What I've decided about the laundry

[Guest guest]

Fiance was going to pitch his BPD ex's bra in the trash.

One thing I've learned from reading books on BPD and from our therapist is

that you have to be consistant and firm with them, and clearly state your

boundaries. Then, follow through when the falter.

So she is getting the bra back. I'm going to ask him to clearly tell her

" It was too late when we caught it, but if any of your laundry gets mixed in

with the kids, from now on it will be set aside & returned unwashed " .

Fiance states this happened a few months ago & he just washed whatever it

was and sent it back.

I really don't feel like playing passive aggressive games with her. That is

just going to cause more problems. I feel strongly that this is a good

opportunity for him to reinforce his boundaries with her. Now, I can't make

him do it either.

So no, her bra will go back clean. It could have been an oversight or

something. But I am going to ask him to just calmly tell her the situation

and to follow through if it happens again in the future.

I hope he will do it.

Mia