Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 Hi, Welcome to the Group. You'll find a bunch of people here who " get it. " You'll read other member's posts and see amazing similarities to your own situation; I've read posts about incidents and behaviors from other members about their bpd mothers that I could have written myself. There's something very validating about finding that its not just you, that others suffered as children (and are still suffering as adults) trying to manage having a relationship with an abusive pd parent or choosing to go No Contact with a pd parent. Its both a relief and its sad to find that bpd (and personality disorder in general) is a genuine mental illness, and that we didn't cause our parent to be mentally ill, and we can't cure them. It is comforting to have companions to share our thoughts and feelings and opinions with, on our individual roads to peace and healing. -Annie > > Hi all! I'm new and have never joined a support group for KO BPD's before. Growing up, i always new that something was wrong with my nada but i finally had a name for it 4 years ago while in therapy. WHat a relief--she always told me I was the one who was crazy and needed to get help. It was after having a horrible panic attack followed by crippling depression that i finally went to therapy to find out why i couldn't ever please my nada or be " enough " for her. I have been in therapy now for 4 years and it has given me a whole new life. After many years and attempts at trying to have my mom " somewhat " be a part of my life with boundaries---i have decided to go NC with her and have been for 3 years now. I have read almost every book on the market about BPD's and am pretty well versed in my nada's condition, i'm on here to find support for KO BPD's like me:) It gets hard when i'm with my friends and even my hubby, who has a great, healthy family system, to not feel lonely and misunderstood. I have detached from my nada but holidays and birthdays are tough. Currently, i'm in the process of healing from trauma ( i was physically, emotionally and verbally abused by her) and i have bad anxiety and some depression at times. Does anyone else struggle with these and can you recommend a good book for me on the subject of healing from trauma. Thanks so much---looking forward to connecting with my others like me:) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 Hi, Welcome to the Group. You'll find a bunch of people here who " get it. " You'll read other member's posts and see amazing similarities to your own situation; I've read posts about incidents and behaviors from other members about their bpd mothers that I could have written myself. There's something very validating about finding that its not just you, that others suffered as children (and are still suffering as adults) trying to manage having a relationship with an abusive pd parent or choosing to go No Contact with a pd parent. Its both a relief and its sad to find that bpd (and personality disorder in general) is a genuine mental illness, and that we didn't cause our parent to be mentally ill, and we can't cure them. It is comforting to have companions to share our thoughts and feelings and opinions with, on our individual roads to peace and healing. -Annie > > Hi all! I'm new and have never joined a support group for KO BPD's before. Growing up, i always new that something was wrong with my nada but i finally had a name for it 4 years ago while in therapy. WHat a relief--she always told me I was the one who was crazy and needed to get help. It was after having a horrible panic attack followed by crippling depression that i finally went to therapy to find out why i couldn't ever please my nada or be " enough " for her. I have been in therapy now for 4 years and it has given me a whole new life. After many years and attempts at trying to have my mom " somewhat " be a part of my life with boundaries---i have decided to go NC with her and have been for 3 years now. I have read almost every book on the market about BPD's and am pretty well versed in my nada's condition, i'm on here to find support for KO BPD's like me:) It gets hard when i'm with my friends and even my hubby, who has a great, healthy family system, to not feel lonely and misunderstood. I have detached from my nada but holidays and birthdays are tough. Currently, i'm in the process of healing from trauma ( i was physically, emotionally and verbally abused by her) and i have bad anxiety and some depression at times. Does anyone else struggle with these and can you recommend a good book for me on the subject of healing from trauma. Thanks so much---looking forward to connecting with my others like me:) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 Hi, I'm sorry you (and we!) need this group, but welcome to you. It's true, I also felt like something was really really wrong. God, I'm so glad it wasn't that I was crazy or something! So glad you're breaking free and finding yourself. I do struggle with anxiety, depression, fear (big time). I'm seeing a therapist and that has helped heaps. I've also lowered my contact with my mother and that's been very very helpful. Books I recommend " Understanding the Borderline Mother " , don't remember author name " Boundaries, " Cloud/Townsend Take good care, Fiona > > Hi all! I'm new and have never joined a support group for KO BPD's before. Growing up, i always new that something was wrong with my nada but i finally had a name for it 4 years ago while in therapy. WHat a relief--she always told me I was the one who was crazy and needed to get help. It was after having a horrible panic attack followed by crippling depression that i finally went to therapy to find out why i couldn't ever please my nada or be " enough " for her. I have been in therapy now for 4 years and it has given me a whole new life. After many years and attempts at trying to have my mom " somewhat " be a part of my life with boundaries---i have decided to go NC with her and have been for 3 years now. I have read almost every book on the market about BPD's and am pretty well versed in my nada's condition, i'm on here to find support for KO BPD's like me:) It gets hard when i'm with my friends and even my hubby, who has a great, healthy family system, to not feel lonely and misunderstood. I have detached from my nada but holidays and birthdays are tough. Currently, i'm in the process of healing from trauma ( i was physically, emotionally and verbally abused by her) and i have bad anxiety and some depression at times. Does anyone else struggle with these and can you recommend a good book for me on the subject of healing from trauma. Thanks so much---looking forward to connecting with my others like me:) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 Welcome. You will find many here who have been on the same journey that you are making. You are not alone. Anxiety, depression? It s sort of like biscuits with our tea: part of the package. yea, many do struggle with one or both. I m still fighting depression, though I seem to be gaining ground. Re book suggestion https://mcgeepublishing.com/store/node/8 The above link is to the book, Breaking the Cycle of Hurtful Family Experiences. We learn about much of life from our first and primary role models - our parents, who are imperfect persons. They model beliefs and behaviors they learned from their own imperfect parents. And on and on the cycle goes. Sometimes those ideas about life, ourselves, others, and God are faulty, and we and our relationships suffer. What's more, we continue this faulty and sometimes damaging cycle for future generations. Breaking the Cycle of Hurtful Family Experiences helps you identify these harmful patterns in order to experience healthy relationships with others. You may find this a helpful book. Again, welcome Doug .. Currently, i'm in the process of healing from trauma ( i was physically, emotionally and verbally abused by her) and i have bad anxiety and some depression at times. Does anyone else struggle with these and can you recommend a good book for me on the subject of healing from trauma. Thanks so much---looking forward to connecting with my others like me:) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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