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  • 4 years later...

Hi everyone, I just found this group and wanted to jump in. I've been attending

therapy for my own (non-BPD) issues, and as I describe my past and current

interactions with my mother, my therapist has said more than once that it sounds

like she is mentally ill, specifically with BPD. Reading the symptoms, she

certainly exhibits some (mood swings and anger issues, fear of abandonment) but

not necessarily others (constant black-and-white thinking, actual abuse). So I

don't know if I *count* as a KO. I know that even if she were a classic 100% BP,

she'd never get diagnosed, because she'd never get help for it. I know that I

would never bring up the fact that I think she has BPD, she'd flip for sure.

Last time I saw her during the holidays, she freaked out when I used to word

" boundaries " --she thought that meant that I was building a wall between us, and

she couldn't talk to me anymore. Fortunately she is getting help in other arenas

(namely, Al-Anon), and it is making it easier to deal with her. I have borrowed

a few recommended books from the library, and I hope to get an alternate method

of dealing with her. Right now all I do during her weekly call is listen to her

talk about herself and seethe silently with resentment and anger. Which I know

is not the way to do it, but that's the way I'm used to. Thanks for listening.

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Hi & welcome to the group. I'm not sure many of us can say with absolute

certainty that our nadas and/or fadas are actually suffering from BPD. It

is also kind of classic that many BPD persons won't seek help... so it's

like being between a rock & a hard place.

All of us have parent(s) who have BPD traits, however. And we all have

eerily similar stories... it's a strange thing because it's nice to know

you're not alone, but at the same time I feel bad because others had to go

through similar things with their parent(s).

Nada is the word many of us use to describe our likely BPD mothers. As in

" Not a (nada) real mother " . Fada is for the likely BPD fathers and some use

it to refer to the " dishrag dad " style so many of our dads had when it came

to dealing with an enraged, angry, mean & inappropriate mother.

I think you should also know that it is not uncommon for borderlines to also

be alcoholics. Certainly not all are addicts, and certainly not all addicts

are BPD... but it's not unheard of in the least.

I hope you will find this group a helpful, safe & comfortable place to be.

Mia

On Thu, Jan 27, 2011 at 6:32 PM, pale_and_nerdy wrote:

>

>

> Hi everyone, I just found this group and wanted to jump in. I've been

> attending therapy for my own (non-BPD) issues, and as I describe my past and

> current interactions with my mother, my therapist has said more than once

> that it sounds like she is mentally ill, specifically with BPD. Reading the

> symptoms, she certainly exhibits some (mood swings and anger issues, fear of

> abandonment) but not necessarily others (constant black-and-white thinking,

> actual abuse). So I don't know if I *count* as a KO. I know that even if she

> were a classic 100% BP, she'd never get diagnosed, because she'd never get

> help for it. I know that I would never bring up the fact that I think she

> has BPD, she'd flip for sure. Last time I saw her during the holidays, she

> freaked out when I used to word " boundaries " --she thought that meant that I

> was building a wall between us, and she couldn't talk to me anymore.

> Fortunately she is getting help in other arenas (namely, Al-Anon), and it is

> making it easier to deal with her. I have borrowed a few recommended books

> from the library, and I hope to get an alternate method of dealing with her.

> Right now all I do during her weekly call is listen to her talk about

> herself and seethe silently with resentment and anger. Which I know is not

> the way to do it, but that's the way I'm used to. Thanks for listening.

>

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Share on other sites

Hi & welcome to the group. I'm not sure many of us can say with absolute

certainty that our nadas and/or fadas are actually suffering from BPD. It

is also kind of classic that many BPD persons won't seek help... so it's

like being between a rock & a hard place.

All of us have parent(s) who have BPD traits, however. And we all have

eerily similar stories... it's a strange thing because it's nice to know

you're not alone, but at the same time I feel bad because others had to go

through similar things with their parent(s).

Nada is the word many of us use to describe our likely BPD mothers. As in

" Not a (nada) real mother " . Fada is for the likely BPD fathers and some use

it to refer to the " dishrag dad " style so many of our dads had when it came

to dealing with an enraged, angry, mean & inappropriate mother.

I think you should also know that it is not uncommon for borderlines to also

be alcoholics. Certainly not all are addicts, and certainly not all addicts

are BPD... but it's not unheard of in the least.

I hope you will find this group a helpful, safe & comfortable place to be.

Mia

On Thu, Jan 27, 2011 at 6:32 PM, pale_and_nerdy wrote:

>

>

> Hi everyone, I just found this group and wanted to jump in. I've been

> attending therapy for my own (non-BPD) issues, and as I describe my past and

> current interactions with my mother, my therapist has said more than once

> that it sounds like she is mentally ill, specifically with BPD. Reading the

> symptoms, she certainly exhibits some (mood swings and anger issues, fear of

> abandonment) but not necessarily others (constant black-and-white thinking,

> actual abuse). So I don't know if I *count* as a KO. I know that even if she

> were a classic 100% BP, she'd never get diagnosed, because she'd never get

> help for it. I know that I would never bring up the fact that I think she

> has BPD, she'd flip for sure. Last time I saw her during the holidays, she

> freaked out when I used to word " boundaries " --she thought that meant that I

> was building a wall between us, and she couldn't talk to me anymore.

> Fortunately she is getting help in other arenas (namely, Al-Anon), and it is

> making it easier to deal with her. I have borrowed a few recommended books

> from the library, and I hope to get an alternate method of dealing with her.

> Right now all I do during her weekly call is listen to her talk about

> herself and seethe silently with resentment and anger. Which I know is not

> the way to do it, but that's the way I'm used to. Thanks for listening.

>

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