Re: Hey -- how about running away?

[Guest guest]

I can relate. My little Sister did try to run away, twice, when she was about 6

and again at about 9. I was too much of a scaredy-cat to actually run away, but

instead when I was very little (3?) I deliberately hid inside my grandmother's

house and didn't come when I was called, hoping that my mom would just leave

without me. No such luck. I later learned that Nada had called the police but

she and grandma found me before the police arrived (I had fallen asleep while

hiding) and of course I got severely punished for it.

As an older child, like you I realized that there was truly no place for me to

run *to*; even if I did somehow manage to make it to an aunt's or uncle's home

(the closest relative lived 40 miles away) they'd just send me back and things

would probably get worse for me. I'd be punished for making mom look bad. My

mom/nada was able to keep her abuse very covert.

Plus I was made to believe that how my mom treated me was my fault, I made her

so angry all the time because I was a bad, stupid, ungrateful child and I

deserved to be yelled at and called bad names and slapped around. Or even

beaten with the belt sometimes. My fault, so just live with it.

-Annie

>

> I have had a very busy week dealing with a sick pet chicken, so I haven't been

here a lot. Or watching tv--caught up on some last night.

>

> I watch Parenthood--for some reason the family dynamics really hit home. I

love how the characters can really argue with each other--all at the same time.

Nothing was allowed like that in my house. Everyone was afraid of upsetting

nada--no one spoke their mind but her.

>

> Anyway, one of the teen characters is very unhappy with her parents and

decided to run away (to the loving grandma). I got to thinking about why I never

chose to run away. Then I wondered what the rest of you KOs had to say about

your feeling/experiences.

>

> Here are mine:

>

> 1) Every time I felt like running away, a great sense of " I can't do that to

my family, look what we are already dealing with " would pop in my mind. My

father and I lived their under siege, I was not going to make it worse for fada.

>

> 2) I felt if I did run away, there was no one/place to run to. No one in the

family would believe me and there were no friends.

>

> In the end, I just 'did my time' until I could get the hell out of her house.

>

[Guest guest]

Same here. I felt like running away multiple times, but I remembered reading

somewhere about how runaways never have their plan laid out, don't have

money, etc--and I didn't want to be lumped together with that type, being

seen as " overreacting " to fada's anger.

I did have somewhat of a plan--my family was about 4 blocks from our parish,

and I knew where the front door to the rectory was and where the doorbell

was, and I imagined trying to run to Fr Joe, who was a nice priest, and tell

him everything that my fada does to the family, how I was scared, can he

help make dad not so angry? (kid thinking--a bit nieve I guess, making fada

all better).

But I never did for a couple of reasons, though I was sorely sorely tempted.

A) Fada would hear me open the front door or the garage door to run away,

and he's taller than me and would probably run faster than me, and I didn't

want to see the anger after getting caught. Even if I did manage to make

it to the rectory before Fada caught up, would Fr Joe or the other priests

be home and let me in to help me? C) Even if Fr Joe or other priests did let

me in and I had time to tell them everything I was afraid of, the anger of

Fada, would they believe me? It wasn't physical, I had no bruises, so how

could they believe me? D) If they did believe me and contact CPS, I had no

trust in them because of what Fada would coach us--when we started

homeschooling he was afraid of false allegations of abuse and told us what

to say and not to trust them, and if they asked questions, have them ask

fada instead.

I didn't know that all mandated reporters, including priests, have to take

what a child or teenager alleges seriously, and contact CPS. If I had known

that, and if I had more trust in CPS, I might have run away.

The biggest thing that held me back, though, was all my little siblings. I

knew I couldn't live with myself if I left them behind.

As it is, I still had to leave them behind, though it's something enforced

by fada and nada, and not of my own decision...and I still feel guilt.

so yes, I relate.

Holly

On Sun, Jan 30, 2011 at 2:52 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> I can relate. My little Sister did try to run away, twice, when she was

> about 6 and again at about 9. I was too much of a scaredy-cat to actually

> run away, but instead when I was very little (3?) I deliberately hid inside

> my grandmother's house and didn't come when I was called, hoping that my mom

> would just leave without me. No such luck. I later learned that Nada had

> called the police but she and grandma found me before the police arrived (I

> had fallen asleep while hiding) and of course I got severely punished for

> it.

>

> As an older child, like you I realized that there was truly no place for me

> to run *to*; even if I did somehow manage to make it to an aunt's or uncle's

> home (the closest relative lived 40 miles away) they'd just send me back and

> things would probably get worse for me. I'd be punished for making mom look

> bad. My mom/nada was able to keep her abuse very covert.

>

> Plus I was made to believe that how my mom treated me was my fault, I made

> her so angry all the time because I was a bad, stupid, ungrateful child and

> I deserved to be yelled at and called bad names and slapped around. Or even

> beaten with the belt sometimes. My fault, so just live with it.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > I have had a very busy week dealing with a sick pet chicken, so I haven't

> been here a lot. Or watching tv--caught up on some last night.

> >

> > I watch Parenthood--for some reason the family dynamics really hit home.

> I love how the characters can really argue with each other--all at the same

> time. Nothing was allowed like that in my house. Everyone was afraid of

> upsetting nada--no one spoke their mind but her.

> >

> > Anyway, one of the teen characters is very unhappy with her parents and

> decided to run away (to the loving grandma). I got to thinking about why I

> never chose to run away. Then I wondered what the rest of you KOs had to say

> about your feeling/experiences.

> >

> > Here are mine:

> >

> > 1) Every time I felt like running away, a great sense of " I can't do that

> to my family, look what we are already dealing with " would pop in my mind.

> My father and I lived their under siege, I was not going to make it worse

> for fada.

> >

> > 2) I felt if I did run away, there was no one/place to run to. No one in

> the family would believe me and there were no friends.

> >

> > In the end, I just 'did my time' until I could get the hell out of her

> house.

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Same here. I felt like running away multiple times, but I remembered reading

somewhere about how runaways never have their plan laid out, don't have

money, etc--and I didn't want to be lumped together with that type, being

seen as " overreacting " to fada's anger.

I did have somewhat of a plan--my family was about 4 blocks from our parish,

and I knew where the front door to the rectory was and where the doorbell

was, and I imagined trying to run to Fr Joe, who was a nice priest, and tell

him everything that my fada does to the family, how I was scared, can he

help make dad not so angry? (kid thinking--a bit nieve I guess, making fada

all better).

But I never did for a couple of reasons, though I was sorely sorely tempted.

A) Fada would hear me open the front door or the garage door to run away,

and he's taller than me and would probably run faster than me, and I didn't

want to see the anger after getting caught. Even if I did manage to make

it to the rectory before Fada caught up, would Fr Joe or the other priests

be home and let me in to help me? C) Even if Fr Joe or other priests did let

me in and I had time to tell them everything I was afraid of, the anger of

Fada, would they believe me? It wasn't physical, I had no bruises, so how

could they believe me? D) If they did believe me and contact CPS, I had no

trust in them because of what Fada would coach us--when we started

homeschooling he was afraid of false allegations of abuse and told us what

to say and not to trust them, and if they asked questions, have them ask

fada instead.

I didn't know that all mandated reporters, including priests, have to take

what a child or teenager alleges seriously, and contact CPS. If I had known

that, and if I had more trust in CPS, I might have run away.

The biggest thing that held me back, though, was all my little siblings. I

knew I couldn't live with myself if I left them behind.

As it is, I still had to leave them behind, though it's something enforced

by fada and nada, and not of my own decision...and I still feel guilt.

so yes, I relate.

Holly

On Sun, Jan 30, 2011 at 2:52 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> I can relate. My little Sister did try to run away, twice, when she was

> about 6 and again at about 9. I was too much of a scaredy-cat to actually

> run away, but instead when I was very little (3?) I deliberately hid inside

> my grandmother's house and didn't come when I was called, hoping that my mom

> would just leave without me. No such luck. I later learned that Nada had

> called the police but she and grandma found me before the police arrived (I

> had fallen asleep while hiding) and of course I got severely punished for

> it.

>

> As an older child, like you I realized that there was truly no place for me

> to run *to*; even if I did somehow manage to make it to an aunt's or uncle's

> home (the closest relative lived 40 miles away) they'd just send me back and

> things would probably get worse for me. I'd be punished for making mom look

> bad. My mom/nada was able to keep her abuse very covert.

>

> Plus I was made to believe that how my mom treated me was my fault, I made

> her so angry all the time because I was a bad, stupid, ungrateful child and

> I deserved to be yelled at and called bad names and slapped around. Or even

> beaten with the belt sometimes. My fault, so just live with it.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > I have had a very busy week dealing with a sick pet chicken, so I haven't

> been here a lot. Or watching tv--caught up on some last night.

> >

> > I watch Parenthood--for some reason the family dynamics really hit home.

> I love how the characters can really argue with each other--all at the same

> time. Nothing was allowed like that in my house. Everyone was afraid of

> upsetting nada--no one spoke their mind but her.

> >

> > Anyway, one of the teen characters is very unhappy with her parents and

> decided to run away (to the loving grandma). I got to thinking about why I

> never chose to run away. Then I wondered what the rest of you KOs had to say

> about your feeling/experiences.

> >

> > Here are mine:

> >

> > 1) Every time I felt like running away, a great sense of " I can't do that

> to my family, look what we are already dealing with " would pop in my mind.

> My father and I lived their under siege, I was not going to make it worse

> for fada.

> >

> > 2) I felt if I did run away, there was no one/place to run to. No one in

> the family would believe me and there were no friends.

> >

> > In the end, I just 'did my time' until I could get the hell out of her

> house.

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Same here. I felt like running away multiple times, but I remembered reading

somewhere about how runaways never have their plan laid out, don't have

money, etc--and I didn't want to be lumped together with that type, being

seen as " overreacting " to fada's anger.

I did have somewhat of a plan--my family was about 4 blocks from our parish,

and I knew where the front door to the rectory was and where the doorbell

was, and I imagined trying to run to Fr Joe, who was a nice priest, and tell

him everything that my fada does to the family, how I was scared, can he

help make dad not so angry? (kid thinking--a bit nieve I guess, making fada

all better).

But I never did for a couple of reasons, though I was sorely sorely tempted.

A) Fada would hear me open the front door or the garage door to run away,

and he's taller than me and would probably run faster than me, and I didn't

want to see the anger after getting caught. Even if I did manage to make

it to the rectory before Fada caught up, would Fr Joe or the other priests

be home and let me in to help me? C) Even if Fr Joe or other priests did let

me in and I had time to tell them everything I was afraid of, the anger of

Fada, would they believe me? It wasn't physical, I had no bruises, so how

could they believe me? D) If they did believe me and contact CPS, I had no

trust in them because of what Fada would coach us--when we started

homeschooling he was afraid of false allegations of abuse and told us what

to say and not to trust them, and if they asked questions, have them ask

fada instead.

I didn't know that all mandated reporters, including priests, have to take

what a child or teenager alleges seriously, and contact CPS. If I had known

that, and if I had more trust in CPS, I might have run away.

The biggest thing that held me back, though, was all my little siblings. I

knew I couldn't live with myself if I left them behind.

As it is, I still had to leave them behind, though it's something enforced

by fada and nada, and not of my own decision...and I still feel guilt.

so yes, I relate.

Holly

On Sun, Jan 30, 2011 at 2:52 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> I can relate. My little Sister did try to run away, twice, when she was

> about 6 and again at about 9. I was too much of a scaredy-cat to actually

> run away, but instead when I was very little (3?) I deliberately hid inside

> my grandmother's house and didn't come when I was called, hoping that my mom

> would just leave without me. No such luck. I later learned that Nada had

> called the police but she and grandma found me before the police arrived (I

> had fallen asleep while hiding) and of course I got severely punished for

> it.

>

> As an older child, like you I realized that there was truly no place for me

> to run *to*; even if I did somehow manage to make it to an aunt's or uncle's

> home (the closest relative lived 40 miles away) they'd just send me back and

> things would probably get worse for me. I'd be punished for making mom look

> bad. My mom/nada was able to keep her abuse very covert.

>

> Plus I was made to believe that how my mom treated me was my fault, I made

> her so angry all the time because I was a bad, stupid, ungrateful child and

> I deserved to be yelled at and called bad names and slapped around. Or even

> beaten with the belt sometimes. My fault, so just live with it.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > I have had a very busy week dealing with a sick pet chicken, so I haven't

> been here a lot. Or watching tv--caught up on some last night.

> >

> > I watch Parenthood--for some reason the family dynamics really hit home.

> I love how the characters can really argue with each other--all at the same

> time. Nothing was allowed like that in my house. Everyone was afraid of

> upsetting nada--no one spoke their mind but her.

> >

> > Anyway, one of the teen characters is very unhappy with her parents and

> decided to run away (to the loving grandma). I got to thinking about why I

> never chose to run away. Then I wondered what the rest of you KOs had to say

> about your feeling/experiences.

> >

> > Here are mine:

> >

> > 1) Every time I felt like running away, a great sense of " I can't do that

> to my family, look what we are already dealing with " would pop in my mind.

> My father and I lived their under siege, I was not going to make it worse

> for fada.

> >

> > 2) I felt if I did run away, there was no one/place to run to. No one in

> the family would believe me and there were no friends.

> >

> > In the end, I just 'did my time' until I could get the hell out of her

> house.

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes,I wanted to run away many times.By the time I was a teenager I figured that

nobody would believe me,that I had a legitimate reason to want to run away from

my " nice middle class " home and that I'd be laughed at and sent back.There was a

shelter for runaways in the nearest big city but I was sure I'd be told if I

went there to stop being so ridiculous and to go home.

Nada had told me all of my life that I wasn't her " real daughter " so many

of my running away dreams were based on finding my " real " mother.When I was

eleven I concocted a plan to gather discarded " Bazooka " gum wrappers to make

enough money to go out to LA and get myself hired to be on some tv show in the

hopes that once my " real " mother saw me on tv,she'd come forward to claim me.I

spent hours collecting discarded " Bazooka " gum wrappers because if you had so

many of one type you could send them away to the company and receive a small

toy: my plan was to send away for lots of little free toys and then sell them at

a mark up to other kids at a price that was less than what they'd have to pay

for something similar at the corner store.I figured it would take me a year to

collect and sell enough of these toys to afford a bus ticket out to LA.

I had a huge bag of these discarded wrappers in my bedroom closet

arranged by type,kept together in bunches with paper clips--but nada found the

bag and threw it out.Probably a good thing because if I'd managed to make enough

money for a bus ticket I would have done it and god knows what might have

happened to me.

The Spring I was sixteen my " parents " threw me out of the house,mostly

just to frighten me and apparently thinking I'd come crawling back begging for

forgiveness once I'd had a taste of the " real world " .Instead I spent a couple of

months going from friend's house to friend's house---with all of their parents

counseling me to just go home and make up with Mommy and Daddy.

" Promise me you'll go home " ,they said when I left...like hell...I just

went to another friend's for a few nights,until their parents said the same

thing...then I stayed with gay men I had met in my wanderings in the city and

thank god for them because otherwise I would have been prey,young and alone out

on the streets...but even with them,there was a limit to how long I could crash

with them and *nobody* offered any guidance or wanted to really get involved

with my " situation " ...all of this time I continued to attend school while

experiencing aggravation from the head master who kept sanctioning me for

sparking off a mini revolt at the school among the staff and the students and

who banned me outright from the school grounds later in the Spring...it was

pretty surreal because most of the students knew I was effectively " homeless "

but they thought it was like an adventure and I was like this rebel who could

handle it...I was also having an affair with one of the female teachers who

didn't want to get " caught " with jailbait so she never offered to shelter me in

any kind of meaningful way,which was a slap in the face for me...one of the days

the headmaster refused to let me into the school and I felt like my back was

just to the wall I took the subway to my grandmother's house to ask her if I

could stay with her and she made me plead with her on her doorstep for something

like a half an hour until I was able to strike a deal with her because she kept

saying she'd " never have anyone " live with her: I offered to be her maid

basically and finally she accepted....so I lived with her through that late

Spring and summer,at her beck and call and it sucked but it was preferable to

having to go from place to place to place and worrying that I'd have to hide in

some doorway for the night and having to constantly depend on the " kindness of

strangers " ...During this time I decided to make plans to go abroad and moved

back in with nada and fada but only because that made it easier for me to work a

part time job and at the end of the next summer I got on a plane and left for

real

>

> I have had a very busy week dealing with a sick pet chicken, so I haven't been

here a lot. Or watching tv--caught up on some last night.

>

> I watch Parenthood--for some reason the family dynamics really hit home. I

love how the characters can really argue with each other--all at the same time.

Nothing was allowed like that in my house. Everyone was afraid of upsetting

nada--no one spoke their mind but her.

>

> Anyway, one of the teen characters is very unhappy with her parents and

decided to run away (to the loving grandma). I got to thinking about why I never

chose to run away. Then I wondered what the rest of you KOs had to say about

your feeling/experiences.

>

> Here are mine:

>

> 1) Every time I felt like running away, a great sense of " I can't do that to

my family, look what we are already dealing with " would pop in my mind. My

father and I lived their under siege, I was not going to make it worse for fada.

>

> 2) I felt if I did run away, there was no one/place to run to. No one in the

family would believe me and there were no friends.

>

> In the end, I just 'did my time' until I could get the hell out of her house.

>

[Guest guest]

- I'm not sure you wouldn't have been better off on the street

than in that house. Lordy!! I'm so sorry.

>

>

> Same here. I didn't know it wasn't normal. I did try to leave once for the

> night. I just wanted to go to my friend's house and be in a safe place. But

> nada had her sister and grandnada there with her to help her gang up on me

> and keep me from going anywhere.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

- I'm not sure you wouldn't have been better off on the street

than in that house. Lordy!! I'm so sorry.

>

>

> Same here. I didn't know it wasn't normal. I did try to leave once for the

> night. I just wanted to go to my friend's house and be in a safe place. But

> nada had her sister and grandnada there with her to help her gang up on me

> and keep me from going anywhere.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

- I'm not sure you wouldn't have been better off on the street

than in that house. Lordy!! I'm so sorry.

>

>

> Same here. I didn't know it wasn't normal. I did try to leave once for the

> night. I just wanted to go to my friend's house and be in a safe place. But

> nada had her sister and grandnada there with her to help her gang up on me

> and keep me from going anywhere.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am completely blown away by how much actual planning you put into the wrapper

idea--the whole thought process actually. Brilliant! Alas, foiled by nada,

again.

What's more amazing is you survived the harrowing experience of being underage

and on the streets. I don't know many who would have been as creative as you

were in finding shelter.

> >

> > I have had a very busy week dealing with a sick pet chicken, so I haven't

been here a lot. Or watching tv--caught up on some last night.

> >

> > I watch Parenthood--for some reason the family dynamics really hit home. I

love how the characters can really argue with each other--all at the same time.

Nothing was allowed like that in my house. Everyone was afraid of upsetting

nada--no one spoke their mind but her.

> >

> > Anyway, one of the teen characters is very unhappy with her parents and

decided to run away (to the loving grandma). I got to thinking about why I never

chose to run away. Then I wondered what the rest of you KOs had to say about

your feeling/experiences.

> >

> > Here are mine:

> >

> > 1) Every time I felt like running away, a great sense of " I can't do that to

my family, look what we are already dealing with " would pop in my mind. My

father and I lived their under siege, I was not going to make it worse for fada.

> >

> > 2) I felt if I did run away, there was no one/place to run to. No one in the

family would believe me and there were no friends.

> >

> > In the end, I just 'did my time' until I could get the hell out of her

house.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I am completely blown away by how much actual planning you put into the wrapper

idea--the whole thought process actually. Brilliant! Alas, foiled by nada,

again.

What's more amazing is you survived the harrowing experience of being underage

and on the streets. I don't know many who would have been as creative as you

were in finding shelter.

> >

> > I have had a very busy week dealing with a sick pet chicken, so I haven't

been here a lot. Or watching tv--caught up on some last night.

> >

> > I watch Parenthood--for some reason the family dynamics really hit home. I

love how the characters can really argue with each other--all at the same time.

Nothing was allowed like that in my house. Everyone was afraid of upsetting

nada--no one spoke their mind but her.

> >

> > Anyway, one of the teen characters is very unhappy with her parents and

decided to run away (to the loving grandma). I got to thinking about why I never

chose to run away. Then I wondered what the rest of you KOs had to say about

your feeling/experiences.

> >

> > Here are mine:

> >

> > 1) Every time I felt like running away, a great sense of " I can't do that to

my family, look what we are already dealing with " would pop in my mind. My

father and I lived their under siege, I was not going to make it worse for fada.

> >

> > 2) I felt if I did run away, there was no one/place to run to. No one in the

family would believe me and there were no friends.

> >

> > In the end, I just 'did my time' until I could get the hell out of her

house.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I am completely blown away by how much actual planning you put into the wrapper

idea--the whole thought process actually. Brilliant! Alas, foiled by nada,

again.

What's more amazing is you survived the harrowing experience of being underage

and on the streets. I don't know many who would have been as creative as you

were in finding shelter.

> >

> > I have had a very busy week dealing with a sick pet chicken, so I haven't

been here a lot. Or watching tv--caught up on some last night.

> >

> > I watch Parenthood--for some reason the family dynamics really hit home. I

love how the characters can really argue with each other--all at the same time.

Nothing was allowed like that in my house. Everyone was afraid of upsetting

nada--no one spoke their mind but her.

> >

> > Anyway, one of the teen characters is very unhappy with her parents and

decided to run away (to the loving grandma). I got to thinking about why I never

chose to run away. Then I wondered what the rest of you KOs had to say about

your feeling/experiences.

> >

> > Here are mine:

> >

> > 1) Every time I felt like running away, a great sense of " I can't do that to

my family, look what we are already dealing with " would pop in my mind. My

father and I lived their under siege, I was not going to make it worse for fada.

> >

> > 2) I felt if I did run away, there was no one/place to run to. No one in the

family would believe me and there were no friends.

> >

> > In the end, I just 'did my time' until I could get the hell out of her

house.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I just knew this was going to be a fascinating topic. For the most part, botched

plans to run away was just another way our nadas made us feel powerless.

I honestly don't know who is stronger, the KOs who fight their nada's at every

turn while still at home or the ones who suffer mostly in silence, just dreaming

for the day they can finally get away.

>

> Same here. I didn't know it wasn't normal. I did try to leave once for the

night. I just wanted to go to my friend's house and be in a safe place. But nada

had her sister and grandnada there with her to help her gang up on me and keep

me from going anywhere.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I just knew this was going to be a fascinating topic. For the most part, botched

plans to run away was just another way our nadas made us feel powerless.

I honestly don't know who is stronger, the KOs who fight their nada's at every

turn while still at home or the ones who suffer mostly in silence, just dreaming

for the day they can finally get away.

>

> Same here. I didn't know it wasn't normal. I did try to leave once for the

night. I just wanted to go to my friend's house and be in a safe place. But nada

had her sister and grandnada there with her to help her gang up on me and keep

me from going anywhere.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I just knew this was going to be a fascinating topic. For the most part, botched

plans to run away was just another way our nadas made us feel powerless.

I honestly don't know who is stronger, the KOs who fight their nada's at every

turn while still at home or the ones who suffer mostly in silence, just dreaming

for the day they can finally get away.

>

> Same here. I didn't know it wasn't normal. I did try to leave once for the

night. I just wanted to go to my friend's house and be in a safe place. But nada

had her sister and grandnada there with her to help her gang up on me and keep

me from going anywhere.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

When I was in college, my best friend and I wanted to get an apartment together

for that last year of community college.  Both my dad and stepmom made me feel

like I was so stupid and couldn't make it on my own.  They kept telling me that

I didn't make enough money, and that I would end up having to pay all the

bills

because my best friend wouldn't pay her share.  That wasn't true, but by the

time they were done, I felt so completely stupid and incapable of doing anything

without them to help me.  I finally got out the next year when my ex asked me

to

marry him.  That's a whole other story though!

Janet

 

 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own

understanding.

 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

Proverbs 3:5-8

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Mon, January 31, 2011 11:54:18 AM

Subject: Re: Hey -- how about running away?

 

I just knew this was going to be a fascinating topic. For the most part, botched

plans to run away was just another way our nadas made us feel powerless.

I honestly don't know who is stronger, the KOs who fight their nada's at every

turn while still at home or the ones who suffer mostly in silence, just dreaming

for the day they can finally get away.

>

> Same here. I didn't know it wasn't normal. I did try to leave once for the

>night. I just wanted to go to my friend's house and be in a safe place. But

nada

>had her sister and grandnada there with her to help her gang up on me and keep

>me from going anywhere.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

When I was in college, my best friend and I wanted to get an apartment together

for that last year of community college.  Both my dad and stepmom made me feel

like I was so stupid and couldn't make it on my own.  They kept telling me that

I didn't make enough money, and that I would end up having to pay all the

bills

because my best friend wouldn't pay her share.  That wasn't true, but by the

time they were done, I felt so completely stupid and incapable of doing anything

without them to help me.  I finally got out the next year when my ex asked me

to

marry him.  That's a whole other story though!

Janet

 

 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own

understanding.

 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

Proverbs 3:5-8

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Mon, January 31, 2011 11:54:18 AM

Subject: Re: Hey -- how about running away?

 

I just knew this was going to be a fascinating topic. For the most part, botched

plans to run away was just another way our nadas made us feel powerless.

I honestly don't know who is stronger, the KOs who fight their nada's at every

turn while still at home or the ones who suffer mostly in silence, just dreaming

for the day they can finally get away.

>

> Same here. I didn't know it wasn't normal. I did try to leave once for the

>night. I just wanted to go to my friend's house and be in a safe place. But

nada

>had her sister and grandnada there with her to help her gang up on me and keep

>me from going anywhere.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

When I was in college, my best friend and I wanted to get an apartment together

for that last year of community college.  Both my dad and stepmom made me feel

like I was so stupid and couldn't make it on my own.  They kept telling me that

I didn't make enough money, and that I would end up having to pay all the

bills

because my best friend wouldn't pay her share.  That wasn't true, but by the

time they were done, I felt so completely stupid and incapable of doing anything

without them to help me.  I finally got out the next year when my ex asked me

to

marry him.  That's a whole other story though!

Janet

 

 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own

understanding.

 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

Proverbs 3:5-8

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Mon, January 31, 2011 11:54:18 AM

Subject: Re: Hey -- how about running away?

 

I just knew this was going to be a fascinating topic. For the most part, botched

plans to run away was just another way our nadas made us feel powerless.

I honestly don't know who is stronger, the KOs who fight their nada's at every

turn while still at home or the ones who suffer mostly in silence, just dreaming

for the day they can finally get away.

>

> Same here. I didn't know it wasn't normal. I did try to leave once for the

>night. I just wanted to go to my friend's house and be in a safe place. But

nada

>had her sister and grandnada there with her to help her gang up on me and keep

>me from going anywhere.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I didn't know my situation with nada was abnormal. I enjoyed spending time

at friends' houses and even at my dad's house... but I don't know that I

ever considered running away. Like I said, I knew things weren't right... I

had that gut feeling. But I didn't know just how bad they were. I guess

she had me kind of brainwashed?

Eventually she was the one who would kick me out... then want me back...

then kick me out... rinse & repeat. I think with many BPD's having

abandonment issues, it gives them some sense of control if they are the ones

who make you leave. Same thing when I was moving in with my now ex-husband,

before we were married. I was simply packing a few boxes with stuff I

didn't need right away because ex & I had planned on me moving in about 3

weeks down the road. Next thing I know, they were moving my stuff out of my

room and I was told I was moving that day. Thank goodness my ex was

understanding... I was terrified he'd be PISSED!

I do remember being quite young... maybe 5 or 6... and telling my gandma I

was running away. I ended up packing up a small bag with toys & stuff and

fell asleep on her front porch after wandering the neighborhood for some

time. She thought it was " cute " .

Mia