When Nada Learned to Text

[Guest guest]

3 weeks ago, one of my family members accidentally passed my phone number to

nada. I've not spoken to her in 3 years. Our last communications were me

calling and leaving her a message telling her happy birthday and I loved her 2

years ago. 3 months later, she had a friend call and tell me that she died of

starvation and frostbite in her car homeless in salt lake city. It was a hoax.

Scroll back 1 year prior, after a month of screaming and boundary trampling,

while she was screaming at me on the phone while I was at work for something I

had nothing to do with and after a morning of her calling me a stupid idiot to

my face at 4:30 a.m. for not believing her fantasy that the mexican party people

moved in next door in the middle of the night and took all my neighbor's things

and threatened her, I told her to get out and never come back, never contact me

unless she needed a ride to rehab.

Here it is, 3 years later, I have never tried to contact her through any medium,

mechanism or channel and these are nada's loving words - the truth twisting and

attempted button pushing is amazing:

" Putting a knife in your mothers back for the purpose of getting pitty is not

very mature nor does it guarantee love from others. What you did to me is

unforgivable. You truly are a (city of residence) c**t! Do not ever contact me

again.. You just stay with your c**t boyfriend! You'll never be mature enough to

know what ive done for your ungrateful dumb a** you uppity bi***. You need to

grow the f*** up! Leave me the f*** alone! You are my worst disappointment in

my whole life you hateful rotten bi*** and your giggalo whos trying to f*** your

daughter you dumb idiot bi***. How do you like me now! Leave me the hell alone

you cold hearted hateful bi***! You called the game now you deal with it! Grow

the f*** up you will never hurt me ever again you vindictive c***! That means

(exboyfriend's name)! He makes X and you make X, hello you idiot! When you

gave me ten bucks for gas he was afraid he wouldn't get his starbucks you blind

bi***. I'm so done with you!

Next Message:

You treated me like sh** when I love you so much now you can go to he** and your

uppity f'd attitiude. Go to he** bit**.

Next Message:

Oh by da way pity is NOT love pity is negative conotation you idiot! Grow the

f*** up!

Next Message:

Hope that word is not too big four you it mite b 4 me dugh!

Next Message:

You are so stupid you cu** see your boyfriend is trying to keep you away from

me. Gawd your stupid!

Next Message:

Wen r u going 2 wak up that (exboyfriend's name) is a perverted piece of sh**!

The things she's reacting to happened 3 years ago. She told me my exhusband was

molesting my 18 year old daughter, my 18 year old daughter didn't like him that

much and if he had ever even come remotely close, my daughter would have had his

butt in jail. He creeped her out. But my nada supposedly filed charges against

him. I really don't give a rat's patootie because he was BPD or NPD sick just

like her. I got him out right after her - regardless. I rescued her from death

in Montana. Her exboyfriend called me and said she was putting away a 2 litre

bottle of vodka a day and was headed for sure death. I spent all of my savings

to get her to my home where she would be safe. I did work with older adult

services before she came to help me take the right actions, set boundaries with

her due to alcoholism, etc. So, clearly told her she could stay with me for

only 30 days. She never looked for a place to live even though the state pays

her rent. She told me I was obligated to take care of her forever. I cringe

remembering that conversation.

It was such an insane time. it took 3 years to recover from her drama and 6

text messages later - the ones not posted were to my exboyfriend (who is my

exhusband -divorced 3 years ago). Even though I know her hateful words are

about her own self-loathing and being pissed off that I quit being the bank of

Jaie to fund her drinking, quit being her therapist, punching bag, manipulative

tool etc, when I saw these texts, I went into full PTSD-like

symptoms...uncontrollable shaking, fearful thoughts like my life was on the line

and crying thinking OMG! Its happening again. I quickly changed my phone

number and 3 weeks later, all is mostly well. I realize her words had nothing

to do with me but it hurts to see such words from your mother. I'm a mother and

my kids could call me every name in the book and never would I ever call them

names. I love them truly. I guess because I believe that about my own

children, it hurts to see a nada being so abusive. I sent her only one

response: I'm sorry I hurt you. I cannot have you in my life because you are

abusive and I'm tired of you hurting me and my children. This is the way it has

to be. I'm sorry.

It felt good to stand up for myself. It felt good to change my number knowing

she will never get it again (because no one in my family has it) and that I am

again safe from her harmful words. Nada will never seek treatment and sadly,

these hateful words just add to her misery. I hope someone is looking after

her. I can't do it any more.

I needed to vent. Now, it's time once again to move on knowing nothing she said

is anything but hurtful lies from a purely miserable soul. No contact is

sometimes required. Sad, but it is what it is.

Blessings to all.

J