not a bad daughter

You are not a bad wife

It was ok for you to go apeshit on your mother's boyfriend

It's a huge imposition on you and your family and it really sucks.

Your mother sounds so much like mine, it's scary.

>

> It's not thaaat bad. Hopefully will not be worst than this.

>

> Day 1) Nada arrived on the X'mas day.

> She was OK, had a nice trip and didn't complain of things as I thought before.

> Thanks God my forecast of her state of mind arrival was a mistake.

> Her " boyfriend " (a married old man which whom she has a relationship for more

> than 20 years!)

> went to the airport too and we all had coffee together. He left to his home.

> Nada, my husband and me cooked at home. Quiet nice evening.

>

> Day 2) Spent all day shopping and cooking at home. Quiet pleasant day

> but I needed to " swallow " some of her strange behaviours.

> I get very irritated with most of things she does or say.

> Nada learned to open/close the apartment and use the microwave today.

> It's very difficult for her to learn anything new. It's necessary lots of

> pacience to explain her things

> and this also makes me very tired to be with her too.

>

> Day 3) Went to work with my husband. Nada stayed at home alone for the 1st

time

> since arrival.

> Her boyfriend called while I was working to say he's going to visit her at my

> home.

> First I said OK, then later I told him to forget today because Nada doesn't

know

> how to open the entrance door

> from the interphone painel inside the apartment. There's a gate that he can't

go

> in without a key or someone to open from inside.

> Every little thing is a such big thing to her to learn that I forgot to

explain

> about the interphone on the day before.

> He started to say how she doesn't know a such simple thing and bla bla bla, I

> was busy at that moment, he was inconvenient

> calling me while I'm working then I lost my temper with him over the phone.

> I told him to not go there 'cause I didn't want he sneaking in the blg. when

> someone else enter the apartment and

> didn't want my mother yelling to him from inside the apartment if she finds

> problem to open the door (it's a bit trick).

> I got pretty irritated after talk to him and this feeling folllow me all day

> long.

> I came back home and found out that he went there and the gas system was

> switched off so Nada didn't have shower because

> no hot water. She said she didn't do anything and that he might have switched

> off the system. Later on I discovered she lied to me.

> Nada does another thing very that irritates me too: she can't see a

> single little light of any device on that she finds a way to

> switch off the light to save energy. And explain her that those small lights

> doesn't consume much and somethings need to be switched on ALL the time like

the

> gas system = doesn't work...she doen't understand.

>

> Thinking only about it, it's not a reason to blow up but... I did. I flipped

> out. I never saw my husband almost crying to stop me.

> I started screamming at her, ordering her to not touch things she doesn't know

> in my house, that I hate her " boyfriend " , that I spent my time I should be

> working doing things for her, then she started to pack her things to leave.

> A 75y/o with 1 big and 1 small suitcases leaving in a winter night (almost

> midnight) and didn't want even to take her coat.

> I called a nearby hotel and booked a room, she refused to go.

> I told her I would call the police to bring her back if she leaves like that

and

> she started to loose her temper.

> Both of us was flipping out and calming down in random in a matter of minutes

> and I just feel very sorry for my dear husband for see and deal with all of

it.

> He told me to leave the room to calm down her so I had a shower where I cried

a

> lot.

> Nada still wanted to leave my apartment anyway saying I was kicking out a sick

> and old mother + same bla bla bla in these occasions.

> I got tired and just stopped to talk to her, she moved all her things out of

the

> apartment and in the entrance she wanted to handle back the apartment key but

> she coudn't find. She stayed an hour or so looking for the key, my husband

said

> " you can't leave our apartment without give back the key, so better you have

> some sleep and look for it tomorrow " .

> She calmed down, I show her how to use her new pre paid mobile.

> I told her if she wanted a sleeping pill as I would take 1 for myself, she

> wanted, I gave half of 1 to her and everybody went to sleep.

> After my husband told me he took out the key without her notice because he was

> worried she would do something crazy and could loose our spare key with the

> address written in another paper.(the key wasn't together the paper but...)

> This morning we wake up to work, I left earlier than my husband, he returned

our

> spare key to her bag and left her sleeping.

> I called many times her mobile that she just learned how to use but she didn't

> pick up. I don't if she didn't listen or if she forgots how to use or if she

did

> something crazy and I'm just writting during my working time when in fact I

> should be working instead of being worried and tired of all of this.Plus, who

> knows what I will face when I go back tonight?

> And...I've been worried about her but...am I crazy too ?? Now I'm worried

about

> myself and my poor husband.

> I'm a shame to let my husband see me so out of control, I hate to loose

control

> of things but, recently, small things gets my nerves!

> I work with other 3 people (1 boss too young to have alzheimer but sounds like

> this , 1 nutty and only 1 " normal " and kind sweet heart)

> so after a stressfull day, I have my husband to soothing me but now I have

Nada

> to top on it.

> How can I get more patience now?

> What do you think about of this? any suggestions?

> Thank you to read all of this ...

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