Taking a break.... incontinence...mayonnaise

[Guest guest]

It's 10:30 and just went outside to eat some green bean salad I'd brought to

work. Typically I'd wait until lunch when too hungry and then bolt it down

while listeing to a co-worker ramble about work.

This time, though, I listened to my body, acknowledged that I was really hungry

and decided to take advantage of the picnic tables outside. So I sat alone for

a bit, perfectly enjoying the morning and really tasting my salad. It so pays

to take time to eat when hungry and eat in a setting where you can enjoy

yourself and relax.

Certain foods cause incontinence. For me it's gluten and sometimes just too

many carbs or sugar. But gluten for sure; no sneezes or coughs are safe for a

couple of days afterwards. For years I had food rules around gluten and then my

reactions got so back that it's no longer a rule not to eat it; I just avoid it

like the plague. It took that much for me to listen to my body, but at least

eventually I did.

I know the site is busy right now with lots of invested newcomers (me too) and

for me it's been helping a lot with all of the fluxiness of moving away from my

diet head and finding my natural appetite after all these years.

I actually almost thought I was possessed because of my drive to eat at times.

It felt very crazy, and very out of control. Within a short time here I've

learned that it was just a diet backlash. So many rules around food and so many

forbidden foods - and starving myself. And deciding to never, ever, ever eat

this or that food again. Ever. So punitive - all the good foods banished and

me feeling like a criminal for wanting them.

For example, I've just totally legalized mayonnaise. For too many years I've

forced myself to each such awful foods in the name of dieting - particularly

salads what almost gagged me with various low-fat, low carb, low taste, slimey

salad dressings! Yuk! Gagging down foods in order to lose weight was such a

waste of time. All those stupid WW meetings with all those recipes and all

those food plans and all that hunger and deprivation just for an image.

Now I have a lot of different ways of mixing up tastey salad dressings wth

mayonnaise and when I eat a salad, I enjoy it. I trust that I will not go

overboard because I've fired the diet police and I'm not stuffing out of fear

that my food will be taken away from me forever. No more taking away foods that

taste good in exchange for icky foods I have to choke down because I'm on a

diet.

Sigh... time for me to get back to work and be a good girl....