for Amy Re: Henny Penny

[Guest guest]

I agree with Coalminersdotter. You make great points. We are all here for

reassurances. Amy's comments have caught us all off guard because we each

wonder if we are being too hard on our nadas (the FOG is rolling in.....) We

start chatting it up because we need to stay strong in our personal decisons

whatever they are for each of us, LC, NC whatever. I like how coalminer'sdotter

writes " I partly allow contact so my kids can have a grandma and partly to keep

from having the intense drama that NC would bring. " That is totally what is

happening to me right now. I was able to handle my nada on LC, but now that I

have gone NC, she has gone absolutely BALISTIC. It is bringing up memories of

the past and how she treated my father and others in her extended family when

she didn't get her own way. I was never the direct recipient of the rage until

now. The NC has literally driven her off the deep end altogether and it is

scaring the bejeepers out of me because I know the damage she is capable of

(letters, phone calls, calling relatives with lies, calling police, etc). I

don't know what each day will bring and I live in fear of her, I am afraid for

her to have my address, phone number, even though I live hundreds of miles away.

The solution would be to revert back to LC to resolve this drama, but now that

she has shown me what she is capable of with this emotional blackmail, I am even

more determined to protect myself and my kids from her. I always knew there

would come a day when I would be forced to go NC, and that when that day came,

it would not be pretty. It is exactly as I predicted. So yes, you are exactly

right, NC is its own personal hell and it has to be worth it and something you

are willing to stick with. Also, the guilt is a lot worse. When I was LC, each

conversation I had with her was like a little innoculation against guilt (oh

yeah, this is why I don't have a relationship with her). When I am NC, I

forget. My personal mental hell. I've had it since I was young enough to think,

the nightmares started around age four. That's when I realized she was a nada.

Too bad I couldn't go online back then and find a group like this one!!!!

> >>

> > I can sense that there are readers here who strongly disagree with the way I

have handled this...but it is really the only way I can see doing this right

now...unless she does something that is even slightly unacceptable.> Amy

> >

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