Threats of Death from BPD parent

[Guest guest]

I suspect my dad is a paranoid delusional 'killer'? He has knowledge of body

disposal, lethal trace poisoning, actue gun knowledge, ballistics, forensic

knowledge, body disposal, blood spattering, expert karate, and tells at least

one story of murder overseas.

He has paranoid delusions about me and other people around him. I used to be

afraid he would kill me after finding notes on my own assassination and body

disposal when I was in high school and his own threats. Yet I believed in him

and supported him through a bankruptcy and gave him money for a new home closing

costs, moving expenses and furnishings(he had none).

From his actions I am now totally humiliated and shunned from the rest of the

family I relied on for support. He and I live together now after I hit him for

his betrayl and humiliation of me and consequenal arrest and prosecution.

How do I handle this asshole. I am unemployed due to the legal consequences and

even if I get a crap job he'll kick me out at the next fight we have(like

clockwork) 'cuz now I have an income. He's retired, home all the time, and

watches me constantly because of his paranoid delusions.

I have several ideas to make money but all require the income from a job that my

Dad will use against me. How the hell do I get outahere without him sabotaging

me first?

How do I get a job secretly so he doesn't go paranoid delusional all over my

ass?

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I can't imagine a worse-case scenario than me living with my nada.

We apparently bring out the very worst in each other, and get on each other's

nerves easily. The most I can tolerate being around her is a couple of days,

max.

When I took leave from my job to spend nearly 6 weeks living in her home to care

for/nurse her before & after some major surgery she needed, I became extremely

depressed (more depressed than I'd ever felt before in my life) and felt like a

dry, empty husk of a human being toward the end, like I'd been sucked dry.

If for some God-awful reason I had to live with her again, I'd be really afraid

because I think I'd feel both suicidal and homicidal at the same time. And I'd

be afraid that she would make false accusations that I'd tried to harm her or

had tried to steal from her or something. Its really not safe for me to be

alone with my own mother any more; I truly believe this.

I hope for your sake and your dad's that you can figure out some other living

arrangement. This is just my opinion, to take or leave as it suits you, but it

just doesn't sound like living with your father is a good thing for you *at

all*. From your posts it just isn't a positive or healthy experience for either

of you, and potentially an even tragic experience.

Is there any way you could even start researching other living arrangements? Me

personally, I'd consider living in my car, or in a dorm, or sleeping on the

couch in a one-bedroom apartment with 5 roommates preferable to living with my

nada.

But each of us has to decide for himself or herself what we can or can't

tolerate. I hope you can figure out something that will work for you, I truly

do.

-Annie

>

> I suspect my dad is a paranoid delusional 'killer'? He has knowledge of body

disposal, lethal trace poisoning, actue gun knowledge, ballistics, forensic

knowledge, body disposal, blood spattering, expert karate, and tells at least

one story of murder overseas.

>

> He has paranoid delusions about me and other people around him. I used to be

afraid he would kill me after finding notes on my own assassination and body

disposal when I was in high school and his own threats. Yet I believed in him

and supported him through a bankruptcy and gave him money for a new home closing

costs, moving expenses and furnishings(he had none).

>

> From his actions I am now totally humiliated and shunned from the rest of the

family I relied on for support. He and I live together now after I hit him for

his betrayl and humiliation of me and consequenal arrest and prosecution.

>

> How do I handle this asshole. I am unemployed due to the legal consequences

and even if I get a crap job he'll kick me out at the next fight we have(like

clockwork) 'cuz now I have an income. He's retired, home all the time, and

watches me constantly because of his paranoid delusions.

>

> I have several ideas to make money but all require the income from a job that

my Dad will use against me. How the hell do I get outahere without him

sabotaging me first?

>

> How do I get a job secretly so he doesn't go paranoid delusional all over my

ass?

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I can't imagine a worse-case scenario than me living with my nada.

We apparently bring out the very worst in each other, and get on each other's

nerves easily. The most I can tolerate being around her is a couple of days,

max.

When I took leave from my job to spend nearly 6 weeks living in her home to care

for/nurse her before & after some major surgery she needed, I became extremely

depressed (more depressed than I'd ever felt before in my life) and felt like a

dry, empty husk of a human being toward the end, like I'd been sucked dry.

If for some God-awful reason I had to live with her again, I'd be really afraid

because I think I'd feel both suicidal and homicidal at the same time. And I'd

be afraid that she would make false accusations that I'd tried to harm her or

had tried to steal from her or something. Its really not safe for me to be

alone with my own mother any more; I truly believe this.

I hope for your sake and your dad's that you can figure out some other living

arrangement. This is just my opinion, to take or leave as it suits you, but it

just doesn't sound like living with your father is a good thing for you *at

all*. From your posts it just isn't a positive or healthy experience for either

of you, and potentially an even tragic experience.

Is there any way you could even start researching other living arrangements? Me

personally, I'd consider living in my car, or in a dorm, or sleeping on the

couch in a one-bedroom apartment with 5 roommates preferable to living with my

nada.

But each of us has to decide for himself or herself what we can or can't

tolerate. I hope you can figure out something that will work for you, I truly

do.

-Annie

>

> I suspect my dad is a paranoid delusional 'killer'? He has knowledge of body

disposal, lethal trace poisoning, actue gun knowledge, ballistics, forensic

knowledge, body disposal, blood spattering, expert karate, and tells at least

one story of murder overseas.

>

> He has paranoid delusions about me and other people around him. I used to be

afraid he would kill me after finding notes on my own assassination and body

disposal when I was in high school and his own threats. Yet I believed in him

and supported him through a bankruptcy and gave him money for a new home closing

costs, moving expenses and furnishings(he had none).

>

> From his actions I am now totally humiliated and shunned from the rest of the

family I relied on for support. He and I live together now after I hit him for

his betrayl and humiliation of me and consequenal arrest and prosecution.

>

> How do I handle this asshole. I am unemployed due to the legal consequences

and even if I get a crap job he'll kick me out at the next fight we have(like

clockwork) 'cuz now I have an income. He's retired, home all the time, and

watches me constantly because of his paranoid delusions.

>

> I have several ideas to make money but all require the income from a job that

my Dad will use against me. How the hell do I get outahere without him

sabotaging me first?

>

> How do I get a job secretly so he doesn't go paranoid delusional all over my

ass?

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I can't imagine a worse-case scenario than me living with my nada.

We apparently bring out the very worst in each other, and get on each other's

nerves easily. The most I can tolerate being around her is a couple of days,

max.

When I took leave from my job to spend nearly 6 weeks living in her home to care

for/nurse her before & after some major surgery she needed, I became extremely

depressed (more depressed than I'd ever felt before in my life) and felt like a

dry, empty husk of a human being toward the end, like I'd been sucked dry.

If for some God-awful reason I had to live with her again, I'd be really afraid

because I think I'd feel both suicidal and homicidal at the same time. And I'd

be afraid that she would make false accusations that I'd tried to harm her or

had tried to steal from her or something. Its really not safe for me to be

alone with my own mother any more; I truly believe this.

I hope for your sake and your dad's that you can figure out some other living

arrangement. This is just my opinion, to take or leave as it suits you, but it

just doesn't sound like living with your father is a good thing for you *at

all*. From your posts it just isn't a positive or healthy experience for either

of you, and potentially an even tragic experience.

Is there any way you could even start researching other living arrangements? Me

personally, I'd consider living in my car, or in a dorm, or sleeping on the

couch in a one-bedroom apartment with 5 roommates preferable to living with my

nada.

But each of us has to decide for himself or herself what we can or can't

tolerate. I hope you can figure out something that will work for you, I truly

do.

-Annie

>

> I suspect my dad is a paranoid delusional 'killer'? He has knowledge of body

disposal, lethal trace poisoning, actue gun knowledge, ballistics, forensic

knowledge, body disposal, blood spattering, expert karate, and tells at least

one story of murder overseas.

>

> He has paranoid delusions about me and other people around him. I used to be

afraid he would kill me after finding notes on my own assassination and body

disposal when I was in high school and his own threats. Yet I believed in him

and supported him through a bankruptcy and gave him money for a new home closing

costs, moving expenses and furnishings(he had none).

>

> From his actions I am now totally humiliated and shunned from the rest of the

family I relied on for support. He and I live together now after I hit him for

his betrayl and humiliation of me and consequenal arrest and prosecution.

>

> How do I handle this asshole. I am unemployed due to the legal consequences

and even if I get a crap job he'll kick me out at the next fight we have(like

clockwork) 'cuz now I have an income. He's retired, home all the time, and

watches me constantly because of his paranoid delusions.

>

> I have several ideas to make money but all require the income from a job that

my Dad will use against me. How the hell do I get outahere without him

sabotaging me first?

>

> How do I get a job secretly so he doesn't go paranoid delusional all over my

ass?

>

[Guest guest]

thanks annie,

Those are some ideas.  I appreciate the feedback, it's nice to be acknowledged. 

I never leave the house because I ran the car into a pole during a freakout on

the road after a paranoid episode with my Dad.  My plan is to take a bus about

20 miles away and donate blood twice a week to make about 200bucks a month. 

After a couple months that will pay for one idea I have to make money so I can

leave. 

thanks again for the ideas.

[Guest guest]

thanks annie,

Those are some ideas.  I appreciate the feedback, it's nice to be acknowledged. 

I never leave the house because I ran the car into a pole during a freakout on

the road after a paranoid episode with my Dad.  My plan is to take a bus about

20 miles away and donate blood twice a week to make about 200bucks a month. 

After a couple months that will pay for one idea I have to make money so I can

leave. 

thanks again for the ideas.

[Guest guest]

thanks annie,

Those are some ideas.  I appreciate the feedback, it's nice to be acknowledged. 

I never leave the house because I ran the car into a pole during a freakout on

the road after a paranoid episode with my Dad.  My plan is to take a bus about

20 miles away and donate blood twice a week to make about 200bucks a month. 

After a couple months that will pay for one idea I have to make money so I can

leave. 

thanks again for the ideas.