Should I call her tomorrow?

[Guest guest]

I'm new here. I posted a short version of my history with my mother (I don't

refer to her to a nada yet, she's very high-functioning and, thank goodness, I

haven't had quite the severity of issues that others have had). Anyways, she

lashed out in a violent rage and completely ruined Christmas when I went to

visit her last week. She knows I sacrificed a lot to travel cross country and

take off an entire week to see her, but that didn't seem to matter. When I left,

I had not spoken more than two words to her. I asked her not to accompany me to

the airport because I needed the ride to be peaceful and relaxed, since no part

of my " vacation " had been that way.

Other than comments on Facebook that seem to communicate she thinks everything

is just fine and dandy, I have had no contact with her since returning. Our

relationship has been very LC due to the residency difference. She lives in the

Southeast, and I live on the West coast.

I'm new to understanding BPD, and it's really shedding light on a lot of my

childhood and helping me understand my mother and why she has behaved the way

she has in the past. But she doesn't think she has a problem, and I'm still very

angry with her behavior during my visit. I usually call on holidays, and I don't

know if I should call her tomorrow. I just don't know what I would say. But I

suppose if I called just to say Happy New Year, that might be alright. I just

don't know. I love my mother--she clearly needs help and has her problems and

traumas to overcome--but she really is a good person and loves me.

I would appreciate any thoughts or anecdotes on how others have dealt with this.

Thanks.