Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 " tilley200 " wrote: > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. You have to be confident you will, because it will happen, but you shouldn't focus on it. You feel better, live better, and that's the important thing; returning to your normal weight is only a consequence. And remember we are animals: we need more fat in winter than in summer, so you might keep a few pounds that will then be dropped during summer, but the whole point is that you should not think about it! Don't look at yourself wishing to be thinner, because if you feel good, how you look is how you are supposed to look, how your body wants you to look. Good luck for everything, . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 " tilley200 " wrote: > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. You have to be confident you will, because it will happen, but you shouldn't focus on it. You feel better, live better, and that's the important thing; returning to your normal weight is only a consequence. And remember we are animals: we need more fat in winter than in summer, so you might keep a few pounds that will then be dropped during summer, but the whole point is that you should not think about it! Don't look at yourself wishing to be thinner, because if you feel good, how you look is how you are supposed to look, how your body wants you to look. Good luck for everything, . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Tilly, I may be at about the same point in this as you, because I could have written your post myself. I can say that I'm beginning to feel less shame about my body in that I'm now realizing that it isn't my fault, my weakness, my lack of will power, that has caused the excess weight. If that is true, then it follows that when my eating stops swinging from one end of the pendulum to the other, from binging to starving, and rests in the middle, it follows that my weight will also stop somewhere in the middle. For me personally, that will mean a loss. But I still don't feel good or healthy at this weight, and I don't want it on my body. I believe to some extent it has to be about weight. With the wieght I've gained since doing this (I'd also losst about 40 pounds right before) I can tell a difference in that it takes more effort to walk, go up stairs, my knees hurt more, my blood pressure which had gone down is up, I don't breathe as easily when sleeping. What I have to focus on is making healthy decisions rather than weight loss decisions. If I make healthy choices, then the weight loss will follow. For me personally, I know I still have to focus on getting those fruits and veggies, all the nutrients for the health of my body, but I can have play food in moderation if I crave them. I think we also have to use our brains, with the way food is in this society, that just because something is marketed as a " food " doesn't mean that it's nourishment for our bodies. I have to distinguish between nourishment and play food. I also find that when I'm eating right, and that includes enough fats and carbs, my cravings for junk food plummet. I don't know how this is going to work with intuitive eating, but I think it can. I just haven't gotten it all together yet. Sara > > I have had a really profound shift in the way I feel about food, after having legalized all sorts of things that were previously off-limits, but have, understandably still been gaining weight (I think, though since I no longer have a scale, I don't know for sure, and don't really want ever to have a number attached to me again), or at least not losing any. I really don't want to think about " losing weight " , and as soon as I get rid of this wretched cold, have a number of things I want to step up a little bit, in order to feel better and stronger. > > I've really enjoyed reading everyone's holiday posts, about overeating, but feeling okay (which I certainly did for Christmas dinner with my partner's huge, loving--and super-thin--family, but really not at any other time during this week of holiday events), and the things folks have been able to tell themselves....like " I am overweight because of ......, not because I am a bad person, " which has been so helpful to me. > > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. > > Tilley > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Tilly, I may be at about the same point in this as you, because I could have written your post myself. I can say that I'm beginning to feel less shame about my body in that I'm now realizing that it isn't my fault, my weakness, my lack of will power, that has caused the excess weight. If that is true, then it follows that when my eating stops swinging from one end of the pendulum to the other, from binging to starving, and rests in the middle, it follows that my weight will also stop somewhere in the middle. For me personally, that will mean a loss. But I still don't feel good or healthy at this weight, and I don't want it on my body. I believe to some extent it has to be about weight. With the wieght I've gained since doing this (I'd also losst about 40 pounds right before) I can tell a difference in that it takes more effort to walk, go up stairs, my knees hurt more, my blood pressure which had gone down is up, I don't breathe as easily when sleeping. What I have to focus on is making healthy decisions rather than weight loss decisions. If I make healthy choices, then the weight loss will follow. For me personally, I know I still have to focus on getting those fruits and veggies, all the nutrients for the health of my body, but I can have play food in moderation if I crave them. I think we also have to use our brains, with the way food is in this society, that just because something is marketed as a " food " doesn't mean that it's nourishment for our bodies. I have to distinguish between nourishment and play food. I also find that when I'm eating right, and that includes enough fats and carbs, my cravings for junk food plummet. I don't know how this is going to work with intuitive eating, but I think it can. I just haven't gotten it all together yet. Sara > > I have had a really profound shift in the way I feel about food, after having legalized all sorts of things that were previously off-limits, but have, understandably still been gaining weight (I think, though since I no longer have a scale, I don't know for sure, and don't really want ever to have a number attached to me again), or at least not losing any. I really don't want to think about " losing weight " , and as soon as I get rid of this wretched cold, have a number of things I want to step up a little bit, in order to feel better and stronger. > > I've really enjoyed reading everyone's holiday posts, about overeating, but feeling okay (which I certainly did for Christmas dinner with my partner's huge, loving--and super-thin--family, but really not at any other time during this week of holiday events), and the things folks have been able to tell themselves....like " I am overweight because of ......, not because I am a bad person, " which has been so helpful to me. > > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. > > Tilley > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Tilly, I may be at about the same point in this as you, because I could have written your post myself. I can say that I'm beginning to feel less shame about my body in that I'm now realizing that it isn't my fault, my weakness, my lack of will power, that has caused the excess weight. If that is true, then it follows that when my eating stops swinging from one end of the pendulum to the other, from binging to starving, and rests in the middle, it follows that my weight will also stop somewhere in the middle. For me personally, that will mean a loss. But I still don't feel good or healthy at this weight, and I don't want it on my body. I believe to some extent it has to be about weight. With the wieght I've gained since doing this (I'd also losst about 40 pounds right before) I can tell a difference in that it takes more effort to walk, go up stairs, my knees hurt more, my blood pressure which had gone down is up, I don't breathe as easily when sleeping. What I have to focus on is making healthy decisions rather than weight loss decisions. If I make healthy choices, then the weight loss will follow. For me personally, I know I still have to focus on getting those fruits and veggies, all the nutrients for the health of my body, but I can have play food in moderation if I crave them. I think we also have to use our brains, with the way food is in this society, that just because something is marketed as a " food " doesn't mean that it's nourishment for our bodies. I have to distinguish between nourishment and play food. I also find that when I'm eating right, and that includes enough fats and carbs, my cravings for junk food plummet. I don't know how this is going to work with intuitive eating, but I think it can. I just haven't gotten it all together yet. Sara > > I have had a really profound shift in the way I feel about food, after having legalized all sorts of things that were previously off-limits, but have, understandably still been gaining weight (I think, though since I no longer have a scale, I don't know for sure, and don't really want ever to have a number attached to me again), or at least not losing any. I really don't want to think about " losing weight " , and as soon as I get rid of this wretched cold, have a number of things I want to step up a little bit, in order to feel better and stronger. > > I've really enjoyed reading everyone's holiday posts, about overeating, but feeling okay (which I certainly did for Christmas dinner with my partner's huge, loving--and super-thin--family, but really not at any other time during this week of holiday events), and the things folks have been able to tell themselves....like " I am overweight because of ......, not because I am a bad person, " which has been so helpful to me. > > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. > > Tilley > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Tilley I want to congratulate you on all the work you have been doing here. It really seems to be paying off for you. Getting to where you know that a 'number' isn't YOU is a big achievement and will serve you well too. Your question about " But am I ever going to start losing weight? " is a valid (and 'normal') one. I asked myself that oodles of times the first year or so that I began my IE journey. I swear that I knew in my mind that I was so stubborn about doing whatever MY way that I seriously wondered if IE stood a chance with me. But I was also determined to HAVE IE so just plodded along, adopting whatever bits of suggestions from IE that I could accept as I went and miracle of miracles those finally sunk in! When I find that I am DOing an IE suggested practice, without consciously making myself, its like wow and isn't that neat :-) I also remind myself of how many many years I accepted diet type thinking and the rules of experts instead of utilizing and trusting what I always had. Dumping diet mentality is certainly not an overnight thing! So too will be releasing all the 'padding' we have protected ourselves with for so long as well. Ehugs to you and do keep on your wonderful IE path - Katcha' IEing since March 2007 > > I have had a really profound shift in the way I feel about food, after having legalized all sorts of things that were previously off-limits, but have, understandably still been gaining weight (I think, though since I no longer have a scale, I don't know for sure, and don't really want ever to have a number attached to me again), or at least not losing any. I really don't want to think about " losing weight " , and as soon as I get rid of this wretched cold, have a number of things I want to step up a little bit, in order to feel better and stronger. > > I've really enjoyed reading everyone's holiday posts, about overeating, but feeling okay (which I certainly did for Christmas dinner with my partner's huge, loving--and super-thin--family, but really not at any other time during this week of holiday events), and the things folks have been able to tell themselves....like " I am overweight because of ......, not because I am a bad person, " which has been so helpful to me. > > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. > > Tilley > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Tilley I want to congratulate you on all the work you have been doing here. It really seems to be paying off for you. Getting to where you know that a 'number' isn't YOU is a big achievement and will serve you well too. Your question about " But am I ever going to start losing weight? " is a valid (and 'normal') one. I asked myself that oodles of times the first year or so that I began my IE journey. I swear that I knew in my mind that I was so stubborn about doing whatever MY way that I seriously wondered if IE stood a chance with me. But I was also determined to HAVE IE so just plodded along, adopting whatever bits of suggestions from IE that I could accept as I went and miracle of miracles those finally sunk in! When I find that I am DOing an IE suggested practice, without consciously making myself, its like wow and isn't that neat :-) I also remind myself of how many many years I accepted diet type thinking and the rules of experts instead of utilizing and trusting what I always had. Dumping diet mentality is certainly not an overnight thing! So too will be releasing all the 'padding' we have protected ourselves with for so long as well. Ehugs to you and do keep on your wonderful IE path - Katcha' IEing since March 2007 > > I have had a really profound shift in the way I feel about food, after having legalized all sorts of things that were previously off-limits, but have, understandably still been gaining weight (I think, though since I no longer have a scale, I don't know for sure, and don't really want ever to have a number attached to me again), or at least not losing any. I really don't want to think about " losing weight " , and as soon as I get rid of this wretched cold, have a number of things I want to step up a little bit, in order to feel better and stronger. > > I've really enjoyed reading everyone's holiday posts, about overeating, but feeling okay (which I certainly did for Christmas dinner with my partner's huge, loving--and super-thin--family, but really not at any other time during this week of holiday events), and the things folks have been able to tell themselves....like " I am overweight because of ......, not because I am a bad person, " which has been so helpful to me. > > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. > > Tilley > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Tilley, I too wonder when and how the weight loss will occur? Will I have to " do " something? Will some psychic shift occur that I cannot now anticipate? Will food take on a much less important role in my life and all that diet rebel (inner child) stuff will totally subside? Will I become so in touch with my body that its needs always are honored above the thrall of something formerly forbidden? I can't imagine, but I surely do hope that one day the promise of achieving my body's normal weight will be a reality - and assume that my normal weight isn't one where it's a chore to roll over in bed at night. Ooof. Sandarah > > I have had a really profound shift in the way I feel about food, after having legalized all sorts of things that were previously off-limits, but have, understandably still been gaining weight (I think, though since I no longer have a scale, I don't know for sure, and don't really want ever to have a number attached to me again), or at least not losing any. I really don't want to think about " losing weight " , and as soon as I get rid of this wretched cold, have a number of things I want to step up a little bit, in order to feel better and stronger. > > I've really enjoyed reading everyone's holiday posts, about overeating, but feeling okay (which I certainly did for Christmas dinner with my partner's huge, loving--and super-thin--family, but really not at any other time during this week of holiday events), and the things folks have been able to tell themselves....like " I am overweight because of ......, not because I am a bad person, " which has been so helpful to me. > > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. > > Tilley > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Tilley, I too wonder when and how the weight loss will occur? Will I have to " do " something? Will some psychic shift occur that I cannot now anticipate? Will food take on a much less important role in my life and all that diet rebel (inner child) stuff will totally subside? Will I become so in touch with my body that its needs always are honored above the thrall of something formerly forbidden? I can't imagine, but I surely do hope that one day the promise of achieving my body's normal weight will be a reality - and assume that my normal weight isn't one where it's a chore to roll over in bed at night. Ooof. Sandarah > > I have had a really profound shift in the way I feel about food, after having legalized all sorts of things that were previously off-limits, but have, understandably still been gaining weight (I think, though since I no longer have a scale, I don't know for sure, and don't really want ever to have a number attached to me again), or at least not losing any. I really don't want to think about " losing weight " , and as soon as I get rid of this wretched cold, have a number of things I want to step up a little bit, in order to feel better and stronger. > > I've really enjoyed reading everyone's holiday posts, about overeating, but feeling okay (which I certainly did for Christmas dinner with my partner's huge, loving--and super-thin--family, but really not at any other time during this week of holiday events), and the things folks have been able to tell themselves....like " I am overweight because of ......, not because I am a bad person, " which has been so helpful to me. > > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. > > Tilley > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Tilley, I too wonder when and how the weight loss will occur? Will I have to " do " something? Will some psychic shift occur that I cannot now anticipate? Will food take on a much less important role in my life and all that diet rebel (inner child) stuff will totally subside? Will I become so in touch with my body that its needs always are honored above the thrall of something formerly forbidden? I can't imagine, but I surely do hope that one day the promise of achieving my body's normal weight will be a reality - and assume that my normal weight isn't one where it's a chore to roll over in bed at night. Ooof. Sandarah > > I have had a really profound shift in the way I feel about food, after having legalized all sorts of things that were previously off-limits, but have, understandably still been gaining weight (I think, though since I no longer have a scale, I don't know for sure, and don't really want ever to have a number attached to me again), or at least not losing any. I really don't want to think about " losing weight " , and as soon as I get rid of this wretched cold, have a number of things I want to step up a little bit, in order to feel better and stronger. > > I've really enjoyed reading everyone's holiday posts, about overeating, but feeling okay (which I certainly did for Christmas dinner with my partner's huge, loving--and super-thin--family, but really not at any other time during this week of holiday events), and the things folks have been able to tell themselves....like " I am overweight because of ......, not because I am a bad person, " which has been so helpful to me. > > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. > > Tilley > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Thanks! I know it's true that I shouldn't focus on getting thinner, and that really what I want is to feel better. I usually feel pretty good when I am wearing clothes that fit, and when I get enough exercise and eat foods that agree rather than disagree with me. I,be just been having min panic attacks at night because I have a cold, and it really is hard to breath. And I still haven't put ALL the clothes away that don't fit, so sometimes I'll pull something on that's too tight, and it feels awful. Tilley > > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. > > > You have to be confident you will, because it will happen, but you shouldn't focus on it. You feel better, live better, and that's the important thing; returning to your normal weight is only a consequence. And remember we are animals: we need more fat in winter than in summer, so you might keep a few pounds that will then be dropped during summer, but the whole point is that you should not think about it! > Don't look at yourself wishing to be thinner, because if you feel good, how you look is how you are supposed to look, how your body wants you to look. > > Good luck for everything, > . > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Thank you for your kind and encouraging reply. That's really cool that IE can seep into your life despite your inherent stubbornness. I'm certainly having a number of " wow " moments, and they're like grace--not anything that I have forced or MADE to happen, but that by being open to them, and aware, as you've said so often in the past, there they are. Of course I'll no doubt forget them again, but hopefully, they'll be a little closer to the surface the second or third or fourth time around. Thanks. Tilley > > > > I have had a really profound shift in the way I feel about food, after having legalized all sorts of things that were previously off-limits, but have, understandably still been gaining weight (I think, though since I no longer have a scale, I don't know for sure, and don't really want ever to have a number attached to me again), or at least not losing any. I really don't want to think about " losing weight " , and as soon as I get rid of this wretched cold, have a number of things I want to step up a little bit, in order to feel better and stronger. > > > > I've really enjoyed reading everyone's holiday posts, about overeating, but feeling okay (which I certainly did for Christmas dinner with my partner's huge, loving--and super-thin--family, but really not at any other time during this week of holiday events), and the things folks have been able to tell themselves....like " I am overweight because of ......, not because I am a bad person, " which has been so helpful to me. > > > > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. > > > > Tilley > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Thank you for your kind and encouraging reply. That's really cool that IE can seep into your life despite your inherent stubbornness. I'm certainly having a number of " wow " moments, and they're like grace--not anything that I have forced or MADE to happen, but that by being open to them, and aware, as you've said so often in the past, there they are. Of course I'll no doubt forget them again, but hopefully, they'll be a little closer to the surface the second or third or fourth time around. Thanks. Tilley > > > > I have had a really profound shift in the way I feel about food, after having legalized all sorts of things that were previously off-limits, but have, understandably still been gaining weight (I think, though since I no longer have a scale, I don't know for sure, and don't really want ever to have a number attached to me again), or at least not losing any. I really don't want to think about " losing weight " , and as soon as I get rid of this wretched cold, have a number of things I want to step up a little bit, in order to feel better and stronger. > > > > I've really enjoyed reading everyone's holiday posts, about overeating, but feeling okay (which I certainly did for Christmas dinner with my partner's huge, loving--and super-thin--family, but really not at any other time during this week of holiday events), and the things folks have been able to tell themselves....like " I am overweight because of ......, not because I am a bad person, " which has been so helpful to me. > > > > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. > > > > Tilley > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Thank you for your kind and encouraging reply. That's really cool that IE can seep into your life despite your inherent stubbornness. I'm certainly having a number of " wow " moments, and they're like grace--not anything that I have forced or MADE to happen, but that by being open to them, and aware, as you've said so often in the past, there they are. Of course I'll no doubt forget them again, but hopefully, they'll be a little closer to the surface the second or third or fourth time around. Thanks. Tilley > > > > I have had a really profound shift in the way I feel about food, after having legalized all sorts of things that were previously off-limits, but have, understandably still been gaining weight (I think, though since I no longer have a scale, I don't know for sure, and don't really want ever to have a number attached to me again), or at least not losing any. I really don't want to think about " losing weight " , and as soon as I get rid of this wretched cold, have a number of things I want to step up a little bit, in order to feel better and stronger. > > > > I've really enjoyed reading everyone's holiday posts, about overeating, but feeling okay (which I certainly did for Christmas dinner with my partner's huge, loving--and super-thin--family, but really not at any other time during this week of holiday events), and the things folks have been able to tell themselves....like " I am overweight because of ......, not because I am a bad person, " which has been so helpful to me. > > > > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. > > > > Tilley > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2011 Report Share Posted December 28, 2011 I only check this once a day when I get the digest in my email, so I'm a little late to the party on this one, sorry! Tilley, I understand the frustration that comes with wanting to honor your body and lose weight, but not actually losing weight. That's exactly where I was a year ago. I'd been making peace with food for years, but I was still overeating a lot, but not exactly guilt-tripping myself for it. I had developed genuine love and compassion for my body, but I was gaining steadily. You don't mention whether you're overeating or not, but I can tell you that my weight loss didn't occur until I made some emotional shifts that had nothing to do with food. I was anxious and depressed for years, and it took some big changes to lift that enough for me to feel comfortable choosing life over food, or finding things that mattered more to me than chocolate. First, I learned to have faith that things in life happen the way we need to, even if they suck at the time. They happen that way because we have something important to learn from them. These things are gifts, and learning to be grateful for them, including my struggle with food because it taught me to care for myself. After that, I cleared away the things that held me back. This involved a new job and moving to a new city. That may not be an issue for you, but it was very necessary and liberating for me. Finally, I reconnected with my passion for art and writing. Those became the spice of my life rather than food. I also learned to have fun again, made a good friend, healed my relationship with my husband, and allowed myself to be adventurous. I love my life, whereas a year ago, I was overweight and extremely depressed. I don't know if any of this struck a chord with you, but this is exactly how I was able to let go of food as anything more than food and reach my natural weight. -McKella > > I have had a really profound shift in the way I feel about food, after having legalized all sorts of things that were previously off-limits, but have, understandably still been gaining weight (I think, though since I no longer have a scale, I don't know for sure, and don't really want ever to have a number attached to me again), or at least not losing any. I really don't want to think about " losing weight " , and as soon as I get rid of this wretched cold, have a number of things I want to step up a little bit, in order to feel better and stronger. > > I've really enjoyed reading everyone's holiday posts, about overeating, but feeling okay (which I certainly did for Christmas dinner with my partner's huge, loving--and super-thin--family, but really not at any other time during this week of holiday events), and the things folks have been able to tell themselves....like " I am overweight because of ......, not because I am a bad person, " which has been so helpful to me. > > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that. > > Tilley > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2011 Report Share Posted December 28, 2011 McKella, You struck a chord w/ me! Thank you for taking the time to write this. I've been in the same frame of mind as Tilley wondering how I'm going to lose this excess weight at the rate I'm going. I know a huge part of my problem is mindless eating. Eating for reasons outside of hunger. I eat to avoid doing other things like cleaning, laundry, picking up after 3 kids, etc. Within the last month though I've have started doing crafty things to help fill this void. I realize I put guilt on myself for being a stay at home mom and feel like I should be doing work around the house the whole day and I'm not entitled to do anything relaxing/fun. I'm coming to realize how silly it is to think like that and I should be enjoying this time in my life. Thanks again for posting! Barb To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wednesday, December 28, 2011 9:13 AMSubject: Re: Normal? I only check this once a day when I get the digest in my email, so I'm a little late to the party on this one, sorry!Tilley, I understand the frustration that comes with wanting to honor your body and lose weight, but not actually losing weight. That's exactly where I was a year ago. I'd been making peace with food for years, but I was still overeating a lot, but not exactly guilt-tripping myself for it. I had developed genuine love and compassion for my body, but I was gaining steadily. You don't mention whether you're overeating or not, but I can tell you that my weight loss didn't occur until I made some emotional shifts that had nothing to do with food. I was anxious and depressed for years, and it took some big changes to lift that enough for me to feel comfortable choosing life over food, or finding things that mattered more to me than chocolate. First, I learned to have faith that things in life happen the way we need to, even if they suck at the time. They happen that way because we have something important to learn from them. These things are gifts, and learning to be grateful for them, including my struggle with food because it taught me to care for myself. After that, I cleared away the things that held me back. This involved a new job and moving to a new city. That may not be an issue for you, but it was very necessary and liberating for me. Finally, I reconnected with my passion for art and writing. Those became the spice of my life rather than food. I also learned to have fun again, made a good friend, healed my relationship with my husband, and allowed myself to be adventurous. I love my life, whereas a year ago, I was overweight and extremely depressed. I don't know if any of this struck a chord with you, but this is exactly how I was able to let go of food as anything more than food and reach my natural weight. -McKella>> I have had a really profound shift in the way I feel about food, after having legalized all sorts of things that were previously off-limits, but have, understandably still been gaining weight (I think, though since I no longer have a scale, I don't know for sure, and don't really want ever to have a number attached to me again), or at least not losing any. I really don't want to think about "losing weight", and as soon as I get rid of this wretched cold, have a number of things I want to step up a little bit, in order to feel better and stronger.> > I've really enjoyed reading everyone's holiday posts, about overeating, but feeling okay (which I certainly did for Christmas dinner with my partner's huge, loving--and super-thin--family, but really not at any other time during this week of holiday events), and the things folks have been able to tell themselves....like "I am overweight because of ......, not because I am a bad person," which has been so helpful to me.> > But am I ever going to start losing weight? I know that this rise at the beginning when we stop restricting is normal, but then once that becomes normal, and I stop overeating so much, is it also normal then to drop to one's normal weight, like what I weighed all through college, and for about seven years in my forties? I probably shouldn't even ask this, because it doesn't matter what anyone's answer is since I feel so much better around food this winter than I have ever felt before, and don't want to go back to any kind of crazy-making obsession, but I'd really like to be able to breathe at night and be able to run again and things like that.> > Tilley> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2011 Report Share Posted December 28, 2011 You know, Tilley, I like this. "I don't ever want to have a number attached to me again." I haven't thrown my scale out because, in a way, I want to have the option to use it.... maybe kind of like having "junk food" in the house. I can have it if I want to but I don't have to. I haven't weighed myself since the beginning of December and after a few days of angst I don't miss it at all.I'm planning a backpacking trip and had been planning to get a kitchen scale, just to see which sweater or pair of socks weighs an ounce less, and since reading this sentence in your post I've decided not to do that. I'm going to take the things I like best and cut back on what I don't need, or probably won't need.... just like IE. I've been on the Appalachian Trail a lot and the thing people talk about most, even more than what birds or flowers they saw that day, is the weight of their gear. "Cool stove (tent, pack, water filter, etc.), how much does it weigh?" It'll make jaws drop when I say, "I don't know; it's the one I like."Ellie I no longer have a scale, I don't know for sure, and don't really want ever to have a number attached to me again), Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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