Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask at the high school or post at the library. _____ From: alcojo94 Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:39 PM To: Listen-Up Subject: Letting go.. I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good gain from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a cul- de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can be pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I let ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself. He cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even then he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of things until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not letting him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant I be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I know I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with . Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my heart to see him so upset with me J Bangor WA mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright restrictions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask at the high school or post at the library. _____ From: alcojo94 Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:39 PM To: Listen-Up Subject: Letting go.. I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good gain from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a cul- de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can be pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I let ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself. He cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even then he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of things until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not letting him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant I be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I know I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with . Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my heart to see him so upset with me J Bangor WA mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright restrictions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask at the high school or post at the library. _____ From: alcojo94 Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:39 PM To: Listen-Up Subject: Letting go.. I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good gain from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a cul- de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can be pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I let ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself. He cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even then he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of things until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not letting him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant I be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I know I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with . Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my heart to see him so upset with me J Bangor WA mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright restrictions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted to ride on our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is allowed to leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county roads) where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is happy with me about this, but they truly understand the limitations. We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and everywhere around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those boys are hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear them yelling " car " when one is coming. It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so many levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides with our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10 mile loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has earned more freedom on the bike. We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the kids. You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid. And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version: " That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a great job. " We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you. You'll loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's shown you he is capable. Best -- Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted to ride on our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is allowed to leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county roads) where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is happy with me about this, but they truly understand the limitations. We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and everywhere around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those boys are hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear them yelling " car " when one is coming. It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so many levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides with our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10 mile loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has earned more freedom on the bike. We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the kids. You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid. And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version: " That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a great job. " We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you. You'll loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's shown you he is capable. Best -- Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted to ride on our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is allowed to leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county roads) where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is happy with me about this, but they truly understand the limitations. We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and everywhere around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those boys are hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear them yelling " car " when one is coming. It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so many levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides with our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10 mile loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has earned more freedom on the bike. We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the kids. You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid. And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version: " That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a great job. " We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you. You'll loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's shown you he is capable. Best -- Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 In a message dated 8/13/2004 7:17:52 AM Eastern Daylight Time, Diane.Giordano@... writes: How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask at the high school or post at the library. Diane, What a wonderful idea ... like a hearing big brother kind of thing. I know that for some classes in our high school the kids have to do some community service and that would fall right into that catagory. The kid would not be paid, but would get credit in class. Even paying for it would work, kind of a babystting thing where no one is going out for a movie. Great idea! Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 In a message dated 8/13/2004 7:17:52 AM Eastern Daylight Time, Diane.Giordano@... writes: How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask at the high school or post at the library. Diane, What a wonderful idea ... like a hearing big brother kind of thing. I know that for some classes in our high school the kids have to do some community service and that would fall right into that catagory. The kid would not be paid, but would get credit in class. Even paying for it would work, kind of a babystting thing where no one is going out for a movie. Great idea! Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 In a message dated 8/13/2004 7:17:52 AM Eastern Daylight Time, Diane.Giordano@... writes: How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask at the high school or post at the library. Diane, What a wonderful idea ... like a hearing big brother kind of thing. I know that for some classes in our high school the kids have to do some community service and that would fall right into that catagory. The kid would not be paid, but would get credit in class. Even paying for it would work, kind of a babystting thing where no one is going out for a movie. Great idea! Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 In a message dated 8/13/2004 11:03:49 AM Eastern Daylight Time, debbaugher@... writes: Along that lines, maybe a local boy scout would be willing to ride with your son. They always seem to be looking for ways to do some service to the community & he could perhaps become a buddy too for your son. Debby Our son is a scout, (he just became a Life Scout this past spring). One of his troop's requirements is that he must perform a certain number of community service hours each year. I don't know if most troops are like that but ours focuses on community service quite a bit. If is a scout this could be even easier. I know that part of the philosophy has older boys working with the younger boys. There is even a troop position called the " guide " whose job it is to work with the younger scouts and to help them with anything and everything from setting up their tents to learning to serve coffee at out troop's regular community service project. Might be worth a phone call. If you were closer, I'm sure our Ian would be interested in mentoring a younger boy. Best -- Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 In a message dated 8/13/2004 11:03:49 AM Eastern Daylight Time, debbaugher@... writes: Along that lines, maybe a local boy scout would be willing to ride with your son. They always seem to be looking for ways to do some service to the community & he could perhaps become a buddy too for your son. Debby Our son is a scout, (he just became a Life Scout this past spring). One of his troop's requirements is that he must perform a certain number of community service hours each year. I don't know if most troops are like that but ours focuses on community service quite a bit. If is a scout this could be even easier. I know that part of the philosophy has older boys working with the younger boys. There is even a troop position called the " guide " whose job it is to work with the younger scouts and to help them with anything and everything from setting up their tents to learning to serve coffee at out troop's regular community service project. Might be worth a phone call. If you were closer, I'm sure our Ian would be interested in mentoring a younger boy. Best -- Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 In a message dated 8/13/2004 11:03:49 AM Eastern Daylight Time, debbaugher@... writes: Along that lines, maybe a local boy scout would be willing to ride with your son. They always seem to be looking for ways to do some service to the community & he could perhaps become a buddy too for your son. Debby Our son is a scout, (he just became a Life Scout this past spring). One of his troop's requirements is that he must perform a certain number of community service hours each year. I don't know if most troops are like that but ours focuses on community service quite a bit. If is a scout this could be even easier. I know that part of the philosophy has older boys working with the younger boys. There is even a troop position called the " guide " whose job it is to work with the younger scouts and to help them with anything and everything from setting up their tents to learning to serve coffee at out troop's regular community service project. Might be worth a phone call. If you were closer, I'm sure our Ian would be interested in mentoring a younger boy. Best -- Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 Amy, In my note perhaps I should have explained that we don't have blocks, and we don't have any sidewalks except right in town or in certain neigborhoods. It is very rural in many ways. Our neighbors are NY State (several hundred acres of protected land) and 18 acres of horse paddocks. Once you get off our road, in either direction, you're on a two-lane highway. I think we all find a balance that takes into consideration our kids and the environment they are interacting with. Each solution is custom made. My kids have asked me why we didn't buy a house in a neighborhood. There are planned neighborhoods around here. Places with blocks and sidewalks and lots more kids. My answer is that when we bought the house, we didn't plan on having kids and we chose a beautiful and quiet corner of the world. They were the surprises, but the house was planned. (grin) Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 Along that lines, maybe a local boy scout would be willing to ride with your son. They always seem to be looking for ways to do some service to the community & he could perhaps become a buddy too for your son. Debby > How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask > at the high school or post at the library. > > > > _____ > > From: alcojo94 [mailto:alcojo94@y...] > Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:39 PM > To: Listen-Up > Subject: Letting go.. > > > > I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural > loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good gain > from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a cul- > de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs > off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can be > pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I let > ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been > asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt > have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself. He > cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even then > he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of things > until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not letting > him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant I > be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I know > I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride > alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my > husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care > of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with . > > Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my > heart to see him so upset with me > > J > Bangor WA > mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma > , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality > ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors > > > > All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each > post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to > copyright restrictions. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 Along that lines, maybe a local boy scout would be willing to ride with your son. They always seem to be looking for ways to do some service to the community & he could perhaps become a buddy too for your son. Debby > How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask > at the high school or post at the library. > > > > _____ > > From: alcojo94 [mailto:alcojo94@y...] > Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:39 PM > To: Listen-Up > Subject: Letting go.. > > > > I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural > loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good gain > from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a cul- > de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs > off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can be > pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I let > ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been > asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt > have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself. He > cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even then > he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of things > until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not letting > him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant I > be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I know > I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride > alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my > husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care > of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with . > > Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my > heart to see him so upset with me > > J > Bangor WA > mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma > , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality > ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors > > > > All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each > post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to > copyright restrictions. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 Along that lines, maybe a local boy scout would be willing to ride with your son. They always seem to be looking for ways to do some service to the community & he could perhaps become a buddy too for your son. Debby > How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask > at the high school or post at the library. > > > > _____ > > From: alcojo94 [mailto:alcojo94@y...] > Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:39 PM > To: Listen-Up > Subject: Letting go.. > > > > I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural > loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good gain > from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a cul- > de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs > off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can be > pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I let > ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been > asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt > have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself. He > cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even then > he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of things > until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not letting > him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant I > be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I know > I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride > alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my > husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care > of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with . > > Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my > heart to see him so upset with me > > J > Bangor WA > mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma > , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality > ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors > > > > All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each > post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to > copyright restrictions. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 Do you have a " deaf child " sign nearby? This wouldn't solve the problem but might make some drivers aware, just in case. I don't know if the military has it's own rules about this, or not. Just a suggestion. H. Letting go.. I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good gain from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a cul- de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can be pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I let ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself. He cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even then he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of things until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not letting him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant I be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I know I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with . Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my heart to see him so upset with me J Bangor WA mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright restrictions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 Do you have a " deaf child " sign nearby? This wouldn't solve the problem but might make some drivers aware, just in case. I don't know if the military has it's own rules about this, or not. Just a suggestion. H. Letting go.. I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good gain from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a cul- de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can be pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I let ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself. He cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even then he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of things until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not letting him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant I be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I know I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with . Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my heart to see him so upset with me J Bangor WA mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright restrictions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 We recently faced this dilemma ourselves. Tommy is 12 - he's going into middle school this year (6th grade). He was enrolled in two camps this summer that were fairly close to each other so he could easily ride his bike from one to the other. We " rehearsed " - I would ride my bike to camp #1, get him and his bike, then we'd ride to camp #2. It worked well, actually because a friend also was in the two camps so they would ride together. I talked with the friend about staying beside or behind Tom to be his ears for him. We've also gotten a rearview mirror for Tom's bike so that helps - plus when Tom and I rehearsed, we mapped out a route through neighborhoods without a lot of traffic. He will ask from time to time to be allowed to ride downtown by himself (NO!) because there's too much traffic. Barbara ******************************* Barbara Mellert Manager, Social Science Computing Kiewit Computing Services Dartmouth College 13A Silsby Hall; HB 6121 Hanover NH 03755 Telephone: 603/646-2877 URL: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ssc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 We recently faced this dilemma ourselves. Tommy is 12 - he's going into middle school this year (6th grade). He was enrolled in two camps this summer that were fairly close to each other so he could easily ride his bike from one to the other. We " rehearsed " - I would ride my bike to camp #1, get him and his bike, then we'd ride to camp #2. It worked well, actually because a friend also was in the two camps so they would ride together. I talked with the friend about staying beside or behind Tom to be his ears for him. We've also gotten a rearview mirror for Tom's bike so that helps - plus when Tom and I rehearsed, we mapped out a route through neighborhoods without a lot of traffic. He will ask from time to time to be allowed to ride downtown by himself (NO!) because there's too much traffic. Barbara ******************************* Barbara Mellert Manager, Social Science Computing Kiewit Computing Services Dartmouth College 13A Silsby Hall; HB 6121 Hanover NH 03755 Telephone: 603/646-2877 URL: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ssc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 Another take on this subject. My daughter - profoundly deaf - has always been careful about cars especially since she knows she cannot hear them. It would have devastated her to not be allowed to do what her hearing friends do. I have allowed her to go to her friends house - around two blocks away since she was around 10 years old. She would have hated to have to have someone go with her. Maybe every child is different - this would have made and would make my daughter now 14 an extremely unhappy person and less confident which would have repercussions in school and socially. Anyway, just my opinion which seems to be different than some of the others.... Amy <tt> My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted to ride on <BR> our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is allowed to <BR> leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county roads) <BR> where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is happy with me <BR> about this, but they truly understand the limitations. <BR> <BR> We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and everywhere <BR> around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those boys are <BR> hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have <BR> proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear them <BR> yelling " car " when one is coming. <BR> <BR> It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is <BR> doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with <BR> the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is <BR> overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so many <BR> levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides with <BR> our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10 mile <BR> loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind <BR> them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has <BR> earned more freedom on the bike.<BR> <BR> We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time <BR> is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the kids.<BR> <BR> You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just <BR> say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in <BR> the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid. <BR> And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply <BR> have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version: <BR> " That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you <BR> home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a great job. " <BR> <BR> We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It <BR> would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY <BR> children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you. You'll <BR> loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's shown <BR> you he is capable. <BR> <BR> Best -- Jill <BR> <BR> <BR> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 Another take on this subject. My daughter - profoundly deaf - has always been careful about cars especially since she knows she cannot hear them. It would have devastated her to not be allowed to do what her hearing friends do. I have allowed her to go to her friends house - around two blocks away since she was around 10 years old. She would have hated to have to have someone go with her. Maybe every child is different - this would have made and would make my daughter now 14 an extremely unhappy person and less confident which would have repercussions in school and socially. Anyway, just my opinion which seems to be different than some of the others.... Amy <tt> My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted to ride on <BR> our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is allowed to <BR> leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county roads) <BR> where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is happy with me <BR> about this, but they truly understand the limitations. <BR> <BR> We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and everywhere <BR> around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those boys are <BR> hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have <BR> proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear them <BR> yelling " car " when one is coming. <BR> <BR> It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is <BR> doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with <BR> the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is <BR> overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so many <BR> levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides with <BR> our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10 mile <BR> loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind <BR> them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has <BR> earned more freedom on the bike.<BR> <BR> We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time <BR> is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the kids.<BR> <BR> You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just <BR> say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in <BR> the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid. <BR> And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply <BR> have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version: <BR> " That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you <BR> home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a great job. " <BR> <BR> We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It <BR> would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY <BR> children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you. You'll <BR> loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's shown <BR> you he is capable. <BR> <BR> Best -- Jill <BR> <BR> <BR> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 Another take on this subject. My daughter - profoundly deaf - has always been careful about cars especially since she knows she cannot hear them. It would have devastated her to not be allowed to do what her hearing friends do. I have allowed her to go to her friends house - around two blocks away since she was around 10 years old. She would have hated to have to have someone go with her. Maybe every child is different - this would have made and would make my daughter now 14 an extremely unhappy person and less confident which would have repercussions in school and socially. Anyway, just my opinion which seems to be different than some of the others.... Amy <tt> My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted to ride on <BR> our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is allowed to <BR> leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county roads) <BR> where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is happy with me <BR> about this, but they truly understand the limitations. <BR> <BR> We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and everywhere <BR> around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those boys are <BR> hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have <BR> proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear them <BR> yelling " car " when one is coming. <BR> <BR> It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is <BR> doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with <BR> the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is <BR> overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so many <BR> levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides with <BR> our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10 mile <BR> loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind <BR> them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has <BR> earned more freedom on the bike.<BR> <BR> We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time <BR> is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the kids.<BR> <BR> You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just <BR> say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in <BR> the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid. <BR> And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply <BR> have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version: <BR> " That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you <BR> home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a great job. " <BR> <BR> We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It <BR> would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY <BR> children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you. You'll <BR> loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's shown <BR> you he is capable. <BR> <BR> Best -- Jill <BR> <BR> <BR> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 I think in a case like this where he is old enough to understand but not necessarily like it, you should explain to him that you trust him completely to be comfortable, but there are so many situations where people aren't paying attention like drunk drivers, like you said the 16 year old who just got his license and is out for the first time, or how about that 16 year old who just got his license who has been at a party drinking, or the tired adult driving home from work or really anyone who is just not paying attention. You take that risk every time you get in the car but add a kid on a bike without the protection of a car that can't hear the car comming and it is so much more scary. I think if you haven't already if you explain to him that in no way is it him that you don't trust but the others and that he doesn't have any warning with his lack of hearing and that scares you, because you don't want anything to happen to him. My son is 6 and I have a hard time letting him play out in front of our appartment with the windows open and standing within ear shot. I know he won't go in the street, but I'm worried he will fall and break his head or something, he has spina bifida, and all sorts of other problems. Anyway I just thought I would say how important I think talking to them about why they have the restrictions would be a good idea and help ease the frustrations a little. Re: Letting go.. My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted to ride on our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is allowed to leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county roads) where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is happy with me about this, but they truly understand the limitations. We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and everywhere around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those boys are hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear them yelling " car " when one is coming. It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so many levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides with our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10 mile loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has earned more freedom on the bike. We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the kids. You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid. And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version: " That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a great job. " We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you. You'll loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's shown you he is capable. Best -- Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 I think in a case like this where he is old enough to understand but not necessarily like it, you should explain to him that you trust him completely to be comfortable, but there are so many situations where people aren't paying attention like drunk drivers, like you said the 16 year old who just got his license and is out for the first time, or how about that 16 year old who just got his license who has been at a party drinking, or the tired adult driving home from work or really anyone who is just not paying attention. You take that risk every time you get in the car but add a kid on a bike without the protection of a car that can't hear the car comming and it is so much more scary. I think if you haven't already if you explain to him that in no way is it him that you don't trust but the others and that he doesn't have any warning with his lack of hearing and that scares you, because you don't want anything to happen to him. My son is 6 and I have a hard time letting him play out in front of our appartment with the windows open and standing within ear shot. I know he won't go in the street, but I'm worried he will fall and break his head or something, he has spina bifida, and all sorts of other problems. Anyway I just thought I would say how important I think talking to them about why they have the restrictions would be a good idea and help ease the frustrations a little. Re: Letting go.. My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted to ride on our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is allowed to leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county roads) where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is happy with me about this, but they truly understand the limitations. We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and everywhere around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those boys are hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear them yelling " car " when one is coming. It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so many levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides with our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10 mile loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has earned more freedom on the bike. We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the kids. You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid. And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version: " That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a great job. " We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you. You'll loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's shown you he is capable. Best -- Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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