Re: christmas dinner

[Guest guest]

Sandarah,

It is so amazing how our experience does benefit others. You helped me so much

with your post. This morning I was in a pity party and in a food hangover. I

just felt horrible, fat, and frustrated.

I know it was triggered by seeing photos of myself from earlier this year and

how terrible I looked. I comforted myself by saying through ie I did gain, but I

know it will get better.

Reading your post made me see some positive things that are happening. Like how

I was able to not finish my plate, or mindlessly eat appetizers. Or, how I tried

a couple cookies but did not like them and left them on the plate normally, I

would have ate it for fear of what someone would say to me or out of old tapes

telling me I have to finish it, its " bad " or " wrong " to leave it there.

I also ate beyond my fullness, but did not beat myself up about it. I came home

in a food coma Nd passed out.

Today I am to meet a friend who is in from la, and I dont want to go out of fear

of her seeing how much weight I gained. I also realised that I get this smug

satisfaction out of people saying " did you lose weight? " Or " wow, you are thin! "

It makes me feel good. Like I have accomplished something; I am important; when,

it only lasts for a bit, I gain weight, then the shame n guilt return. I do

admit to not being comfortBle with my size, but I know starving myself and

dieting is not the answer. I know that devloping a loving relationship with my

body is key.

The women here who have that are what give me hope. being an ie-er is what I

want, and it wont happen overnight. I know it works.

Thank you for your post. Thank you to ie book and this group

" The greatest discovery of any generation is that human beings can alter their

lives by altering the attitudes of their minds. " Albert Schweitzer