Guest guest Posted December 26, 2011 Report Share Posted December 26, 2011 my goodness...I saw the recent Xmas photos that my cousin took and I could not recognize myself. How did I let myself go? I just gained so so much weight since mid November and I REALLY look like one of those ladies who are depressed and they just gained weight and look horrible and sad and huge and not even standing up, chin down, shoulder to the center of my chest, so down..awful.Unrecognizable! what happened? well, I had a baby in July and this weight that I carry now is not baby fat. The father of the baby is pretty much absent. I had my mom with me and the baby for the first 2 months and 1/ 2 and she she left and I was left alone with the baby, I crashed and in 10 days I moved abroad to stay with my parents. Now I am dealing with the abrupt decision I made and I miss California.I can't stand where I am living. Here is the family situation: I am ok with my mom but I can't tolerate my dad.I never had a relationship withy him as he was pretty much absent due to work abroad. When he was at home, he verbally and physically abused my mom. My mom knows he cheated and has a son or daughter or even both.I can't even tolerate his smell. Now that he is 79 he looks like 90, can barely walk, eczema on his face, missing teeth, horrible smell as he does not shower daily and besides even if he does, I just can't tolerate his smell. My brother is HUGE and I hate the fact that he never took care of himself. He lives 10 minutes away from my parents and visits daily and I don't see him as a role model for my son. My mom is ok.Not sure why she decided to out up with this crap from my dad. As for extended family, I was shocked to hear that my closet aunt is married to someone who has became verbally and physically abusive and he is cheating as well. I just feel like RUNNING from all this but I moved here so that my son could be near family. I have nobody in California but now it feels like nobody is better than this mess I do have a therapist and I am not sure if it is cultural or what but he didnt seem to take my issues as seriously as my therapist in California would. I have another session with him this week. I just hate to see myself going to food again after 6 years of regaining myself and of being free from issues. yes, 12 years in California helped me a lot sorry that I needed to vent and that this became so long I am tirn between staying or going back to Ca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2011 Report Share Posted December 26, 2011 Whoa! What a truck load you are carrying within you! Which is the biggest issue for you at this instant - food/eating or family/independence? I'm totally not one who can help you in the new baby department (Abby?), but I grit my teeth for you when it comes to putting up with a horrible 'family' environment. I dealt with that quagmire before I took up IE and am so glad to have that behind me. In fact a lot of what I learned via dysfunctional relationships ended up being of use to me with IE. Before you abandon your current living situation, I do hope that you can, with a clear head, lay out as good an 'exit' plan as you can put together. California may have been a fabulous place for you before, but what is the reality of it at this moment for you? Will you be able to arrive and have enough to get going on too? And are you able to focus on YOUR needs without dragging along worry about your mom? Wishing you all the best in finding and obtaining a better situation for yourself as well as peaceful resumption of your IE practicing. Katcha IEing Since March 2007 > > my goodness...I saw the recent Xmas photos that my cousin took and I could not recognize myself. How did I let myself go? I just gained so so much weight since mid November and I REALLY look like one of those ladies who are depressed and they just gained weight and look horrible and sad and huge and not even standing up, chin down, shoulder to the center of my chest, so down..awful.Unrecognizable! > what happened? > well, I had a baby in July and this weight that I carry now is not baby fat. > The father of the baby is pretty much absent. I had my mom with me and the baby for the first 2 months and 1/ 2 and she she left and I was left alone with the baby, I crashed and in 10 days I moved abroad to stay with my parents. > Now I am dealing with the abrupt decision I made and I miss California.I can't stand where I am living. > Here is the family situation: > I am ok with my mom but I can't tolerate my dad.I never had a relationship withy him as he was pretty much absent due to work abroad. When he was at home, he verbally and physically abused my mom. My mom knows he cheated and has a son or daughter or even both.I can't even tolerate his smell. Now that he is 79 he looks like 90, can barely walk, eczema on his face, missing teeth, horrible smell as he does not shower daily and besides even if he does, I just can't tolerate his smell. > My brother is HUGE and I hate the fact that he never took care of himself. He lives 10 minutes away from my parents and visits daily and I don't see him as a role model for my son. > My mom is ok.Not sure why she decided to out up with this crap from my dad. > As for extended family, I was shocked to hear that my closet aunt is married to someone who has became verbally and physically abusive and he is cheating as well. > I just feel like RUNNING from all this > but I moved here so that my son could be near family. > I have nobody in California > but now it feels like nobody is better than this mess > > I do have a therapist and I am not sure if it is cultural or what but he didnt seem to take my issues as seriously as my therapist in California would. > > I have another session with him this week. > I just hate to see myself going to food again after 6 years of regaining myself and of being free from issues. yes, 12 years in California helped me a lot > > sorry that I needed to vent and that this became so long > > I am tirn between staying or going back to Ca > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2011 Report Share Posted December 26, 2011 Whoa! What a truck load you are carrying within you! Which is the biggest issue for you at this instant - food/eating or family/independence? I'm totally not one who can help you in the new baby department (Abby?), but I grit my teeth for you when it comes to putting up with a horrible 'family' environment. I dealt with that quagmire before I took up IE and am so glad to have that behind me. In fact a lot of what I learned via dysfunctional relationships ended up being of use to me with IE. Before you abandon your current living situation, I do hope that you can, with a clear head, lay out as good an 'exit' plan as you can put together. California may have been a fabulous place for you before, but what is the reality of it at this moment for you? Will you be able to arrive and have enough to get going on too? And are you able to focus on YOUR needs without dragging along worry about your mom? Wishing you all the best in finding and obtaining a better situation for yourself as well as peaceful resumption of your IE practicing. Katcha IEing Since March 2007 > > my goodness...I saw the recent Xmas photos that my cousin took and I could not recognize myself. How did I let myself go? I just gained so so much weight since mid November and I REALLY look like one of those ladies who are depressed and they just gained weight and look horrible and sad and huge and not even standing up, chin down, shoulder to the center of my chest, so down..awful.Unrecognizable! > what happened? > well, I had a baby in July and this weight that I carry now is not baby fat. > The father of the baby is pretty much absent. I had my mom with me and the baby for the first 2 months and 1/ 2 and she she left and I was left alone with the baby, I crashed and in 10 days I moved abroad to stay with my parents. > Now I am dealing with the abrupt decision I made and I miss California.I can't stand where I am living. > Here is the family situation: > I am ok with my mom but I can't tolerate my dad.I never had a relationship withy him as he was pretty much absent due to work abroad. When he was at home, he verbally and physically abused my mom. My mom knows he cheated and has a son or daughter or even both.I can't even tolerate his smell. Now that he is 79 he looks like 90, can barely walk, eczema on his face, missing teeth, horrible smell as he does not shower daily and besides even if he does, I just can't tolerate his smell. > My brother is HUGE and I hate the fact that he never took care of himself. He lives 10 minutes away from my parents and visits daily and I don't see him as a role model for my son. > My mom is ok.Not sure why she decided to out up with this crap from my dad. > As for extended family, I was shocked to hear that my closet aunt is married to someone who has became verbally and physically abusive and he is cheating as well. > I just feel like RUNNING from all this > but I moved here so that my son could be near family. > I have nobody in California > but now it feels like nobody is better than this mess > > I do have a therapist and I am not sure if it is cultural or what but he didnt seem to take my issues as seriously as my therapist in California would. > > I have another session with him this week. > I just hate to see myself going to food again after 6 years of regaining myself and of being free from issues. yes, 12 years in California helped me a lot > > sorry that I needed to vent and that this became so long > > I am tirn between staying or going back to Ca > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.