Guest guest Posted January 28, 2011 Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 <<<Hugs Girlscout>>> It's sad that it's less about connection for our nadas and more about how they look, how they'll be perceived. I can't believe she admitted she loved your brothers more than you. Sigh. That's shameful. I'm so sorry for all this pain. I'm glad you're here with us. > > So, I know that I'm blessed that my nada wrote me off as soon as I stopped > trying to have a relationship with her. I know she never liked me. Never > loved me either. She didn't enjoy my personality or my company. > > But it still breaks my heart that when I stopped talking to her she didn't > even try to speak to me. She didn't call. She didn't stop by. She didn't ask > why. She didn't send me an e-mail. She didn't leave me a message. She didn't > stalk me on Facebook. She didn't come by my work, call my office or send me > a certified letter. > > She sent sent 2 or three cards. They said horrible things inside couched in > terms of " missing me, " writing only a sentance or two. Like you must be mad > because I always loved your brotherssss so much more than I ever loved you. > I don't even remember what they all said, except for that one, and I threw > them away. She also sent money. > > But she didn't try to find me. I didn't change my number. She knows where I > live. I haven't kept where I work a secret. I'm not hard to find - I'm in > the newspaper on a regular basis. I havne't changed my name though I have to > admit, I think about doing so almost every day. I love my name, but I don't > like sharing it with her. > > What she did do is bitch. I wasn't providing narcissitic supply (I think > maybe never did to her satisfaction, due at least in part to my gender - she > only wanted narc supply from men and boys), and so she looked immediately > for other sources. She played the victim and bitched to everyone and anyone > who would listen about her daughter being so cold hearted she would turn her > back on her own m-o-o-o-o-ther, as Annie would say. > > My T even said that she could hear her doing it - playing the victim card to > anyone who would listen- and my T has never met her. > > She has bitched so much that the new sister in law who I have never met has > sent me hate mail about how I make her sick and what a rotten daughter I am. > > But a phone call from my mother? An email? Asking the legitimate question > " did I do something to hurt you? " Never happened. I'll be 8 years NC with > Nada this spring. I just past 2 years NC with dad at Christmas. > > I did see her a handful of times at family gatherings during those 8 years > that my dad asked me to go to. Then I decided I never wanted to see her > again and I had to go NC with my dad too because he wouldn't let it go. I > honestly think it was more important to him that I see her than it was to > her. The few times that I saw her she would try to hug me, try to talk to me > kind of, grasp to little comments I made and try to insert herself and > remind me that I'm her daughter, it made me ill. I think she was on her > " best behavior, " and was kind of acting like a kid who got caught being > bad. She didn't say " I'm sorry, " no eye contact (that was my boundry), no > direct conversation (anotehr of my boundaries), and she did touch me many > times, which made my skin crawl. You can see why I said no more courtesy > visits. > > All I can say is " Ouch. " > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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